Home | Community | Message Board


This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Bridgetown Botanicals CBD Concentrates   Myyco.com Golden Teacher Liquid Culture For Sale   PhytoExtractum Kratom Powder for Sale   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   MagicBag.co Certified Organic All-In-One Grow Bags   Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2  [ show all ]
OfflineRealized
Stranger


Registered: 12/16/08
Posts: 223
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
Am I going insane or what?
    #10407249 - 05/27/09 12:10 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Well, I don't even know where to begin.

To begin with I feel like I have been tricked by spirituality and spiritual teachings. I don't even think it exists anymore. We have no spirit, no soul or anything mystical. All we have is a brain which will die. I do still think there is a possibly of having a soul or something that survives death but I really don't care. Thinking about all of this is taking a huge toll on my mind. I feel so tired and weak. I can hardly get out of bed much less deal with anything.

Here is a brief description of what is going on with me. (Mainly thoughts I am struggling with)

I use to think consciousness was everything but I realized it is possible that it is only our brains creating this consciousness. I can't tell if I was tricked of if its true. God being consciousness or Consciousness being something solely created in our brains is about a 50/50 chance.

It all seems to be irrelevant to our condition anyways but I cannot stop thinking about it. Part of the reason I cannot stop thinking about it is that I do not want to think about it which makes me think about it. A website I use to go to made it seem like enlightenment was something you had to accept. The lady that runs the website claimed to be a shaman. here is a link to the site http://www.kundalini-teacher.com/

I just simply don't know if I was duped or if I was right.

I feel like reality has just smacked me in the face. I am not god or some spirit of light I am just an animal with a brain that can conceive these things. I have really always known this but I never viewed myself as just a piece of biology before. Viewing my self as just a brain with neurons firing is pretty destructive. It normally wouldn't be but I am taking it personally.


I really don't know what to think about anything. I feel like I am dead right now. Absolutely no life left, no joy, no hope, no anything. I just want to get on with life and escape these awful feelings of dread. I don't care if I am a spirit or just a brain. It is irrelevant to living my life. I want relative meaning. I know I can apply it but it is extremely hard.

I had a week where I felt perfect. Where I reestablished reason into my life, I was skeptical of everything instead of attaching myself to what could be just a delusion and I felt okay. I remember when the feeling of okay came over me. I was just laying in my bed and didn't want to move, not because of being so mentally tired that I couldn't but because the amount of relief I felt. It was the first time in what seems like forever that I could breathe, smile and enjoy life. I remember laying in bed so relaxed. I felt like I was actually getting rest for the first time in what felt like forever. The next day was amazing. I did not feel ashamed of who I was and I felt happy and like i rediscovered something that was lost. I felt real compassion for other human beings. Compassion based on reason not some universe philosophy where we are all one. I felt bonds with other people. I could laugh, I could actually feel. I felt as If I finally escaped the worst period of my life. I knew everything was meaningless but I knew I was the only one that could apply meaning. My life finally had meaning again. Not a meaning that I was actually doing something important but a meaning that i gave it. I laughed at myself for caring so much about irrelevant matters.

Now I feel like it has all crumbled again. I feel like I am running out of strength. Feeling ok then going back to feeling like complete shit is awful. I am not a big korn fan at all but the line 'Every time i start to believe, Somethings raped and taken from me' sis exactly how I feel right now.

I want a world view based on logic and reason, not superstition.

I'm sorry if this makes no sense at all. I doubt that it dose but I don't even know what sense is right now. Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.


--------------------
“The person lives most beautifully who does not reflect upon existence” - Friedrich Nietzsche

"Change my mind so much I can't even trust it. My mind changes me so much I can't even trust myself."

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinediminutiveshroom
Ecologist
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/24/09
Posts: 121
Last seen: 14 years, 4 months
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Realized]
    #10407442 - 05/27/09 01:06 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

well... i feel you have a very over analytical view on life itself. The reason for living is to experience what life has to offer, and to enjoy yourself. Whatever happens after death will happen, regardless of what you believe. As long as you are a good person ( don't fuck with other people) then everything will be ok in the end. Just live life for what it is and stop stressing about the meaning. Because there is no definite answer.

and eat a couple shrooms while you're at it
hope this helps


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibledeCypher
 User Gallery


Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 56,232
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Realized]
    #10407451 - 05/27/09 01:10 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Viewing my self as just a brain with neurons firing

You are partly correct, but leave out the 'just'.  Looking through one perspective you stipulate rightly that we're biochemical machines governed by neural firings and the cold, calculating collisions of neurotransmitters in synaptic clefts.  But don't neglect the other perspective: you are alive and aware right now; experiencing this mystery of a thing called consciousness.  There is a common trend among some scientists to eliminate all vestiges of such superstitious nonsense as Awareness; instead recognize that the scientific paradigm and the mental paradigm are but two halves of the complete whole.  Everything is atoms; everything is mind.  It's when you throw in the 'just' or try to eliminate the one half of the big picture that you'll find yourself mired in inextricable and hopeless pessimism.

As far as death anxiety goes (which I presume you are also hinting at), I too believe there will there be no conscious experience after my brain dies.  But this only gives me more impetus to live it up now while I still have the chance.  :wink:


--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineandrewss
precariously aggrandized


Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 8,725
Loc: ohio
Last seen: 3 months, 11 days
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: deCypher]
    #10407525 - 05/27/09 01:30 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Learn to cultivate a sense of humor, laugh at yourself.

Realizing what you have is alright. Life is a pure mystery. Think for yourself and let your mind flow.

Perhaps you should read some existentialism... oh and Spinoza was a good thinker too.

I agree with what a lot of decypher had to say, that just word is merely a word. And hey, just because you feel familiarized with some of the science surrounding the brain and what not doesnt mean it all is already shoved in your "face" and already fucking awesome. So what if the thing that is you is physical. Why is the spiritual so valued? Don't discount the fact that you are an incarnate being that is gifted/condemned to a lot of freedom. Exercise yourself and get busy living man!


--------------------
Jesus loves you.

Edited by andrewss (05/27/09 01:32 PM)

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinerushofblood
Stranger


Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 245
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: andrewss]
    #10407970 - 05/27/09 02:49 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Welcome to nihilism?

If you're like me, advice like "just be happy" doesn't do anything for you, right? You've already thought about this stuff, the things you've found out aren't just going to go away.

Most people's brains seem to consider the things you're talking about to be "unnecessary information" and filter it out. You don't have that luxury anymore.

You're not crazy for feeling this way, that's about all I can tell you. People will probably still treat you like you are, you should try to get as far from these people as you can.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleWhiskeyClone
Not here
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Realized]
    #10408065 - 05/27/09 03:03 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

All this torment arises from trying to pin down what you are with your thoughts.  I'm convinced it can't be done.

As creatures, our capabilities are limited.  Even other animals can put us to shame when it comes to sense of scent, hearing, sight etc.  For example, only a tiny sliver of the spectrum of light is detectable to humans.  Therefore it's extremely likely that there are vast realms of sensation and information that we will never have any awareness or understanding of.

How likely is it that human brains and human senses are even capable of comprehending what it means to be alive or conscious?  We just don't have all the pieces to the puzzle.  Not even close, yet we kill ourselves trying to put it all together.  It's just grasping at security and certainty where there is none to be had.

Get comfortable not knowing.  In general.

You won't ever figure it out, and you don't need to.  Keep your attention away from your self-concept and metaphysics and all those endless analytical rabbitholes and put it on the concrete stuff around you: what you do, what you appreciate, what you want in life.  Too much thinking is a vicious habit.  Do more, think less.  If you place your attention on your senses and surroundings, it doesn't get wasted on useless thinking.

Death is just more thinking.  You can't know death, only think about it.  Logic is never going to pin it down.  You can think of yourself as a bag of meat with numbered days if you want, but that doesn't put you any closer to any kind of truth or understanding, it's just more figuring and guessing. 

Life is a fact; it's right here, you are experiencing it right now.  Death, to a living thing, is only conceptual.  Concern yourself with the tangible, let the thinking and mental modeling go.  It's just a habit to distract yourself from the discomfort of a reality you can't control, no different than fidgeting or other addictions.


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineFraggin
Multi-Faceted
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/05/05
Posts: 8,707
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #10408164 - 05/27/09 03:18 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Focus on the moment.

Dont think too far ahead in the future. You will miss what's happening right now. What is happening right now is real. What will happen in the future does not exist.

Don't think about the past, what happened in the past no longer exists and by focusing on it, you are focusing on an illusion. Focus on what is now and here, that is real. And also realize that reality is an illusion.

All you have is your perspective, everything else exists in time where moth and rust doth corrupt.
If your perspective is being destroyed by illusions of the past and the present, then you are, yourself, destroying the only thing that cannot be taken from you. Of course you are miserable.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRealized
Stranger


Registered: 12/16/08
Posts: 223
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: rushofblood]
    #10411916 - 05/28/09 03:06 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

rushofblood said:
Welcome to nihilism?

If you're like me, advice like "just be happy" doesn't do anything for you, right? You've already thought about this stuff, the things you've found out aren't just going to go away.

Most people's brains seem to consider the things you're talking about to be "unnecessary information" and filter it out. You don't have that luxury anymore.

You're not crazy for feeling this way, that's about all I can tell you. People will probably still treat you like you are, you should try to get as far from these people as you can.





Yeah, I have tried just being happy for so long. I feel like the past year of my life has been a life time. I was trying to rebuild myself and all of a sudden it just hit me. I'm just a brain what is there to rebuild?

Most people actually don't think I am crazy though. Evey one I am around usually thinks I am really smart and cool for some reason. I don't really get why because I don't view myself like that at all. People do laugh at me sometimes because of how awkward and shy I am but I don't really care. When I am around people i usually just watch everything and throw in a few comments here and there.

Well, now that I think about it when I am around people other than my close friends they think I hate them or they make jokes telling me not to kill them... This kinda gets to me because I am one of the most kind people that I know.
People always think I am sad. Random people ask me if I am ok or tell me to cheer up... I usually just smile a fake smile and think to myself that I would if I could.. Wow, I just realized that this happens all the time. At the store, at Tim Horton's, at the mall, at the water park even at the strip club. I feel like a damn ghost. Like I am just watching everything and not able to take part in it. If I could escape this feeling of doom I know I could have a good life. I could become anything I want, I could get any girl I want. I could live a great life even if it is pointless it would not be pointless at the time. I am only 19 and I feel like my life has already ended. Its like I am an old man on my death bed just waiting to die. Frightened of what lies ahead if it is anything at all.

I want a family someday, i want to live, I want to become someone successful doing something important. I don't care if it is all pointless. Like I said, I am 19, I should be living this up. Hooking up with girls and building a life for myself. I really just want to kill myself but I can't because I want to live so badly.

I know its pitiful. Me ever living and being happy again seems impossible but I know its not i just need strength to move on but its so hard when you understand how pointless everything really is. I feel like I am on a bus that's going no where but I could at least enjoy the ride. My only other option is to get off early but I don't want that yet.

I just want to make this all go away but I can't. It feels to real to escape. I don't want faith in any sort of god or philosophy. All I want is faith in myself and that doesn't seem to much to ask.

Thanks for caring everyone.


--------------------
“The person lives most beautifully who does not reflect upon existence” - Friedrich Nietzsche

"Change my mind so much I can't even trust it. My mind changes me so much I can't even trust myself."

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineDimensionX
King of Birds
Male

Registered: 09/26/07
Posts: 5,486
Loc: Australia Flag
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Realized]
    #10411965 - 05/28/09 03:40 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Compulsive thoughts like that can be really devastating for your well being. Are you taking any drugs which might be contributing to it? Like pot for example?

I find LSD can be really good for helping you chill out and rationalize things, not only while your on it but in the long term. But be careful taking strong psychedelics while your in a negative mind frame.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibledeCypher
 User Gallery


Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 56,232
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Realized]
    #10411969 - 05/28/09 03:41 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

I would recommend the philosophy of DGAF.

Don't Give A Fuck.


--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleChronic7
Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 13,679
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Realized]
    #10411988 - 05/28/09 03:55 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Your mind will throw up doubts when confronted with truth, but why trust that which doesnt actually serve you?

Is this overthinking fun?

Consciousness is all there is, this hurts because you believe yourself to be a person, not consciousness

All you can say is you are Awareness, forget about spirit & brain & all this nonsense, you are Aware you exist, that much you KNOW, so investigate your own existence, BE with BEING, anything that drags you out into overthinking is just going to cause more trouble, stay with your SELF, its more than enough



This distress is beautiful...

You are being cooked slowly from inside, soon you'll be tender enough for the infinite to consume

:peace:


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRealized
Stranger


Registered: 12/16/08
Posts: 223
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Chronic7]
    #10412051 - 05/28/09 05:02 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Chronic777 said:
Your mind will throw up doubts when confronted with truth, but why trust that which doesnt actually serve you?

Is this overthinking fun?

Consciousness is all there is, this hurts because you believe yourself to be a person, not consciousness

All you can say is you are Awareness, forget about spirit & brain & all this nonsense, you are Aware you exist, that much you KNOW, so investigate your own existence, BE with BEING, anything that drags you out into overthinking is just going to cause more trouble, stay with your SELF, its more than enough



This distress is beautiful...

You are being cooked slowly from inside, soon you'll be tender enough for the infinite to consume

:peace:





I have already been to the infinite. I don't want that. Its to empty and I fear for my sanity while in it.

And no, no drugs are causing this. I haven't smoked weed in at least 6 months after realizing it made me go into an almost psychotic state. I have only tripped once about a year ago. I haven't drank in about 3 months.


--------------------
“The person lives most beautifully who does not reflect upon existence” - Friedrich Nietzsche

"Change my mind so much I can't even trust it. My mind changes me so much I can't even trust myself."

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleChronic7
Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 13,679
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Realized]
    #10412411 - 05/28/09 08:25 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Realized said:

I have already been to the infinite. I don't want that.





If you'd really been to the infinite 'you' wouldn't have come back

:peace:


--------------------

Edited by Chronic7 (05/28/09 11:57 AM)

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineFraggin
Multi-Faceted
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/05/05
Posts: 8,707
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Realized]
    #10412443 - 05/28/09 08:36 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

You may be too hard on yourself about this. If you are only 19, then you have a lot of experiences to go through yet. Life will happen and your perspective will change. Allow it to and give it time.

You say that you want a family one day. If you do, then your focus should be on setting yourself up to provide for a family. Education, Career, skills, etc should be your primary focus at age 19 if you eventually want a family. It's no fun to have a family if you and your spouse both have to work 20 hours of overtime each week just to make ends meet. You should be in a position to work 9 to 5 and provide enough income to allow your wife to work part time or just be a homemaker. That way, you can enjoy your family instead of slaving away just to get the bills paid and mouths fed.

When you have children, your perspective will change completely. The concept of understanding love eventually completes itself when you have your own children. Something to think about.

Spirituality, Enlightenment, Taoism, Nihilism, Truth, Lies, Philosophy, etc will always exist and will be here when you are ready to return to them. Determine what is important to you in reality and focus on that for the time being.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleChronic7
Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 13,679
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Fraggin]
    #10412667 - 05/28/09 09:53 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Don't dicount the whole of spirituality cause your mind feels thats its been fully explored & you found no satisfaction

If you find the real truth then you can't turn back away from it & complain about your life...

:peace:


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRealized
Stranger


Registered: 12/16/08
Posts: 223
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Chronic7]
    #10412986 - 05/28/09 11:30 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Chronic777 said:
Quote:

Realized said:

I have already been to the infinite. I don't want that.





If you'd really been to the infinite 'you' wouldn't have come back:peace:





I realized it wasn't what I wanted at the time. Being there made me loose track of what I needed to stay alive.
Quote:

Chronic777 said:
Don't dicount the whole of spirituality cause your mind feels thats its been fully explored & you found no satisfaction

If you find the real truth then you can't turn back away from it & complain about your life...

:peace:





Why not? And what is the real truth? Its not all its cracked up to be man. Its not hey its the truth cool im ok. I think it is more of a recovery or transformation than living your life in the abyss. Enlightenment, schizophrenia and depersonalization have alot in common. All it is is the death of the ego. Just because you have read the Tao Te Ching and taken shrooms doesn't mean you understand 'the truth'. I once had a similar mindset as you though. I think I might be running from it to much now that I think about it. I was doing fine until I started not believing it. But just because it is real doesn't mean you have to live in it. This website has been a lot of help to me and is basically how I view it now. http://spiritualrecoveries.blogspot.com/. You might need it in the future.

Even John Lennon turned away eventually. It is good to dabble in and experience but I WANT to recover from it. I want to get to where I feel alive again instead of completely empty... A good way to describe it is I lost my Ego and thought well, since my self is gone I can rebuild myself as I want to be and do something with my physical life. Somehow I ended up in the crisis I made a thread about.

Here is a song that basically describes how I felt after finding 'the truth'. I'm not a fan of the band but I love this song because of how much I can relate to it value="


(Sorry, the live version is all I could find)

Here are the lyrics http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/illnino/unreal.html

I am sure something good can come out of this pain though and I understand where you are coming from man but basically I think there is a point to reach after ego death which I will call ego restoration. But not your old ego, a new healthy ego.. An Ego you want.


--------------------
“The person lives most beautifully who does not reflect upon existence” - Friedrich Nietzsche

"Change my mind so much I can't even trust it. My mind changes me so much I can't even trust myself."

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Realized]
    #10413023 - 05/28/09 11:42 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Dude, just stay calm.  And breathe.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineandrewss
precariously aggrandized


Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 8,725
Loc: ohio
Last seen: 3 months, 11 days
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Chronic7]
    #10413102 - 05/28/09 11:58 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Isn't it a bunch of bullshit when people living in modern and comfortable nations can be such whiners. I mean I can empathize with some of the sentiments here but come on, whining should be overcome quickly. Don't squander your blessings. Get busy living or dying :wink:

Maybe you were too eager for that spiritual stuff or whatever and now you are having a crisis because you sense the bullshit.

Good luck to you I guess


--------------------
Jesus loves you.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleChronic7
Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 13,679
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Realized]
    #10413156 - 05/28/09 12:08 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Realized said:

Why not? And what is the real truth? Its not all its cracked up to be man. Its not hey its the truth cool im ok. I think it is more of a recovery or transformation than living your life in the abyss. Enlightenment, schizophrenia and depersonalization have alot in common. All it is is the death of the ego. Just because you have read the Tao Te Ching and taken shrooms doesn't mean you understand 'the truth'. .


I am sure something good can come out of this pain though and I understand where you are coming from man but basically I think there is a point to reach after ego death which I will call ego restoration. But not your old ego, a new healthy ego.. An Ego you want.




I havent just read the tao te ching & taken shrooms dude :wink:
I work closely with a Buddha who is fully awake to to the truth & he's shown me the truth in my Self a number of times. Im not just shit talking here dude im talking about the ultimate, the highest bliss, total liberation.

When i say if you'd been to the infinite 'you' wouldnt be saying these things, what i mean is... When the raindrop touches the ocean, can it come back & say the ocean is not enough? That it wants more than the ocean?

Something is happening to you right now, your mind will throw up resistance as the mind does not want to enter the unknown & change, its habituated to what it knows & the same patterns...

The best thing you can do right now when this pain is burning inside you is take a step back into your Self, breathe & trust the universe, your really okay, i can tell you 100% with no BS, that it may seem real, but all this is in your mind. Trust your Self.

:peace:


--------------------

Edited by Chronic7 (05/28/09 01:11 PM)

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRealized
Stranger


Registered: 12/16/08
Posts: 223
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Chronic7]
    #10413969 - 05/28/09 03:03 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

I'm just going to try to relax and hope this passes. I don't know why all this is coming up. I thought I made peace with it long ago


--------------------
“The person lives most beautifully who does not reflect upon existence” - Friedrich Nietzsche

"Change my mind so much I can't even trust it. My mind changes me so much I can't even trust myself."

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineFraggin
Multi-Faceted
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/05/05
Posts: 8,707
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Realized]
    #10414000 - 05/28/09 03:08 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

tsk. tsk. tsk...  What you did a long time ago does not exist today.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleChronic7
Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 13,679
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Realized]
    #10414259 - 05/28/09 04:06 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Realized said:
I'm just going to try to relax and hope this passes




don't even hope this passes
for a second just trust that your are completely fine already
cause i know that you actually are
you just think something is troubling you

you know that this is gonna pass anyway, everything passes
you could wake up 2mro fine, but why wait?

right now don't give these thoughts influence over you
stay 100% as your Self

take a look & see, what is really sticking to you?

:peace:


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleMastamike1118
Male

Registered: 03/29/07
Posts: 2,010
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Realized]
    #10414318 - 05/28/09 04:20 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

i have felt like you before... maybe can never be sure but... i think you have forgotten who you are... the goal is not to change who you are and your dreams but incorporate them into the change you are bringing about...

insane people are blissful because they no longer resemble human or anything human... they dont have feelings... etc..

start to trust yourself more and more and also learn to love when their is that choice between hate and love... little by little

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRealized
Stranger


Registered: 12/16/08
Posts: 223
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Chronic7]
    #10419611 - 05/29/09 12:49 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Chronic777 said:
Quote:

Realized said:

Why not? And what is the real truth? Its not all its cracked up to be man. Its not hey its the truth cool im ok. I think it is more of a recovery or transformation than living your life in the abyss. Enlightenment, schizophrenia and depersonalization have alot in common. All it is is the death of the ego. Just because you have read the Tao Te Ching and taken shrooms doesn't mean you understand 'the truth'. .


I am sure something good can come out of this pain though and I understand where you are coming from man but basically I think there is a point to reach after ego death which I will call ego restoration. But not your old ego, a new healthy ego.. An Ego you want.




I havent just read the tao te ching & taken shrooms dude :wink:
I work closely with a Buddha who is fully awake to to the truth & he's shown me the truth in my Self a number of times. Im not just shit talking here dude im talking about the ultimate, the highest bliss, total liberation.

When i say if you'd been to the infinite 'you' wouldnt be saying these things, what i mean is... When the raindrop touches the ocean, can it come back & say the ocean is not enough? That it wants more than the ocean?

Something is happening to you right now, your mind will throw up resistance as the mind does not want to enter the unknown & change, its habituated to what it knows & the same patterns...

The best thing you can do right now when this pain is burning inside you is take a step back into your Self, breathe & trust the universe, your really okay, i can tell you 100% with no BS, that it may seem real, but all this is in your mind. Trust your Self.

:peace:





Im feeling alittle better now but I just have to tell you this man. Just because you work with a guru that claims he knows the truth or whatever doesn't mean he does. Gurus can lie and do everything normal people do. He could very well think he knows the truth but he could just be in psychosis... Be careful who you put your trust in man, seriously. And do you really want to live in bliss for forever? Sounds awful to me.

The infinite is a dangerous place to stay in man. Remember if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others. - Friedrich Nietzsche

Also just because something in blissful doesn't mean it is true and you could be doing nothing but flooding your brain with chemicals.

One more thing. How you talked about being a drop falling into the ocean. I prefer to view it like I were a fish that went up for air (The surface of the water being the infinite). Now I'm ready to go back under and finish my life instead of staying above the water until I suffocate.

One more quote from Nietzsche lol. I think he understood this very well.

To find everything profound - that is an inconvenient trait. It makes one strain ones eyes all the time, and in the end one finds more than one might have wished.
Friedrich Nietzsche


--------------------
“The person lives most beautifully who does not reflect upon existence” - Friedrich Nietzsche

"Change my mind so much I can't even trust it. My mind changes me so much I can't even trust myself."

Edited by Realized (05/29/09 12:55 PM)

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibledeCypher
 User Gallery


Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 56,232
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Realized]
    #10419616 - 05/29/09 12:49 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Realized said: And do you really want to live in bliss for forever?




Who doesn't?  :confused:


--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblePoid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir
Male User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 40,372
Loc: SF Bay Area Flag
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: deCypher]
    #10419740 - 05/29/09 01:12 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Catholics. :sadyes:


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleMastamike1118
Male

Registered: 03/29/07
Posts: 2,010
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Poid]
    #10423485 - 05/30/09 02:02 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

the price of living in bliss forever is either homelessness or if your lucky your parents will let u stay with them.. or if your unlucky a mental hospital which will take away from your bliss... bliss is great... but you will have to give up your soul... you will no longer be yourself..

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibledeCypher
 User Gallery


Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 56,232
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Mastamike1118]
    #10423574 - 05/30/09 02:54 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Mastamike1118 said:
the price of living in bliss forever is either homelessness or if your lucky your parents will let u stay with them.. or if your unlucky a mental hospital which will take away from your bliss... bliss is great... but you will have to give up your soul... you will no longer be yourself..




:wtf: If you're born into a wealthy family or win the lottery I'm pretty sure you can live in bliss for a short while at least without giving up your soul.


--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRealized
Stranger


Registered: 12/16/08
Posts: 223
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Mastamike1118]
    #10423607 - 05/30/09 03:07 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Mastamike1118 said:
the price of living in bliss forever is either homelessness or if your lucky your parents will let u stay with them.. or if your unlucky a mental hospital which will take away from your bliss... bliss is great... but you will have to give up your soul... you will no longer be yourself..






--------------------
“The person lives most beautifully who does not reflect upon existence” - Friedrich Nietzsche

"Change my mind so much I can't even trust it. My mind changes me so much I can't even trust myself."

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleMastamike1118
Male

Registered: 03/29/07
Posts: 2,010
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Realized]
    #10423734 - 05/30/09 03:47 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

yes it is bliss... we are not all born into the stength for the burdens... sometimes our parents put themselves on us and shape us how they want us.... sometimes you are born free.. free but with still your own weaknesses... we all have a weakness some of ours our easy to identify ... look yourself in the eye and ask for forgiveness... amen one love peace out

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRealized
Stranger


Registered: 12/16/08
Posts: 223
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Mastamike1118]
    #10425765 - 05/30/09 03:34 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

I think I just found something that describes the process very well.
What is entailed then is:


(i) a voyage from outer to inner,
(ii) from life to a kind of death,
(iii) from going forward to going back,
(iv) From temporal movement to temporal standstill,
(v) from mundane time to eonic time,
(vi) from the ego to the self,
(vii) from outside (post-birth) back into the womb of all things (pre-birth),

and then subsequently a return voyage from
(1) inner to outer,
(2) from death to life,
(3) from the movement back to a movement forward once more,
(4) from immortality back to mortality,
(5) from eternity back to time,
(6) from self to a new ego,
(7) from a cosmic fetalization to an existential rebirth.


--------------------
“The person lives most beautifully who does not reflect upon existence” - Friedrich Nietzsche

"Change my mind so much I can't even trust it. My mind changes me so much I can't even trust myself."

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineAlphaFalfa
imagine


Registered: 06/16/08
Posts: 3,857
Loc: 3 Seconds Ago. Flag
Last seen: 10 years, 29 days
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: Realized]
    #10427223 - 05/30/09 09:34 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

The question that you have cannot be answered under the context that it is placed.

You are looking within to find your problem. Remember that peoples perception of you has very equal merit to who you are and how you experience life.

I assume it most likely has to do with the people around you that this relapse occured.

You must relearn everything you knew you had before and depending on the people you let into your heart, you will have to learn this again, multiple times or maybe just once or twice over.

You are reaching a place where you can choose how you feel, with much great ease...you are living in a society where this is something that most people cannot yet have a taste of and in which you must interact for food and shit...take a break and analyze who is with you in your life, their beliefs, perceptions, emotions and actions - see how they support which ever mind state that you wish to maintain and balance.

Life is about fun to me and yes I know what you are experiencing. I too came from this spiritual crap, this have responsibility and see yourself as equal and live happy and be serene and unique and free spirited and etc etc...it just doesn't work towards your happiness, it is useless to whatever you wish to maintain and achieve.


--------------------
if you ever feel lost, just remember, life is not a journey, it is entertainment, all 4 fun...


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRealized
Stranger


Registered: 12/16/08
Posts: 223
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
Re: Am I going insane or what? [Re: AlphaFalfa]
    #10431049 - 05/31/09 05:23 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

AlphaFalfa said:
The question that you have cannot be answered under the context that it is placed.

You are looking within to find your problem. Remember that peoples perception of you has very equal merit to who you are and how you experience life.

I assume it most likely has to do with the people around you that this relapse occured.

You must relearn everything you knew you had before and depending on the people you let into your heart, you will have to learn this again, multiple times or maybe just once or twice over.

You are reaching a place where you can choose how you feel, with much great ease...you are living in a society where this is something that most people cannot yet have a taste of and in which you must interact for food and shit...take a break and analyze who is with you in your life, their beliefs, perceptions, emotions and actions - see how they support which ever mind state that you wish to maintain and balance.

Life is about fun to me and yes I know what you are experiencing. I too came from this spiritual crap, this have responsibility and see yourself as equal and live happy and be serene and unique and free spirited and etc etc...it just doesn't work towards your happiness, it is useless to whatever you wish to maintain and achieve.




Did you ever go on medication? After this last round I am considering it. What are your thoughts on it? and do you know any coping methods to use when it gets unbarable?


--------------------
“The person lives most beautifully who does not reflect upon existence” - Friedrich Nietzsche

"Change my mind so much I can't even trust it. My mind changes me so much I can't even trust myself."

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2  [ show all ]

Shop: Bridgetown Botanicals CBD Concentrates   Myyco.com Golden Teacher Liquid Culture For Sale   PhytoExtractum Kratom Powder for Sale   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   MagicBag.co Certified Organic All-In-One Grow Bags   Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Will I ever find truth? Nairbog 1,546 11 08/28/05 12:02 AM
by BloodNOil
* Communication, Conversation, Insanity, Love, and Drugs Ordep 832 3 01/24/06 06:37 AM
by psyka
* I cant take it anymore. Its driving me Insane. (please read and help)
( 1 2 3 all )
Devil666777 7,168 47 11/11/08 11:10 AM
by memes
* I'm going insane!- Anxiety attacks, Or....?
( 1 2 all )
Christoph teh goat luvr 2,818 27 02/17/06 04:06 PM
by DocPsilocybin
* My Doctor is Fucking Insane!!!
( 1 2 all )
Earth_Droid 5,096 20 05/26/03 01:03 AM
by matts
* Insanity- a luxury I don't deserve monkeybutt 519 0 01/21/05 07:19 AM
by monkeybutt
* The Truth about the Atkins Diet egghead1 943 10 04/12/05 01:38 PM
by discoabe
* Art of Living : Vipassana Meditation bfeverish 1,486 3 03/03/19 03:47 AM
by danish322

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: CherryBom, Rose, mndfreeze, yogabunny, feevers, CookieCrumbs, Northerner
3,197 topic views. 0 members, 0 guests and 7 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.038 seconds spending 0.009 seconds on 15 queries.