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OfflineStrandedVoyager
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What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex?
    #10376204 - 05/21/09 01:01 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

I'm sure this thread is going to get zinged with a lot of stupid attempts at humor but I'm absolutely serious.

What exactly is a normal healthy sex life?

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about sex in relation to psychology and it's profound impact on nearly every element of life. It both intrigues me and saddens me. This question really blew up in my mind when I was having dinner with a dear friend of mine. She began to describe all the sexual practices she's engaged in and all the crazy shit she's done. She's only 21 but she says she's been with over 40 guys. Her stories really kind of fucked my mind up about sex and really made me question why I have fantasies and the entire psychology of it. She kind of indicted the entire male species as pigs and really kind of freaked me out.

Another friend of mine who's 25 (these two don't know each other) related a lot of similar stories and said she had been with some like 20 guys. I've had a lot of friends who were girls and most of them all have similar stories. But the thing is these girls all seem to have a similar psychology where it's almost like they desire to be used. I'm a hardcore voyager in that I hang out with all types of people and really don't discriminate. However, it seems that this sort of psychology is there in varying degrees amongst the entire cross section of women I talk too. It like women have a weird inferiority complex that plays out and directly relates to sex.

I personally am probably the most anti-sexual person there is. I'm 24 and I've been with four girls and I've never really been that into sex. To me it seems like an inordinate expenditure of energy and time to achieve a short high and then your stuck in a uncomfortable relationship pattern with that person. I also think the whole mating process is incredibly degrading and foolish. Watching a guy line up a chick and watching his entire personality change is just utterly bizarre. I also notice that normal function intelligence seems to plummet and that both parties seem to be acting on some kind of weird animalistic instinct. I recently got into a very strange thing where a girl I just met wanted to get intimate and have sex and I just wasn't down with that. I wound up pawning her off on one of my friends. But this is what began the train of thought for me. Also I have a clothing line now and one of the main complaints I get is that it isn't "sexy" enough.

Let me say though I have absolutely nothing against sex or the people who engage, I'm just saying I don't understand it. 

So really why is sticking your dick in a chick such an intense addiction, the cataclysm for billions of dollars of advertising, and if you believe Freud the underlying motivator for every action we take?

Why aren't these things talked about more? I find it utterly fascinating and kind of upsetting that these subjects are so taboo.


--------------------
Hi  :scrambled:

My god... it's full of stars...

Edited by StrandedVoyager (05/21/09 01:06 PM)

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InvisibleCameron
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: StrandedVoyager]
    #10376231 - 05/21/09 01:07 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Sex is our number one priority after basic survival, otherwise we wouldn't be here :shrug:

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InvisibleLe_Canard
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: Cameron]
    #10376318 - 05/21/09 01:24 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Yes, it's kind of hard to get around it, due to it being "hardwired" into our brains. Some just have a stronger urge than others.

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OfflineRyden
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: Le_Canard]
    #10376370 - 05/21/09 01:32 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Exactly, it's hardwired. Just like any other being in nature, our true purpose besides survival is reproduction. We have just evolved to the point where it appears to be more than just a basic instinct (courtship, dating, personality), but when it comes down to it, all it is, is instinct. We must reproduce not only for survival but passing down our own genetic data has also become a part of the game and will only intensify I believe.

But to answer your question of what a normal healthy sex life is, that's different for most people I'm sure. To me, sex is a vital part of a relationship. Like I said, we've evolved past the basic instinct and turned it into something more intimate, more meaningful than savage sex in your cave. Sex should be represented as something more than just a tool for reproduction. Something like a closeness to your partner that is exclusive. People have different feelings for sex, and that's okay.

Because when it all comes down to it:

Sex is sex.


--------------------

"See, I think drugs have done some *good* things for us, I really do. And if you don’t believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a Favor: go home tonight and take all your albums, all your tapes, and all your cd’s and burn em’. 'Cause you know what? The musicians who’ve made all that great music that’s enhanced your lives throughout the years...
Rrrrrrrrrrrrreal fuckin' high on drugs."
--Bill Hicks

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OfflineStrandedVoyager
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: Ryden]
    #10376389 - 05/21/09 01:35 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

I understand that it's hard-wired, I just wonder how and why it comes out of our psyches, the different approaches and psychology of men and women, and why it goes into such detrimental places for individuals.


--------------------
Hi  :scrambled:

My god... it's full of stars...

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OfflineRyden
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: StrandedVoyager]
    #10376440 - 05/21/09 01:43 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

We're way more complex than any other being on Earth. Nothing in our psyche is simple, and sex sure isn't. With the new factors of competition among men and women that has come with the evolution of mankind (like previously stated, looks, personality, extra-curricular things, etc), we have to be more cunning to get what we want, or need. That's really the only way I can put it. It's not as easy as "alpha male" gets the girl. Nowadays one who would be considered the alpha male can be shown up by one who could be considered greatly inferior to him. By personality, charm, manipulation, we all must use some strain of these things to prevail in our never ending quest to mate. We must do what we can to come on top. As we grow, things change, and we must adapt. That's what this is.

Sexual adaptation.


--------------------

"See, I think drugs have done some *good* things for us, I really do. And if you don’t believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a Favor: go home tonight and take all your albums, all your tapes, and all your cd’s and burn em’. 'Cause you know what? The musicians who’ve made all that great music that’s enhanced your lives throughout the years...
Rrrrrrrrrrrrreal fuckin' high on drugs."
--Bill Hicks

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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: Le_Canard]
    #10376506 - 05/21/09 01:53 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

ToiletDuk said:
Yes, it's kind of hard to get around it, due to it being "hardwired" into our brains. Some just have a stronger urge than others.




my urge exists par non, maybe because im in a relationship for 3 years now,
my girl actually threatens me to stop taking the pill because i only give it to her like twice a month ..

imho i just need a new girl for sex to become really interesting again.


--------------------
:penis: MONOTUB tek :sun: HEATBOMB tek :penis:

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OfflineRyden
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: ohmatic]
    #10376689 - 05/21/09 02:28 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

ohmatic said:

my urge exists par non, maybe because im in a relationship for 3 years now,
my girl actually threatens me to stop taking the pill because i only give it to her like twice a month ..

imho i just need a new girl for sex to become really interesting again.




For our next topic: When Sex Becomes a Chore


--------------------

"See, I think drugs have done some *good* things for us, I really do. And if you don’t believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a Favor: go home tonight and take all your albums, all your tapes, and all your cd’s and burn em’. 'Cause you know what? The musicians who’ve made all that great music that’s enhanced your lives throughout the years...
Rrrrrrrrrrrrreal fuckin' high on drugs."
--Bill Hicks

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Offlineskatealex2
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: Ryden]
    #10376747 - 05/21/09 02:43 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

I personally think it is a little absurd how much effort people put into getting laid...................... but the drive for sex can be pretty strong as I am experiencing as a 21 year old- I gotta go drinking one of these nights though :wink:

I personally would rather get high then spend all day trying to get  pussy :bongroll:

I think normal sex life would be best had with a girlfriend :suicide: but not if that means you change your whole personality because of it

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OfflineStrandedVoyager
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: skatealex2]
    #10376856 - 05/21/09 03:02 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

You and I are kind of in same boat. All the parties I've been too with all the drugs and alcohol were really just mating spots... but I was there for the drugs... :lol:

But it's kind of strange that you guys don't even really have to put words to it to describe your answers to my questions.

What are the limits to sex? How far would you go for it? What does it do for you on a personal level? Would you pay for it or get paid for it?


--------------------
Hi  :scrambled:

My god... it's full of stars...

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InvisibleKrishna
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: StrandedVoyager]
    #10376864 - 05/21/09 03:03 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

at least once a day, sometimes twice.

:thumbup:


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InvisibleKukaracha
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: Ryden]
    #10377065 - 05/21/09 03:36 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

I have to say I'm quite fascinated by it too.

I mean, putting my dick in a vagina, my stick in a hole, that's basically what it's all about. Sor raw, so simple!

But it feels odd until I give away any logic or sophistication; it is only when I give in instincts that sex becomes natural. And I don't like that, it's like losing a part of me. Like peeling your skin, not being naked but... skinless?

I feel kind of powerless when I see that I acted like a robot. My thoughts are completely different after masturbating, for example. My fantaisies appear with a whole new look, they come with consequences, sometimes with disgust, or disappointment, while before satisfying my desires, everything is much simpler and... sexual.

To answer honestly to your question, I don't know; but I'm still young, though.

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OfflineRocker232
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: Kukaracha]
    #10377103 - 05/21/09 03:42 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Sex is great. I am confused as to why others would see it differently. Sex does suck until you understand what you are doing though. Reaching climax with the one you love at the same time is a feeling like no other. Its better than any drug or any other experience.


--------------------
With Allure I Look to the Sky With Awakened Eyes

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OfflineStrandedVoyager
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: Rocker232]
    #10377145 - 05/21/09 03:48 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

I guess what tripped me out is I've now had a couple of these girls talk about prostitution. Some have engaged in it and some talk about it almost poetically like it's an answer to their problems. The ones who've engaged in it, to hear their perspective of men and sex through their eyes just threw the whole thing out of whack to me and made the entire process seem so sleazy, dirty, and a manifestation of one's own problems or at the least one's own quirks. They describe in such animalistic terms, predator prey and all that goes along with that. You all are dudes who've replied so far in this thread so far and a lot of you have similar views.


--------------------
Hi  :scrambled:

My god... it's full of stars...

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OfflineRyden
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: StrandedVoyager]
    #10377165 - 05/21/09 03:51 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Tell me about their perspective. I'm interested.


--------------------

"See, I think drugs have done some *good* things for us, I really do. And if you don’t believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a Favor: go home tonight and take all your albums, all your tapes, and all your cd’s and burn em’. 'Cause you know what? The musicians who’ve made all that great music that’s enhanced your lives throughout the years...
Rrrrrrrrrrrrreal fuckin' high on drugs."
--Bill Hicks

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InvisibleKrishna
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: Rocker232]
    #10377205 - 05/21/09 03:58 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Rocker232 said:
Sex is great. I am confused as to why others would see it differently. Sex does suck until you understand what you are doing though. Reaching climax with the one you love at the same time is a feeling like no other. Its better than any drug or any other experience.




qft.


--------------------



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OfflineStrandedVoyager
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: Ryden]
    #10377265 - 05/21/09 04:10 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

I'll give you three perspectives

The first one wants to become a high class prostitute or get a sugar daddy because she's in debt. She thinks that becoming a prostitute is somewhat glamourous and almost like doing a public service. She says she would get with lonely awkward old men and give them her services for the evening. She equates it to a character in some Sci-Fi show where in their culture prostitutes are highly respected members of society who get men in touch with their sexuality. Her whole thing sounded rather naive and not really in reality.

The second one was heavy into drugs and slept with a man nearly three times her age frequently to make the cheddar. She said she really didn't care and that to her it was just about the money. She also said she would sleep with virtually any guy because it she said she just wanted to feel wanted. The thing that's amazing about to me is that this is one of most beautiful girls I've ever met and she's extremely intelligent and creative. Her client was getting thrown out of his home because he couldn't stop spending money on young drugged out girls. I asked her what the psychology of him was and why this whole thing played out and she said she thought it was because she thought everyone had suffered sexual traumas in their pasts. However, girls seem to want to become victims and guys want to be the predator or the aggressor. Her descriptions of all this (which I'm not doing justice too) and how all of this played out really fucked with my head and has been on my mind ever since.

The third one was the most Christian straight girl I knew in high school. In fact we hated each other because of it (I was a pretty rambunctious atheist druggie) however as time progressed she flipped into being an adult model and descending into several extremely weird sexual communities. I've known a ton of girls like that (I went to a religious school) who completely flipped around 18 or 19. Her descriptions of the adult entertainment world and how it works as a business just rather trip me out.


--------------------
Hi  :scrambled:

My god... it's full of stars...

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InvisiblePyroBurns
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: StrandedVoyager]
    #10377434 - 05/21/09 04:35 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Even though she's a little crazy, I tend to agree with Alexyss Tylor that "dick will make you slap somebody".



--------------------
Remember to cut your nails regularly.


Edited by PyroBurns (05/21/09 04:37 PM)

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Offlineskatealex2
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: Rocker232]
    #10377640 - 05/21/09 05:02 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Rocker232 said:
Sex is great. I am confused as to why others would see it differently. Sex does suck until you understand what you are doing though. Reaching climax with the one you love at the same time is a feeling like no other. Its better than any drug or any other experience.




First gotta find love :shrug:

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OfflineRyden
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: StrandedVoyager]
    #10377912 - 05/21/09 05:50 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

To answer your questions (sorry for the delay, had a debate for like 3 hours):

As far as limits are, I'm not too sure what you mean so if you could rephrase that I'd be happy to answer it to the best of my ability.

How far would I go for sex? There's two types of sex I consider in my life. Meaningless sex and true love, intimate sex. In the past I've had those meaningless sexual encounters because I wasn't looking for a dedicated relationship. I was just out for pleasure, which is another form of evolution - sex isn't meant for just pleasure, but we still have it for that sole reason sometimes. Because of that, it's not much to be worked for in my book, so I wouldn't go too far for it. But as far as intimate sex with your partner that you love, I'm sure at that point you wouldn't really HAVE to go far to have sex, it would probably  be somewhat routine by then.

On a personal level it brings a sense of closeness with that individual (in terms of intimacy) and a sense of being one as if there is no one else but us at that very moment. But with meaningless, it doesn't mean anything to me. Half the time I want it to be over faster haha. The whole hit it and quit it lifestyle isn't always awesome.

I would NEVER pay for sex, it's not that important to me. I would never be paid either, because I'm not that big of a slut haha.


--------------------

"See, I think drugs have done some *good* things for us, I really do. And if you don’t believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a Favor: go home tonight and take all your albums, all your tapes, and all your cd’s and burn em’. 'Cause you know what? The musicians who’ve made all that great music that’s enhanced your lives throughout the years...
Rrrrrrrrrrrrreal fuckin' high on drugs."
--Bill Hicks

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OfflinePDU
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: Ryden]
    #10378538 - 05/21/09 08:32 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

What are the limits to sex?




I dont think there are many. Its universal throughout the animal kingdom, gay/straight and all ethnicities.

In humans probably every type of sex that could be imagined, has been done.

Quote:


How far would you go for it?




Id take time out of my day to pursue sexual adventures with someone i cared about. Other than that, i could give a shit. In my life, right now, after a long term relationship, being single and sex free is fantastic.

Quote:


What does it do for you on a personal level?




immense stimulus rush.

Sex acts as a distraction from the important things. imo

Quote:

Would you pay for it or get paid for it?




No.

_____________________________________________________

Sex is over-rated.


--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.

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Offlinedemonicaeroponic
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Re: What is a normal healthy sex life? What is the nature of sex? [Re: PDU]
    #10379919 - 05/22/09 02:28 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

didn't read all the posts, to original post, here is my take at sex:

1. Everyone is hard-wired to reproduce, which leads to..
2. Everyone wants to be accepted, some more than others.
3. If your a good flirt but a bad friend, you end up flirting a lot because..
4. You fear rejection, and every cute girl is possible acceptance if you're a good looking guy.
5. I've been in a relationship for over a year and a half now, and me and my girl fucked for 4 hours yesterday. We probably have sex 3 times a week because I work and go to college full time. When I don't have college it's more like 5 times a week. When I was unemployed and had only a few classes, it was every god damn day twice a day.
6. Sex is amazing when BOTH parties love and lust eachother, and brings you closer every time. (unless you suck in bed, then it creates issues.)
7. Not every person physically matches, i've had relationships where the girl wasn't good enough in bed, and it showed in the relationship. my current girlfriend rocks my socks and I get her into the double digits half the time we fuck, and our relationship has almost zero tension because of the constant euphoria we share together, that allows us to realize whenever a conflict is starting that it won't matter tomorrow that I didn't like her shoes today (gay example).
8. You have no life if you're still reading by number 8.
9. HA. (fin)


--------------------
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