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OfflineMonkah
abreactionsynchronicity
Registered: 08/26/01
Posts: 179
Loc: location? i exist somwher...
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
my first and last hunt
    #1034679 - 11/08/02 02:32 AM (14 years, 30 days ago)

when i was about 16
i discovered alot of things about myself
i had all the time in the world
one thing that was peculiar to my mind
was twitching.
i would go through phases where my muscles would spasm without my consent
when sitting uncomfortable i would twitch
but in a semi voluntary manner
i would start to move but stop
i would want to move but my thought would side track
and id be left blank
all in a matter of split second

this puzzled me
So i set out to watch over myself
stalk the process like i was unfathomably hungry
hungry for a cause

i twitched in mid thought
like an electric shock
my thoughts erased

quick! grab the thief!

unfortunately for you
i set up a camera
a snapshot
triggered by memory loss

your caught.

youve been stealing my feelings!
youve been keeping me from knowing my every thought that commands

and thus i learned to be more relaxed

it gave me power though
how?
cause i could see it in others too
it was like a math equation equivalent to all
eventually i burned to dust

well it ended up that was the very first time i ever remember stalking myself
and actually accomplishing the hunt
i was that much closer to finding myself

have you ever seen a light?
through the trees
very far away
just a shinny spec
maybe at someones house through the woods?
maybe when looking at stars
you thought to have seen one
but looking in its direction
it not longer is?
or maybe on the power box of a building on someone elses house
or in another neighborhood

just a small spec of light with a shinny gloss

well that is the only way i could explain what im stalking now

i see little specs light up in milla second flashs
burst and fade as if electric wires shorting out
they throw me off
and i always look to where there ssource came from
only to see them no longer
only a faint hue where they protruded through my vision

maybe its a trigger
when it flashs
it does something peculiar
that im not quite glimpsing the whole of
yet.

or maybe

im just really crazy to you people.

id say. you couldnt understand
but you do.

when i look at an object i seem to look more at whats in my mind
than whats really there.
disillusioned creatively

cause whats really there?
nothings there. everything is what you make of it

so said the liar..
to keep him from admitting to himself
hes a liar and needs change

i once was in a car
that turned onto a one way 3 lane highway
not paying attention the driver speed up going strait at 3 cars
all withing a very close distance of each other
i yelled.
we pulled to the side quickly
i cried.

because i knew that moment i had been in the wrong this whole time

i was trying to drive against life
trying to dress shit up as a golden ray
my mind was too full of trash
and i was mearly acting the innocent fool
letting myself slip through the cracks
into an undesirable hell

i had to cleanse
and feel the real golden rays
im only now glimpsing the morning break

those storys with morals werent just kids passifiers
those fairy tales werent just from our imagination

synchroneities
a bitch


(this was an old writting i decided to share, i havent been at a computer to put anything up lately but hopefully i will. i have surpased my limits from this old writting although trying to comprehend where i stand now is like trying to eat grass with your toes... ...)



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*NEW!* from Monkah Inc.The "Silence game" hold an exhilerating game between you and a friend,see who finds silence first! (warning:M. Inc. patented silence-in-its-self,failure to pay up will result in sending satan after you! err,we mean our laywer!)


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OfflineAdamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/24/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
Re: my first and last hunt [Re: Monkah]
    #1040790 - 11/10/02 01:18 PM (14 years, 27 days ago)

Have you ever read any Aleister Crowley?


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OfflineMonkah
abreactionsynchronicity
Registered: 08/26/01
Posts: 179
Loc: location? i exist somwher...
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: my first and last hunt [Re: Adamist]
    #1040825 - 11/10/02 01:33 PM (14 years, 27 days ago)



actualy.. i havent.

i usualy figure things out on my own through occurances.
then read them later in a book.
sometimes the same exact thing.

it makes me giggle an get warmth glows.

most of everything i read now i can relate to an occurance.

the probability of me reading something of his, and not knowing it was him
is fairly high.

why do you ask?


--------------------
*NEW!* from Monkah Inc.The "Silence game" hold an exhilerating game between you and a friend,see who finds silence first! (warning:M. Inc. patented silence-in-its-self,failure to pay up will result in sending satan after you! err,we mean our laywer!)


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OfflineAdamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/24/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
Re: my first and last hunt [Re: Monkah]
    #1040836 - 11/10/02 01:37 PM (14 years, 27 days ago)

Your style reminds me of his work... specifically "The Book of Lies".


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Invisiblechodamunky
Cheers!

Registered: 02/28/02
Posts: 2,030
Loc: sailing the seas of chees...
Re: my first and last hunt [Re: Monkah]
    #1041840 - 11/10/02 10:51 PM (14 years, 27 days ago)

twitching = muscle spasms. i get them too in the eye lids, legs etc
specs of light = standing up too fast?

i really liked your writing. nice work



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OfflineTeKn0
†hè
Male User Gallery

Registered: 08/30/02
Posts: 801
Loc: ŵįţĥįń ? ?ŧąţĩ...
Last seen: 5 months, 28 days
Re: my first and last hunt [Re: chodamunky]
    #1042250 - 11/11/02 02:27 AM (14 years, 27 days ago)

Cool,
I think its something that people with ADD get, you know those twitches that seem to grab your attention and cause you to lose your concentration and those slight lights that seems to steal your thoughts. I think it's natural hunter inside of you grabbing that slightest details of your environment.
Yet it gets stronger, and you see things that dont seem real, but perhaps they are real and we are the people who may first obseve this phenomenon?

Or maybe I'm crazy  :crazy: 


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Listen, or your tongue will keep you deaf. :wink:
ŦēҜй? - ??ĜįĈ?? ҒűČҝĮńĜ ?đVǻŃčЄмЄńŦ


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InvisibleZero7a1
Leaving YourWasteland

Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
Loc: Passing Cloud
Re: my first and last hunt [Re: TeKn0]
    #1042772 - 11/11/02 10:01 AM (14 years, 26 days ago)

well that would mean im crazy too, and its pretty odd we all seem to be in tune with the 'phenomenon' . i was laying down last night and theres was this light on the side of my brain... or my eyes when i closed them. there were no other lights on just when i layed down there was this turquoise white light. and when you tried to concentrate on it or focus on it it would go away, relent and it would surface. when i was little i would these bright flashes of light almost like lightning in pure daylight without clouds. i know of the spots everyone sees i dont know what the hell that is. yeah my mom and some doctors thought i had add... and i cant really pay attention to a lot of things. but i dont think i would be able to do and to think as much as i did if i had a real problem... maybe ADD isnt a problem... i dont know lol  :smile:


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What?


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OfflineTeKn0
†hè
Male User Gallery

Registered: 08/30/02
Posts: 801
Loc: ŵįţĥįń ? ?ŧąţĩ...
Last seen: 5 months, 28 days
Re: my first and last hunt [Re: Zero7a1]
    #1043722 - 11/11/02 04:19 PM (14 years, 26 days ago)

ADD isn't a problem; it?s just a natural adaptation, so I believe.
Every young person and their dog has ADD now, you notice?


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Listen, or your tongue will keep you deaf. :wink:
ŦēҜй? - ??ĜįĈ?? ҒűČҝĮńĜ ?đVǻŃčЄмЄńŦ


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OfflineAdamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/24/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
Re: my first and last hunt [Re: TeKn0]
    #1043742 - 11/11/02 04:26 PM (14 years, 26 days ago)

Yep.


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OfflineMurex
Reality Hacker

Registered: 07/28/02
Posts: 3,599
Loc: Traped in a shell.
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
Re: my first and last hunt [Re: TeKn0]
    #1043750 - 11/11/02 04:27 PM (14 years, 26 days ago)

It could be rods.



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What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is it all you want it to be?



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