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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
Posts: 4,971
this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia
    #10305824 - 05/08/09 12:13 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

So my girlfriend of almost a year tells me earlier that while she was waiting for me at home where I live with said friend and his wife, apparently the "friend" asked her if she wanted to hook up, was lingering and stealing glances, and generally seemed preoccupied with fucking my girlfriend. I believe she didn't, I believe her but part of me is TERRIFIED that they could be doing this behind my back and I could be blind to it. Trust issues are definitely up for debate in my mind right now even though I trust her endlessly..I know my friend has cheated on his wife and I can only guess how good he's gotten at hiding it from everyone. He's been with his wife for 3+ years and has expressed some serious frustration in it occasionally, and my girlfriend is gorgeous as well as inviting


fuck my life
:nonono::sad::wtf:

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Offlinetripp23
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10305842 - 05/08/09 12:16 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

i really hate those situations.. they freakin blow.. then like 3 months later, you finally find out its true..


Quote:

fuck my life :nonono::sad::wtf:





i feel ya on that...


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Experience my nightmarish first time of smoking Ganja!


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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: tripp23]
    #10305854 - 05/08/09 12:18 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

tripp23 said:
i really hate those situations.. they freakin blow.. then like 3 months later, you finally find out its true..


Quote:

fuck my life :nonono::sad::wtf:





i feel ya on that...



I really hope I'm wrong. All I can do is have faith man this would be such a killer blow though I love this girl to no end

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Offlinetripp23
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10305878 - 05/08/09 12:24 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

good luck. im still stuck in an unheathy relationship cuz we both dont know what we want and it really sucks. anyways, keep your eyes out. if you get the first hint, time to make a change in your life. as hard as it may seem to find somebody else, it has to be done. every1 has to do it but take your time. just keep a really sharp eye man, do NOT fall for any of their bullshit lies.. if you believe the lies, your screwed of never getting out of it.. i hope the best for you man, honestly i do. relationships really suck..


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Experience my nightmarish first time of smoking Ganja!


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Offlinetpihkal
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: tripp23]
    #10305893 - 05/08/09 12:30 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Get rid of her, dump that shit now and if she realizes it's a fuck up she'll come back, then you can deal with it as you see fit...


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OfflinePowerTrip
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10305957 - 05/08/09 12:55 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

I think you're leaving something out, OP.  You clearly have some doubts about her integrity, or at least some reason to make you feel like you can't trust her.

In my experience, if you have any doubt in a girl's character, you shouldn't be with her.  Wondering what she's up to when you aren't around can drive you literally insane.

As someone who has been there before, I can only assume you wont be ending the relationship.


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I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: PowerTrip]
    #10305978 - 05/08/09 01:02 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

I wouldn't end it. I believe she was more of a girl when I met her but has become my woman after being together for a while and I actually do trust her a great deal. I'm not going to entertain paranoia it has no place, I'd always give her the benefit of the doubt. If I were to catch them or find out, that's a whole different story.

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OfflineDarkMoon21
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10306012 - 05/08/09 01:12 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

I think the fact that she told you about it is a good thing, it's the friend that you should do something about. Hitting on a friend's girl is not fucking cool. Anyone who's commited such a blatant act of disrespect has gotten a very VERY firm shitkicking.

If you didn't live with the guy I'd advise straight up breaking his face, as it is I'd say at least talking to him about it would be a wise course of action, but don't get his wife involved unless he's an asshole about the situation, give him a chance to handle it honourably.


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-=-Never Sigh For Better World
It's Already Composed
Played And Told-=-

Science gives a consistent how with an incomplete why.
Faith gives an inconsistent how with a complete why.

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Invisiblefilthee
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: DarkMoon21]
    #10306234 - 05/08/09 02:20 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

DarkMoon21 said:
I think the fact that she told you about it is a good thing, it's the friend that you should do something about. Hitting on a friend's girl is not fucking cool. Anyone who's commited such a blatant act of disrespect has gotten a very VERY firm shitkicking.

If you didn't live with the guy I'd advise straight up breaking his face, as it is I'd say at least talking to him about it would be a wise course of action, but don't get his wife involved unless he's an asshole about the situation, give him a chance to handle it honourably.




i agree but instead of breaking the guys face i'd let his wife know,then maybe break his face

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OfflineKetamineKatalyst
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: filthee]
    #10312753 - 05/09/09 12:54 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Yeah seems to me it's something you should first take up with said friend. Other than that all I can say is :goodluck:


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"Cosmic Love is absolutely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lilly


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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: KetamineKatalyst]
    #10362384 - 05/19/09 01:37 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

UPDATE


there's a part 2 to this story. So tonight my girl gives me a call and tells me that basically my suspicions were true and my "friend" really did ask if she wanted to hook up and tried to go fishing with her through a text tonight...so I wrote him this "friendly" letter. It's somewhat of a complicated situation, but basically it involves my married friend trying to fuck my girlfriend of 1 year.








here's the letter.

I really don’t know how to begin this. I guess I’ll just start by saying I was incredibly surprised to hear what Adriana told me tonight. Some weeks ago she told me you asked her to hook up and was just generally being a creepy piece of shit to her while you two were alone and I was out working. Then tonight I get a phone call from her and she forwards a text to me that you sent to her along the lines of “sucks I didn’t try to hook up with you”. What the fuck is wrong with you? You’re married! If you respected our friendship which you clearly don’t you would never try to go fishing for my girl and assume it wouldn’t burn bridges. And if you knew a fucking thing about being in love you’d realize she’s the only thing I have in this fucking world. At first I didn’t want to say anything because we’ve been friends for a long time and I felt there was a strong mutual trust there – clearly I was mistaken. Thanks for making this awkward tension and putting me in such a shitty position. Additionally because I didn’t feel like setting up more problems for myself making it hostile in the house and forcing me to leave I remained silent. What hypocrisy, you tell me I have to leave because it’d be weird I’d be around Kristina with you up in Alaska? I’ve never had a THOUGHT of fucking around with your wife. You’re alone with my girlfriend for 5 hours and ask her to hook up. Fuck you buddy. I’d really love to give you the benefit of the doubt here but I feel like you have enough common sense to realize you were playing with fire and crossing the fucking line. Hope it was worth it. If you feel like your nymphomania can’t be contained and you have to resort to trying to cheat on your wife and fuck my girlfriend, then I see no reason to continue trusting you or being friends with you in any shape or form. If you feel I’m overreacting, or feel like our friendship is worth saving, I’d love to hear why.

Go fuck yourself

-Luke

p.s. I’m sending a copy of this to Kristina. See ya around backstabbing asshole



Edited by blkjkrabbit (05/19/09 01:47 AM)

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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10362391 - 05/19/09 01:41 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

comments are appreciated - i'm pretty much 100% certain he was fishing to fuck my girl. nothing actually happened, but the fact he was trying is enough to break my friendship:justdontknow: :kingcrankey:

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OfflineOjom
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10362392 - 05/19/09 01:41 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Nice thread title. I like your avatar too...

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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: Ojom]
    #10362396 - 05/19/09 01:43 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

thanks dude - any comments on my letter? i mean i feel like it's pretty black and white and i'd be doing myself a disservice for not saying anything this time. he needs to know he crossed the line

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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10362397 - 05/19/09 01:44 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Solid letter


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OfflineOjom
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: Shroomism]
    #10362424 - 05/19/09 01:57 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

I'm a bit confused about your current living situation. Are you still living with this guy, or have you now found another place to stay?

And yes, it would seem he has been trying to sleep with your girlfriend.

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InvisiblePhish_Dude
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: Shroomism]
    #10362433 - 05/19/09 02:01 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomism said:
Solid letter



I hope this makes him think twice about cheating on his wife, though I doubt it. But it will make him think twice about fucking your girl.:thumbup:


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InvisibleKlondike
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10362436 - 05/19/09 02:02 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Who is Kristina?

Edit - OK, re-read it. Kristina is his wife.

My only comment is, don't send a copy to Kristina. That is needlessly involving her in your issue with your friend, and using her to get back at your friend. In the process, you will hurt her tremendously.

If you are aware of infidelity in another relationship, the question of whether to tell the innocent party about the infidelity is fraught with complications. My feeling is that you should only get involved in informing the innocent party if you are an extremely close friend to that person, and even then I'm not so sure.

Even if you are an extremely close friend to this person, informing them should always be done in person. Sending a copy of your letter to Kristina is about the worst way she could ever find out about her husband's infidelity.

Think very carefully about why you want to send a copy of this lette to Kristina. Is it really because you care for her and think she should know? Or is it your way of getting revenge on your friend?

You have been victimized here. Don't compound that victimization and don't use innocent people and their feelings as a means of fulfilling your desire for vengeance.

Edited by Klondike (05/19/09 02:11 AM)

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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: Klondike]
    #10362464 - 05/19/09 02:19 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Klondike said:
Who is Kristina?

Edit - OK, re-read it. Kristina is his wife.

My only comment is, don't send a copy to Kristina. That is needlessly involving her in your issue with your friend, and using her to get back at your friend. In the process, you will hurt her tremendously.

If you are aware of infidelity in another relationship, the question of whether to tell the innocent party about the infidelity is fraught with complications. My feeling is that you should only get involved in informing the innocent party if you are an extremely close friend to that person, and even then I'm not so sure.

Even if you are an extremely close friend to this person, informing them should always be done in person. Sending a copy of your letter to Kristina is about the worst way she could ever find out about her husband's infidelity.

Think very carefully about why you want to send a copy of this lette to Kristina. Is it really because you care for her and think she should know? Or is it your way of getting revenge on your friend?

You have been victimized here. Don't compound that victimization and don't use innocent people and their feelings as a means of fulfilling your desire for vengeance.




Actually, I really believe that this is important for her to know. I believe I'd rather be told the ugly naked truth and suffer the heartache than be in the dark while my husband went out and cheated on me. I hear your concerns, but I feel that it's important for her to understand what her husband has done and who EXACTLY it is she married. That's just my opinion. At the same time, I really do want vengeance. I want him to hurt like I've hurt over this.

I feel like donalbain of macbeth - there's daggers in men's smiles :thumbdown:

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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: Ojom]
    #10362470 - 05/19/09 02:20 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Ojom said:
I'm a bit confused about your current living situation. Are you still living with this guy, or have you now found another place to stay?

And yes, it would seem he has been trying to sleep with your girlfriend.




He is leaving for Alaska for 5 months tomorrow morning. I haven't found a place yet, but I actually don't care if I end up living in my car or going to a motel. This is just too fucked up to be here anymore. I'm going to call my parents and try to move back in with them temporarily while I figure this out and send the letter to them both after I've left so it doesn't get ugly.

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InvisiblePhish_Dude
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10362477 - 05/19/09 02:23 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

blkjkrabbit said:
Quote:

Klondike said:
Who is Kristina?

Edit - OK, re-read it. Kristina is his wife.

My only comment is, don't send a copy to Kristina. That is needlessly involving her in your issue with your friend, and using her to get back at your friend. In the process, you will hurt her tremendously.

If you are aware of infidelity in another relationship, the question of whether to tell the innocent party about the infidelity is fraught with complications. My feeling is that you should only get involved in informing the innocent party if you are an extremely close friend to that person, and even then I'm not so sure.

Even if you are an extremely close friend to this person, informing them should always be done in person. Sending a copy of your letter to Kristina is about the worst way she could ever find out about her husband's infidelity.

Think very carefully about why you want to send a copy of this lette to Kristina. Is it really because you care for her and think she should know? Or is it your way of getting revenge on your friend?

You have been victimized here. Don't compound that victimization and don't use innocent people and their feelings as a means of fulfilling your desire for vengeance.




Actually, I really believe that this is important for her to know. I believe I'd rather be told the ugly naked truth and suffer the heartache than be in the dark while my husband went out and cheated on me. I hear your concerns, but I feel that it's important for her to understand what her husband has done and who EXACTLY it is she married. That's just my opinion. At the same time, I really do want vengeance. I want him to hurt like I've hurt over this.

I feel like donalbain of macbeth - there's daggers in men's smiles :thumbdown:



Its a really touchy subject, but I agree that its best if she finds out. He would just keep cheating until she found out herself one day. Its better for her to get over him now instead of dragging it out longer than needed.


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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10362480 - 05/19/09 02:23 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

does anyone think it would be too extreme to pack up my shit tonight and sleep in my car or go to a friends til i get a place situated? i really, really don't want to be here anymore. I'm fucking pissed about this

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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: Phish_Dude]
    #10362484 - 05/19/09 02:25 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Phish_Dude said:
Quote:

blkjkrabbit said:
Quote:

Klondike said:
Who is Kristina?

Edit - OK, re-read it. Kristina is his wife.

My only comment is, don't send a copy to Kristina. That is needlessly involving her in your issue with your friend, and using her to get back at your friend. In the process, you will hurt her tremendously.

If you are aware of infidelity in another relationship, the question of whether to tell the innocent party about the infidelity is fraught with complications. My feeling is that you should only get involved in informing the innocent party if you are an extremely close friend to that person, and even then I'm not so sure.

Even if you are an extremely close friend to this person, informing them should always be done in person. Sending a copy of your letter to Kristina is about the worst way she could ever find out about her husband's infidelity.

Think very carefully about why you want to send a copy of this lette to Kristina. Is it really because you care for her and think she should know? Or is it your way of getting revenge on your friend?

You have been victimized here. Don't compound that victimization and don't use innocent people and their feelings as a means of fulfilling your desire for vengeance.




Actually, I really believe that this is important for her to know. I believe I'd rather be told the ugly naked truth and suffer the heartache than be in the dark while my husband went out and cheated on me. I hear your concerns, but I feel that it's important for her to understand what her husband has done and who EXACTLY it is she married. That's just my opinion. At the same time, I really do want vengeance. I want him to hurt like I've hurt over this.

I feel like donalbain of macbeth - there's daggers in men's smiles :thumbdown:



Its a really touchy subject, but I agree that its best if she finds out. He would just keep cheating until she found out herself one day. Its better for her to get over him now instead of dragging it out longer than needed.




exactly! She needs to know about this. I don't fucking care if I ruin their marriage he was trying to consciously ruin the one fucking thing I have in this world :nonono:

Edited by blkjkrabbit (05/19/09 02:25 AM)

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InvisibleAdden
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10362502 - 05/19/09 02:29 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

If you don't wanna be there man, go.

Just make sure the pack-up-and-go process doesn't turn into a domestic dispute. That shit can get ugly fast.

Calmly get your stuff and peace out. :shrug:


Sounds like you know what you've gotta do. Follow your heart. If it's healthier not to be there, don't be there.


Best of luck with all of this.

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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: Adden]
    #10362513 - 05/19/09 02:34 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Dystopia said:
If you don't wanna be there man, go.

Just make sure the pack-up-and-go process doesn't turn into a domestic dispute. That shit can get ugly fast.

Calmly get your stuff and peace out. :shrug:


Sounds like you know what you've gotta do. Follow your heart. If it's healthier not to be there, don't be there.


Best of luck with all of this.




good call man. i think i'll get some sleep and get my shit together n start packing when they leave for the airport n just send the letter via facebook and leave one behind for kristina. i'm sure it'll stir up shit with them like a beehive and frankly i don't give a fuck i've lost a lot of sleep over this and am ready to fucking fight

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InvisiblePhish_Dude
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10362515 - 05/19/09 02:34 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

You are not ruining their marriage, he ruined it already. If anything you are helping her, maybe you will get a lil booty as a thanks, maybe.;)


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InvisibleKlondike
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10362520 - 05/19/09 02:37 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

blkjkrabbit said:


exactly! She needs to know about this. I don't fucking care if I ruin their marriage he was trying to consciously ruin the one fucking thing I have in this world :nonono:




You aren't thinking this through. The moment you tell her this you are ending her marriage for all intents and purposes. At that moment her world is going to come crashing down all around her, and she is going to feel extremely isolated and alone. That is why it needs to be a close friend, because she is going to need someone to hug her and console her for hours when she finds out. Women react to cheating in a very different way than men do. Men get angry and violent, women get sad and feel hopeless and undesirable.

Are you prepared to hold Kristina all night and let her cry on your shoulder? Do you even know her all that well?

For you to reveal to her that her marriage is over in the form of an email, out of spite towards her husband, is almost as evil as the original actions of her husband. You are too angry right now to see how cruel that really is.

It is not your place, nor is it your right, to "ruin their marriage" via email. And the husband's actions do not impact on that.

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InvisibleAdden
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10362525 - 05/19/09 02:39 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Nah, I wouldn't recommend stepping outside the authority of your own being to infringe upon the rights of other peoples' autonomy, and thus, the decisions made by them.

The best you can do is keep whatever is within the realm of your control and keep your head. Involving yourself in the affairs of others - such as stirring up problems when you're gone, and in such a passive manner - is disrespectful.

In a normal situation, it would be outside of your regular behavior, I imagine.

There are battles to be won by fighting; some of the most victorious ones are best left unfought.

Frankly, an unnecessary waste of your emotion and well-being.

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InvisibleAdden
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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: Klondike]
    #10362527 - 05/19/09 02:40 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Nice post, K.

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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: Adden]
    #10362541 - 05/19/09 02:44 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

I am letting my emotions get the best of me - but I've never felt so incredibly betrayed. I am actually pretty good friends with Kristina and I am concerned for her I'm just torn between my desire to fucking kill my "friend" and not hurt her. It's hard :nonono:

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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10362545 - 05/19/09 02:46 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

I really feel like if they value their marriage he wouldn't do shit like this that's why I'm not afraid to burst their bubble. Sure I'll be a cruel heartless bastard, but who knows it might be for the better - better than finding out when she comes home and he's nailing some other chick.

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Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10362553 - 05/19/09 02:52 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

blkjkrabbit said:
I really feel like if they value their marriage he wouldn't do shit like this that's why I'm not afraid to burst their bubble. Sure I'll be a cruel heartless bastard, but who knows it might be for the better - better than finding out when she comes home and he's nailing some other chick.



What you have to ask yourself is, whether for better or for worse is it your place to make that decision for her?

I don't know the answer, but it's something I hope you'll think about.

Here's a thought, go to her (the guys wife) and tell her the story, but tell her its about someone else, and then ask her whether she thinks you should tell the guys wife or not.


--------------------
The Prophecy!

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InvisibleKlondike
Newbie
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Registered: 04/13/09
Posts: 486
Loc: Oregon
Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10362564 - 05/19/09 02:56 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

You are emotional right now, and people make big mistakes when they are emotional. I guarantee if you wait as little as a few days you will see this issue differently. You can always tell Kristina, but you can never un-tell her, so why not wait a while until you calm down and have a chance to collect your thoughts?

Trust me on this. When I think back to the mistakes I have made and the things I regret, they were always done in the heat of emotion. In almost every case, if I had waited a week, a day, even an hour, I would have cooled down and not made the mistake.

In many instances the wisest course of action is to do nothing, because it gives you time to think and reflect.

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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
Posts: 4,971
Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: Klondike]
    #10362575 - 05/19/09 03:00 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

I really appreciate the advice klondike, you too blewmeanie. I just feel like exploding with rage right now normally I'm really laid back this is definitely not me. I can certainly hang back and sit on this - that's a really good idea blewmeanie I'll ask her that hypothetical to get some perspective. FUCK though I just feel like beating his ass. But yeah all of my worst mistakes in life have been fueled by overwhelming emotion and my tendency to react strongly with those feelings. The good thing though out of all of this is I feel really close to my girlfriend and I feel like I may have lost a friend but I've got trust in her for days.

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Offlinedopelogic
Avid Lurker

Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 51
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10362614 - 05/19/09 03:17 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

If you were her would you want to know the truth? I believe we all would. And your buddy made it your place when he brought the situation into your relationship. Tell her, she might be hurt in the short term, but if it gets her out of a bad situation (even one she doesn't know shes in) its for the best.

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InvisibleKlondike
Newbie
Male


Registered: 04/13/09
Posts: 486
Loc: Oregon
Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10362618 - 05/19/09 03:21 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

I wouldn't even ask her that "hypothetical" question about a "friend" who is cheating, and in that case should he tell the "friend's" girlfriend.

I am not straight, but I had a friend who is, and who was extremely successful with women. One of the things he told me about women is that they are highly intuitive on an emotional level. It is not intelligence per se, but rather intuition. He said he had dated women who did not strike him as even remotely intelligent, but if he had so much as flirted with another girl that day, they somehow just knew. They may not have known exactly what he did, but they just knew that something was out of place.

The female mind is built differently than the male. The male brain is built for solving mathematical equations, logical problems, and devising abstract rules-based systems. The female brain is built for empathy and emotional intuitiveness. Women are much better at decoding interpersonal relationships, just as men are better at building skyscrapers and jumbo jets.

So if you go to Kristina with this story about a "hypothetical" friend who is cheating on his girlfriend/wife I think there is about a 97.584% chance she will figure it all out.

I calculated that probability with my logical, male brain.

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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
Posts: 4,971
Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: dopelogic]
    #10362619 - 05/19/09 03:21 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

dopelogic said:
If you were her would you want to know the truth? I believe we all would. And your buddy made it your place when he brought the situation into your relationship. Tell her, she might be hurt in the short term, but if it gets her out of a bad situation (even one she doesn't know shes in) its for the best.




I agree completely. The short term will be shitty and sure she might hate my fucking guts but in the long run she may see what I did actually may have saved her a shitload of prolonged heartache. - That, and I really think it's important he is held accountable for this shit - he can blow me off - but he can't blow off his wife.

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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
Posts: 4,971
Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: Klondike]
    #10362626 - 05/19/09 03:24 AM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Klondike said:
I wouldn't even ask her that "hypothetical" question about a "friend" who is cheating, and in that case should he tell the "friend's" girlfriend.

I am not straight, but I had a friend who is, and who was extremely successful with women. One of the things he told me about women is that they are highly intuitive on an emotional level. It is not intelligence per se, but rather intuition. He said he had dated women who did not strike him as even remotely intelligent, but if he had so much as flirted with another girl that day, they somehow just knew. They may not have known exactly what he did, but they just knew that something was out of place.

The female mind is built differently than the male. The male brain is built for solving mathematical equations, logical problems, and devising abstract rules-based systems. The female brain is built for empathy and emotional intuitiveness. Women are much better at decoding interpersonal relationships, just as men are better at building skyscrapers and jumbo jets.

So if you go to Kristina with this story about a "hypothetical" friend who is cheating on his girlfriend/wife I think there is about a 97.584% chance she will figure it all out.

I calculated that probability with my logical, male brain.




That's true. Well I think anyone with a head on there shoulder has seen that situation played out before where you use hypothetical people placed in your situation to gather perspective. Male or female it's a pretty recognizable scenario. Either way I've decided she's going to hear about this because he needs to be accountable for being a sleazy douche

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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
Posts: 4,971
Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10364388 - 05/19/09 01:35 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

UPDATE AGAIN

so this morning I was trying to be calm and collected about all this. Apparently ricky "the friend" texted my girlfriend again this morning. Last night she asked "just out of curiosity, how bad did you want it to happen [hooking up]". To which he replied "ummm quite a bit actually hahaha I would've probably tried if we had more alone time. Why would you have let me explore you?"

I texted him not to speak to her ever again and to fuck off completely. I called his wife [kristina] and informed her of the situation as well. She was glad that I told her (sigh of relief). Now my girl and I are in the process of forwarding his texts to Kristina so she can read them and understand the whole story. He's cussed me out some and told me I have to leave when I was already packing to go. Luckily Kristina is backing me up on this and cutting me a check for the last bit of the months rent. It's really sad because we've been good friends for 5+ years but clearly not as good of friends as I thought. Even if they didn't do anything he crossed the fucking line.

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Offlinetpihkal
Male


Registered: 04/11/08
Posts: 2,809
Loc: Michigan Flag
Last seen: 3 months, 11 days
Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: blkjkrabbit]
    #10364559 - 05/19/09 02:17 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

...and the plot thickens  :popcorn:


--------------------

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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
Posts: 4,971
Re: this night catalyzed and seems to substantiate my paranoia [Re: tpihkal]
    #10367248 - 05/19/09 10:54 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

tpihkal said:
...and the plot thickens  :popcorn:




word. basically our friendship went up in smoke, and his marriage is falling apart as kristina laid into him for most of the day. i informed her of the various women he's fucked around with when they were engaged and married as i'm not going to harbor his fucking secrets any more. i'm staying at the same place for a few days while i make arrangements. on top of that, im goin to alaska. but yeah. i feel like im writing a fucking blog it's all gossip this is way too much drama for me - not my style at all. still it's very upsetting and watching him try to make excuses and say we all misinterpreted "exploring" my girlfriend is pathetic to say the least. the kid is full of shit and i wish he'd fuck off and never speak to me or my girl ever again

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