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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience > Trip Reports
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Trip Report: one experience too intense for me.
    #1019134 -

12PM. time to wake up. First thing done is to take a look at the cake and see if its ready to be picked. Yup, they about almost ready. The veil should be broken by 6pm.  I have decided at this point to try something different and that is eat straight from the cake. Pick and eat, pick and eat, pick and eat.  Get dressd and go about doing my normal routine and seeing friends. 6PM rolls around and im feeling pretty good at this point. But i decided to pick them at midnight.  Hang out at  a friends til that time. Get back at 11pm, start picking my babies, weighing them and setting aside 20g fresh and fann drying the rest.  Now i have my plate of freshies with a side sauce of caesars dressing.  Munch , munch, chomp...chomp...Mmmmmmm that was yummie and fast. They were short, thin and  many of them and also a few aborts. By the way they were koh samuis!  25 minutes in, im feeling a lil come on in my head and i know it is commencing.  I also decided earlier i was gonna go out for a walk and check out some friends at a bar (which stops serving alcohol  at 3AM and only has food and non alcoholic beverages after that time!)  I  hang around the apt for a lil while and then get dressed and walk out my apt and 10 minutes into the walk im feeling  it more.  Im looking around enjoying the scenery (at the same time trying to look normal and not out of place) Its well  past 1Am now and daaam the dark skies and clouds r formed in such a cool pattern.  My walking now "feels " slow. going from one block to the next seems to take a lil  long but im not really focusing on this.  Im trying to say to myself , stay calm, relax, walk normal, look normal...take it eazy. I think i was doing a good job.  Im walking up to the bar (which is at the corner of a street) and it just seems so dark. Shit am i in the right area, why is it so dark. Im starting to look at things and places a lil differently.  I walk in and awready see a few familiar faces but now the shrooms magic is intensifying.  I dont wanna stick around now, feel like going.  The fact that im on shrooms and they're not and trying to not look like im messed  didnt make me feel too comfortable. There wasnt too many ppl around..just 4 or 5 ppl. but thats more than i want now.  Making some small talk with some ppl i know there for a few minutes.I need a tea, maybe this will calm me down and bring the intensity down a lil. My friend pays for it and gives me his phone number on a piece of paper (which i told him i had lost cus i was in no condition to remeber  any1's number and i didnt want him to think whats wrong with me or anything like that).  Im on my way out, just gotta leave. Not even 10 steps outside and im thinking "did i really just go in there and see so and so  and talk with so and so. I am also replaying the images and events in my mind as if it was a vcr about two or three times. Oh well on my way home.  Arggg i need some smokes and decided to just go up another block and get me a pack of smokes. Get in there . Great 3 ppl ahead of me. What the shit, this is like  about3AM and im waiting in line (AND im on shrooms) DAmmm.  this seems to take forever. My turns up and i pay the guy his cash and im hoping i still look normal and not out of place.  the paranoia is setting in on me and this aint good at all.  As i walk out the store, i AGAIN think did i just go in there and buy some smokes. I again replay the events 4 or 5 times.  i now realise i need to get back home or this is a lotta trouble  for me. The last thing i need is a cop to stop me (for whatever reason) and he finds out im on shrooms. then everything could be a huge mess.  I start walking a lil faster.  Although im pysically going fast my mind doesnt feel like it. It feels mentally that 1 physical step equals 15 in my mind. Shitttt, and im another 15 minutes walk home.  maaan, i just gotta get home..this aint goin good at all. And i know once im back home i'll be safer and things will get better!  I pass by a fire truck and then a cop car. Its a green lite and the cop aint turning or going straight. And here i am on the same side of the street across from him and not moving .  Man just cross sBUD and dont look at him , just try to look normal!!! Phewww i got thru that.  As i look back the fire truck and cop car was responding to a call in that area.  awrite, 5-7 minutes away from home now. take a short cut.  Dont wanna be on a main street.  I didnt even hear it but a security car pulls up beside me doing his routine check. Dam, i looked at him and he looked back at me. Nothing happened.  I guess i didnt look awkward and i still had some control to at least not looked messed up .  Im really paranoid now. that 5 minutes feels like 15 minutes. what the fuck.  Im only now a few blocks away.  yess im gonna make it, but the paronoia is still intense and wont let up.  I get to the door and my eyes focused on the key goin in the slot...it was like slow motion.  I get in. up the elevator . Im on my floor and theres my door.  Finally im in!  I find myself pacing back and forth...goin from my  fridge, to the bathroom, to looking out of my front door to loooking out my balcony window prolly like 5 times.  Im hungry but man i just wanna go sleep, wake up and get back to myself. I get to my room, close the door, take off my clothes and get into bed. This is it, go sleep, 8  or 10 hours later i'll wake up and things will be back to where they were (except i'll just have some memories i'd like to forget :confused:.  NOpe, the next 4-5  hours r just as intense as outside.  I cant get to sleep. I just keep waking up and seeing my rooom wall to wall. I walk to the window, the door, and pace again.  This is goin on for about 5-7 times. Go back to my bed try to close my eyes and sleep. Dam i cant and i do the same thing again.  I start thinking negative things that i have no control over and im thinking will i ever wake up from this. Is this gonna to repeat itself eternally. Am i trapped in this state.  Should i go outside of my room . Naaaah dont. i want this to end and if i go out it 'll keep going. Just try to sleep, reeelax.  Damn i cant and im pacing again. At one point  i get up and sit on my bed and have my palms on both cheeks and run it down to my chin  and shake my head thinking why is this happening to me. Im pounding my head against the matress a few times in disbelief. this cant be happening to me. How do i get out of this .  I know if i can get to slepp it'll end.  The shrooms just wont allow it.  it is in the drivers seat and i've come to realise at this point, the ONLY way out is when its magic wears off and i come down.  Anyways, by 7AM my mind "feels" normal. I test it and as i walk around i actually feel each step and i can think clearly and most importantly i can think straight without paranoia dominating me.  Im real hungry at this point and i have the confidence that it is over and step out of my room to grab some bananas and left overs. I sit on my bed the next hour to reflect what has happened. I cant believe that the total elapse time of all this was only 7 hours. ( i ate them at midnite and i came down at 7AM) it felt like eternity.  It was the most miserable experience i went thru.  Anyways, time to silica dry the babies and transfer them into  the box .  Get into the bed and now i know i can snooze!
10hours later of power napping, i feel much better .  But did i REALLY step out of the apartment and go to that bar, and did i really buy smokes at the covenience. and did i REALLY see that security car pass  by me as i took a short cut home.  Decided to check my pocket.  Fuck sakes, that paper with his number on it..its there in my pocket. SHIT, i DID go out and all of it was real.  I was hoping that that part was all in my head and part of the bad trip, but it wasnt.  I was that close to really fucking up. If that cop  just talked to me, he COULDa (or maybe he couldnt) found my behaviour suspicious. That was too close. I was at the peak of my paranoia at that time too when i saw the fire truck and cop car.
As i got up and took a walk to my friends i couldnt help but to  realise just how good it was to walk normally and feel in total control of ur mind, of ur emotions and  of ur physical state! 
Why am i writing all of  this then?  Maybe its for me...to see for my own eyes that im back in reality. Or maybe its to let ppl know that eating fresh off the cakes (or casing)  is not to be taken lightly.  I honestly didnt think 20g frsh would have this effect on me cus  several months ago i picked 18g , put them in the fridge a few days in a brown paper bag, ate them..played some games and chilled with friends and it was a mild experience. But this time around it  was SLAmMinG me and only 2 g more???  However it was a different strain AND it was straight off the cakes...  not sitting around for a few days in a refridgerated environment where  some psilocybin was prolly lost.  U cant say well 20g fresh  is like 2.5g dried converted and  well, that aint that  much.  For me the 20g fresh was like 3-4 g dried.  It definitely exposed me.  Shrooms tend to do that. U can hide ur stress fromm friends, family, strangers and even urself but  no way, not from shrooms. I guess when i thought i was in a good mood, i really wasnt.  And one lil bit of paranoia can turn into an avalanche that u cant stop!  It was more than i could handle .  but what could i have done to calm the situation down or better yet get out of a bad  bad trip??  it was the worst feeling when i got home. and it became worst as i tried to go sleep and "tried" to wake up.    Dried shrooms is one thing.  Grinding them into a powder is one thing. Adding them to a brownie cake is one thing.  BUT respect shrooms in their fresh state with the UPMOST respect, otherwise she will make u pay for it :crazy:

enough of my rambling!,

sBUD:p 

Edited by geokills (11/03/02 09:50 PM)

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Re: one experience too intense for me. [Re: sBUD]
    #1019332 -

yo im gonna help u out my last trip started out like this too. i was pacing back and forth, and walking from the bathroom to my room then downstairs for no reason at all. the key is to loose urself. thats right. fuk the cops fuk everyone and dont care what ppl think about u. they cant do anything and nobody is gonna 'know ur on shrooms' unless u really tell them. caffeine dialates my eyes huge so does pot. anyway try and let ur mind flow. easier said then done, but next time set things aside so u can marvel at and relax. maybe have a bunch of mp3s on a winamp list like big bud, aphex twin, floyd, anything thatll really play with ur mind, and have fun with it. if u sit alone, and worry about the condition ur in, then ur fuked. start appreciating things u normally wouldnt. i find that reading a book or talking to an old friend is great to have ur mind focus on somethin else where u can go deep. i told myself i was doing the shrooms to have a good time, and explore myself. sleeping is out of the question and dont forget a bad trip will always teach u something. they happen for a reason. dont disrespect the shrooms and they shall bring u a wonderful trip.

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Re: Trip Report: one experience too intense for me. [Re: sBUD]
    #1019559 -

ADRADMIN has some good comments there.
Quote:
And one lil bit of paranoia can turn into an avalanche that u cant stop!


yea, it can happen.  paranoia is definitely a downside.  however, i'm thinking if you were in a more comfortable setting, that you would have had a much better experience.  i ate 1.2g fresh once, and found it to be a very mild experience (although i was surrounded by trippers tripping more than i was).  so my point is, it all goes back to set & setting.  you need to be in good mindset, and have a good place that you will enjoy chillin' at for a while :cool:

good luck with your future trips, sBud!
 


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┼ ··∙   long live the shroomery  ∙·· ┼
...╬π╥ ╥π╬...

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Re: Trip Report: one experience too intense for me. [Re: sBUD]
    #1024419 -

I would just stay indoors at all times when tripping. why the need to venture outside in the dark unknown?  :confused:

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Re: Trip Report: one experience too intense for me. [Re: LSAuser]
    #1025037 -

In reply to:
I would just stay indoors at all times when tripping. why the need to venture outside in the dark unknown?



Yep, get all of that sorted b4 you trip. Walking on the street alone is way too intense.
Sounds like that paranoid state in your room was peak 'thought loop' territory. That can be a bitch, and I guess it can happen to the best of us, but I think if you go in with the right frame of mind ( no uncertainty or apprehension) then there should be enough logic kicking around in that sound mind to overide the paranoia snowball effect.
It's like going into an exercise cold, no warm up, there's always a possibilty of injury. But a little preperation and warmup lets the body adjust and prepare for the toil.
What I find works well is to have some kind of ceremony.That could involve fasting for a few hours or days even before hand, a specified (agreed upon) amount to ingest, a list (mental is usually enough) of all things needed for the night, all music sorted out, no outside interuption ie phones OFF, though if you're outside thats harder to acheive unless you've got a nice plot of land. It's that kind of prep that settles the mind(and is very medatitive, as the methodical approach gives way to a trance like focus) and provides the calm needed b4 the storm.
Fresh may have had something to do with it, but on reading your account of the events it seems you were uncomfortable with your surroundings long b4 you were uncomfortable with your trip!


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We are the music makers, We are the dreamers of dreams...

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Re: Trip Report: one experience too intense for me [Re: Roger_irrelevant]
    #1025942 -

see, that's crazy. paranoia is the coolest thing ever. then you start telling yaself stuff like, "to act normal, i have to put my arms in the air...as high as they will go, otherwise everyone will know your trippin." eventually you'll convince yourself to do it.

then when vans drive past, or you see one parked nearby, you think, "there's people in that van watching me. if i slip up anywhere, they'll come around and throw me in the van and take me away". so you start fuckin with em like putting you arms in the air, but then yawning, like you're stretching. and then you think, "heheh, suckers, they aren't gonna get me." then you start walking backwards, and if the van starts moving you run as fast as you can!!!! and when you're away, you know you are the luckiest guy in the universe.

cops are the best. if you walk past one, think"holy crap, i have to be as normal as possible!!" and really work yourself up and you'll probably be walking real funny and trying to whistle or hum but you'll just be making croaking noises, and you'll realise you're acting weird and you will not be able to stop laughing. then you run!!!!!

so in conclusion, if in public, psyche yourself out major and psyche everyone else out and ask people how time is and why the sidewalk isn't in the middle of the road. good time will be had by all.

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Re: Trip Report: one experience too intense for me [Re: nilobject]
    #1025985 -

good advice nil :crazy: 


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KRAMER CAKES



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Re: one experience too intense for me. [Re: ADRADMIN]
    #1028836 -

sounds like good advice there adramin!

Dont ya hate that walking back and forth and doing the same thing over and over
thinking constantly "didnt  i just do this"?
It musta happen like 5 times or more :frown:

At the beginning i thought i had that mindset >fuck every1 and i dont give a shit what every1 thinks<
but i lost it somehow.  Esp as i was walking along the streets when i kept saying to myself just look normal,
stay calm, relax.  I think that was the first mistake and was the first of many.
Yea i shoulda marveled at the scenery as i was walking. like when those dark clouds formed that cool wavy pattern
and how they were so aligned.  Maybe i shoulda just chilled there and look up at them and at the stars,
rather than continue walking and eventually hooking up with ppl.
Yea i wont sleep next time. I only did it hoping i would end the bad trip but obviously it didnt.
I'd definitely do alot of things differently next time. 

Geokills>>>  1.2 g fresh????  Im surprised u can experience anything on something that lil      :ooo:

Roger_irrevelant>>>  for some reason i dont like fasting too long b4 eating them.  I'd like to have something in
my stomach (just a bit). then eat them a few hours later.
I didnt feel too uncomfortable outside  .  And it was there i shoulda stayed....rather than venturing into
a place where other ppl were (i think thats where the discomfort was)

I do have one question though.  If u do feel paranoia setting in (at whatever point inn ya trip)
what do ya do to come out of the paranoia and take back control???  is it something u think
or something ya do (i dont know, maybe jumping jacks...every1 has different solutions) or maybe something
ya drink or consume????  Like to come down a bit on mj, eating is one good way!

thx all,

TriP safely

sBUD:tongue:

Edited by sBUD (11/06/02 04:22 PM)

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Re: one experience too intense for me. [Re: sBUD]
    #1040358 -

when the paranoia starts to set in i gotta have my koosh ball, seeing the koosh gush with life and motion makes me laugh every time.


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"To know life you must fuck it in the liver." -Dr. Frankenstein, Andy Warhols Frankenstein

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Re: one experience too intense for me. [Re: Fick_Duck]
    #1041666 -

whats a koosh ball?????

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Re: one experience too intense for me. [Re: sBUD]
    #1041720 -

i found that vitamin e will bring u down from a bad trip!

PS. can someone tell me how to post a pic i keep trying and it wont work
what does "press THUMB HTML" mean .if u can help please pm me thanx :confused:


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Im not a good speller i know .when you've done
as many drugs as me and you get as burt out as
me....you just get to lazy to use the spellcheck.


Edited by johnH (11/10/02 07:49 PM)

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Re: one experience too intense for me. [Re: johnH]
    #1042547 -

FUCK YES NIL! thats the type of crazy shit me and my friends did when we tripped. We havent been able to get our hands on acid or shrooms for over a year but when we used to trip a lot we would go to this huge public park in the dead of the night with like 7 or so people and we would run around like fucking maniacs and putting on shows for each other as well as tearing shit up (i.e. throwing trash cans and tetherball poles in the canal going through the park (. The night seemed like a movie we were making and we were all stars it was some bad ass shit to say the least ;D
-Bulletooth

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Re: one experience too intense for me. [Re: BulletoothTony]
    #1043710 -

LOL Nilobject! Funny shit.

I do like that sometimes when i trip. I love to feed my paranoia a little, then when i start acting wierd i notice it and it allways cracks me up.

I especially like going to a 7eleven when im on a peek. I can just hear the voice in my head say "act normal or they will get you" then when its time to pay the clerc im so full of laughter i cant hold it. Man most people in the store usually get very freaked out.




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We're the lowest of the low, the scum of the fucking earth!

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Re: one experience too intense for me. [Re: Scarfmeister]
    #1045365 -

shroomnoob, for definate. my friend has this real bad habit of forgetting to pay for stuff and he'll just walk out of the shop with a couple drinks and chips. usually noone notices because i'm at the counter giving my wallet to the guy and saying, "man, just take whatever you need." But when the guy does notice, he'll run after my friend and tell him to pay, but my friend will not for the life of him understand why this guy wants some paper in exchange for food. i eventually, after spending 30 minutes on the ground totally flippin out with laughter, go and convince my friend that we are in a foriegn country and it is customary to pay people for talking to them, or it's a tribute to their gods, and he'll pay up.

then when we leave we remember we left another friend at the store and discover he's been spending his time in the freezers. and another friend will be trying to stack a whole bunch of stuff on the floor in the form of a pyramid, with the store guy just lookin. and then we all start to read this guys thoughts and buy him some chips. but then we realise we never left the house and have been acting this whole scenario out in practice for when we actually go to the shop, and the store guy is actually a dog that wandered in off the street and we thought was a drug dog so we got him a drink to try and bribe him into not dragging us down to the pound.

then when we eventually left we brought the dog so if we were acting funny, everyone would know that we're high and that we are being brought into the station. and when people would walk past one of us would throw our voice and make it sound like a dog and say "good evening, don't mind us, but i wouldn't walk down there because there is crazy people there." and we would make the dog order our food, but then we got chucked out, but the dog didn't and i thought he must've had some sort of jurisdiction there and maybe he was busting them for health regulation violations or something. so we waited for him and when he came out he had some chips, but he didn't. it was just a stick he found. so we sat on the footpath with the dog, except the dog was actually a man-being with a dog skin coat and he started tell us junk, which we could understand, but interpreted differently, but can't repeat in english, due to the abstract thought patterns of the messages. we got up, thanked the dog and shook his paw(as he was now a dog again) and watched as he walked away. we all thought it would be a good idea to get downn on all fours and walk home like a dog. amazingly enough we only passed another dog on the way home and greeted it. then some scenes were missing.

we think the dog is a pothead cause he keeps visiting us while smoking pot and seems to really enjoy being one with the smoke(which we appreciate because he dances and swirls the smoke around our own perceptions). we had offered the dog a mushroom, but he declined. we understood and didn't rag on him.

we don't tripp without the dog anymore. he is our guardian.

nil

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Re: Trip Report: one experience too intense for me. [Re: sBUD]
    #1045569 -

Interesting...

I actually find that being indoors gets me very paniky.....I'm not claustrophobic, but I think I get that way on mushrooms. too many simultaneous stimulations upset me, especially anything man-made or noisy, or anything with a screen (TV, computer, etc...). Being outside really calms me down, even in the dead of night when it's pouring and I'm in a completely dark forest.....I guess I don't feel afraid because I get more in touch with my primal instincts and I don't really fear death. It's people, and their material possesions that scare me.

Also, in order to avoid or reduce paranoia, I discovered an interesting motto while tripping with a few good friends:

If you rationalize the "Something" is good and "Nothing" is bad, then you can look around you at all of the things that exist (vs. non-exist) and say "Something is right, and Nothing is wrong, and therefore, nothing's wrong".....repeat until calm.

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Re: Trip Report: one experience too intense for me. [Re: Shadler77]
    #1045588 -

once, i was in school on mushrooms, in class, and the walls were pushing in on me... i thought the room was gonna kill me or blow up or something... not a bad trip tho, just funny :-)


--------------------
"I think it's time we stop
Children, What's the sound,
Everybody look what's going down"

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Re: Trip Report: one experience too intense for me. [Re: Shadler77]
    #1047128 -

I guess some ppl feel more comfortable with an inside setting while others prefer an outdoor setting.  Thats why i decided to
venture out and see what all the fuss  was about and why many ppl say  being out in nature, or in the park, or walking around
is a trip worth experiencing.  I see bad trips as a part of it. This isnt a picture perfect world, and we r
not picture perfect ppl,  just like life...ur gonna have ur ups and downs. Ur good trips and ur bad trips. Good thoughts
and bad thoughts.  calmness and paranoia.  So what i went thru is just part of the cycle. It isnt like this will alwayz happen.
I dont think there is one person here that has never exp anything bad while on shrooms....or in life  for that matter.

Thats an interesting motto there shadler.  Will give that a try if that ever happens again.
"...repeat til calm"
Repeat seemed to be the theme of that nite.  Everything kept repeating in my mind like a cheap broken down vcr.
I felt like bill murray in groundhog Day  :frown:
Do ya think drinking large quantities of oj (or taking vitamin e) can help reduce paranoia?????  Or even smoking a
lil mj (or hash for that matter)  >.>>>jus curious about that.?? Or maybe it will intensify the paranoia?  Any opinions about that?

sBUD:tongue:   

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Re: Trip Report: one experience too intense for me. [Re: sBUD]
    #1047448 -

mj (or hash) is definitely chancy, it can do just the trick, or send you into oblivion

it can either have the effects your looking for, or intensify the mushroom effects past comprehensibility. So, well, it is hard to say there.....


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D_Tox

to understand other people….to be aware
to understand animals….to be a decent person
to understand plants….. to be a refined individual
to understand the mushroom…to be enlightened

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Re: Trip Report: one experience too intense for me. [Re: D_Tox]
    #1049746 -

sending u into oblivion is even more worse. It was bad enough, i dont think i woulda wanted it to get any more intense.
I had a hard time dealing with it , the misery, the confusion, the wanting of it  to be over. I didnt feel good at all!!!
Or instead of mj or hash...what about droppin a pill of e. That makes ya feel sooooo warm, happy and u get
nothing but positive vibes. So seeing how one is in a paranoia state, wouldnt dropping a happy luv pill help and
reverse the bad trip and ease it somewhat and take u on a reverse course?

Any opinions about that?

I asked that cus i had a nice short roll yesterday, like 2 hours...so that woulda been perfect to get out of that
terrible feeling.

sBUD:tongue:   

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Re: Trip Report: one experience too intense for me. [Re: sBUD]
    #1050531 -

i think shrooms are just a magnifying glass for the soul and the personality. i read all these stories of people feeling uncomfortable and paranoid, just wanting the trip to end. what's your boggle?!?!?!??!

i think what it really is, is that maybe you're just not comfortable with yourself at that moment. that could be from a number of things, most likely the enviroment you're in or the people you're around. whenever you take shrooms, get comfortable, get pysched, and have fun. whevenever about to take some, i'm thinking, "fuck yeah, i'm about to trip out." then when i'm tripping, i start to yell at people. "AND THEN WE ATE THE MUSHROOMS, AND IT WAS COOL!!!!" I remember carrying a 12 pack of beer down the street when i was 16 while shrooming. some people were trying to eye me down, so i started yelling at them, "I HAVE BEER, BEER IS COOL!!!"

basically, when i shroom out, i'm not scared of anything. i'd probably fight a cop if somebody told me to. that's the type of mindset you need in order to escape the bad trip.

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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience > Trip Reports
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