12PM. time to wake up. First thing done is to take a look at the cake and see if its ready to be picked. Yup, they about almost ready. The veil should be broken by 6pm. I have decided at this point to try something different and that is eat straight from the cake. Pick and eat, pick and eat, pick and eat. Get dressd and go about doing my normal routine and seeing friends. 6PM rolls around and im feeling pretty good at this point. But i decided to pick them at midnight. Hang out at a friends til that time. Get back at 11pm, start picking my babies, weighing them and setting aside 20g fresh and fann drying the rest. Now i have my plate of freshies with a side sauce of caesars dressing. Munch , munch, chomp...chomp...Mmmmmmm that was yummie and fast. They were short, thin and many of them and also a few aborts. By the way they were koh samuis! 25 minutes in, im feeling a lil come on in my head and i know it is commencing. I also decided earlier i was gonna go out for a walk and check out some friends at a bar (which stops serving alcohol at 3AM and only has food and non alcoholic beverages after that time!) I hang around the apt for a lil while and then get dressed and walk out my apt and 10 minutes into the walk im feeling it more. Im looking around enjoying the scenery (at the same time trying to look normal and not out of place) Its well past 1Am now and daaam the dark skies and clouds r formed in such a cool pattern. My walking now "feels " slow. going from one block to the next seems to take a lil long but im not really focusing on this. Im trying to say to myself , stay calm, relax, walk normal, look normal...take it eazy. I think i was doing a good job. Im walking up to the bar (which is at the corner of a street) and it just seems so dark. Shit am i in the right area, why is it so dark. Im starting to look at things and places a lil differently. I walk in and awready see a few familiar faces but now the shrooms magic is intensifying. I dont wanna stick around now, feel like going. The fact that im on shrooms and they're not and trying to not look like im messed didnt make me feel too comfortable. There wasnt too many ppl around..just 4 or 5 ppl. but thats more than i want now. Making some small talk with some ppl i know there for a few minutes.I need a tea, maybe this will calm me down and bring the intensity down a lil. My friend pays for it and gives me his phone number on a piece of paper (which i told him i had lost cus i was in no condition to remeber any1's number and i didnt want him to think whats wrong with me or anything like that). Im on my way out, just gotta leave. Not even 10 steps outside and im thinking "did i really just go in there and see so and so and talk with so and so. I am also replaying the images and events in my mind as if it was a vcr about two or three times. Oh well on my way home. Arggg i need some smokes and decided to just go up another block and get me a pack of smokes. Get in there . Great 3 ppl ahead of me. What the shit, this is like about3AM and im waiting in line (AND im on shrooms) DAmmm. this seems to take forever. My turns up and i pay the guy his cash and im hoping i still look normal and not out of place. the paranoia is setting in on me and this aint good at all. As i walk out the store, i AGAIN think did i just go in there and buy some smokes. I again replay the events 4 or 5 times. i now realise i need to get back home or this is a lotta trouble for me. The last thing i need is a cop to stop me (for whatever reason) and he finds out im on shrooms. then everything could be a huge mess. I start walking a lil faster. Although im pysically going fast my mind doesnt feel like it. It feels mentally that 1 physical step equals 15 in my mind. Shitttt, and im another 15 minutes walk home. maaan, i just gotta get home..this aint goin good at all. And i know once im back home i'll be safer and things will get better! I pass by a fire truck and then a cop car. Its a green lite and the cop aint turning or going straight. And here i am on the same side of the street across from him and not moving . Man just cross sBUD and dont look at him , just try to look normal!!! Phewww i got thru that. As i look back the fire truck and cop car was responding to a call in that area. awrite, 5-7 minutes away from home now. take a short cut. Dont wanna be on a main street. I didnt even hear it but a security car pulls up beside me doing his routine check. Dam, i looked at him and he looked back at me. Nothing happened. I guess i didnt look awkward and i still had some control to at least not looked messed up . Im really paranoid now. that 5 minutes feels like 15 minutes. what the fuck. Im only now a few blocks away. yess im gonna make it, but the paronoia is still intense and wont let up. I get to the door and my eyes focused on the key goin in the slot...it was like slow motion. I get in. up the elevator . Im on my floor and theres my door. Finally im in! I find myself pacing back and forth...goin from my fridge, to the bathroom, to looking out of my front door to loooking out my balcony window prolly like 5 times. Im hungry but man i just wanna go sleep, wake up and get back to myself. I get to my room, close the door, take off my clothes and get into bed. This is it, go sleep, 8 or 10 hours later i'll wake up and things will be back to where they were (except i'll just have some memories i'd like to forget . NOpe, the next 4-5 hours r just as intense as outside. I cant get to sleep. I just keep waking up and seeing my rooom wall to wall. I walk to the window, the door, and pace again. This is goin on for about 5-7 times. Go back to my bed try to close my eyes and sleep. Dam i cant and i do the same thing again. I start thinking negative things that i have no control over and im thinking will i ever wake up from this. Is this gonna to repeat itself eternally. Am i trapped in this state. Should i go outside of my room . Naaaah dont. i want this to end and if i go out it 'll keep going. Just try to sleep, reeelax. Damn i cant and im pacing again. At one point i get up and sit on my bed and have my palms on both cheeks and run it down to my chin and shake my head thinking why is this happening to me. Im pounding my head against the matress a few times in disbelief. this cant be happening to me. How do i get out of this . I know if i can get to slepp it'll end. The shrooms just wont allow it. it is in the drivers seat and i've come to realise at this point, the ONLY way out is when its magic wears off and i come down. Anyways, by 7AM my mind "feels" normal. I test it and as i walk around i actually feel each step and i can think clearly and most importantly i can think straight without paranoia dominating me. Im real hungry at this point and i have the confidence that it is over and step out of my room to grab some bananas and left overs. I sit on my bed the next hour to reflect what has happened. I cant believe that the total elapse time of all this was only 7 hours. ( i ate them at midnite and i came down at 7AM) it felt like eternity. It was the most miserable experience i went thru. Anyways, time to silica dry the babies and transfer them into the box . Get into the bed and now i know i can snooze! 10hours later of power napping, i feel much better . But did i REALLY step out of the apartment and go to that bar, and did i really buy smokes at the covenience. and did i REALLY see that security car pass by me as i took a short cut home. Decided to check my pocket. Fuck sakes, that paper with his number on it..its there in my pocket. SHIT, i DID go out and all of it was real. I was hoping that that part was all in my head and part of the bad trip, but it wasnt. I was that close to really fucking up. If that cop just talked to me, he COULDa (or maybe he couldnt) found my behaviour suspicious. That was too close. I was at the peak of my paranoia at that time too when i saw the fire truck and cop car. As i got up and took a walk to my friends i couldnt help but to realise just how good it was to walk normally and feel in total control of ur mind, of ur emotions and of ur physical state! Why am i writing all of this then? Maybe its for me...to see for my own eyes that im back in reality. Or maybe its to let ppl know that eating fresh off the cakes (or casing) is not to be taken lightly. I honestly didnt think 20g frsh would have this effect on me cus several months ago i picked 18g , put them in the fridge a few days in a brown paper bag, ate them..played some games and chilled with friends and it was a mild experience. But this time around it was SLAmMinG me and only 2 g more??? However it was a different strain AND it was straight off the cakes... not sitting around for a few days in a refridgerated environment where some psilocybin was prolly lost. U cant say well 20g fresh is like 2.5g dried converted and well, that aint that much. For me the 20g fresh was like 3-4 g dried. It definitely exposed me. Shrooms tend to do that. U can hide ur stress fromm friends, family, strangers and even urself but no way, not from shrooms. I guess when i thought i was in a good mood, i really wasnt. And one lil bit of paranoia can turn into an avalanche that u cant stop! It was more than i could handle . but what could i have done to calm the situation down or better yet get out of a bad bad trip?? it was the worst feeling when i got home. and it became worst as i tried to go sleep and "tried" to wake up. Dried shrooms is one thing. Grinding them into a powder is one thing. Adding them to a brownie cake is one thing. BUT respect shrooms in their fresh state with the UPMOST respect, otherwise she will make u pay for it 
enough of my rambling!,
sBUD:p
Edited by geokills (11/03/02 09:50 PM)
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