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Anonymous #1
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College Closed -> Depression
#9899838 - 03/02/09 09:10 PM (15 years, 20 days ago) |
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Last year I spent time at the most amazing college that ever existed. Besides the ubiquitous psychoactives and complete lack of rule enforcement (think taking a toke in the administration building, or tripping in math class), it was also an extremely safe community that was very queer and sex positive. It was a home for all of those who didn't fit into societies standards, a safe haven for people with "radical" views. It was also the first place I used many different types of psychoactives, so it is the homebase of much of my exploration. Overall it facilitated my mind to grow spiritually, sexually, mentally etc.
This place, although not a utopia, closed recently for financial reasons, and I am now at a standard liberal arts school. The problem is, after the best experience of my life, I am now far from my friends and the only place that I ever felt truly comfortable. I'm losing interest in everything. I try to sleep all day to pass the time and I find it hard to eat. I've started grinding my teeth which I have never done in my entire life. I feel anxious constantly. I'm doing well in my classes but those only take up a small amount of my time, the rest I just spend reading in my room and surfing the web. I'm not sure how to keep the motivation to make it through the rest of my semester.
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Talking Head
cheeseburger walrus
Registered: 07/02/08
Posts: 1,080
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Re: College Closed -> Depression *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #1]
#9899878 - 03/02/09 09:14 PM (15 years, 20 days ago) |
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Post deleted by Talking HeadReason for deletion: jklahldjkhfajd
-------------------- pt: n u m b e r s c a n a l s o b e u CT(a): BH AT CW CE KI LI LT KE AE BH AE KW LT AW CE KI AT pt: s e d a s c o o r d i n a t e s CT(a): LT KI KT AE LT KE AW AW LI KT BI BH AE LE KI LT Outer Space Radio Network Gcv Ujkv
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InRainbows
Duke
Registered: 07/17/08
Posts: 16
Last seen: 15 years, 18 days
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Re: College Closed -> Depression [Re: Talking Head]
#9899891 - 03/02/09 09:15 PM (15 years, 20 days ago) |
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My parents have already payed for this semester here.
-------------------- "It loved to happen"
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Hubbub
Mongol of Moot Mute
Registered: 02/24/09
Posts: 214
Last seen: 14 years, 11 months
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Re: College Closed -> Depression [Re: Anonymous #1]
#9899894 - 03/02/09 09:15 PM (15 years, 20 days ago) |
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Welcome to my world. GET OUT AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!
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Edited by Hubbub (03/02/09 09:17 PM)
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marshalldylan1
Stranger
Registered: 11/09/06
Posts: 2,485
Last seen: 13 years, 1 month
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Re: College Closed -> Depression [Re: Hubbub]
#9899936 - 03/02/09 09:19 PM (15 years, 20 days ago) |
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Was this college in Arizona?
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InRainbows
Duke
Registered: 07/17/08
Posts: 16
Last seen: 15 years, 18 days
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Re: College Closed -> Depression [Re: Hubbub]
#9899943 - 03/02/09 09:20 PM (15 years, 20 days ago) |
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Oh I am planning on it, but to not totally infuriate/alienate my parents I'm not going to waste the money they spent on this semester. I just don't have anything else that is keeping me here.
And no it was in Ohio. I guess I have given up on the anonymous thing >_>
-------------------- "It loved to happen"
Edited by InRainbows (03/02/09 09:22 PM)
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Talking Head
cheeseburger walrus
Registered: 07/02/08
Posts: 1,080
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Re: College Closed -> Depression *DELETED* [Re: Hubbub]
#9899957 - 03/02/09 09:22 PM (15 years, 20 days ago) |
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Post deleted by Talking HeadReason for deletion: jklhaljkdshf
-------------------- pt: n u m b e r s c a n a l s o b e u CT(a): BH AT CW CE KI LI LT KE AE BH AE KW LT AW CE KI AT pt: s e d a s c o o r d i n a t e s CT(a): LT KI KT AE LT KE AW AW LI KT BI BH AE LE KI LT Outer Space Radio Network Gcv Ujkv
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Anonymous #2
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Re: College Closed -> Depression *DELETED* [Re: Talking Head]
#9899962 - 03/02/09 09:22 PM (15 years, 20 days ago) |
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Post deleted by AnonymousReason for deletion: jklahlkjdhfjad
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InRainbows
Duke
Registered: 07/17/08
Posts: 16
Last seen: 15 years, 18 days
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Re: College Closed -> Depression [Re: Anonymous #2]
#9899990 - 03/02/09 09:25 PM (15 years, 20 days ago) |
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Yeah I guess I don't have anyone to hide from, my situation is pretty specific but if anyone who I knows finds this they know it already anyway.. silly paranoid me
-------------------- "It loved to happen"
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lukey2411
Stranger
Registered: 03/06/08
Posts: 740
Loc: Australia, Victoria, (S.E...
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
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Re: College Closed -> Depression [Re: InRainbows]
#9900237 - 03/02/09 09:55 PM (15 years, 20 days ago) |
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Pretty hard to let go of something that you really feel connected to and instills a sense of safety/homeliness.
What other options do you have though? If all we ever do is live in our perfect societies, then the rest of our lives are going to be one, big, long comedown.
How many years do you have left before you get your degree? Are you still in contact with any of your friends from your former college?
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InRainbows
Duke
Registered: 07/17/08
Posts: 16
Last seen: 15 years, 18 days
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Re: College Closed -> Depression [Re: lukey2411]
#9900261 - 03/02/09 09:58 PM (15 years, 20 days ago) |
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Oh yes, I will be living with some of them this summer, but after this summer who knows? I am just finishing up my second year in terms of credits but I have only been at school for three semesters.
-------------------- "It loved to happen"
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option_paralysis
realism is an illusion
Registered: 12/30/08
Posts: 41
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: College Closed -> Depression [Re: InRainbows]
#9912877 - 03/04/09 08:18 PM (15 years, 18 days ago) |
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I don't think I've ever experienced such a utopia as you have, but I promise you that no matter where you go, you can find people like that. People who are open-minded, accepting, and generally intelligent are everywhere; they just often hold back, just as I assume you are doing at your new school.
How to find them? It's different everywhere. Sometimes just freeing yourself and acting exactly how you feel, saying exactly what you think works. I've found that approach usually wins me a couple enemies and a ton of friends who I'd never known were so accepting. Most people yearn to be that free, and will open up very quickly when they see that you will not judge them.
-------------------- ...but on meth it is.
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Mr. Bojangles
Breathe In
Registered: 04/08/08
Posts: 1,937
Loc: The Dirty
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My buddy used to go there before it closed...he raved about that place, always telling me I had to visit. He seems to be coping well in California though, I think what helps him is he does exactly what option_paralysis was talking about: finding like minded people and surrounding himself with them. As to how he meets these people, not too sure.
-------------------- "It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong." Francois-Marie Arouet
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fall
Stranger
Registered: 01/20/08
Posts: 595
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
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Re: College Closed -> Depression [Re: Mr. Bojangles]
#9926016 - 03/06/09 10:50 PM (15 years, 16 days ago) |
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Go to Hampshire College.
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Green_T
Registered: 10/02/08
Posts: 4,042
Loc: UK
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Re: College Closed -> Depression [Re: fall]
#9939437 - 03/09/09 12:48 PM (15 years, 13 days ago) |
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I kind of felt like the best part of my life was over when i graduated high school (dumb, i know) and all that nostalgia kept me from enjoying college to the fullest, for a short while anyway. Now I'm out of college, and again I feel like the best part of my life is over... But i'm a little wiser now, and know to always take advantage of my situation.
There has got to be something about this new place that your old one didn't have, or something unique that you won't experience anywhere else. Try to find what it is, and enjoy it Hang around people who are happy with where they are, and you will be too. Trust me on that, i've lived in some pretty rough places before, and the ones who made the best of it were the happiest
-------------------- "I have sworn upon the altar of god eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man" - Thomas Jefferson Legalize Meth | Drug War Victims
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: College Closed -> Depression [Re: Anonymous #1]
#9939531 - 03/09/09 01:05 PM (15 years, 13 days ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Last year I spent time at the most amazing college that ever existed. Besides the ubiquitous psychoactives and complete lack of rule enforcement (think taking a toke in the administration building, or tripping in math class), it was also an extremely safe community that was very queer and sex positive. It was a home for all of those who didn't fit into societies standards, a safe haven for people with "radical" views. It was also the first place I used many different types of psychoactives, so it is the homebase of much of my exploration. Overall it facilitated my mind to grow spiritually, sexually, mentally etc.
This place, although not a utopia, closed recently for financial reasons, and I am now at a standard liberal arts school. The problem is, after the best experience of my life, I am now far from my friends and the only place that I ever felt truly comfortable. I'm losing interest in everything. I try to sleep all day to pass the time and I find it hard to eat. I've started grinding my teeth which I have never done in my entire life. I feel anxious constantly. I'm doing well in my classes but those only take up a small amount of my time, the rest I just spend reading in my room and surfing the web. I'm not sure how to keep the motivation to make it through the rest of my semester.
I went to an alternative college that was similar in many ways in the 70s. It got closed for being too radical. I never could go back to any other college after that. I had seen the best and everything else was so lame and uninteresting. I'm grateful I got two years of it. It was some of the best time I ever spent on this planet.
Nothing lasts.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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