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Mr Cyan
3
Registered: 09/27/08
Posts: 626
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I once had this girlfriend... *DELETED*
#9632948 - 01/18/09 04:49 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Post deleted by Mr CyanReason for deletion: Who cares
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geokills
∙∙∙∙☼ º¿° ☼∙∙∙∙
Registered: 05/08/01
Posts: 23,544
Loc: city of angels
Last seen: 8 hours, 15 minutes
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Re: I once had this girlfriend... [Re: Mr Cyan]
#9633089 - 01/18/09 05:15 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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It's very difficult if not impossible to know how well you handled the situation, having only heard your account of it. We all hold a hidden bias.
Of all you wrote, what saddens me most is that you did not tell this woman that you loved her. Because of this, I might suggest that it was not only her who may have been confused or unwilling to adequately express herself. It seems that you too were confused or perhaps too guarded to have let yourself be free with her.
And that is OK. You are both young and you will both continue to learn from your experiences. This newfound knowledge of yourself may not arrive overnight, but in time you will better understand what it is that has made you act the way you have, and how you might choose to act differently in the future.
Communication is among the most important things in a relationship, and if either of you had trouble communicating with the other (and indeed it seems that both of you did), it becomes very difficult to continue moving forward. My best advice to you is simply to follow your heart and do what you truly believe to be correct. Do not place any blame upon your partner, and do your best to understand what it is about you that led to your decision to end this relationship, even if only temporarily.
Life can be a wicked and unpredictable journey, but rest assured that the sun will shine again come the 'morrow and that the opportunities are plenty.
All the best, Mr Cyan.
-------------------- -------------------- ┼ ··∙ long live the shroomery ∙·· ┼ ...╬π╥ ╥π╬...
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citricacidx
FunGuy
Registered: 07/23/07
Posts: 9,027
Loc: GA
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: I once had this girlfriend... [Re: Mr Cyan]
#9633150 - 01/18/09 05:24 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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you did the mature thing.
And it's not like you broke up with her for another girl, or she cheated on you. Long Distance relationships are never easy. I agree that you both need time to learn about yourselves separate of each other.
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Mr Cyan
3
Registered: 09/27/08
Posts: 626
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Re: I once had this girlfriend... *DELETED* [Re: geokills]
#9633166 - 01/18/09 05:27 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Post deleted by Mr CyanReason for deletion: lol
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Mr Cyan
3
Registered: 09/27/08
Posts: 626
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Re: I once had this girlfriend... *DELETED* [Re: Mr Cyan]
#9633185 - 01/18/09 05:29 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Post deleted by Mr CyanReason for deletion: delete
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Hendostan
Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 4,444
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Re: I once had this girlfriend... [Re: Mr Cyan]
#9633203 - 01/18/09 05:32 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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personally, i'm impressed that you didn't engage in the endless mindgames that the ending of a relationship can initiate. it seems you clearly knew what was happening, and what needed to happen for the two of you to be happy. try to put her actions and lack of words in perspective. she is only 16, and has never had to deal with a situation like this before. i definitely sucked at it when i was 16, experiencing the loss of love for the first time. i'm guessing its not that she's incapable of opening up to you, she just doesn't know how to handle the situation. from what i've experienced, a relationship is only as successful as the self-knowledge each person brings into it, and not many people really know themselves at such a young age. i surely didn't at 16 or 19, and i still have much to learn at 25. it's all a learning experience, and you'll both be better for it. good luck
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Syle
Kenai Sigh
Registered: 10/16/05
Posts: 6,678
Loc: WA
Last seen: 1 year, 21 days
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Re: I once had this girlfriend... [Re: Mr Cyan]
#9633210 - 01/18/09 05:33 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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long distance rarely works. i know from experience.
-------------------- https://kenaisigh.bandcamp.com/ <- Just completed the 2021 RPM challenge for February - An EP in one month (5 songs or 20 minutes). Check it out!
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Mr Cyan
3
Registered: 09/27/08
Posts: 626
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Re: I once had this girlfriend... *DELETED* [Re: Hendostan]
#9633281 - 01/18/09 05:42 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Post deleted by Mr CyanReason for deletion: delete
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kriminalelement
"jesus wept."
Registered: 09/26/07
Posts: 1,201
Loc: Ay! los popos estan aqui!
Last seen: 13 years, 8 months
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Re: I once had this girlfriend... [Re: Mr Cyan]
#9633774 - 01/18/09 06:51 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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wow dude... it sounds like you broke up with her because she was in a bad mood and you totally freaked out about it. i think both of you were pretty immature in this situation, but her moreso because she couldn't communicate. But most adolescents can't, so you shouldn't hold it against her. good luck finding another hot 16 year old to fuck.
-------------------- While there is a lower class, I am in it While there is a criminal element, I am of it While there is a soul in prison, I am not free. Eugene V Debs
Edited by kriminalelement (01/18/09 06:52 PM)
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Mr Cyan
3
Registered: 09/27/08
Posts: 626
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Re: I once had this girlfriend... *DELETED* [Re: kriminalelement]
#9634825 - 01/18/09 09:39 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Post deleted by Mr CyanReason for deletion: delete
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thedudenj
Man of the Woods
Registered: 08/18/04
Posts: 14,684
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Re: I once had this girlfriend... [Re: Mr Cyan]
#9634970 - 01/18/09 10:04 PM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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dude when i was 18 and had a 16 yearold i totally broke up with her while at college it totally wasnt woking cause she was an emo. the we totally still had sex for a while after. now im too old for 16 year olds but the sad thing is i totally see people my age with em
-------------------- "You all are just puppets... You have no heart...and cannot feel any pain..."" you may think thats pain you feel but you must have a heart to feel true pain and that pain wont be yours
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Mr Cyan
3
Registered: 09/27/08
Posts: 626
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Re: I once had this girlfriend... *DELETED* [Re: thedudenj]
#9636035 - 01/19/09 02:28 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Post deleted by Mr CyanReason for deletion: delete
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truekimbo2
Cya later, friends.
Registered: 12/08/02
Posts: 9,234
Loc: ny
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Re: I once had this girlfriend... [Re: Mr Cyan]
#9636320 - 01/19/09 04:27 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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my advice is don't think about it so much and be tolerant of grimey emotions and thoughts.
its all chaos. behave randomly and hope for the best, the result will often be random no matter the intention or method.
my relationships don't work though, so i have no valuable opinions.
-------------------- You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.
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thedudenj
Man of the Woods
Registered: 08/18/04
Posts: 14,684
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Re: I once had this girlfriend... [Re: truekimbo2]
#9636928 - 01/19/09 08:53 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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yo you need to tap that @ss why you have to will make sense while your doing and after
-------------------- "You all are just puppets... You have no heart...and cannot feel any pain..."" you may think thats pain you feel but you must have a heart to feel true pain and that pain wont be yours
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druqs
ALKALOIDOHOLIC
Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 8,862
Last seen: 5 months, 25 days
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Re: I once had this girlfriend... [Re: thedudenj]
#9636988 - 01/19/09 09:12 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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i had a girlfriend once, but she died soon afterwards.
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Mr Cyan
3
Registered: 09/27/08
Posts: 626
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Re: I once had this girlfriend... [Re: druqs]
#9637009 - 01/19/09 09:19 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
mycelismymind said: i had a girlfriend once, but she died soon afterwards.
That would be difficult to deal with, I'm sorry, man.
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geokills
∙∙∙∙☼ º¿° ☼∙∙∙∙
Registered: 05/08/01
Posts: 23,544
Loc: city of angels
Last seen: 8 hours, 15 minutes
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Re: I once had this girlfriend... [Re: Mr Cyan]
#9637020 - 01/19/09 09:21 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Don't place too much stock in the couple of snide remarks people are giving you regarding the sexual aspect of a relationship, they obviously don't know (or don't care to respect) the reason discussions like these often arise.
Quote:
Mr Cyan said:
Thanks for the advice. & yes, I did have a guard up. I knew I was in love with her, & I could tell she loved me from the affection she showed, though I couldn't bring myself to actually say the words for a couple of different reasons. Your right, this is my side of the story. Sadly, I don't know much about her side, because as I said, she had a difficult time sharing her true feelings. I think, & in a way, hope she will contact me in the next week. Do you guy's think I should let her contact me, or I should contact her? I feel that she should contact me, because I told her basically everything I had to tell, but I think she still has things to tell me. This makes me think I should wait for her to contact me... but what do you guys think?
It doesn't really matter what we think. What is right for any of us may not be right for you. Of utmost importance here are your own feelings, intention and desire. It is natural to feel loss with a hint of despair after the ending of a relationship (no matter how amicable), but if you feel that this relationship is truly worth preserving, you ought not to hesitate in taking action to do so. Even if your actions do not lead to a rekindling of affairs, you will know that you did what you felt was right at the time.
On the other hand, if you can accept the fact that willfully distancing yourself from her may lead to the two of you never becoming intimate again, then take your time. A poor relationship should not be preserved, but remember that even great relationships have their ups and downs. Only you know what should be done. Act with consideration toward your deepest feelings no matter what anyone else may think, and you may be lucky enough to live your life without regret.
-------------------- -------------------- ┼ ··∙ long live the shroomery ∙·· ┼ ...╬π╥ ╥π╬...
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Mr Cyan
3
Registered: 09/27/08
Posts: 626
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Re: I once had this girlfriend... *DELETED* [Re: Mr Cyan]
#9637082 - 01/19/09 09:37 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Post deleted by Mr CyanReason for deletion: delete
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Mr Cyan
3
Registered: 09/27/08
Posts: 626
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Re: I once had this girlfriend... *DELETED* [Re: Mr Cyan]
#9637107 - 01/19/09 09:43 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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Post deleted by Mr CyanReason for deletion: delete
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Kukaracha
Cat wannabe
Registered: 12/18/08
Posts: 1,682
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Re: I once had this girlfriend... [Re: thedudenj]
#9637132 - 01/19/09 09:48 AM (15 years, 2 months ago) |
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You kicked her because she was confused and sad about you being so far, because of her passionate love?
I'm sorry, that's what I see.
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