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Anonymous #1
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my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane
#9441754 - 12/16/08 02:40 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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she told me she quit and just last week she come home and she looked high, i subsequently asked her if she smoked as she was acting suspicious. she inherently denied any wrong doing and then i asked when the last time she smoked was and she said summer. then i talk to my friend who hangs out with her all the time and she told me she smokes all the godam time. so i feel betrayed and i dont no what to do. i care much more about the lying behind my back then anything. i also found out that she took some of my herb and gave it to a friend, just a small amount. now i completely lost her trust and am questioning our relationship. what is a man to do, we have been together for a long time.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane [Re: Anonymous #1]
#9441783 - 12/16/08 02:51 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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Why the fuck would you tell your GF to quit if you still have some? WTF is wrong with you? Why wouldn't you want to smoke with your GF? There better be a good reason for this.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane [Re: Anonymous #2]
#9441784 - 12/16/08 02:52 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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because she has terrible anxiety... and the point is she lied to me not what she did
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Anonymous #2
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Re: my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane [Re: Anonymous #1]
#9441822 - 12/16/08 03:08 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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IME, consistent anxiety with weed generally points to some issue in personal life which needs resolving. If she told you she quit but she just goes and does it behind your back I'd guess it's an issue relating to you. Try talking to her about her feelings and what happens to her when she's high. Don't treat the anxiety like an enemy, because it's a part of her.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane [Re: Anonymous #2]
#9441835 - 12/16/08 03:12 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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Wow. That's probably the best advice I've ever seen on this forum.
/goldstar
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Anonymous #1
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Re: my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane [Re: Anonymous #2]
#9441841 - 12/16/08 03:15 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #2 said: IME, consistent anxiety with weed generally points to some issue in personal life which needs resolving. If she told you she quit but she just goes and does it behind your back I'd guess it's an issue relating to you. Try talking to her about her feelings and what happens to her when she's high. Don't treat the anxiety like an enemy, because it's a part of her.
I've talked to her about it multiple times and she agreed never to do it, theres no excuse for her to do something like that behind my back. It doesn't matter how bad i treat her you should always stay honest, however i do treat her exceptionally good. I give her other drugs to compensate too this dishonesty is way worse than anything i have ever done to her. how can i ever trust her again, i cant.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane [Re: Anonymous #1]
#9441847 - 12/16/08 03:18 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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I'm telling you to understand the underlying source of her anxiety. Weed doesn't cause anxiety ab initio, it just amplifies underlying anxious thoughts and can cause them to get out of control. If you've really done your best to understand where those anxious thoughts come from, try asking her why she would smoke behind your back even if weed causes her anxiety.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane [Re: Anonymous #2]
#9441867 - 12/16/08 03:24 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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Its obvious why she did it, she enjoys being high like anybody else. But what do people do when they find out the person they have loved for a very long time is not that person. she is somebody else, she has been doing things without my knowledge and then lying to cover it up, how am i supposed to go on now. now i will always be suspicious and paranoid, should i just end it, we are living together...
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Anonymous #2
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Re: my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane [Re: Anonymous #1]
#9441877 - 12/16/08 03:27 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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Well, I was trying to help you understand your GF, but it looks like the problem you initially posted about was your own refusal to accept that somebody else loves to smoke the ganj and refuses to give it up... when it's obvious you yourself do too! Give me a fucking break. Promises are always fake, they only last until circumstances break them. Didn't you know that?
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Anonymous #2
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Re: my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane [Re: Anonymous #2]
#9441882 - 12/16/08 03:27 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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If you want your GF to quit that bad, then quit with her. Otherwise stop squealing about it, you sound like an asshole.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane [Re: Anonymous #2]
#9441884 - 12/16/08 03:29 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #2 said: Well, I was trying to help you understand your GF, but it looks like the problem you initially posted about was your own refusal to accept that somebody else loves to smoke the ganj and refuses to give it up... when it's obvious you yourself do too! Give me a fucking break. Promises are always fake, they only last until circumstances break them. Didn't you know that?
It is regardless of the love for the plant, if your lover makes a promise no matter how absurd they should stick with it. For instance yes i love ganja too, but i would never ever promise i would quit UNLESS i new for sure i could do it. making false promises is fucked up, why promise something knowing you wont follow through.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane [Re: Anonymous #1]
#9441895 - 12/16/08 03:32 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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If your anal-retentive promise-mongering is reason enough to break up with your GF then just go and fucking do it. Why are you whining at us about it? If you want a shoulder to cry on then go to the Pub.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane [Re: Anonymous #2]
#9441940 - 12/16/08 03:53 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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yes because i expect a promise kept I'm a promise-monger
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Anonymous #3
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Re: my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane [Re: Anonymous #1]
#9441947 - 12/16/08 03:56 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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Ok, rereading your initial post. She says she quit ganja a week ago. She comes home, presumably high, and you feel betrayed.
I see how you may be concerned for her because of this anxiety deal. If you're so concerned, why talk to friends about it. Talk to her about it. I mean, what the fuck. You've been together a long time. She's her own person and makes the best decisions for herself - not you.
You actually do kind of sound like an overbearing asshole. If your girlfriend smoking pot is the only "problem" you guys have in your relationship then you're sittin pretty fuckin pretty if you love each other.
(She needs to get rid of you, though.)
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Anonymous #1
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Re: my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane [Re: Anonymous #3]
#9441960 - 12/16/08 04:11 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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actually she quite a long time ago, and we have had this conversation a plethora of times. i would like you to treat your gf like an angel and then have her betray you, then ill call you an asshole. ya that sounds logical
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Anonymous #3
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Re: my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane [Re: Anonymous #1]
#9441967 - 12/16/08 04:16 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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What are you, fucking twelve? How are you betrayed?
Did she fuck your brother? Your buddy? Did she steal from you? Has she just been stringing you along all this time? Is she using you?
She's just doing what she wants to do. Who the fuck are you to infringe on her right to do whatever she wants with her body?
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Anonymous #2
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Re: my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane [Re: Anonymous #3]
#9441969 - 12/16/08 04:20 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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Ditto, most of my past girlfriends have betrayed me in far worse ways than this.
OP, you sound like you're going out of your way to find a reason to be upset with your GF. Maybe your GF senses this and gets anxiety when she's high because of it.
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Anonymous #4
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Re: my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane [Re: Anonymous #1]
#9441982 - 12/16/08 04:28 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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this would really suck if she has made you quit as in pussy whipped and then gets stoned behind your back and thinks of you
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Anonymous #1
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Re: my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane [Re: Anonymous #3]
#9441992 - 12/16/08 04:36 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #3 said: What are you, fucking twelve? How are you betrayed?
Did she fuck your brother? Your buddy? Did she steal from you? Has she just been stringing you along all this time? Is she using you?
She's just doing what she wants to do. Who the fuck are you to infringe on her right to do whatever she wants with her body?
first of all yes she did steal from me. and second, if i were infringing on any of her rights then she shouldn't have agreed that she would conform to the cessation of smoking. who in the right mind agrees to stop doing something they believe they should be able to do, why don't they just say its my right and i wont stop, instead of agreeing and then lying.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: my gf has been having an affair on me with marry jane [Re: Anonymous #2]
#9441995 - 12/16/08 04:39 AM (15 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #2 said: Ditto, most of my past girlfriends have betrayed me in far worse ways than this.
OP, you sound like you're going out of your way to find a reason to be upset with your GF. Maybe your GF senses this and gets anxiety when she's high because of it.
i would love to not be upset with her, everything was going hunky dorey until this. i would much rather not have this happening, why would i try to be upset, that defies most mans ambitions
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