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InvisibleR10tGuNn3r

Registered: 08/06/08
Posts: 674
Friend problems... PLEASE HELP shed some light on wtf?
    #9420341 - 12/12/08 06:32 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

So.. I've had this friend for 5 or 6 years now.. and ever since he started dating this girl he's been acting like a prick.. We first met in high school.. and have been the best of friends since.. we rented a house together for a while.. and he's had to stay on my couch because he's gotten kicked out numerous times.. the last time he lived on my couch for 3 or 4 months.. and i was cool about it.. he started dating this girl... and eventually moved into his own place and got a job even.. which was awesome because i had my home to myself again and he had someone.. (which is good for him because he had his heart broken and he's not exactly brad pit) this was about a year ago.. and ever since he's been in little contact as possible... for the past year.. what little contact we have had has almost always ended up with him in this "my shit is better than yours" or "why don't you get a job" shit...

a little foresight into why i don't have a job might be necessary.. when i was a dumb ass little kid i dropped out of high school... now i am 21 and i am a full time student enrolled in one of the most prestigious.. hard to get into.. and hard to pass.. automotive programs in the country.. (im also class president :P) but i quit my job i had to get my high school diploma almost a year ago.. i had a job for a few months over the summer and i quit that to return to college.. basically i live off of my financial aid..

I've been trying to keep my friendship with this guy because despite what his 12yr old Asian boyfriend thinks of me (not literally but if you get a mental image that's what she looks like) i haven't ever talked to her much because shes quiet.. especially around me.. but i was checking in to see how she was doing the other day and i find some bullshit blog about how she is SOO sick of people who don't have jobs living in the lap of luxury.. and how she's a real American because she works for what is hers.. and she never has to rely on anyone else's money to get by...  blah blah blah disrespect, contempt, and disdain..

this pissed me off.. i almost come unglued but i managed not to.. i left her a message.. equally disrespectful but 100% true.. about how she's never had to work for anything.. and i didn't have to listen to her shit until she moved out of her parents house.. and her parents didn't pay for her food, cellphone, housing, vehicle, and whatever else that she enjoys at her parents expense.. and that even her boyfriend enjoys having his parents pay for his car, insurance, and cellphone.. and when she moves out and her parents aren't there for her anymore she will realize how naive she is..

well.. apparently i pissed my buddy off by talking to his girlfriend like this.. but he wasn't talking to me.. so.. i confronted him on the situation.. since it wasnt going to get solved by the cold shoulder approach he was giving me..

I wrote:
[gradient:#F21B3B,#]I know you're pissed off because of what i posted on ***'s blog. I was waiting to see if you were going to say something, but i guess you're not. Here's the deal, I'm sick of having to TRY to be your guys' friend, and I'm even more sick of trying to ignore all of the disrespect. Thats not the first time I've seen or heard comments like that from both of you, and I know your words even when they come out of someone else's mouth. I've know you for too long. I'm glad that you're finally doing well for yourself in your own place with a good job and a girlfriend, but that doesn't give you the right to judge anyone, and she hasn't ever had to struggle for anything in her life so she doesn't even know what hardship is. My point of this whole thing, %%%%, is we go back a while. Through out our friendship we've both seen hard times, and we've always been there for one another. I don't know how many times you've stayed for extended periods of time living on my couch because your parents kicked you out, or stopped paying for your flight school. In fact, you first met *** while you were staying on my couch without a job. It didn't seem to bother her then, why is she so quick to judge me for it? I'm glad that you are making plans so that you don't ever have to see hard times again, but so am i. The reason i quit Quality Bumper was so i could go back and get my high school diploma, and the reason i quit Circle K is to start going to college. If worrying about about my financial situation is all you two have to worry about then you must have it all figured out, and if how I'm trying to struggle through school WITHOUT my parents support is worthy of yours and ***'s disrespect then you aren't the people i thought you were. I find it hilarious how I've tried to be nice to *** since you met her. Tried to make her feel good about hanging out when we first met. Took a day to drive to mesa, evaluate her car, and even drive your truck back so you could ride with her, worked on her car countless times and haven't even asked for so much as a thank you. She isn't financially independent, her parents still pay her bills, and she probably wont be because she's going to move from her parents to your house, and yet, she'll live off of her parents until she moves in with you, and hang out with strippers that do coke and ecstasy and throw lingerie parties, and have the audacity to judge me. I have 3 more months left living here, so lets try to keep it as peaceful as possible, but I'm done TRYING. Its either going to happen or its not, and its on your end.[/gradient]

He goes on to say:[gradient:#5C7FF2,#]
first thing is first... if u want to talk disrespect, almost everything u have in tht apt is a big slap in th face to me and every other working american... i work 40hr a week and cant afford the life u live... i guess u can call it jealousy tht i dont hold th mental capacity to work the system as u have... and dont start on *** not knowing what its like to go thru hard times... she slept on the ground of her aunts family's 2 bedroom apt till she was 9 y/o, her parents were born in africa in a work camp, she pays for everything hers and her brother's, and she doesnt enjoy half the luxuries u take for granted. So when she comes here, its like living a 5star hotel to her... and when ^R10t^ and ^R10t's WIFE^ come home after a long day of shopping preceded by th day of napping, its kind of a spit and slap in th face combo to both of us... u'd think sumone who has been out on their own since 16 wud figure out that its time to grow up and drop the high school bullshit. call me pretentious or elitist, but i am proud to know that everything that is mine is mine because i put th blood/sweat /tears into something and made it happen...


PS we dont pay our tuitions through parents/loans.. she paid for it HS and got a scholarship and i pay cash for my classes. parents wont give two pennies to rub together for school because i was still a immature little shit who didnt know the worth of a dollar[/gradient]

I wrote: [gradient:#F21B3B,#]
what exactly are you jealous of %%%? what do i have that is SOO extravagant that constitutes jealousy!? you're naive if envy me or anything that i have. I've had the same stuff since i moved out of my moms, almost everything that i have gotten since then has been second hand, used, or at some extreme discount that i couldn't pass up. The few things that i have gotten and bought new are few and far between but things that i pride. dont patronize me with your "i work 40 hrs and cant afford the life you live" bullshit.. I've been living on the fringes of hunger and cant afford to drive to a job for two weeks even if i got one. not to mention i haven't had insurance or other amenities for over 6 months. so what are you REALLY jealous of? I know you understand the concept of debt, are you jealous of my debt too?

I will start on *** because she doesn't know me or my situation well enough to judge me. She repeats everything that you tell her. I don't care what her life was like growing up. I had a fucked up life too, but she has never had to deal with making a decision between having electricity or having food. she has never had to worry about how she's going to pay rent with no job. She does NOT know what its like to struggle no matter how she was raised because she's never been alone where no one has her back.

All you're doing is kicking us while we're down and taking stabs at us behind our backs. you hold everything over us and constantly show nothing but disrespect. who needs to drop the high school bullshit?[/gradient]

He says: [gradient:#5C7FF2,#]
any of these supposed hard time u hide behind are all of ur own doing.. y is it that u have to choose between electricity or food??? beyond the obvious (not having a job) maybe because u spend what little money u get ur hands on to useless commodities (aka paintball gun, mushrooms, camping)... add up everything u spent on that crap and i think u'd have PLENTY of money to live on... i dont have time for this right now.. i have to go back to work... its obvious this is not going to be worked out amicably so its over, and we both think we came out on top so lets leave it at tht...[/gradient]

so my final message to him is this: [gradient:#F21B3B,#]
Your right. Im sick of this. Since you seem to dislike me and the way i live my life it wont bother you to stay out of it then. I dont even want you to acknowledge that we even know each other. Maby some day i will be "worthy" of your respect but until that changes i dont need you around if your going to judge me. [/gradient]

Why is he acting like this? I don't really want to a friend over some dumb bullshit like this... but on the same note.. i don't tolerate disrespect.. and were we still in high school it would be a sad day for someone who talked to me like that.. but we all grow up so.. any input on this situation that might help me understand where he's coming from.. or what i have done that is making him feel so threatened by me.. or what the fuck ever.. i don't understand it at all..

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OfflineBen18
Male

Registered: 08/24/05
Posts: 497
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
Re: Friend problems... PLEASE HELP shed some light on wtf? [Re: R10tGuNn3r]
    #9427081 - 12/13/08 09:38 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

Wow to say the least.

Hate to say it like this but friends come and go, he or you may have just grown out of each other.
or you could call him up and burn on down and say what you just said here to him....:getstoned:

Either way you should burn one. :bigblunt:

Peace good luck!

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