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boxcarguy07
Uno
Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 3,942
Loc: SC
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
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Dogs and Cats
#9379729 - 12/06/08 03:26 PM (15 years, 3 months ago) |
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DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage..
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
-------------------- Music doesn't stop at the ears when it begins at the heart. "Sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon the idle seashore of the mind." -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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Gumby
Fishnologist
Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656
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LOL. I'm gonna email that to a few people. Thanks man
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supra
computerEnthusiast
Registered: 10/26/03
Posts: 6,446
Loc: TEXAS
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
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haha, good stuff, my dog is just like that too.
But i let my cats go out and roam freely, they continue to come back. At my old house when i lived outside of town, well in town, but not a big city, she would bring home mice and birds for me that she had killed and leave them on the doorstep, aggrivating, but supposedly they do it to supply their owners with food, as they are trying to be a part of the 'family' and are showing their care.
Meh, cats are stuck up but they are alright. I know have 2, and i swear one of them is a dog. He always smells of dirt from rolling around in it outside, comes when you call him, sleeps in the middle of the floor sometimes instead of finding a nice hiding place...odd odd cat.
peace
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boxcarguy07
Uno
Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 3,942
Loc: SC
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
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Re: Dogs and Cats [Re: supra]
#9379791 - 12/06/08 03:35 PM (15 years, 3 months ago) |
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Yeah my family has four cats and one of them acts just like a dog too. He's insane.
Unfortunately I'm allergic to cats, so going home always sucks soooooooo hard. What kind of parents get cats when they have a kid that's allergic?
....I'm just sad I can't pet them
-------------------- Music doesn't stop at the ears when it begins at the heart. "Sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon the idle seashore of the mind." -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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FunGuyFan
Stranger
Registered: 02/28/03
Posts: 1,171
Loc: Hack Hack Cough Cough
Last seen: 13 years, 4 months
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I laugh every time I read that. Thanks!
-------------------- "Don't touch me while your laughing maniacally"
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