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Offlinesadspacemonkey
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candy flipping in the woods
    #8693665 - 07/28/08 06:54 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

Ok this trip report is kind of long- I just wanted to give a feel for the whole crazy experience. I ate one hit of acid and one E pill at a party in the woods which maybe wasn't so smart of me...

I feel unusually self-conscious when I first get there since I've never been to a party like this before. Strange worries fill my head- "Are my shorts too short? My friend called them booty shorts. Am I showing too much booty? Will I get these borrowed leg warmers dirty while dancing on all this dirt? " The evening is not off to a good start, but thankfully the evening is almost over. The sun starts to rise, a dim light washing over the whole scene. An attractive girl breaks through the crowd, coming straight towards me with a big friendly smile. She says something along the lines of "Hello! It's so wonderful to see you! You're so beautiful!" It's such a sudden, open display of kindness I feel something loosen inside of me - gratitude and love start to flow. "Thank you so are you!" We dance together for a bit.

After that encounter I feel my eyes clear up a bit. I can see past my own nose. I notice some girls wearing much less than me, so why worry about booty shorts? Besides, even if I am horribly flawed, so what? Could I be that way and have fun with it? Yes I am one of those insecure girls with daddy issues dancing around on drugs in the middle of the woods- HAH! At that moment I felt distanced from that whole game and started dancing more intensely. Started to trip a that point, and saw all of nature moving with an even intenser glory- the trees and the clouds all had their own individual dignity, the edges of each whirling and swirling.

After dancing for awhile, I headed back to the tent to refresh myself. This is when things got a little out of hand. There was a group of people sitting just outside of the tent. I tried to follow their conversation but soon felt lost. Everything became very dark around me although the sun just rose. I don't remember most of what was said but one guy I believe was talking about a girl who he fell for at a party. She was beautiful, she was his dream girl, he thought they really connected that night but they never spoke again. His dream girl, this beautiful goddess, she had a light up hula hoop. The girl with the light up hula hoop. His dream girl made of dreams. Why didn't she talk to him again? His dreams. Her light up hula hoop. Words packed upon words packed upon words till it became an incoherent ocean of madness- right up until the guy sitting next to me turned to me slowly and said so clearly it was disturbing: "trust no one."

It got worse after that. Bits of conversation came through a patchwork of words jambled into something of my own creation. Was I awake or asleep? I was scared, I had to go. I felt saddened by all this romantic delusion, this suffering for something that isn't real, how childish it all felt, how silly, how artificial. The dream girl with the light up hula hoop. As I got out of my chair and walked away without looking back I could hear his voice say "and I never saw that girl again."

Back to the dance floor but I am still bathed in darkness I can't escape. I'm blinded. I literally can't see with my physical eyes. I move with instinct. And I dance- I give myself up entirely. No more delusions, no more words, no more ideas, no more philosophy, just this. Shine a light all around so nothing escapes. Accept and know all - something inside me popped. No place to hide, awareness 360 degrees. I offer myself up completely to the moment, to the all.

I'm honestly not sure how to explain what happened during this time.  All thoughts ceased to be - I could not see nor hear at this point and yet my essence merged with life so intensely I shot into space - I was following secret messages I could understand not through logic but through another means entirely that I cannot put into words. I was no longer in me, I was everywhere. No pain no pleasure but something greater than both.

Then I awoke, my eyes opened again and I was dancing with this really happy kooky dude. It was literally as though I was thrown back into my body as I was dancing with this incredibly happy looking guy. His entire being was gorgeous, in impossible technicolor, brighter and sharper than anything I've ever seen. Life in HD. He says something beautiful to me, absolutely beautiful which I can't remember, but I was convinced that something greater than both of us was speaking through him. Then he vanished and I kept dancing and saw around me paradise. I only felt this way in my most beautiful dreams I had so many years ago, when I was a child. There was a familiarity to this feeling, something long forgotten yet warm and safe and known. I was full and happy, working my body with devotion and loving every second of it, in complete bliss. Everything around me was bright, perfect even in the imperfections, everything moving in rhythm. My bare feet were completely connected to the earth and its aliveness shot through them and out my arms, the top of my head. I was part of the scorched earth, the trees, the sky. I was intimate with all. I could see the air was alive. I watched tiny spots of light wiggling through the air. I could see people's energy as they moved. Some had more clear cut intense energy surrounding them than others.

The sun burned brighter and as I felt its power my dance became devoted to the sun. Something again came over me and I felt as though forces all around me urged my dance, made it beautiful and alive, determined my every movement. I was no longer in charge nor was I out of control. Everything was so perfectly balanced it gave me intense pleasure to move in accordance to the universe. I had no desire to stop. But I could feel my body nearing exhaustion so I headed to the tent for a break.

I entered the tent. This blonde dude who was hanging outside came in to join me. I had no problem with this as I felt a very good energy coming from him. We had a conversation and it didn't take long for me to feel enamored- he was smart, funny, a good listener. We just met but I felt so comfortable, but something in the back of my mind nagged "I'm reeaaally fucked up right now, so don't get carried away." I'm also in a long distance relationship so I didn't want to enjoy his company too much for fear I would be tempted to do something I would later regret. But I loved listening to him speak, and as I did I started to trip intensely again. As I watched his face, it moved and shone with an astonishing aliveness. In an instant, I could see part of his physicality rotting, his muscles and skin dying and in that same moment giving birth again, fresh, new beautiful. It was at once terrifying and breathtakingly gorgeous. I felt myself wanting more and more to open up to him. He was so interested and encouraging of every word I said it somehow felt unnatural. Maybe I'm not used to people being that nice to me, maybe it was the fact I didn't want to feel tempted. In any case, I think he's probably flirting with me so I excuse myself and head back to the dance floor.

I run into the kooky happy guy from before and he tells me how much fun he had dancing with me. I feel grateful that the bad spot of my experience turned into something positive. Perhaps something guided me to a better place. My trip seems to be winding down now. I notice some people cutting up a watermelon and it looks delicious but I feel hesitant to go up and ask for some. Out of nowhere, the blonde dude I was speaking to inside the tent comes and cuts off a piece and hands it to me. We chat a bit and at one point he asks "so where does your boyfriend live?" I feel shocked since I don't remember mentioning I had a boyfriend. And the question implied he lived somewhere other than here, which is true. (I could have mentioned him and not recalled doing so considering how messed up I was, but I doubt it.) I tell him where my boyfriend lives - a middle of nowhere mountainy kind of area. He says "oh so he must be one of those tough guys." "Not really," I say. "But the area he lives in is so beautiful...there's so much nature, just wild nature. Like here." Then something inside me that clicks and again I feel a tug on my heart strings so I head back to the tent. As I leave him, the lyrics of the music suddenly gets very loud - "you only get one chance at love..." It was very strange, since most of the music that night was free of lyrics and vocals. It felt at this point as though my mind or the drugs or both were playing tricks on me.

I keep quiet for the rest of the party, mostly observing all the crazy characters around me and the interplay of all their personalities. The sun is scorching by now and all I want is rain. And rain we get- it starts storming right after we leave the party. It rains so intensely it's dangerous to drive in and we have to stop at a friend's house for awhile. At one point a huge clap of thunder hits right outside the house and scares the shit out of me. I'm still tripping and will continue to trip until I hit the sack hours later.

It was an unforgettable experience overall. Way more intense than I expected or would have liked in a public place, but I was fortunate it ended well. Won't be quite so daring in the future...


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"I can't be told by anyone how to live. If I said to the minister 'Move from your home' he would think I was mad." Bushman : Botswana

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OfflineSydBarrett420
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Re: candy flipping in the woods [Re: sadspacemonkey]
    #8697633 - 07/29/08 01:59 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

sounds like an awesome time!
i live in florida and we call candy flipping "trolling" down here and its definately on my to-do list.
i love that feeling when you feel as if just one with the universe, you are no longer "you" but everything.
:smile: good read!
:mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2:


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“Throughout human history, as our species has faced the frightening, terrorizing fact that we do not know who we are, or where we are going in this ocean of chaos, it has been the authorities, the political, the religious, the educational authorities who attempted to comfort us by giving us order, rules, regulations, informing, forming in our minds their view of reality. To think for yourself you must question authority and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable, open-mindedness; chaotic, confused, vulnerability to inform yourself. Think for yourself. Question authority.”
- Dr. Timothy Leary

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Offlinesadspacemonkey
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Registered: 11/01/06
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Re: candy flipping in the woods [Re: SydBarrett420]
    #8701712 - 07/30/08 11:25 AM (15 years, 7 months ago)

yes that 'one with the universe' feeling is amazing- with or without drugs!

thanks for reading <3


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"I can't be told by anyone how to live. If I said to the minister 'Move from your home' he would think I was mad." Bushman : Botswana

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InvisibleSHiZNO
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Registered: 03/14/03
Posts: 1,467
Re: candy flipping in the woods [Re: sadspacemonkey]
    #8702412 - 07/30/08 01:50 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

Good read


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...

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Offlinexaeviax
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Re: candy flipping in the woods [Re: SHiZNO]
    #8705212 - 07/30/08 11:30 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

Awesome read. Powerful stuff, I love it.


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I am a faker. Pretending along.

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Offlinesadspacemonkey
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Registered: 11/01/06
Posts: 376
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Re: candy flipping in the woods [Re: xaeviax]
    #8709421 - 07/31/08 08:49 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

thanks! glad you guys enjoyed it :smile:


--------------------

"I can't be told by anyone how to live. If I said to the minister 'Move from your home' he would think I was mad." Bushman : Botswana

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