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InRainbows
Duke
Registered: 07/17/08
Posts: 16
Last seen: 15 years, 1 month
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Pain in solar plexus?
#8649575 - 07/18/08 01:10 AM (15 years, 8 months ago) |
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The pain first started the morning after a very intense acid trip during which my friend and I had sex. At the time it was enjoyable, playful, and certainly a positive experience (we had had sex before, just never whilst tripping). There was even a time when I felt as if our bodies had become one, and I totally forgot where my friend left off and I began. It was probably one of the more emotionally intense things I had ever done.
The only problems started the next morning with said solar plexus ache. And usually after a good night on acid the next morning I feel good, happy, maybe a bit tired but this morning felt very different. I guess I would call the feeling anxiousness but I new consciously I had nothing to be anxious about. I brushed it off as a temporary effect of a strong acid trip and tried to go about business as usual.
As days went on the anxiousness persisted, but never in a worrying/obsessive thinking sort of way. More like a gut ache with combined feeling of needing-to-do-something-but-not-knowing-what-to-do sort of way.
It has now been about two months since that trip and I still cannot shake this weird feeling of pressure or tightness in my solar plexus. I have also been feeling a lot more emotionally unstable, especially in the mornings oddly enough. By nightfall things usually seem to set themselves into perspective but each time I wake up I just feel like weeping.
Even in that case I feel like I have a fairly good control over my mental state. I just can't figure out why my body feels like it has to be in fight or flight mode all of the time.
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JacquesCousteau
Being.
Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,825
Loc: Everywhere, Everytime.
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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Re: Pain in solar plexus? [Re: InRainbows]
#8650120 - 07/18/08 08:10 AM (15 years, 8 months ago) |
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Explain more about your relationship with this friend.
If I had to guess, based on the small amount of information, I would say you fell for the person.
You could well be describing the after-effects of opening the heart chakra completely to someone and then going back to a relatively isolated emotional and spiritual state.
In other words, when you share deep, cosmic, unifying sex with someone it forms an emotional bond... and if that bond is severed, it can feel like your heart is dying for a bit.
Just a guess, based on the vague information provided.
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InRainbows
Duke
Registered: 07/17/08
Posts: 16
Last seen: 15 years, 1 month
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Yes, that makes a lot of sense!
I guess we had been friends, drug buddies and sex buddies more than anything. At the time we were in a sort of open relationship but since then things had sort of died away, especially in the past month. Intellectually, and sexually close, yes. But emotionally not so much. We had a lot of fun together but I guess you could say we tried to keep our emotional side out of it so nobody got hurt in the end.
Which I guess brings me to now. In which case I don't really crave to be with said person anymore like we were before. I just would like to have those times as a good memory and move on with my life.
I guess I'm knowledgeable enough about chakras to know I'm not very knowledgeable about that area. Are there some things I can do to help myself?
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JacquesCousteau
Being.
Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,825
Loc: Everywhere, Everytime.
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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Re: Pain in solar plexus? [Re: InRainbows]
#8650917 - 07/18/08 12:28 PM (15 years, 8 months ago) |
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The best thing you can do to help yourself is to accept and experience the presence of the pain, instead of trying to deny it.
Sit quietly with your self. Feel what it feels like to be in your heart center. Move your internal focus there. If it hurts, allow yourself to experience that hurt instead of shying away. It might make you want to cry. If you can, go for it. It's okay. It's all just an experience, whether it hurts or not.
Pain is not suffering... suffering is what happens when we react to pain with a form of denialistic resistance. We suffer because we are not willing to experience what our life is in that moment. We deny the now, and so we suffer.
Allow your pain. Accept it. Realize that the pain you feel is subtly separate from the experience of suffering. See how they connect, despite the separation. See how the suffering is a product of your resistance to the experience of pain. We only suffer when we are not HERE AND NOW... and when your here and now contains pain, it can be harder to stay there.
When we open our hearts we open ourselves to the spectrum of emotional experience. There is pain to be experienced, but that is just what is on your plate right now. There is an entire spectrum of emotion to be experienced. If you accept and allow the current sensations, you will subconsciously work through the "baggage" that caused it and move through the experience of pain and on to greener pastures of the heart.
Opening the heart is a process... you open it up and experience something... if you get scared, it snaps shut again and you have to start over. If you can face what you fear and embrace ALL experiences (even those painful) in the heart, you will keep it open.
That's about all I know, from my personal experiences with trying to maintain an open heart chakra.
Hope it helps.
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InRainbows
Duke
Registered: 07/17/08
Posts: 16
Last seen: 15 years, 1 month
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Thank you. I think you are saying precisely what I need to hear.
I think shying away from emotions has become my automatic defense system in times of vulnerability, and I definitely need to address that.
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JacquesCousteau
Being.
Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,825
Loc: Everywhere, Everytime.
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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Re: Pain in solar plexus? [Re: InRainbows]
#8654141 - 07/19/08 05:41 AM (15 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
InRainbows said: Thank you. I think you are saying precisely what I need to hear.
I think shying away from emotions has become my automatic defense system in times of vulnerability, and I definitely need to address that.
Very glad to help. I really appreciated your openness and willingness to consider what I had to say.
It's a normal developmental step to use denial of emotion as a coping tool. Many choose (albeit subconsciously) to never move past this, and do not consider the heart's incredible and unrelenting strength.
It's just that, eventually, one has to get brave and start realizing that pain is not death and that we succumb to it's will far too often. If we can be with our pain, understand it, and accept it, and not end up in denialistic anguish, then a new center of strength and sureness emerges. A new seat of consciousness. A new center in which your awareness can pool comfortably and give you a perspective besides that of the thinking mind.
Instead of denying the heart for the sake of avoiding massive confusion at the hands of our emotions, we eventually learn to embrace the heart and it's strengths of conviction and courage. When one understands that pain is not suffering, there is an opportunity for a new shift, back to the freedom of vulnerability. Except, instead of being dissuaded from that state by a mind full of fear, one finds themselves instead encouraged by the support of a mind that knows it's fears are irrational. (Fear of emotion, fear of pain, fear of fear... all the same thing.)
-jC
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