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OfflineSpiritual Seeker
Nothing Matters
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Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 507
Loc: UK
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
Im so confused ....It huts my head!
    #8638588 - 07/15/08 03:57 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Sometimes im going crazy it feels like. Im torn between diffrent subjects, and diffrent activities.

There are times when i feel great and can feel Tao, Zen, Chi, ect.....Whatever you want to call it. I feel im going in the right direction in life but its Living The middle ground thats fucking with me.

I want to be very healthy.....HOwever i catch myself wanting to smoke pot or Ciggaretes sometimes.

I want to Not Care about money at all......However i want cash to buy things i need to survive and the occasional enjoyment activity.

I want to have the free will to do what i want, When i want......However I wish i had a girlfriend.


ect.....ect.

It drives me crazy guys...It really does. Life contradicts itself in so many ways. Im starting to witness what Bhuddists mean by "The middle ground".

If i Do one thing though im stuck thinking about the other. If I was smoking pot I would be dwelling on why im not doing something productive. If im doing something productive and working hard......IM wishing i could relax and smoke some pot.


Thats just an example but its taking place in so many other areas in my life its not funny. It gives me a headace and makes me deppressed sometimes :sad:

Life is tough....I just want to do it right so i end up going where i need to, to learn what i need to learn in this lifetime. Share your thoughts


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"Nothing in the world is a gift. Whatever there is to learn has to be learned the hard way."
-Don juan

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OfflineRoseM
Devil's Advocate
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Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
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Re: Im so confused ....It huts my head! [Re: Spiritual Seeker]
    #8638633 - 07/15/08 04:08 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Well, first and foremost... you are a human.

The guilt you feel for not living a perfect life is pre-programmed (You learned it before you started studying Zen) and it is of little use. You can let it go. It hardly matters.

No need to feel bad for being an imperfect human. Let everybody else feel guilty...

If you wish to study... then study... but...

If you expect to become perfect, you will fail.

And...

Don't expect your teachers to be perfect either.


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Fiddlesticks.


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Offlinefireworks_godS
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Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,855
Loc: Pandurn
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Re: Im so confused ....It huts my head! [Re: Spiritual Seeker]
    #8638640 - 07/15/08 04:10 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

You must be really confused if it huts your head. :hehehe:

Quote:

Spiritual Seeker said:
I want to be very healthy.....HOwever i catch myself wanting to smoke pot or Ciggaretes sometimes.




Smoke pot with a vaporizer and never again worry about it being unhealthy. :pimp3:


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:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:

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OfflineLion
Decadent Flower Magnate
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Registered: 09/20/05
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Re: Im so confused ....It huts my head! [Re: Rose]
    #8638901 - 07/15/08 05:08 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Cervantes said:
Well, first and foremost... you are a human.

The guilt you feel for not living a perfect life is pre-programmed (You learned it before you started studying Zen) and it is of little use. You can let it go. It hardly matters.

No need to feel bad for being an imperfect human. Let everybody else feel guilty...

If you wish to study... then study... but...

If you expect to become perfect, you will fail.

And...

Don't expect your teachers to be perfect either.


Fucking well put! :hippie:


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“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”

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Invisibledblaney
Human Being

Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
Re: Im so confused ....It huts my head! [Re: Spiritual Seeker]
    #8638998 - 07/15/08 05:31 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Sounds like you're starting to be really honest with yourself. And for that itself, kudos and much respect. It can be very challenging.

There is really no need to do anything to resolve your inner contradictions and cognitive dissonance. Just try to remain present with your thoughts, feelings, and desires as they arise. IME, sometimes you will lean to one side, sometimes to the other. It is only through the fire of direct experience that you will start to find balance and discover what it is that you truly want in the midst of conflicting desires.

Also, an exercise I've found to be useful when I'm in the middle of conflicting desires is to simply stop trying to figure it out in my head, and to meditate on my gut - see what it is beneath the desires that I'm looking for.


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"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln

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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
jiggy
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Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
Re: Im so confused ....It huts my head! [Re: Spiritual Seeker]
    #8639060 - 07/15/08 05:47 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

I think I have been experiencing something of a similar nature lately. It runs along the lines of not seeing the cosmic joke as being so funny anymore.

There is good on both sides. there is bad on both sides, so which side is the side to choose? Choose the middle? What the fuck is that even?

For me, it's not about rights or wrongs. It's about seeing the crap in everything and the good in everything at the same time, and seeing the complete wash it all really is at the end of the day.

My husband used to talk about how we have been tending to keep jumping fences looking for greener pastures. Now, when he hears people talking about wanting to make "positive change", he tells them, "the grass is just as brown over there, you'll see."

The nature of the material plane, I don't think allows for any constant good, that is derived from and of the physical. It all goes to shit eventually. Whatever you attempt to artificially keep in a state of perfection, working against the forces of nature, you just become a slave too it. We do so much in vain and futility it isn't funny.

Some people think of the middle way as living in moderation or living in the now for the now because it's all we really have.

But the now thing, it's like building sand castles every day that just get washed away over night.

There is a constant good to be known/experienced, however, it is not of this physical plane. To be at one with it, and in need or want for nothing, you pretty much have to go out of your mind so to speak.

I keep asking myself, what's the point of being in this physical experience if that is where it ultimately takes you? "Out of it", that is.

There is no solution to the cosmic joke my friend. The best I can offer you is to relate to what you are experiencing. I know what you are experiencing and I don't know of any other way to experience this place, but to take it for it is, a tragic comedy, a living contradiction. None of it really matters and yet, it is the only real thing that matters here-life.

There is some wise guy out there with a big red nose I'd like to punch in, as my way of saying, "Thanks for laughs funny guy." :crazy2


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.

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Offlinebackfromthedead
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Re: Im so confused ....It huts my head! [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #8639151 - 07/15/08 06:08 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Choose the middle? What the fuck is that even?

I think its like The Mars Volta: Day of the Baphomets.


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Invisiblesleepy
zZzZzZzZz
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Registered: 01/17/05
Posts: 3,888
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Re: Im so confused ....It huts my head! [Re: Spiritual Seeker]
    #8639161 - 07/15/08 06:10 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

don't think too much.

you need money to survive.

smoking pot won't kill you.

its very hard to live a happy life, it takes alot of work.

one thing i find is:  I'm exactly like you.  sometimes im absolutely sure that two opposite things are true, even though its impossible.

for example, i HAVE TO GO LEFT, and I HAVE TO GO RIGHT

i can have those two thoughts right after another.  thats a simple one but they happen alot.

but if i go meditate for an hour and REALLY meditate, then everything clears up.  try it.  each day brings new challenges, so you have to meditate each day to beat them

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InvisibleSophistic Radiance
Free sVs!
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Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
Re: Im so confused ....It huts my head! [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #8639182 - 07/15/08 06:14 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

IME, a side-effect that can come with spiritual exploration aided by psychedelic drugs is the very real possibility that you will get ahead of yourself, become so consumed in flaws - both in yourself and in the environment around you - that it clouds your sight of what really matters: the now. You become consumed by the need to correct flaws, when the flaws themselves are merely an illusion, as much an illusion as the correctness you believe must be applied.

The really hard part is engaging your chi, tao, chakras, soul, or whatever you want to call it, in the now. It is possible to develop one's spirituality in disregard of the now, but ultimately, it must eventually be plugged into the now, or it will be forever worthless.

This can be done by working at the very best your ability and attitude can allow to satisfy your immediate needs as they can be perceived, without losing sight of your ultimate goal - as nebulous or inconceivable as it may appear to you now. But it's in there, and it guides you.

There are infinite ways this can be done.


--------------------
Enlil said:
You really are the worst kind of person.


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InvisibleMiddlemanM

Registered: 07/11/99
Posts: 8,399
Re: Im so confused ....It huts my head! [Re: backfromthedead]
    #8639192 - 07/15/08 06:16 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

backfromthedead said:
Choose the middle? What the fuck is that even?

I think its like The Mars Volta: Day of the Baphomets.




Yep. 'The Middle' is less than neither and more than both.


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Invisibledaytripper23
?
Male

Registered: 06/22/05
Posts: 3,595
Loc: Flag
Re: Im so confused ....It huts my head! [Re: Middleman]
    #8639246 - 07/15/08 06:30 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Is that from their new album? how is it as far as mars volta albums go?

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Offlinebackfromthedead
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Re: Im so confused ....It huts my head! [Re: Middleman]
    #8639587 - 07/15/08 07:57 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Yep. 'The Middle' is less than neither and more than both.


Rad quote.  Tis a bit Ghoulish for me, sir.:yinyang:



--------------------

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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
jiggy
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Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
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Re: Im so confused ....It huts my head! [Re: backfromthedead]
    #8639623 - 07/15/08 08:07 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

backfromthedead said:
Yep. 'The Middle' is less than neither and more than both.


Rad quote.  Tis a bit Ghoulish for me, sir.:yinyang:






To me, his quote just helps to explain to others why the OPs head hurts :lol: or should I say "huts" :wink:


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.

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Offlinebackfromthedead
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Re: Im so confused ....It huts my head! [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #8639640 - 07/15/08 08:13 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

gettinjiggywithit said:
Quote:

backfromthedead said:
Yep. 'The Middle' is less than neither and more than both.


Rad quote.  Tis a bit Ghoulish for me, sir.:yinyang:






To me, his quote just helps to explain to others why the OPs head hurts :lol: or should I say "huts" :wink:




Well Earth is Bipolar as fuck.  I've got a headache too.  Big one.  Mr. Washington says, "Here's a sword...  You best know what's up, sir."

"By our powers combined...  He is Captain Planet.  He just doesn't give a fuck sometimes."


--------------------

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InvisibleMiddlemanM

Registered: 07/11/99
Posts: 8,399
Re: Im so confused ....It huts my head! [Re: backfromthedead]
    #8639690 - 07/15/08 08:23 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

:lol:

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Offlinebackfromthedead
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Re: Im so confused ....It huts my head! [Re: Middleman]
    #8639716 - 07/15/08 08:26 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

:tongue2:


--------------------

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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
jiggy
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Registered: 07/20/04
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Re: Im so confused ....It huts my head! [Re: backfromthedead]
    #8639730 - 07/15/08 08:29 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:


Well Earth is Bipolar as fuck. 




That sums this post up for me!!!!:thumbup:


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.

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Offlinebackfromthedead
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Re: Im so confused ....It huts my head! [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #8639765 - 07/15/08 08:34 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

gettinjiggywithit said:
Quote:


Well Earth is Bipolar as fuck. 




That sums this post up for me!!!!:thumbup:




You ALL should get the Centerpointe demo disk.  Its free.  Binaural beats.  Talk of thinking in stereo.  Crazy but I think its just what is needed.  Growth of new neural pathways between hemispheres of the brain.:thumbup:


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
jiggy
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Re: Im so confused ....It huts my head! [Re: backfromthedead]
    #8640114 - 07/15/08 09:48 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

backfromthedead said:
Quote:

gettinjiggywithit said:
Quote:


Well Earth is Bipolar as fuck. 




That sums this post up for me!!!!:thumbup:




You ALL should get the Centerpointe demo disk.  Its free.  Binaural beats.  Talk of thinking in stereo.  Crazy but I think its just what is needed.  Growth of new neural pathways between hemispheres of the brain.:thumbup:




I think one needs to be hemisynched to even experience what the poster is and or understand what he is experiencing.

The issue is, where do you go from there seeing everything from that place?

It seems what is needed is a complete "hard wire" rewiring of the reasons for why we choose what we do and what motivates us.

When there were what appeared to be good choices and bad ones, smart ones and dumb ones, and advantages over others, we had reasons for why we chose what we did. We said to ourselves, "this is the "right" thing to do, this is the "smart" thing to do, this will get me "further ahead" in the game and we believed we were choosing one option over the other.

When it completely and fully dawns on you that all choices are both and none, an insignificant wash at the end of the day in the big scheme of things, what's the motivation, what use is the scale, the measuring stick?


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.

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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,063
Re: Im so confused ....It huts my head! [Re: Spiritual Seeker]
    #8640616 - 07/16/08 12:19 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

sounds baseline & smart to me
have not heard of middle ground in buddhism


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:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:

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