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InvisibleautomanM
blasted chipmunk
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Registered: 09/18/03
Posts: 8,272
Something I have been working on again *LONG READ*
    #8631353 - 07/13/08 09:13 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

I don't really expect many people to read something this long, but just in case there are a few... I'd like to know what you think.





The Clockmaker







Chapter 1




With a quick glance and a bump of the fist, Alex strides past the line and maroon velvet rope. He takes the five steps in three, the sound of the metal ringing deep like a church bell. Another small line ahead with tiny white buckets. Weapons check. Alex walks with one finger pressed against the curtains that hide the hard surface of the hall. It gives way behind the curtain and yields a little passageway that runs parallel to the main one. He shuts his eyes and feels more than hears the the bass and drums coming from the near-by main room. In this passage only lit by a deep red light at the end, he lets in the fear, something he could never do in front of a living soul. Not this place. This is his place, his home, and the place he chose for them to meet. With a long exhale, the fear retreated. Alex had spent his life trying to meet one of the nineteen. Short of an act of God, there is nothing that can drive Alex away this night. The passageway leads around the second line to the side of the metal detector where a giant man stands. His head is waxed and as he rocks from side to side in a state of being perpetually being pissed off, the red light bounces off it's black skin like a lighthouse, gleaming in this direction and that. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Alex coming up behind him. He spins around, his pursed lips break into big smile.

“Long time no see.” He said.

“Hell, Cal, I would have walked right into you if you didn't smile.” said Alex.

“Fuck You, Cracker.” Cal said.

They both laugh. Cal has a laugh nearly as hearty as his frame. That laugh has been one of the very few consistent things in Alex's life.  Alex starts to walk past Cal. As he does, Alex makes a quick movement with his right hand, not much, but enough to be noticed. Cal immediately covers his balls with both hands.

“Nu-uh, Not again.“ Cal said in mid-laugh.

“I have to make sure you are on your toes, Cal.”

He laughs again. That was how this game started. As a kid, Alex would try every way possible to make Cal laugh, turns out that a game where guys try to smack each other in the nuts always did it.

With his left hand still on guard, Cal's right hand pushes open the door. Sound pours into the hallway riding on colored waves of light.

“Stay safe in there, kid. Do you know who is in there tonight?” He said.

“I do. He is here because I invited him.”

Cal let out a little laugh.

“Right, kid. You invited him, I am a fairy princess, and that girl behind you is a virgin.”

Alex turned around to see a woman holding on to her last vestige of childhood. Some obviously used piece of jet trash with a sugar coating. Not bad to look at, but someone you definitely do not want to wake up next to.

“Alright,” Alex said. “I'll stay safe.”

Alex walks through the door and onto the platform. Looking down at a mass of flesh and heat pulsating to the music coming from the stage to the left. They sound like a Nine Inch Nails knock off, though a good one. The stairs to either side in the corners that join halfway down to the floor and fan out like a plantation house staircase from old movies Alex's mom used to watch, wiling away the final days of her sickness. The platform wrapped around the dance floor like a halo with small 2 stool tables along the back and side walls. On the other side, the platform opened up enough for eight full sized tables, but those were usually taken early by the rc, recreational chemicals, retailers. No reason to go there. Not on this night, anyways. Alex's eyes wander over the rail and into the crowd. There are many faces he doesn't recognize, but many that he still does. His eyes move right and to the back of the room. The bar stretches most of the back wall facing the stage. Alex always loved getting to the bar. There are two huge fans on each end that make getting through the hot and sweaty crowd to get a drink even more the better. Past the crowd, there are tables lined up in diamond shapes with four chairs at each table. Beyond those are the booths against the far wall. Alex looks over the familiar faces chatting away, making love, and laughing at those tables when his eyes lock with the eyes of the man in the far right corner booth.

It dawns on Alex that this man has probably been looking at him since the moment he walked into the room. He holds back the fear this time. Not now and not with this man watching. Alex turns right, keeping eye contact, with his right index finger dragging down the wall to keep direction. The man gives a nod of acknowledgment and looks down at his laptop. Alex stops for a moment, but looks down the stairs when he realizes that the man isn't going to look at him again until Alex is standing at his booth. Alex makes his way past a couple chatting and down the metal stairs and into the crowd. He can't help but move with the crowd. Fighting against the moving mass of people would never get him to the bar. The band really is playing well. Alex moves away from the stage and towards the bar. It will be easiest to get past the people if he can get away from the stage. He makes it to the end of the bar, ducks under the counter top, and gives Dana a little kiss on the cheek.

She turns with an authority she never had while they dated.

“What can I help you with, Sasha?” Dana says.

“Just making my way over to the booths.” Alex says.

“You don't want to go over there tonight, Sash.”

“Yes, I do”

“Do you know who is over there?”

“Do you?”, Alex said.

“No,” she replies “but everyone is staying away from that man in the corner. Something about him keeps the older people away and that keeps the smart people away. I think everyone else just feels the vibe and is keeping their collective distance.”

“He is a guest of mine.” Alex says. “Give him anything he asks for.”

“He hasn't asked for anything but one drink he hasn't touched, Sasha.”

Alex kisses her on both cheeks moving around her in the process. She gives him a half smile. It is obvious that she still loves him. She then gets lost in the never ending work of keeping the glasses full at the bar. Alex watches her for a moment. The way she moves, the shape of her neck and the small of her back, the way her scent lingers on even after a brief brush... in another life, Alex would have loved her very much and even though she was the coolest girl he had ever met, he didn't love her, not like the way he thought a man should love a woman.

He picksup a plastic cup, fills it with ice, and pours water from the gun that hung on the bar. Alex glances at the man. He is still looking at his laptop. Alex makes his way around the five other bartenders exchanging a quick meaningless word with each of them finally reaching the far side of the bar. He drinks deeply from the cup until the water is gone and the ice tumbles down onto his face. He throws the cup into the trash and ducks under the end of the bar. Into the crowd he moves again. Just before reaching the seating area, he feels a hand on his shoulder.

“Nix, is that you?” The man sayss.

Alex gives a little shudder at the sound of that name.

“Yeah.” Mutters Alex with a slight nod.

“Long time no see, man. What have you been up to?” He says.

“Working.” Alex says.

This was a man that went by the nick, Acorn. He was a cyber-punk too, though never a very good one. He was one of those people you see come across IRC that know enough to make the new people give them respect, but not knowing enough to really do anything. Alex was a bit ashamed that Acorn was able to place the nick “Nix” with Alex's face. Acorn must have detected that he was going to keep receiving one word answers and decided to save a bit of face.

“Well, it was good seeing you again.” Acorn says. “You should make it out to a 2600 gathering sometime. It's a blast.”

“Someday.” Alex says.

They both knew Alex didn't mean it. Acorn makes his way back to the crowd and disappears into the rhythmic pulse of sweat and flesh.

Alex immediately realizes his back is to the man in the booth. He wonders if the man is looking at him or worse, has risen to come to Alex on the floor. Alex anxiously turns around with one quick movement. The man in the booth is sitting as he had been since breaking eye contact while Alex was still on the platform. Looking at his laptop, only moving to swirl the thick glass sitting to his right on the half-round table.

Alex again starts towards the table. The music starts to speed up. Alex almost hopes that someone else would recognize him and delay the meeting just a few more minutes, but no luck. Alex is standing at the side of the booth with the man. Without looking up, the man extends his hand sweeping to the right. Alex sit down where the man beckons.

“Are you friends with that woman at the far end of the bar?” Asks the man.

Alex can't remember seeing the man ever look up from his laptop computer during his trek to the booth.

“How did you see me talking to her over the crowded bar at this distance, seated, and without me ever seeing you look?” Alex asks.

The man spins around his computer to show a grid of eight cameras all trained on Alex from different directions. Alex catches the look of surprise before it surfaces and gives a little smile.

“You cracked my security system.” Says Alex.

The man smiles and reaches over shutting the computer.

“You are the first person that has cracked my security.” Alex says.

“We both know that isn't the case.” The man replies.

Once again Alex fights back an expression of surprise. For the first time, Alex really looks at the man. He is maybe double Alex's age. Alex puts him at 44. He has an average build and black hair cut short almost to the point of standing up on top and shorter on the sides. He has a close shaved beard covering his jaw bone with a bit of gray speckled through it. But there was something else to him. Alex takes a chance.

“I've seen you before, haven't I.” Alex says.

“Yes.” The man replies.

Alex is a pro at social engineering. He is now going to see what he can get out of this man.

“I was very young.” Alex Says.

“Yes.” Replies the man again.

“You were friends of my parents?”

The man picks up his drink and takes a long slow drink from it. He looks into the liquid, swirling it around before finally swallowing. He sets it down with a clank and raises his dark eyes from the glass looking directly into Alex's eyes. This gives Alex a bit of a chill. It is obvious this man has no malice towards Alex, but there is something cold inside of him, like the look of a good person that comes back from a terrible war.

“What is it you asked me here for, Alex?”

“How did you break into my home network?” Alex asks.

The man lets a small sigh and finishes off his drink with a sense of urgency.

“Why did you call me here, Sasha?”

Alex crawls on the inside. How does this man know he is called Sasha by his close friends?

“How did you break my security?” Alex asks in a more agitated voice.

The man places a thin case on the table and slides his laptop into it. It is apparent that this particular case is designed for this particular computer. The man puts on his black jacket and looks at Alex directly in the eyes.

“What do you want from me, Nix?” With those words, the man stands up, Alex rising to keep level eye contact.

“Are you one of the nineteen?” Alex asks.

“Goodbye Alex. You will never see me again.” The man starts walking for the back door. He slides through the crowd like he has done it his entire life. Alex starts after him, but feels a hand on his shoulder again. It is Acorn.

“Hey, NIX, when you get the chance, I want to show you my new NAS set up back at...”

Alex breaks free and into as fast a charge as the crowd would allow. As the man opens the back door, Alex catches up with him. This time Alex is the one to grab a person by the shoulder. The man spins around with a look of anger.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, ALEX!?” The man roars.

“I WANT MY FATHER!”

The words surprise Alex even before they are out of his mouth. Alex hasn't as much as thought of his father in years. Why has he chosen this time so say such a thing. Alex looks into the man's eyes and is surprised to see them mist over. The man pulls Alex out the back door into the alley below a light and pushes him against the wall. There the man searches Alex's face for even a shred of dishonesty. He loosens his grip and searches the ground for the words he can not find. Just as he is about to speak, the back door flies open and Cal comes charging out like a lion. Cal who was such a good friend of Alex's father and now such a loyal friend to Alex turns toward the man.

“Is this man threatening you, Alex?” Cal says.

The man tells Cal this doesn't concern him in a tone that would send all but the bravest man running, but Cal had made the decision before even going outside that he was ready to lay down his life for Alex this night.

The two men start towards each other when Alex speaks up.

“No! Cal, this man is not bothering me. We were just discussing computers.” Alex says, trying to ease Cal before the situation gets out of hand.

Cal lets out a snort and starts walking backwards to the steps that lead in the back door.

“I'll be just on the other side of this door if you need me, Alex. And I will be checking back every minute.” Cal says the last part of this to the man more than Alex.

Cal goes back inside. Alex turns to the man as he sheaths an eight inch blade he had underhanded, hidden behind his forearm.

“Did you intend on killing Cal?” Alex asks.

“If I use a weapon, I use it to kill. I haven't gone through Hell and back to be killed by a gorilla at some club. But he knew I had the blade and he was still willing to fight for you. He is a good friend to you. If your life ever gets turned upside down, go back to him before anyone else.”

“Do you know what happened to my Father?”

The man looks down again as Alex speaks these words. He stays motionless for what seems like an eternity, but when he looks up he has a new determination that wasn't present before.

“Alex, there is so much I want to do before my time is up, but time is running out for me now. I need help. I have not only been watching you for years, but I have also been grooming you and helping you, though you didn't know it. I want you to join us in our resistance, but I do not want an answer right now. Come with me and I will show you a history of which you have never been told and offer you a future of which you could never have dreamed, but this is a one time offer. You either leave with me tonight or you never see me again.”

“If I come with you, will you allow me to leave?” Alex asks.

The man laughs under his breath, but it is in no way malicious. He looks at Alex with eyes that are a bit softer than before and gives a little smile.

A black car pulls up at the end of the alley maybe 75 feet from where they stand. A man in a long black coat steps out and looks over the hood towards them.

“What's it going to be, Alex?”

The man looks at Alex briefly, then starts a slow walk to the car. Alex stares at the place the man's face had just been, trying to fit all the pieces together in his head. All his years, Alex had proved quite adept at problem solving, most of the time to the point of landing himself in his fair share of trouble. Alex was never the sort of person that doesn't do something because he is told it is wrong. If doing X is worth enduring punishment Y, then Alex does X without a second thought. To see all angles and how they play out, then choosing the best path, Alex had always been a natural. But at this moment, none of those skills helped him.

The man turns halfway the distance to the car to see Alex standing as he had left him. Standing in the dark lit from above by the light hanging from the building, his face hidden by the shadows. He hadn't moved a muscle.

The man starts for the car again. “I tried”, he thinks to himself. With a mostly hidden look of quite sadness, he meets eyes with the driver over the roof of the car. The driver gives the slightest nod and moves back into the driver's seat. The man stops at the car and puts his hands above the door. He looks down shutting his eyes and listens for the footsteps of Alex. Nothing. With a sigh, he opens the door. Never looking back he pulls the door shut. It stops a few inches before slamming home. He looks up. Alex is standing there with his hand between the door and the jamb. He is breathing heavily with a look of confusion.

“What is your name?” Alex asks and without hesitation the man answers.

“Thomas.”

The man releases the door handle and slides to the seat behind the driver. The car starts, but the driver never takes his eyes off the road. Alex takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, savoring the moment for what it is. The door shuts and the three of them head in the direction the sun will rise in a few hours. The man looks out his window at the passing buildings.

“There are moments in a person's life that are unlike any other,” Thomas said, “moments that mark a change in time. When you think back, there were times before this point and times after this point. Moments that mark change. Your last day of school, the day you get married, the birth of your first child,” Thomas looks at Alex, “the death of your parents...” Thomas trails off. There is a moment of silence before he starts again.

“You felt it before you entered this car. I saw you take a breath and accept the moment. You just had one of those moments. A moment that will mark a major change in the course of your life.”

Alex doesn't acknowledge Thomas, but understands what he is saying and thinks it correct. The car speeds along through the night, the lights of the city playing off the glass like the Aurora Borealis. Alex looks around the car for the first time. It is an ordinary car, black paint with black interior. It is totally average in every way. Alex supposes this is intentional. A means of staying as invisible as possible. Alex's eyes move along the dash to the rear view mirror, making eye contact with the driver. The driver is younger that Thomas, maybe 32, black, and smartly dressed. The jacket he was wearing before now laid in the passenger's seat neatly folded. He is wearing a black shirt tucked into black pants. This amuses Alex a bit. He is a black man, wearing a black shirt, tucked into black pants, driving a black car.

“What is your name?” Alex asks the driver.

“My name is Tobias, but most the world knows me as Jaxx.” He says.

“Is that your handle... Jaxx?” Alex asks.

“My name is more Jaxx than Tobias. I'm sure you can understand that, Nix.” Tobias replies.

Alex searches his mind. He has heard the name Jaxx before, but other than in a video game, can't place it. Alex is just about to probe Jaxx a bit more on his nick when Thomas starts speaking.

“Alex, I'm not going to lie to you. We need your help. It is true that I knew your father. It is true that I am one of The Nineteen. And it is true that everything you have done in your life has put you here with me, in this place and time.” The car slows, but Thomas continues. “I want to tell you our history. I want to tell you why we do the things we do. I want give you the sight so that you may choose to do the terrible thing we need you to do.” The car slows to a stop.

Alex looks into the eyes of Thomas for what seems like an eternity. He can detect no malice or negativity, only a strong sense of need and sadness mingled with the faint scent of hope.

Alex's door opens. Jaxx is standing there holding an umbrella at his side.

“It isn't raining.” Alex says.

“The storm will be here soon enough.” Jaxx replies.

Thomas gets out of the car and walks around the back to stand next to Jaxx. Alex looks up at both of them thinking to himself. What terrible thing do they want him to do? How had Thomas helped and groomed him? Why him? Out of all the millions of people in this city, why have they chosen him?

“Are you coming, Alex?” Thomas asks.

“What is the other name you go by?” Alex asks Thomas.

“Excuse me?” Thomas replies.

“Your nick. Your handle. Your digital name. What is it?” Alex asks


Thomas smiles while extending his left hand to Alex.

“Come inside, Alex, and I will tell you everything I know.”

Alex takes Thomas's hand and steps out of the car. Jaxx hands Alex the umbrella.

“I don't need it, Jaxx. We are only a few feet from the entrance.”

Jaxx gives a smile and says, “Here, take it anyways. You never know when it might come in handy.”


Alex & Thomas make their way up the steps of the building, the only sound the engine of the car as it passes over the horizon. Alex hears metal sliding against metal and the knock of a door opening, though Thomas never touches anything. They fine themselves in a small foyer. It's nice enough, Alex thinks to himself, definitely unexpected in an industrial neighborhood such as this. In front of the two are three doors. Two side by side on the wall opposite the entrance and one to the left. Thomas patiently waits. It is obvious he wants Alex to choose which door to enter.

“Is this a test?”, Alex asks.

“This is a system, Alex. I designed every inch of it... including the security.”

“So you want to see if I can get into the rooms?” Alex asks.

“No”, Thomas said, “I want to see if you make the correct choices. Think of this as any system you have ever cracked. All the security measures are the same as with those systems.”

Alex takes off his jacket and lays it and the umbrella on the table against the right wall.

“So, I have four choices here.”

“Four?”, Thomas asks.

“Yes. I have the two doors ahead, one to the left, and the option to go back out the front door and look for another way.”

Thomas smiles. “Continue.”, he says.

Alex first goes to the door to the left. He traces the top of the door frame with his fingers, finding nothing but dust. He then knocks in a grid pattern, two knocks per spot, 5 spots across, 8 spots down for a total of 80 knocks. He looks down at the welcome mat and smiles. Neither of the other doors have a mat. He moves to the next door and runs through the same routine of tracing the top of the frame and knocking. Then the final door, same drill. Alex steps back to look at the three doors.

“It's the door on the right.”, Alex says.

“Is it?”, Thomas asks.

“Yes, without a doubt in my mind.”

“What makes you say that, Nix?”

“The door on the side wall is the only door with a key hole. Under the welcome mat, there is a a key. If you use that key to open the door, you will find what looks like a small, lived in apartment. Maybe a computer, small living room, kitchenette, bedroom, and bathroom. Possibly a few filing cabinets full of books, tech manuals, and folders. This door is the honey pot. The door no junior detective newbie could resist.

“The door in the middle isn't even close to being as solid as the door on the right, even though they look identical. While the rookie detective is searching the honey pot, a seasoned detective would order the other two doors kicked in. The middle door will give first, opening to a huge area filled with tiny rooms packed with papers, filing cabinets, electronics, and anything else that might look suspicious to someone hunting a systems expert. The rooms behind those two doors would have to be cleared of danger before anyone could focus on the right door and I imagine they would be more than happy with what they found behind the middle door.”

Thomas lets go a smile, faint as it is. Alex goes to the door they used to enter the foyer.

“This door is locked. I heard the same metal locking mechanism after we entered the room that I heard from the outside.” Alex says.

Alex pulls against the door and just as he suspected, it is locked. Alex leans against that door, looking at Thomas.

“So test your theory.”, Thomas said.

Alex walks to the far left door, sliding over the welcome mat with his shoe. He picks up the key with a small sense of satisfaction sliding it into the lock. The door gives and Alex is looking into the living room of a smart little apartment.

“It's bigger then I thought it would be.”, Alex says.

Thomas nods.

Alex starts into the apartment when he hears Thomas speak.

“Don't go in there. Never go into that apartment. It is clean of any trace of me and it should remain clean of any trace of you.”

Alex nods and pulls the door shut.

He returns the key to it's proper clean spot in the dust after wiping it clean of fingerprints.

“Now you are getting the hang of it.”, Thomas says.

Alex returns the mat to it's home and starts for the next door.

“How can we test this one?”, Alex asks.

“Feel the knob.”, Thomas says. “You will find a small metal ball. Push it in and pull on the knob. No, you have to pull harder.”

The knob slides out. Alex turns the knob and pushes the door into a world of blinking lights. Switches, routers, hardware firewalls, clusters of old computers racked up and networked together to try to be something more then the sum of their parts.

“Should I go in?.”, Ales asks.

“No.”, Thomas responds, “There are nine rooms similar to the one you see. Also, there are six closets full of papers and one room in the back with a thick steel door denying entrance. Behind that door are the uninterruptable power supplies and the hard drive array.”

What are the computers working on?”, Alex asks.

Thomas gives a big smile, “SETI@Home.”

Alex lets out a little laugh as he shuts the door, returning the knob to the locked position.

“That is a knob of my own design.”, Thomas says. “If a person finds it, he assumes it is locks from the inside. If a cop finds it, they just kick it in.”

Alex moves to the chosen door. He grips the knob. No hidden latch release. Alex looks at Thomas, but he can't extract any information from his face other than the knowledge that this test isn't over until the final door is open.

Thomas watches Alex as he backs away from the door in thought. He not only feels delight in watching Alex work through the problem, but also an expectation of excellence. If this boy is anything like his old man, Thomas thinks, he might be the one to move this digital war from stalemate. This war that has gone on too long.

A wave moves over Alex that breaks Thomas from his thoughts.

Alex picks up his belongings from the half moon table against the right wall.

“Are you coming?”, Alex asks.

Thomas nods and motions Alex to take the lead. The sound of metal on metal fills the room and the door gives way as Alex pushes against it.

“You made good time.” Thomas says.

“The key chip in the umbrella, is it RFID?”, Alex asks.

“Not RF, but the same basic principle.”, says Thomas.

Alex stops as if in deep thought, the only sound is the metal on metal as the door behind them locks. They are in a long hallway. The only light is at the far end above a door. A door identical to the one behind them. Thomas waits patiently.

“This doesn't feel right.”, Alex says.

“What doesn't feel right?”, asks Thomas.

“None of it.”, Alex responds.

Alex turns to face the man beside him.

“The door at the end of this hall isn't the right choice either. None of the doors are correct. You don't live or work here. What is this place?”, Alex demands.

“I never said I live or work here. I already told you what this place is, Alex, and I think you know what your options are at this point. From the moment we met until now, I have given you every bit of information you need to make your decisions.”

Alex doesn't have to ask, he knows all too well what is behind the door at the end of the hall. Behind that door is hate, fear, and protectionism. Behind that door is censorship, corruption, and intolerance. Behind that door is the WorldNet. Behind that door is the world Alex has known his entire life. That door leads outside to the alley behind the building.

“You have passed my test, Alex.”, Thomas says. “If you choose this door, you will never see me again. Behind that door is everything we fight against... and everything we fight for. The war  raging on every continent in what seems like every country has reached a stalemate. There are too few of us left to gain any more ground and we are tired.”

Thomas trails off. Alex hadn't noticed until now that, behind the hard confidence of this man, there is a sense of weariness. Perhaps this is the look of a great field general at the end of a long war.

“All I have to offer you is a life that has some greater meaning. I offer you a chance to use your talents to fight for freedom. I will be totally honest with you always. I will teach you everything I know. And when the time has come, you will do what you must do to end this war.”

Thomas walks back to the door they just entered, raises his hand, and bows his head as if in prayer. There again is the sound of metal on metal. Alex looks down at the umbrella in his hands as the door slides open. When he looks up, Thomas is standing with his back to Alex by the door that led them into the building.

“What is your name?”, Alex asks.

“Thomas.”, He replies.

“No”, Alex says, What is your name?”

Thomas turns around, slowly raising his eyes from the floor to meet Alex's.

“I am Ceptor, founder of FreeNet, and one of the few remaining Nineteen.”

Alex stands in stunned silence.

“Ceptor.” Alex mouths the name without making a sound. The full weight of the moment hits Alex. Here is one of the Fathers. One of the legends of our time. One of the Gods of the Underworld, as they came to be known.

“What is there that I could ever do for you?”, Alex asks. “It was the stories of you that drew me to into the world of ones and zeros, you and the others at the Great Council.”

“Ah, so you know some of our stories.”, Thomas says.

“Know?!”, Alex says, still full of awe, “It is like a mythology in my circles.”

With that, Thomas laughs. “Come with me, Nix, and I will separate fact and fiction. But remember, I only offer you honesty. Honesty and a chance to fight for everything we believe in. I am prepared to give up everything to end this war. Are you willing to do the same?”

“If you come with me, 'Alex' will die, sacrificed so that 'Nix' can be reborn as a God of the Underworld. To come with me means ending everything you have been.”

A ringing sound fills the room. Thomas pulls a phone from inside his jacket pocket, but doesn't answer.

“It's time, Alex.”

Alex looks back down the long hall, giving a long breath.

Thomas once again raises his right hand. Metal on metal. He steps outside to see Jaxx once again standing by the car. The door shuts and locks. Thomas looks to his right to see Alex standing just behind him, quiet, as if in deep thought.

“I feel it.”, Alex says.

“What's that?”, Thomas asks.

“The end of the moment that started in the alley behind the bar.”, Alex says.

“I'm glad you can see it now.”, Thomas says. “Most people go  their entire lives without noticing them.”

Jaxx speaks from beside the car below. “Sir, we are out of time.”

Alex hears the distant sound of sirens and the faint hum of a helicopter.

“Come, Nix. As promised, I will tell you everything you need to know.”

The two men walk down the few stairs to the street as Jaxx opens the back passenger door. Thomas slides over the seat to make room for Alex.

Alex leans in to make eye contact with Thomas. “Through the back door, were there men out there that would have killed me?”, Alex asks.

“Does it matter now?”, Thomas responds. “You killed Alex when you chose to follow me. All that remains now is 'Nix'.

Nix gets into the car. An aurora flashes across the windows like the reflection of the sun in the rippling waves of a pond. Alex looks back as the police arrive at the burning mass of the building they were just in, as well as the building to the right of it.

“What was in the building next door?”, Nix asks.

“It was a hidden backbone of the WorldNet. This is the financial district and we just robbed it of any commerce and telecommunications for the next three days.” Thomas gave a little smirk, “You would be surprised at how much that irritates them.”

While moving along the endless streets of the city, Nix realizes he feels a disconnection with all the pedestrians in their determined walk, like ants, maintaining the nest, yet not really seeing the people around them and occasionally huddled around the glass windows of a department store display trying to read the newscaster's lips while he describes the latest tragedy that has befallen the world. It doesn't seem to effect them, though. So barraged are they that no empathetic pain can breech the hard shell.

The car slows to a stop in the heart of the downtown district. It is easy to see all the people in this false neon daylight.

“We are home.”, Ceptor says.

“I'm surprised that home is the busiest part of the city.”, Nix responds.

“Why?”, Ceptor asks. “It is much easier for a tree to disappear into a forest than on the prairie. Besides, home is only home for a night or two. We must stay on the move.”

Jaxx opens the door. The smells of the city fills the car, much stronger than in the financial district they just left. Nix loves the city. This is his home. The place he grew up. This, he thinks to himself, is what he would fight for.

“The block is clear, Sir.”, Jaxx says to Ceptor as he steps from the the car, “everything is prepared as you asked.”

Jaxx leads them into the old building. Inside are the remains of a once great hotel, the huge dust covered chandelier overhead. Nix notices the overstated stairs and doorways and tries to visualize it as it must have looked at the height of the art deco years instead of the neglected pay by the hour establishment it had become. Past the night clerk they walk without as much as a peep, up the grand staircase, and into a small side corridor that must have been a bellhop station. Jaxx walks up to the service elevator. It has an old 'out of service' sign hanging from the old iron arrow that once gave the elevators location. Nix and Ceptor stop as Jaxx approaches it. He looks back at Nix, then to Ceptor, who gives a nod of permission. Jaxx turns back to the door. He covers his heart with his right hand and extends his left hand towards the doors as if pleading allegiance to it. To Nix's astonishment, he hears that sound of metal on metal, though fainter than before as the elevator doors slide apart.

“You have to teach me that trick.”, Alex whispers.

“It isn't a trick,” Ceptor responds, “and if all goes as planned, you will be able to do it yourself before sunrise.”

Ceptor gives Nix a little smile, then starts for the elevator.

Alex is surprised to feel the elevator move to the right rather then up or down. Once stopped, the doors open to a very narrow staircase spiraling downward into the darkness. Jaxx leads the way, pulling an identical cell phone to the beeping device Ceptor had earlier. This time, instead of beeping, it emits a very bright light, much brighter then one would assume a device that small could make. They made their way down the metal spiral stairs to another metal door. Jaxx opens it, again with what seems like a mind trick, and they move into a large room better furnished than Nix expects.

It is one large room with a steel door on the opposite wall. The sealed and finished concrete floor is warmed with a single massive rug of interlocking diamonds that give it a three dimensional feel. The island of iron and glass is surrounded by over-sized seats and couches made of purple velvet. On the wall where windows should be, there are paintings of great sea battles from centuries past.

Jaxx sits in one of the plush seats, pulling a book from under the glass topped coffee table to read while Ceptor motions for Nix to follow him to the far door.

“Remove everything from your pockets and place them on this side table.”, Ceptor says as he does the same.

Ceptor opens the door which turns out to be almost a foot thick of metal and concrete. Inside the room there is nothing but two large chairs. Other than the chairs and the metal shell of the door, the entire room appears to be made of concrete.

Once alone in the room, Ceptor turns on the little electronic device that has been in his hands since they left the non-elevating elevator. After thirty or so seconds it gives a bright green light, then a clicking sound as it ejected it's battery.

“What did the green light mean?”, Nix asks.

“It means that nothing within twenty feet is broadcasting a signal.”, Ceptor responds.

“There are no bugs.”, Nix says.

“That's right. During it's shutdown routine, it checks for bugs and other known unfriendly devices. Then it ejects it's own battery leaving not even itself activated.”, Ceptor says. “The floor, walls, and ceiling of this room are concrete of a similar thickness as the door.”

“We have total privacy.”, Nix says.

“That's right.”, responds Ceptor. “I have brought you here to tell you our history so that if anything happens to me or the other few remaining Nineteen, it will live on. I also believe that once you hear the truth of what happened, you will do the things that must be done and without hesitation when the time comes.”

“I understand.”, Nix says. “May I ask a few questions first?”

“Of course.”, Ceptor responds. “This is the night for you to learn everything you will. I promised you openness and honesty, but save questions about your father for my story. If you have any questions about him when I have finished, I will gladly answer them.”

Alex nods in acknowledgment.

What exactly are the little devices you and Jaxx carry?”, Nix asks.

“They are what you might think of as a swiss army knife for the digital age. As you have seen, they have a timer and flashlight built in as well as a signal receiver that is used to detect devices that emit a signal. But they never emit a signal. If they did, they could be used as a tracking device which we obviously would not like. I'll give an example. It can detect and log information from any RFID chip within two feet of it. We use this functionality to help us travel through borders and check points without being detected. Just walk around an airport for a few minutes. Every passport and national ID card contains an RFID chip. With just a ten minute walk you can log enough information to travel the world ten times over being a different person at each check point and at each border crossing. There are also a few other things it does. Jaxx will fill you in when he gives you yours.”

“How do you open doors without the umbrella?”, Nix asks.

It's basically a keyed version of the same thing. Each of us have twelve key chips implanted just below our skin. They work in sets of three. Putting two together activates a third. It is different for everyone and whenever one of us is compromised, the key changes. Right now, if the chip in my chin gets close to the chip in my chest, the chip in my right hand is activated. If that does not work one day, I know that someone has been caught or killed and the code changed. It happens that the next key in rotation is my left hand which is activated by moving the chip in my right hand which is activated to the chip in my left forearm. I know it sounds complicated and to my knowledge the government doesn't even know our key system, but once you get your chips and learn your particular key progression you will appreciate the elegance in it.”

Alex understand it perfectly. It is like an updated version of our old World War II moving cypher.

“Those are my only questions for now.”, Nix says. “I am ready to hear everything you will tell me.”

With that he saits back into the deep, comfortable chair and patiently waitss. Ceptor falls into deep thought that lasts for what seems like forever.











Chapter 2



“It is such a rare occasion when the world moves as one for the betterment of all humanity, but that is exactly what happened. We had a dream. A dream that ideas, creativity and expression should free to all no matter means, social rank, or location. At the time, I was about your age and working at a software company designing network architecture.

“I was at the United Nations that day when the five largest internet software and hardware companies, with the full support of our government, proposed the idea. With our new technology, we could retrofit radio station towers to be wireless internet transmitters and receivers. Imagine it. With all the television and radio stations moving to satellite and digital signals, most of the spectrum they previously used were available again after nearly a century of constant use. We proposed to use that dead air space to give the internet to anyone and everyone. If you could once pick up an FM, UHF, or VHF station, you now could pick up a free high speed wireless internet connection.

“We debated it hotly for nearly a month. In the end, an industrialized tax was put forth. Each industrialized country would pay one dollar a month from each citizen's taxes into the Worldnet Fund. That money would be used to build infrastructure, pay for hardware, and reimburse bandwidth costs to the major private carriers at a fixed price. Once the corporations realized that every person in the world was a prospective customer, not to mention that one dollar a month per person in the industrialized world  meant nearly five billion dollars a month of available income, they didn't just remove their roadblocks on the UN floor, they started positioning themselves to get as much of the pie as they could. Leave it to good old hard cash to get the ball rolling.

“As one of the chief architects of the new technology that made all this possible, I was placed in charge of North American construction. To make everything more manageable, we broke the duties into seven regions. North America consisted of the US, Canada, Mexico, Central America, and the Caribbean. There were also Europe, Africa, the Middle East, South America, Australia, and South Asia. South Asia ran from Iran to Japan and split Oceania with Australia. Each of these regions elected a representative from alternating countries within each region to serve on a Counsel that was to oversea decision making for the Worldnet.

“So we worked. Within a year we had all the major cities online in the US, Mexico, and southern Canada. A few months later, as we were working through Belize and Nicaragua, we received word that Europe and Eastern Russia were brought online followed by coastal Africa, Asia, and Australia. By the time we finished panama and most of the Caribbean, 90% of South America was online and the entire world within 500 miles of the coast was lit. It was beautiful. Through private donations, the $100 laptop project was making and distributing hand and solar powered computers to the most remote parts of the planet.

“Our dreams were becoming reality. Through the Worldnet, the best teachers could record their lessons, thoughts, and ideas and any classroom in the world could access them. Imagine Stephen Hawking teaching physics to high school students in Sri Lanka. Imagine a professor of robotics at MIT teaching artificial intelligence to children in the Congo. Imagine anything and you can make it happen. These people donated their time to record these classes free of charge to be part of the movement from the old world to the new. We never imagines the old world would fight back.

“In the second term of the Counsel, we saw a shift in powers of thought. The first Counsel of Canada, Brazil, Germany, South Africa, India, Australia, and Jordan transferred to the United States, Venezuela, England, Lybia, China, and Syria. At the time, the world was so enthralled with progress that no one took notice.

“His name was Ashida Shin-Ra. He was a nineteen year old kid from Singapore. He was an anime fan. The wore glasses, not contacts, because he was afraid to touch his eyes. I know his name. We all know his name. He was the first person banned from the Worldnet for hosting a torrent tracker on his home computer. An outrage went out like the ripples of a tear on the ocean, unrelenting, but invisible after the initial rings. No one really noticed anymore when the 50th person was banned... no one but us.

1: Ashida Shin-Ra – Singapore – Torrent Tracker
50: Fernando Gomez – Costa Rica – Torrent Tracker
143: Allen Greenfield – Ohio, US – Private FTP
233: Adrienne Laroque – France – Pornography (child?)
1224: Luka ? – Russia – Anarchist
23111: Mark Hammond – California, US – Satirist
50000: Allison Belue – Kentucky, US - *Unknown

“After Allison, I resigned as a Worldnet Architect to “pursue hobbies.” No way I was going to publicly protest what was happening. The Worldnet was the only way left to get online. I couldn't lose that.

“It all started with me networking my computer to a computer belonging to a good friend of mine across town via the old no longer used hard lines. Soon we found other people with similar interests in the city were doing the same. We set up an invitation system so that once people had established themselves on our private network, they could invite others they found. This is how our network was born, a bunch of small networks networking to each other. Before long, word reached us that the same thing was happening around the planet. The very people that had built the Worldnet were rebelling against it's new totalitarianism.

“The new nets had a feel of openness and giving that was getting crushed on the Worldnet. We had entire volunteer groups called cells. Each cell would pick a network maintenance task and set upon it. One cell would set up and maintain underground servers that route our signals. Other cells would maintain the old fiber optic cable in the sewers. Say I need a programmer to work on a bit of code. I would make a post saying: Network Architect seeks Programmer. Somewhere there was surely a programmer in need of a network guy like myself. Not only did we succeed, but our net thrived. Our only rule was that there were to be no wireless connections. If you were on our network, it was because someone vouched for you by giving you an invite.

“Our network spread from our city into the surrounding areas and even further into neighboring cities. It spread until it hit a similar large network that spread out from some other far off place.

“The problem was that no one expected any of these private networks to get so large. No one thought these networks would need to communicate with other networks and so none of these networks used the same communication protocols, The founders of each network just used whatever protocols they were familiar with.

“It is unknown who initiated the line that led to the Great Hall on the hill, but by land and sea nineteen made their way through the snow to that relic of empires past. Some leaders, some elected emissaries, all unified in the belief that freedom should be just that, free. For six days and six nights, we worked towards and agreement. A document. A set of beliefs. In the end, it came down to the Four Principles.

1: Our Network is free from censorship.
2: The Network shall remain neutral. No person, organization, or entity shall have preference in speed, access, or connection.
3: All material posted to the Network shall move into the public domain twenty years after being posted regardless of license. 
4: All material posted to the Network is copyrighted to the creator with a non-commercial, non-derivative, attribution license meaning that anyone may use the work in a non-commercial way as long as they give credit to the creator and do not modify the work. The creator may remove any portion of this copyright, but may not add to it.

“The actual document was longer, but those were the Four Principles. The Four Principles could not be altered. There were other sections that were meant to be changed with a two-thirds majority vote, but the Four Principles were an enduring, everlasting agreement committed to repairing the mistakes of the past.

“Once we returned home, we set upon the task of standardizing our protocols. A year to the day later, the final of the nineteen nets joined our new network, which we dubbed Freenet.

“Our net thrived. Though never overtaking the size of the Worldnet, Freenet became a bastion of thought. What are a few million people when compared to the billions on the Worldnet? The older generations either did not know about us or did not understand us, yet most of the software they used, services they purchased, and art they loved came from us. Take the simple act of buying a program to enable you to burn a CD. You load a website which probably runs on our web server software. You enter your information over a secure connection. That connection uses our cryptography and the information you enter is stored in a database of our design. After all that, there is a good chance the program you purchased was written by us. As you can see, what we do not only affects us, but the Worldnet itself.”

Ceptor leans back in his chair as all excitement leaves his face.  he takes the look of that old Field Captain again.

“Can I get you a drink?”, He asks.

“No,” Nix responds, “I am fine.”

Nix mirrors his new teacher, leaning back in the plush seat giving the body language of patience and wanting to give as much space as possible. After what feels like an eternal silence, Ceptor starts again, though this time with a more somber ring to his voice.

“It was a beautiful day in autumn when the world turned it's eye towards us. We thought the red hue on the horizon would never fade... it never really did.”








Chapter 3




“If you ever want to know what it feels like to be one thousand years old, just attend a technology conference. Permanent boredom sets in around hour three of day two. An auto-response kicks in to give the illusion of humanity. A new speaker nervously approaches the podium to give his presentation to a thousand people packed into a room that seems much taller than it is wide. A room that is probably well air conditioned when empty, but now has oscillating fans artfully placed in the exit doors next to the speaker's table at the front and at the hot snack bar at the rear. The scent of Sterno fills the room. The speaker gives an antic-dote, auto-response kicks in, everyone gives a four second chuckle, then the speaker's voice joins the background hum of coughs, whispers, and fans. The woman three rows ahead and seven seats to the left looks better by the minute, the way a hot caffeine free diet Pepsi must look to a man stranded on a desert island. Not as appetizing for taste as much as the fact that it is the only thing available.

“Until that day, I didn't know that they don't use those removable ceiling tiles in a room this tall. They use sheet rock. The logic is that ceiling tiles can get wet and fall while sheet rock is screwed and taped into place. The sheet rock that reached an unknown velocity before breaking every bone in the upper half of the lady three rows ahead and seven seats over came off in one piece, pausing just long enough so the taped seam could turn it on end. I had never heard of an earthquake in Chicago, but this certainly seemed like one to me. The herd of people split, most heading for the rear doors and some bottlenecking at the side doors. The building breathed. I headed for the door that led to a small room behind the podium. It didn't lead to anywhere, but it had a doorway and that is what I was after.

“I stood protected in the doorway looking back into the large conference room. More sheet rock fell, killing and crippling with every drop. A cloud filled the room. Someone yelled “Fire!” sending the crowd into a frenzy that did as much damage as the falling ceiling. The cloud reached me. It wasn't smoke. It was chalk from the sheet rock bursting as it claimed it's victims.

“Once the scene had calmed a bit and the building stopped shifting, I started to make my way through the rubble looking up at the exposed ceiling beams. Thank God those didn't give way. The air was thick with chalk and the whimpers of the dead and dieing. It isn't like what you see in movies. The people left alive weren't screaming in pain, just the constant moans and pleading in disbelief. I yelled to everyone in the room that I was going for help and for them not to worry. People would know that they were here alive and needing help.

“The destruction was not isolated to that one room. The rest of the hotel took similar damage. The uninjured, doing what they assumed they should, started going door to door and lining the halls with the injured. I asked a Bellboy what the Do Not Disturb signs on some of the doors meant. He didn't have to say anything. The vacant look in his eyes told me.

“Don't go out the south side of the build, he said. He opened the door next to us and went inside. I looked back of forth down the hall trying to decide which way was south. Before I could move, he emerged from the room with a Do Not Disturb sign.

“Which way is south, I asked. He opened the door all the way and told me to look. I took one step in and found myself looking out over a distance at the ribs of a building maybe five hundred yards away. The entire wall of this room had been ripped away from the building.

“This whole side of the hotel is gone just like the building over there, the kid said. The building that was between is now gone. It must have taken part of our building and theirs with it, he said pointing through the missing wall.

“I told the kid he should head home in case a fire broke out. He said he had lived in the building that used to be next door. Fair enough.

“I made my way through the debris and into the stairwell. Faint sobbing and footsteps. The stream of people had no end. We emerged just below street level in a cavernous tunnel with small access roads that led to the street above. People were being carried down as others were heading up. The injured were being helped into an elevator under the House of Blues. I gave my shoulder to a woman that appeared quite well off but had a terrible ankle injury.

“She said that this place was being set up as a temporary hospital. I helped her into the over sized elevator bands used to load gear with twenty or so other people. She told me about her family. How her grand-daughter had made the necklace she wore. How her husband had been killed in Vietnam and she never had the heart to marry again. How she had seen the fireball and the windows blown out of the missing building seconds before it fell.

“Then this wasn't an earthquake, I thought to myself as the elevator doors opened.

“We found ourselves backstage at the House of Blues. A man wearing a headset asked me if we could climb stairs. Sure, but I'm not sure how many. Good, he said, we need the ground floor for critical injuries. he pointed us towards the backstage stairwell. It had whitewashed walls with brown and red smears where the injured had leaning for a moment of comfort. Four people could easily walk up these stairs side by side. Good design. It was tested every second of that day. We emerged three flights up on the second terrace. I helped the lady to a small booth with a wrap around couch and two over-sized plush red chairs much like the ones we are sitting in now and asked her to take a seat. This place will soon run out of seats. I walked to the edge of the balcony as she sat down. This four story room with balconies haloing the main floor must be as amazing a sight when filled with life as it was then when filled with death.

“I returned to the woman to say goodbye. She asked me my name. Thomas. She produced a card. If there is anything I can do to repay your kindness, she said, just call. I told her that wouldn't be necessary, but she slid the card into my right breast pocket and repeated herself.

“I followed an exit sign through a door finding myself in what appeared to be the side lobby of a hotel. The dead and injured lined the walls that led outside. Fatigue hit with the weight of a sledge hammer. I sat against the wall and waiting for the dust cloud to settle outside.

“Time passes strangely when your body is in emergency mode. Seconds can feel like an eternity. When a person can be born, grow old, and die in the time it takes a glass to fall from a table and shatter on the floor. Other times, hours can pass in the blink of an eye as you gain some insight as to what the world must look like to a mountain. I have no idea how much time passed while I sat there on the floor in the place between wake and sleep, but I slowly realized the flow of people had increased in speed and sound. The cloud was dissipating but the look of fear had overtaken the faces of everyone that hurried past.

“I stopped a man that was walking by in a daze to ask if another building had been hit. I hadn't noticed the tears welled in his eyes, waiting for any excuse to flow. Not a building, he said. The tears getting the chance they needed. The evacuation routes were hit. He had put his wife and daughter on an evacuation L train not even an hour ago. He knew of five explosions along the evacuation routes and said it was the same in all the other cities. Other cities? I asked. London, Sydney, and Bombay he knew of, but heard there were others. He stared not at, but through me. I had no words of consolation for him. He never stopped looking at the place I had sat as I made my way to the door only stopping long enough to wet my t-shirt in the water fountain and tie it around my head covering my nose and mouth.

“Outside wasn't much different than the hallway. People in suits hurrying away from the toppled building. People in uniforms rushing towards them. I asked maybe one hundred people before finding one that had heard the word, Freenet. He was a tall thin man. I told him I needed the get online to try to make sense of everything happening around us. He said his building had been destroyed, but there was another place we could try. It was in a rough part of town, but if I stayed close to him, he said, I should be fine. Any rougher than it is here? I asked as the rubble of the building next door started to catch fire. No, he said with a sad smile, I guess not. We headed towards South Chicago.


--------------------
No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. ~ Niels Bohr

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Offlinecitricacidx
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Re: Something I have been working on again *LONG READ* [Re: automan]
    #8631838 - 07/13/08 11:21 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

i want more.

Good read. I noticed a few grammatical things (then instead of than type of stuff), but overall I liked it and want more.


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Offlineocarina
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Re: Something I have been working on again *LONG READ* [Re: citricacidx]
    #8633254 - 07/14/08 12:26 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

I like the plot. Fighting against the totalitarian fucks in power.

But the main character seemed kind of flat and inconsistent though. This Alex/Nix dude, is supposidely smart and owns some sort of club, yet he is jumpy, insecure and needs a big black dude to protect him; but then he gets chosen to become part of a underground organization to fight the power?
To me it dosen't add up, I guess because of the 3rd person omniscient p.o.v. dosen't really describe what he is really thinking. Anyways, good story, good luck with the rest of it.

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InvisibleautomanM
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Re: Something I have been working on again *LONG READ* [Re: ocarina]
    #8633521 - 07/14/08 01:32 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

thanks to both of you!

i didnt really expect anyone to get through it all, much less 2 people.

ocarina, it isnt his club, it was his fathers... maybe. ;] alex just grew up there


thanks for reading, fellas!


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No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. ~ Niels Bohr

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Offlinecitricacidx
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Re: Something I have been working on again *LONG READ* [Re: automan]
    #8633766 - 07/14/08 02:38 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

I enjoyed it. It took me a while to read through all of it, but I did. Are you doing this for fun or are you goin to try to get published?


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InvisibleautomanM
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Re: Something I have been working on again *LONG READ* [Re: citricacidx]
    #8633822 - 07/14/08 02:52 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

at this point, i just want to finish it. i might send it out to a few publishing houses when i'm finished with it and the endless rewrites, but i have no illusion of greatness. it all started with me bored at work one day. i started writing down some fake diary entries. here they are if interested:

diary entry 0001:
Quote:

it is a truely unique time when mankind joins together to create for the common good.
knowledge is power. the consolidation of power in too few hands yeilds tyranny.
we decided that information must be free to all.

we fucked it up.

by an overwhelming vote, we started a free network. from dark fiber, a light was lit
that was to enlighten the world... to rejuvenate the beacon of hope in that
shining city on the hill. a free network. free from wires. free from cost.
free from the hands of those that manipulate information to gain power over others.
the idea spread with the sound of a billion peoples' syncronistic demand for equality.
a world of free information. that beacon had never shown so bright,
nor cast a shadow so long.

it started with sharing. it ended with sharing.

his name was Ashida Shin-ra. he ran a torrent tracker on a server in singapore.
he liked anime. he was in university. he was average height and build.
he wore glasses, no contacts. he was afraid to touch his eyes. he was famous
where we come from. his was the first site banned from the worldnet.
an outcry rang like the ripples of a tear in the ocean... unrelenting,
yet invisible after the initial rings. the second torrent tracker was brough down.
another tear in the ocean. when the 50th tracker went down, no one really noticed.
no one except for us.

#50    - fernando gomez, costa rica. torrent tracker.
#143  - allan greenfield, ohio. private ftp.
#233  - adrienne laroque, france. pornography (assumed child pornography).
#1224  - sasha ?, russia. anarchist calling for violence.
#23111 - mark hammond, california. political satirist.

complacency is slavery

at #50,000 (allison belue, kentucky. reason unknown), a small group of us decided to
build a second net.
a free net.





The Clockmaker






diary entry 0002:

Quote:

two computers, one line. that is how it started.

it was a network built without plan or design, just people linking to
each other. then these pairs paired off with pairs. the second net was
thousands of private networks isolated from power, yet isolated from
each other. out of each of these private nets, leaders arose. counsels
were established. freedom breathed new life.

the meeting was called.

it is unknown who initiated the line that lead to the great hall. by air
and by sea, 19 made their way through the snow to that relic of empires
past. that great hall. we knew we had to come. some of us leaders. some
of us emissaries. all of us unified in the belief that freedom is a
right. for six days and six nights, we worked towards an agreement. a
document. a set of beliefs. in the end, it came down to the Four
Principles.

1) our net is free from censorship.
2) all material posted on the net is copyrighted to the creator with an
"attribution, noncommercial, no derivative" license. all else is public
domain. the creator may remove any part of this license, but may not add
to it.
3) all material posted on the net moves into public domain 15 years
after being posted, regardless of license.
4) the net will remain neutral. no person, company or organization will
have preference in speed, access, or connection.

the actual document was longer, but these were the main points. these
points could not be altered. there were other sections that were meant
to be changed as time passes by a 2/3 majority, but the Four Principles
were an enduring, everlasting agreement committed to repairing the
mistakes of the past.

our net thrived.

though never overtaking the size of the old net, our net was a sanctuary
of freedom. what are a few million people when compared to the billions
on the old net? the older generations either never knew about us or did
not understand us. yet most of the software they used, goods they
bought, and art they loved came from us.

it was a beautiful day in the autumn when the world turned it's eye
towards us.

we thought the red hue on the horizon would never fade...

it never really did.




The Clockmaker






diary entry 0003:

Quote:

six explosions on as many continents in as many days.

chicago
sao paulo
bombay
london
syndey
alexandria


we call them one explosion, but that would have been too clean. in
reality, one major explosion was made in the heart of each city, then
the smaller bombs struck the evacuation routes three hours later. same
story in every city. we lost 4 of the 19 that day.

the word anger does not seem strong enough. the word hatred does not do
justice to the feelings towards those that would diminish the light of
the world by 1.27 million flames. again, everyone joined together for
the common good of humanity. again, that beacon of light was twisted
into the sour beast of control.

it was when we first heard that word that we began to see what was
happening directly before our eyes, yet hidden behind the green curtain
of power.

there are moments in time that are different from all other moments. moments that mark a
split time. there is time before this moment and a time after this moment. shortly after
the attacks we saw such a moment pass. on a little screen, we watched a little man utter
a single word. a word that would change our lives.

Terrornet.

they dubbed our freenet... Terrornet.

though we did not realize it at the time, this was the actual moment the war began.
though, there would not be a shot fired or system dropped until 40 days later.

with that one word, the old world declared war on the new frontier in a last effort to
claw back from the depths of obscurity.

complacency is slavery.

and so the war begins.




The Clockmaker





--------------------
No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. ~ Niels Bohr

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InvisibleCameron
Too Many Words
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Registered: 10/31/07
Posts: 4,437
Loc: Canada
Re: Something I have been working on again *LONG READ* [Re: automan]
    #8652558 - 07/18/08 07:37 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

I felt I should bump this.
We in MA&L need more time to finish this bad-boy. Another week or two should suffice. :grin:

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OfflinementalIMAGE
21st Century Schizoid Man
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Registered: 04/29/06
Posts: 836
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
Re: Something I have been working on again *LONG READ* [Re: Cameron]
    #8652883 - 07/18/08 09:04 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

hey man keep it up, i want morrrrreee!

really enjoying it so far:)


--------------------

We are always acting on what has just finished happening. It happened at least 1/30th of a second ago. We think we're in the present, but we aren't. The present we know is only a movie of the past.
Ken Kesey

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InvisibleautomanM
blasted chipmunk
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Registered: 09/18/03
Posts: 8,272
Re: Something I have been working on again *LONG READ* [Re: Cameron]
    #8655637 - 07/19/08 03:18 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

thanks, fellas, i really appreciate the input. i honestly didnt expect more than one person to read something so long.


--------------------
No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. ~ Niels Bohr

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InvisibleautomanM
blasted chipmunk
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Registered: 09/18/03
Posts: 8,272
Re: Something I have been working on again *LONG READ* [Re: automan]
    #8669186 - 07/22/08 08:21 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

final bump in case anyone else wanted to give it a read


--------------------
No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. ~ Niels Bohr

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Offlinestefan
work in progress


Registered: 04/11/01
Posts: 8,932
Loc: The Netherlands
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
Re: Something I have been working on again *LONG READ* [Re: automan]
    #8670345 - 07/23/08 02:34 AM (15 years, 7 months ago)

I read most of he first chapter while drinking my morning coffee. It's pretty well written and good in detail. Some sentenes don't flow as wel as they could, for example: sometimes there's a short sentence sometimes with 5 words or so followed by a long sentence with subsentences. IMO if you cleverly glued those together the read would be smoother. I'm not saying you cant use short sentences, but sometimes I felt they were in the wrong place and creating a small bump in the road. Hope this makes sence:smirk:

Maybe I can make an example here:
Quote:

Alex's eyes wander over the rail and into the crowd. There are many faces he doesn't recognize, but many that he still does. His eyes move right and to the back of the room. The bar stretches most of the back wall facing the stage. Alex always loved getting to the bar. There are two huge fans on each end that make getting through the hot and sweaty crowd to get a drink even more the better.

-->
Alex's eyes wander over the rail and into the crowd. There are many faces he doesn't recognize, but many that he still does. His eyes move right and to the back of the room where the bar stretches most of the back wall facing the stage. Alex always loved getting to the bar; there are two huge fans on each end that make getting through the hot and sweaty crowd to get a drink even more the better.





Something like this. Like I said, nothing major and mostly my personal preference I guess. Good luck finishing the story! maybe I'll read another chapter another morning:thumbup:



ps started on the bass yet?

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InvisibleCameron
Too Many Words
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Registered: 10/31/07
Posts: 4,437
Loc: Canada
Re: Something I have been working on again *LONG READ* [Re: automan]
    #8672084 - 07/23/08 02:19 PM (15 years, 7 months ago)

My only complaint so far is that the dialog sounds a little robotic in some places, and laid-back in others:

Quote:

“Hell, Cal, I would have walked right into you if you didn't smile.” said Alex.

“Alright,” Alex said. “I'll stay safe.”




This :thumbup:

Quote:

“Stay safe in there, kid. Do you know who is in there tonight?” He said.

“I do. He is here because I invited him.”




And this :thumbdown:

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