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OfflinegeokillsA
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Emotional Addictions.
    #8453764 - 05/28/08 02:44 AM (15 years, 9 months ago)

Happiness. Sadness. Pride. Self-loathing. Empathy. Disgust. Lust. Hate. Love. Anger.


Do you believe it is possible, or even probable, for humans to become addicted to a specific emotional response?


What is it that creates and reinforces this attachment to a feeling?
Why would one choose an addiction to a negative emotion?
If this is not a conscious choice, what then is the driver?

Can an emotional addiction be unlearned? How would you do it?


Have you recognized your emotional addictions? What are they?




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Offlinehaymaker
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Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: geokills]
    #8453851 - 05/28/08 03:24 AM (15 years, 9 months ago)

i'd say im definatly addicted to being in love (or more being loved actually), the first time i fell in love it changed my opinion of happiness, and now i can't go without it.

im not so bothered about being happy, i am perfectly fine as long as i am not sad, but love is different for me.


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InvisibleMr. Mushrooms
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Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: geokills] * 1
    #8453889 - 05/28/08 03:37 AM (15 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

geokills said:
Happiness. Sadness.  Pride. Self-loathing.  Empathy.  Disgust.  Lust.  Hate.  Love.  Anger.


Do you believe it is possible, or even probable, for humans to become addicted to a specific emotional response?




If addiction exists it is possible to be addicted to anything. So, yes, it is possible.


Quote:

What is it that creates and reinforces this attachment to a feeling?




I would think all addictions are based on "the big payoff," whatever that is for a particular person.


Quote:

Why would one choose an addiction to a negative emotion?




Preconditioning from previous life experiences, some probably from childhood imprinting.

Quote:

If this is not a conscious choice, what then is the driver?




Same answer.

Quote:

Can an emotional addiction be unlearned?  How would you do it?




The same way the preconditioned response is learned, from a "loving" group that held me accountable for my actions while remaining trustable--something built over time--but yet loving, gentle and kind.  Thus, the proverbial "support group."

This is why so many attempts at "self-help" fail.  In a real sense, self-help is a fraud.  It is very hard, if not impossible, to train yourself with regard to matters that can only be learned by interaction to a loving, healthy group.


Quote:

Have you recognized your emotional addictions?  What are they?




Those questions are presumptuous unless you have some special definition for an emotional addiction.  As I define it, I have none.

You're a thinker; I like that. :wink:

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Offlinebackfromthedead
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Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: Mr. Mushrooms]
    #8454645 - 05/28/08 09:58 AM (15 years, 9 months ago)

Happiness.  Sadness. Pride.  Self-loathing. Empathy. Disgust. Lust. Hate. Love. Anger.


Do you believe it is possible, or even probable, for humans to become addicted to a specific emotional response?  Yup.


What is it that creates and reinforces this attachment to a feeling?  The subtle Euphoria??
Why would one choose an addiction to a negative emotion?  Cause Love doesn't produce the trance I'm after...:ooo: 
If this is not a conscious choice, what then is the driver?  Dopamine??

Can an emotional addiction be unlearned? How would you do it?  Probably.  Electro-shock??:uptosomething:


Have you recognized your emotional addictions? What are they?  Yes.  I fuckin hate this.  But I love you.  Divine disgust.  Like this problem is perfect.:sad:


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: geokills]
    #8454718 - 05/28/08 10:14 AM (15 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Addiction
(relevant definition)
The condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with or or involved in something.




Yes, I think that it is entirely possible to become addicted (habituated) to experiencing particular emotional states.

First of all, humans tend to seek pleasure and avoid pain. This would seem to contradict our forming addictions to unpleasant emotions, unless one considers the comfort found in the familiar, as well as the neurological tendency to take the path of least resistance.

Once we have developed strong neural pathways related to angry thoughts, or sad thoughts, it will be easier for us to re-experience these thoughts. It will be more difficult to experience unfamiliar thoughts, such as those related to happiness or compassion. These neural "ruts" are laid down in utero and during the first five years of childhood. All of our unused neural "branches" are pruned, leaving only the ones which have been activated during those early years.

This is not to say that it is not possible to develop new neural connections via unfamiliar thinking, but rather that it takes constant awareness of our tendency to resort to the easy, familiar and habituated thoughts we learned long before we went to school.

I don't know that I would claim we can "unlearn" these habits, as it appears the structures remain in place despite new growth. What we can do is learn to be critical thinkers about our own thinking. We can learn to ask ourselves whether the emotion-based thoughts we are having are in alignment with our values. We can deliberately experience unfamiliar emotional states, and learn to sustain and broaden them with our thoughts. We can rationally dispute emotion-based thoughts which sustain and broaden our habituated emotional states.

My emotional addiction was anger. I was brought up to believe that anger(and all other emotions) was out of my control. I justified my melodramatic reactions by claiming that I had an "Irish temper." There seemed to be no space between event and reaction, and I believed that others/circumstances caused my anger.

I did not begin to question my emotional education until I was in my late 20's. Learning the basics of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, along with simple calming methods such as belly breathing and progressive muscle relaxation, transformed my relationship with my emotions. It became absolutely clear to me that I was responsible for my own emotional states, and that there was enough "space" between event and reaction to make responsible choices.

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OfflineBlueCoyote
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Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: geokills]
    #8454918 - 05/28/08 10:56 AM (15 years, 9 months ago)

Very good response veritas. We are not helplessly consigned (word?) to our feelings.

As I said in another thread about emotions was, that our rationality and logic (from our neocortex) can be seen as an evolutionarily new authority to gain some space over our emotions (resisting in some evolutionarily older parts of our brain). You are absolutely right about this.

Quote:

geokills said:
Happiness. Sadness.  Pride. Self-loathing.  Empathy.  Disgust.  Lust.  Hate.  Love.  Anger.


Do you believe it is possible, or even probable, for humans to become addicted to a specific emotional response?



Oh yes, as it is mainly the same like with any other addiction.

Quote:

What is it that creates and reinforces this attachment to a feeling?



Hormones and neurotransmitters, and of course the way veritas describes with the development of the brain and the easiest solution.

Quote:

Why would one choose an addiction to a negative emotion?



I think it's mainly about self-worth problems like attention, control and domination.

Quote:

If this is not a conscious choice, what then is the driver?



Evolutionary older parts of the brain.

Quote:

Can an emotional addiction be unlearned?  How would you do it?



Oh yes, rationality and logic can be a very good teacher about this.

Quote:

Have you recognized your emotional addictions?  What are they?



Falling in love which turns out to be 'false' love ever and ever again ? :lol:
Grudge against my father.


--------------------
Though lovers be lost love shall not  And death shall have no dominion
......................................................
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."Martin Luther King, Jr.
'Acceptance is the absolute key - at that moment you gain freedom and you gain power and you gain courage'

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: geokills]
    #8455055 - 05/28/08 11:33 AM (15 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

geokills said:
Happiness. Sadness.  Pride. Self-loathing.  Empathy.  Disgust.  Lust.  Hate.  Love.  Anger.


Do you believe it is possible, or even probable, for humans to become addicted to a specific emotional response?


What is it that creates and reinforces this attachment to a feeling?
Why would one choose an addiction to a negative emotion?
If this is not a conscious choice, what then is the driver?

Can an emotional addiction be unlearned?  How would you do it?


Have you recognized your emotional addictions?  What are they?



<img src=http://www.shroomery.org/forums/files/07-10/321419725-tallinn-clouds.jpg>




Yes we get addicted to emotional responses because they insured our survival at some time in the past. Humans tend to believe that what works once will always work or work any situation. A fear based survival response will not be overcome by rational thinking usually.One can learn to cope but never get rid of these primary responses IMO.

Yes I know my emotional addictions for the most part and it's none of your damn business.:evil:

But what I really really want to know is how you got those letters so small in that first statement?:whoa:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: Icelander]
    #8455079 - 05/28/08 11:39 AM (15 years, 9 months ago)

He's an Admin, so he can use special imbedded font codes. :mad:

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: Veritas]
    #8455086 - 05/28/08 11:42 AM (15 years, 9 months ago)

Well that's not fair, I suggest we steer this thread off course and into a discussion about certain peoples god like privileges. It doesn't seem like a very important topic anyway.:shrug:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: Icelander]
    #8455093 - 05/28/08 11:46 AM (15 years, 9 months ago)

I think it is important, but few people will understand why it is important, so we might as well bitch about not having access to font codes.  :shrug:

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: Veritas]
    #8455124 - 05/28/08 11:54 AM (15 years, 9 months ago)

That's kind of what I was saying. Geokills, please find some adults you can discuss this with in an intelligent rational manner. In another gallaxy perhaps.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: Icelander]
    #8455187 - 05/28/08 12:13 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

who is habituated to what?
sounds like we are talking about personality again.
could you imagine a pesonality treatment program?
imagine being healed from being yourself
then what would you be?


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OfflinegeokillsA
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Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: Icelander]
    #8455207 - 05/28/08 12:19 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

Hah!  :smirk:

As it is, I agree with the prevailing sentiment expressed in the responses thus far amassed.

I do believe humans can become addicted to specific emotional responses.  I also believe that this is a result of chemical habituation perpetuated through our neuro-chemical pathways.  I am not sure if this is strictly limited to our earliest years as infants and children, and while I can accept that these neuro-chemical pathways are more easily reinforced as a young human, I also believe that consciously imposed habitual behavior at any age can foster an emotional addiction.  However, I will consent that consciously imposed emotional addiction becomes considerably more difficult with increased age, as we have spent so many years defining and strengthening our most frequented neural pathways, and those that have remained unused and unfamiliar to us will be difficult to find and foster into a strong and natural response.

So with respect to negative emotional addiction, I would believe that these pathways are most often reinforced during our earliest youth; but that we do have the ability to consciously choose new pathways to exercise and strengthen as we age.  Easy?  Far from it.  But I would hope, for myself and those I love, even for all humanity (and in turn the experience which surrounds me), that it is possible to manipulate one's emotional addictions towards positive benefit.

How this can be done is the inquisition I had intended to be the focus of this topic.  I very much appreciate Veritas' suggestion that there is enough space between an event and our reaction, to make a responsible and conscious choice as to what emotions we allow to manifest through our reaction.  I have long been trying to improve this present-moment consciousness in myself, such that I may minimize what I find to be negative emotional response, and I would like to hear about how you or anyone else would teach or inspire other humans to follow similar paths seeking a goal of positive emotional shift.

Put plainly, I would like to know how I may gently encourage my partner to let go of a defensive and hostile disposition toward commentary that does not agree with her own views of the world about her.  I am looking to breed tolerance and understanding.  Is this too lofty a goal?  Am I myself being intolerant for wanting to change her natural responses in this way?


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: geokills]
    #8455252 - 05/28/08 12:42 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

Unless and until your partner is interested in altering her habitual emotional reactions, any change is impossible.  Once she is interested, change will merely be next to impossible.  :grin:

Links which you may wish to share to pique her interest:

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy

Anger Management

Emotional Intelligence

Non-violent Communication

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Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: geokills]
    #8455298 - 05/28/08 01:00 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

I heard that cells actually develop more receptors for peptides associated with habitual emotions.

Solid medical references are so hard to find though. :ohwell:

G.I. Gurjieff told his students not to express negative emotions and made them do tons of repetitive work.
He said that through grounding in physical body awareness we can catch remember ourselves. Eckhart Tolle says the same thing.
Something about the physical, emotional and intellectual center's chain of command needs to be reversed...

Anyway, I recommend this book a lot because it's that good, you should get it for her.

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OfflineBlueCoyote
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Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: geokills]
    #8455366 - 05/28/08 01:24 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

Being caught in an emotional addiction usually means they fall down on some lower rational level at the same time. They begin to behave irrational.
That's the point for the lever to set. Bringing them back to rationality, that's the onliest hope to see, so they can balance their feelings by themselves and not be ridden by them.


--------------------
Though lovers be lost love shall not  And death shall have no dominion
......................................................
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."Martin Luther King, Jr.
'Acceptance is the absolute key - at that moment you gain freedom and you gain power and you gain courage'

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InvisibleMr. Mushrooms
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Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: geokills]
    #8455945 - 05/28/08 04:30 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

geokills said:

How this can be done is the inquisition I had intended to be the focus of this topic.  I very much appreciate Veritas' suggestion that there is enough space between an event and our reaction, to make a responsible and conscious choice as to what emotions we allow to manifest through our reaction.  I have long been trying to improve this present-moment consciousness in myself, such that I may minimize what I find to be negative emotional response, and I would like to hear about how you or anyone else would teach or inspire other humans to follow similar paths seeking a goal of positive emotional shift.

Put plainly, I would like to know how I may gently encourage my partner to let go of a defensive and hostile disposition toward commentary that does not agree with her own views of the world about her.  I am looking to breed tolerance and understanding.  Is this too lofty a goal?  Am I myself being intolerant for wanting to change her natural responses in this way?




It's not my intention to wrangle over terms, but I respectfully disagree with some of Veritas' presuppositions.  I am quite familiar with Ellis' work et al, but found it useless with everyone I have ever known that tried it in a vaccuum.  I would agree with the rest of his ideas.

Is your goal too lofty?  No, I don't think it is.  In addition, you are in a great place to see some dynamic change if you are willing to work with her.  You have the advantage of actually being part of her support network outside her family.  She must be assured of your love and she must trust you.  Without that, there will be little to no healing.  Yes, you can love her into health.  However, as Veritas said, she has to be willing to change and so should you.  The dynamic between a couple is that we let our guard down and let at least one other person see us as we truly are.  Or at least that is the way it should work.  That being the case, you can let her know when what she says makes you feel uncomfortable, or better yet, when you see it disturbs her peace and damages her relationships with others.

Are you being intolerant?  Without closely inspecting the relationship, something nearly impossible online, there is no exact way to know.  It would seem from your manner here you probably aren't or are to a small degree.  It is a dangerous path to tread to wish someone close to us may change.  First, the differences between ourselves and our loved ones give us the chance to grow and accept others for what they are, which is true love.  False love wants a mirror image of ourselves or someone "easy to love."

I am sure by now you know there is no one like that.  Love makes us vulnerable.

Peace my friend, and good loving. :wink:

ps I noticed upon editing the center script html is on my post and I can't remove it.  Hopefully it will vanish when I click Continue.


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: Mr. Mushrooms]
    #8455981 - 05/28/08 04:40 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Yes, you can love her into health.




IMO this is a fallacious statement.  Being loved is beneficial, but cannot create health.  If she truly WANTS to change her habitual reactions, she may be able to do so through intense self-confrontation and the development of rational disputation skills.  It may be easier for her to do so within a loving relationship, but this does not mean that she has been "loved into health."  This sounds more like co-dependence than a balanced relationship of equals.  :shrug:

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InvisibleMr. Mushrooms
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Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: Veritas]
    #8456164 - 05/28/08 05:14 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Veritas said:
Quote:

Yes, you can love her into health.




IMO this is a fallacious statement.  Being loved is beneficial, but cannot create health.  If she truly WANTS to change her habitual reactions, she may be able to do so through intense self-confrontation and the development of rational disputation skills.  It may be easier for her to do so within a loving relationship, but this does not mean that she has been "loved into health."  This sounds more like co-dependence than a balanced relationship of equals.  :shrug:




No one gets healthy without love.  I don't want to wrangle the point and I won't.  I have no need to defend my ideas here or elsewhere for that matter.  There are over 200 different prescriptions for emotional health from professionals with doctorate degrees and they disagree constantly.  To argue the point(s) here would be an exercise in futility.

Consider, if you will, a person who has self-stoking patterns of abuse built into their life from childhood.  These are reinforcing, even when the outcome is painful.  People live entire lives trapped in these emotional prisons without ever getting released.

They can only be released by love.  Not love that is co-dependent for that isn't love at all.  But love that accepts the person for who they are while not accepting unacceptable behaviors-tough love, if you will.

No man is an island and no one gets healed alone.  This is why support groups have the lowest rate of recidivism and why individual counseling, while sometimes necessary, oftentimes fails.  We need more than a book or ourselves to be well.  We need others to love and be loved by.

That's all I'm willing to say on this.

Thanks for your response.


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Emotional Addictions. [Re: Mr. Mushrooms]
    #8456196 - 05/28/08 05:20 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

While you are certainly entitled to your opinion, you have not provided any real support for your claims.  If you do not wish to discuss or debate, why bother to post in this forum?  :confused:

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