My first experience with the magical psilocybe was whilst i was abroad, and a friend had brought a few cubes back from Amsterdam. there were 4 3-4 inch cubes in the bag, we split them (too bad they're illegal now in Amsterdam). Wasn't too intense, nothing really mental. Marble was very interesting, liquid-y, outside street lights reflected paisley patterns off the wet asphalt (no colors). My second experience was rather interesting in that it was totally unplanned. Whilst abroad (probably roughly 1 year before this night, i heavily researched shroomery, for what to expect, how to handle if things go bad... What i thought was necessary information for ME). I am glad that my second experience wasn't as planned, because I was able to judge the cubes Whit a fresh open mind, rather than hoping for something that someone else had experienced, also, having read no bad trip reports (or anything psychedelic related for the past year), i was not nearly as paranoid about things going bad. Now, since this was a year ago, my memory of the events that transpired aren't extremely clear, but they are good enough. It was a trip that took me the better part of 2 months to completely "get" over. 3 other good buddies, people i felt rather comfortable with, each ingested ~3.5g's of mms. no idea of the strain, but they were definitely cubes. We sat around his living room waiting for them to kick in. I remember feeling a somewhat familiar "wideness" to my stomach and limbs, that i always try to remember, but can only truly remember it when I'm tripping. I don't' remember what we did, i believe we were passing around a guitar and jamming. It was pretty incredible, sound was "different".... no words can explain why/how. Visually, it wasn't too intense for me, the one thing that I really did notice is "white" light. It looks far more intense than normal. I mean the light that reflects off of your clothing (for example), especially from the sun. It radiates. Trees and bark looked very flow-ish, and leaves especially had a river like quality to them. I remember being incredibly happy, laughing more hard than I ever have on drugs: My friend took my other friends dog for a walk, came back out of breath, saying "guys, i lost the dog" (we were all tripping by this point), I made some stupid ass comment like "well, why don't you call him back for supper", and broke out into hysterics. Very strange, but highly enjoyable. Somewhere along the line, we rolled a few joints, and proceeded to smoke them. I was expecting to feel the onset of a regular ganja high set in, however, noticeably, i wasn't able to feel the mj, other than it bolstering my mental tripping to a whole new level. I do not thing i will smoke weed while tripping again. As a side note, I am a somewhat paranoid individual. oftentimes, marijuana will raise my paranoia, its something I've learned to deal with and accept, however not in a psychedelic state. I will now do my best to reiterate what happened. My friend and I, not sure where the other 2 had gone off to however i do remember one of my friends taking a time out in the bathroom for around 45 minutes, were sitting on the couch smoking some hookah. I was amazed at the size of rips i could take, and proceeded to smoke more and more. we smoked for 1-2 hours straight, easily. It was really trippy, it felt like we were (i say we because we both felt exactly the same) were smoking out of a living, breathing, octopus type structure. After this, things started going sour. I was examining my life in a way i had never experienced, memories i had not thought about since childhood were blooming in my psyche, some good some bad. Time was utterly meaningless, i remember thinking of my childhood, and where i was and who i had become now, and that all i did to get to where i was was "fold time in half" and jump forward. It was almost as if i felt time travel was possible, and that it wasn't time as humans perceive it, but time as it truly "is". This scared me. I remember realizing how insignificant we as humans are int he scheme of things, namely the universe. that we are merely a spec of dust on the fabric of time. I remember vividly seeing a view of the world, through a control-room of some sort, with a red dot in the lower left hand corner (think as if you are looking through large glass windows),and thinking that there was some "being" controlling my life, and everyone around me. This scared me even more. This was scary, yes, but not in a "terrifying" way. I was able to truly accept it while i was tripping. However, what brought me down to the depths was when i started thinking about my family, and i was brought back to one particular instance in my life. I had just recently returned from a year long exchange in turkey. I was showing my dad some pictures of me at "truva" or troy, peeking out the window of the mock-up wooden horse. I told my dad that this was the real horse actually used in the battle for troy so many years ago, and he believed me. I was just kidding, and told him that it wasn't etc. etc. However, while tripping, i blew this way out of proportion and began to think that my dad was ignorant to many things. Even stupid, and that i am, and will end up exactly like him. It was extremely horrifying, and i remember thinking about this for the remainder of the trip, completely in a thought loop. All i was able to say to my friends was "My life, my life..." i was pretty incoherent. I couldn't stop thinking about this for weeks after the trip, but eventually snapped out of it. Overall, i am happy and grateful for this trip, because i was able to overcome an incredible block in my conscience, that I am no good, or that I am insignificant. These feelings, i realized have been with me far prior to the trip. Being confronted with them head on did send me into somewhat of a depression , however, i was able to get through it, and come out with a far stronger mind. Probably pretty confusing, and to those of you who made it all the way though, I'm thankful. Any thoughts and/or input is welcome.
-------------------- Manicc
Edited by Manicc (01/14/08 09:12 PM)
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