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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 15 days, 22 hours
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I am asleep
#7424332 - 09/18/07 03:42 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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Right now I am wandering through reality in a state of half or quarter consciousness. I look at things and interact with things in the hopes that they will point to other things which will bring me happiness. Occassionally there are moments of peace, awe, contentment. Occassionally there is laughter. Mostly, though, it's just... fjsldjfaslkjd *song that I listened to 3 days ago playing on repeat loop in my head* lkfjdlksdjlf What a weird dream.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group
Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,441
Loc: Under the C
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Re: I am asleep [Re: Lion]
#7424338 - 09/18/07 03:44 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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How do you determine yourself to be 25-50% awake unless you have once been 100% awake?
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 15 days, 22 hours
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Good point. I guess that was just a rough estimate.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 15 days, 22 hours
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Re: I am asleep [Re: Lion]
#7424348 - 09/18/07 03:47 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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Dang, I was really hoping I would never post another thread like this. Complaining instead of changing.... sigh...
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: I am asleep [Re: Lion]
#7424355 - 09/18/07 03:48 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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Join the club.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Middleman
Registered: 07/11/99
Posts: 8,399
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Re: I am asleep [Re: Lion]
#7424357 - 09/18/07 03:49 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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I read in "Practical Guide to Psychic Self Defense" that thought-loops and repeating music in the mind is a means by which Astral Parasites drain us of subtle energies...
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 15 days, 22 hours
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Re: I am asleep [Re: Icelander]
#7424361 - 09/18/07 03:50 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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I'm the one on the front right. Dude's chillin'.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: I am asleep [Re: Lion]
#7424370 - 09/18/07 03:52 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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It's easy to see that you drink coke instead of pepsi.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 3 years, 24 days
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Re: I am asleep [Re: Lion]
#7424385 - 09/18/07 03:56 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
bug said: Dang, I was really hoping I would never post another thread like this. Complaining instead of changing.... sigh...
What exactly do you try to change? From what I understood, you are not contempt with the feeling that you get from this moment, because it doesn't correspond to some ideal feeling that you have in mind. Maybe try to change to change your perception upon the feeling? It's your rhythm, maybe it's what you need right now, why fight it?
-------------------- All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 15 days, 22 hours
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Thanks.
I try to change my diet and exercise habits, mostly, and keep my mind from projecting too much into the future.
I guess I've just been letting negativity build up in me because I just moved to school and so far I haven't made many friends or connected well with anyone, and I've been spending sooo much time posting stupid things here. And I live in a weird environment that is not conducive to having any kind of social life - renting a room from a 60 year old guy who goes to bed at 8:30 pm. I am feeling like I am just sitting here letting my life fly on by.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: I am asleep [Re: Lion]
#7424400 - 09/18/07 04:03 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
bug said: Right now I am wandering through reality in a state of half or quarter consciousness. I look at things and interact with things in the hopes that they will point to other things which will bring me happiness. Occassionally there are moments of peace, awe, contentment. Occassionally there is laughter. Mostly, though, it's just... fjsldjfaslkjd *song that I listened to 3 days ago playing on repeat loop in my head* lkfjdlksdjlf What a weird dream.
I suggest renting a room from a cheerleader. Then life once again will be full of promise.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,062
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Re: I am asleep [Re: Icelander]
#7424425 - 09/18/07 04:12 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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great nattering lots of pulling together. i see no problem here. let orgones be orgones
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 15 days, 22 hours
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nattering - Thanks for the vocab word.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 3 years, 24 days
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Re: I am asleep [Re: Lion]
#7424444 - 09/18/07 04:20 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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Well, do you think you have the means to change your environment? Because if you can't do that (for the moment), it means that you'll have to learn to live with it. I've been in a similar situation a few years ago, where the environment I lived in was "against" what I wanted to do. Meaning that it stopped me from making new friends back at school because I couldn't relate to anybody, and my step dad, which was a pain in the ass, decided to live in the house I lived in. This gave me no personal space, privacy, and any attempt to get together with some of my old friends turned into a failure. This was because any time I had someone over everything was so awkward because my step dad was there too. I was depressed because of his presence, which also made me unable to enjoy visiting my friends. So all I could do was to spend a lot of time by myself, when I wanted something else. Coming to think about it, this was an experience which made me grow a lot because I had to face many fears of different kinds and lots of discomforts. The reward was that I finally learned to become my best company and eliminate all that anxiety.
-------------------- All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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Rahz
Alive Again
Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,300
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Re: I am asleep [Re: Lion]
#7424469 - 09/18/07 04:29 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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>>>>I try to change my diet and exercise habits, mostly, and keep my mind from projecting too much into the future.
What do you do aside from exterior stuff (diet/exercise)? I take it you meditate?
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "The object of opening the mind, as of opening the mouth, is to shut it again on something solid." - Gilbert Keith Chesterton
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dblaney
Human Being
Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
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Re: I am asleep [Re: Lion]
#7424770 - 09/18/07 05:26 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
I am feeling like I am just sitting here letting my life fly on by.
Honestly man, it sounds like you've just got too much free time on your hands. Have you joined any stu. orgs, or applied for any jobs, or volunteered your time, or anything of that sort?
Whenever I have a lot of time without much that needs to be done, I find that I tend to wallow in fantasies about what I could be doing, or what others are doing, and how much fun others are having, and trying to intellectually figure out why it is that I don't feel how I think I should feel (completely satisfied and fulfilled...ah wouldn't that be nice ).
But that's just me. If you get bored, you could always just sit a lot more. Have a mini-sesshin, or just deepen your practice.
-------------------- "What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?" "Belief is a beautiful armor But makes for the heaviest sword" - John Mayer Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin. "This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
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Re: I am asleep [Re: dblaney]
#7424790 - 09/18/07 05:32 PM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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Yeah, the things you're suggesting are essentially the right answers, I just need to hear them from someone else once in awhile I guess. I have been meditating much more recently and I've joined a really sweet student organization. I'm just up against old habits, ya know, I've always been pretty lethargic about getting involved in stuff - or, like, actually spending as much time on schoolwork as I should be.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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Grok
Has Been a Bad Boy
Registered: 12/03/03
Posts: 1,262
Loc: Greener Pastures
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
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Re: I am asleep [Re: Rahz]
#7426535 - 09/19/07 12:13 AM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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Well I guess this is an opportune topic for me to fly off the handle.
I share your sentiment of being asleep. I have been fully awake before and by that standard I'd say we're all just a bunch of sleepwalkers. Admittingly I spend my life sleepwalking but I know I do it.
We get out of bed in the morning and consider ourselves ripe awake. But that's just part of the game, to make us think we're fully present in Now. When you sleep you dream and this is the dream. A metaphor. There is another side of it. One would not hardly want to blink much less sleep if they were truly awake and there.
Consider this nonsense and proceed with your wakeful life.
-------------------- Entropy is increasing. To send me a PM, go to my journal
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fireworks_god
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
Registered: 03/12/02
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-------------------- If I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear For I've never known completeness Like being here Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you
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Kinematics
coyote vision
Registered: 10/01/06
Posts: 662
Loc: Colorado
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Re: I am asleep [Re: Middleman]
#7427264 - 09/19/07 08:43 AM (16 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Middleman said: I read in "Practical Guide to Psychic Self Defense" that thought-loops and repeating music in the mind is a means by which Astral Parasites drain us of subtle energies...
Interesting theory. There is constantly music in my head, no matter what time of day or what I'm doing. There isno radio in my car, and I have to remind myself sometimes that there isn't one. I'll be driving along, drumming happily on my steering wheel with my fingers, and then I'll realize.. 'oh wait, it's in my head'
I wonder what it means.
Edited by Kinematics (09/19/07 08:43 AM)
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