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OfflineHyper_Panda_GO
Team Action!


Registered: 05/28/06
Posts: 9,720
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
I found one of my old poems (The Blueberry Place Murder Mystery)
    #7236402 - 07/29/07 12:52 PM (16 years, 7 months ago)

I forget what school function this was from (probably a prayer service)

And here it is, unfinished

On a dreary summer’s eve, meant to lust and to deceive
Lay the bodies of lover’s young, gone of passion, gone of fun
The dirt scene quickly drew a crowd, all who mourned and cried so loud
For the still life youths just had to be the dying town’s epitome
They lay like sticks stuck in the mud, or fallen rose stolen of bud
Their askew and eyes deflamed of caressing dreams and marriage games

Officer Oakley was the first man around, an alcoholic crying clown
Of stormy past and turbulent now, for don’t you know he’s always down?
Maybe McNully’s, or sometimes Pete’s, but always in a rummy steep
Swirling, twirling and running him dry until so parched that he could cry


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OfflinePinballWizard
Naive and Gullible as usual

Registered: 03/20/04
Posts: 2,804
Last seen: 9 years, 11 months
Re: I found one of my old poems (The Blueberry Place Murder Mystery) [Re: Hyper_Panda_GO]
    #7238619 - 07/29/07 11:16 PM (16 years, 7 months ago)

Hey, I like it.

Quote:

They lay like sticks stuck in the mud, or fallen rose stolen of bud
Their askew and eyes deflamed of caressing dreams and marriage games




I don't understand the wording in the second half of the first line, or first half of the second line.

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OfflineHyper_Panda_GO
Team Action!


Registered: 05/28/06
Posts: 9,720
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: I found one of my old poems (The Blueberry Place Murder Mystery) [Re: PinballWizard]
    #7238981 - 07/30/07 02:24 AM (16 years, 7 months ago)

Hmm, that is some awkward wording...

They lay like sticks stuck in mud, or fallen roses stolen of bud

Basically a still life, or death rather, especially reinforced by the second half of the sentence, though looking at it, the first half would need some work...

Their hair askew and eyes deflamed of caressing dreams and marriage games

I assume when people die the life goes out of their eyes, which is what happened here


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