Home | Community | Message Board


This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1
OfflineSneezingPenis
ACHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!111!
 User Gallery
Registered: 01/15/05
Posts: 15,427
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Do I have a shitty dad?
    #6844210 - 04/28/07 03:25 AM (16 years, 10 months ago)

My dad lives in Biloxi, MS. I have lived in Nashville, TN for the last 3 1/2 years. 6 months ago, I bought house 4 months after turning 24.
Now, in the 3 and a half years of living in Nashville, my dad visited me once, which at the time, I lived in an apartment that was the size of my living room right now..... I lived there the first year I lived in Nashville.
He stayed the night one day, and only because he was on his way back from a business trip.

My dad works 4 days a week, and in the last 3 years has gone on 3 week long cruise ship vacations and countless golf and fishing vacations. So he makes plenty of money, and has plenty of time...

but has yet to come see the house I have bought.

History: If I had to grade my dad, i would give him a B-. He is a great guy, very honest and very real.
I have a half brother, who was almost entirely raised by him. My dad raised me, in conjunction with my mom, until I was 10... then my mom raised me.
My brother is now 28, a fuck up in so many ways from jail to drug addiction.
So over the last few years, as I have succeeded in life, and my brother has continued to fail, I have sensed some sort of animosity from my dad. Kind of like, he is slightly pissed off that I have succeeded while my brother has floundered... which to him proves that he is a worthless dad (not my opinion of him btw.... he is overall a great dad).

Now, I have an entire room in my house that is completely unoccupied, I have no roommates, and Nashville has some great golf courses..... all of these things I have tried to bait him with have yet to work, and everytime we talk I ask him when he is coming up to see me, he says he would love to.

I just dont get it. I mean, if you had a son, forget that.... a friend who just bought a new house, and they invited you to come see it, wouldnt you go if you could?

or does all of this sound like really gay "my dad doesnt love me" whining? I wasnt going to post this because it sounded pretty gay in my head as I tried to read it like someone else posted it.... but then I thought maybe some future or current dad would read this and gain some insight.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
Female User Gallery


Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 3 years, 15 days
Re: Do I have a shitty dad? [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #6844274 - 04/28/07 04:40 AM (16 years, 10 months ago)

I don't think your dad is shitty. I think he just don't know how to handle you, maybe because he has the impression he sucks as a dad.
There are some people which the more they want to do "wonders" in a particular domain, the more they screw it up. Maybe your dad is one of them :justdontknow:.
That could explain in a way the fact that in other domains he's a great guy.

I'd suggest you a new tactic. Don't ever mention his to come visit you. Tell him about your life, about what's great in it and what sucks and that's all. Ask him how he's doing... but stop telling him to come. Maybe he just feels guilty that ha didn't come for so long that he just keeps postponing it and hearing you reminding that things he only remembers his flaws.

Maybe that way he'll remove the guilt trip related to you and he'll come see you by himself.
These things can hurt and I can understand exactly why they hurt you, but try to set your mind in such a manner to be the wise one. One of you (either you or your dad) has to do that. And obviously your dad does not.

All in all you know him better & you can tell where there might be some truth in what I've just said or not. But I don't think your dad doesn't love you, a father (parent) who doesn't feel love for his kid does not behave like your dad does.


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleelbisivni
Registered: 10/01/06
Posts: 2,839
Re: Do I have a shitty dad? [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #6845084 - 04/28/07 12:13 PM (16 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

MushroomTrip said:
I'd suggest you a new tactic. Don't ever mention his to come visit you. Tell him about your life, about what's great in it and what sucks and that's all. Ask him how he's doing... but stop telling him to come. Maybe he just feels guilty that ha didn't come for so long that he just keeps postponing it and hearing you reminding that things he only remembers his flaws.



This is very good advice. In requesting something of him, directly or indirectly, you might come across to him as possessive or even manipulative.

As a general rule (of the past since I am now so horribly alone), in order to remain friends with an ex-girlfriend I'd have to let the situation get to a point where they would no longer be asking me to hang out all the time. Because there was a manipulative self interest aspect to it that would turn me off. When the situation, the words and the tone changed, that's when things...changed and all was good in the land of the lost.



edit: sp


--------------------
From dust you are made and to dust you shall return.

Edited by elbisivni (04/28/07 01:34 PM)

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male


Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: Do I have a shitty dad? [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #6846281 - 04/28/07 06:25 PM (16 years, 10 months ago)

I think your dad is self absorbed to the exclusion of you.

You could do what I did with my dad. Move on. Best choice I ever made.:thumbup:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleShroomismM
Space Travellin
Male User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 66,015
Loc: 9th Dimension Flag
Re: Do I have a shitty dad? [Re: Icelander]
    #6846414 - 04/28/07 06:57 PM (16 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Icelander said:
You could do what I did with my dad. Move on. Best choice I ever made.:thumbup:




Same here. Although my dad was pretty shitty; i.e: beating me as a child, running off on my mom, not paying child support, never helping out in bad situations, not being there, etc.. etc.. etc..

One of the best decisions I made was to just cut him out of my life completely. he was just one disappointment and broken promise after another.

Your situation sounds a bit different though..


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleZippoZM
Knomadic
 User Gallery


Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
Re: Do I have a shitty dad? [Re: Shroomism]
    #6846599 - 04/28/07 07:43 PM (16 years, 10 months ago)

forgive me for jumping off the deep end, but i would wonder if he was really my dad if he was so distant from me....

i mean, there has to be some sort of reason, what happened when you were 10?


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinedreadheadgurl
still kickin
Female


Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 79
Loc: U S OF A
Last seen: 15 years, 2 months
Re: Do I have a shitty dad? [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #6847422 - 04/28/07 11:26 PM (16 years, 10 months ago)

I would have to say no. Your dad sounds like he's just guilty, like what pretty much everyone else has been saying, don't ask about his visiting, just focus on current events.
-dhg


--------------------
I may be crazy but it is the one thing that keeps me from going insane. --Waylon Jennings

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1

Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Shitty job, not enough time, and going no where
( 1 2 all )
Tasty_Smurf_House 4,697 32 08/26/04 07:21 PM
by Tasty_Smurf_House
* my relationship with my dad wrestler_az 1,041 6 06/29/06 01:44 AM
by WIZOLZ
* My Dad Alien 1,297 14 09/14/04 03:22 PM
by LorTab
* I had shitty parents Ellis Dee 1,904 7 04/19/03 02:37 AM
by sir tripsalot
* Feeling Shitty About Life DellComputers 1,414 5 09/20/03 01:30 AM
by Strumpling
* why is my dad such a fucking prick? wrestler_az 18,106 15 10/12/17 08:01 PM
by wrestler_az
* My Dad JesusChrist 890 8 07/03/04 01:13 AM
by 40oz
* My dad scotsmushie 986 7 08/28/05 03:52 PM
by tomk

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: CherryBom, Rose, mndfreeze, yogabunny, feevers, CookieCrumbs, Northerner
1,213 topic views. 0 members, 1 guests and 3 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.029 seconds spending 0.008 seconds on 15 queries.