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SneezingPenis
ACHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!111!
Registered: 01/15/05
Posts: 15,427
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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I felt like I was tripping tonight.....
#6600573 - 02/23/07 01:22 AM (17 years, 28 days ago) |
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So... this royal diva comes into my venue. She has never been on stage before, and her only exposure to "playing music" has been singing in a studio with a headphone cue mix. (if this is all sanskrit to you, dont worry). So, she comes to soundcheck late and after one "check" of her mic, begins telling me how to do my job.
So she sends her boyfriend, who (I shit you not), is dressed like he just stepped off the grand ole opry line dancing crew, cowboy hat and all, wearing a fucking eye patch. So, the pirate cowboy comes over and starts yakking in my ear while I am trying to make the diva happy (which is impossible at this point) and her manager keeps frantically pacing back and forth between the stage and the soundboard telling me verbatim the things they are telling me on stage.
At this point, I couldnt decide whether or not to just start shaking my head and laughing, or tell these people to go fuck themselves.
Finally, we get past soundcheck and we fast forward to the actual show. This bitch must have taken some painkillers or xanax, and then chased them with a few shots of crown. She wobbles onto the stage, seeming slightly buzzed and then begins to sing.... at which point everyone in the club realizes she is absolutely shitfaced. She is slurring and going mute at points because her voice is giving out from being so numb and then she stumbles into/eats the microphone in the middle of a song. Her entire band has this look of bewilderment on their face, not really thinking about playing their instrument, but rather being prepared to catch her when she falls over (which seems like any second).
I dont know why her manager didnt pull her off the stage, they had 8 representatives from 8 different labels/organizations who got up and left after the first song. Eventually, she gets pulled off of stage and her guitarist closes the show saying "everyone give __________ a round of applause" and the 30 or so people left in the building are too stunned to even clap.
This bitch was Anna Nicole Smith wasted on stage while her pirate cowboy boyfriend was telling me to turn up her "cat-in-heat" drunken yodeling.
It was one of those times where I thought to myself "If I was tripping right now, i would literally have to flee.... like fucking run away in mid conversation, screaming".
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CantiSama
Registered: 10/21/04
Posts: 794
Last seen: 5 months, 29 days
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Re: I felt like I was tripping tonight..... [Re: SneezingPenis]
#6600580 - 02/23/07 01:24 AM (17 years, 28 days ago) |
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crazy story. people are fucked up.
how did you get into running live sound?
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Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; Man got to sit and wonder 'why, why, why?' Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land; Man got to tell himself he understand.
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SneezingPenis
ACHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!111!
Registered: 01/15/05
Posts: 15,427
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: I felt like I was tripping tonight..... [Re: CantiSama]
#6600583 - 02/23/07 01:25 AM (17 years, 28 days ago) |
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sucked off the right people. Gave great reach-arounds.... you know, the norm.
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CantiSama
Registered: 10/21/04
Posts: 794
Last seen: 5 months, 29 days
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Re: I felt like I was tripping tonight..... [Re: SneezingPenis]
#6600598 - 02/23/07 01:31 AM (17 years, 28 days ago) |
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ha, figures. i was optimistic that there was another way but I've yet to hear that story.
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Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; Man got to sit and wonder 'why, why, why?' Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land; Man got to tell himself he understand.
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elaspeinreason
psychonaut
Registered: 07/31/05
Posts: 1,029
Loc: fairfax virginia
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Re: I felt like I was tripping tonight..... [Re: SneezingPenis]
#6600622 - 02/23/07 01:41 AM (17 years, 28 days ago) |
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i am all to familiar with needing to flee feeling. haha.i mean honestly ( after realizing that Mr Priate and his shipwreck of a girlfriend werent more than yesterdays shit) did you even bother putting them in there place ? or better yet OUT of your place. the (assumed) halfass manager should be slapped for such embarassment.
at least have the courtesy to tell the pirate ...he aint no fuckin pirate. ill second the " people are fucked " idea.
-------------------- Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one Diploid said: What's with proclaiming freedom by abridging freedom? That makes no sense.
Edited by elaspeinreason (02/23/07 01:50 AM)
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