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LuciferSam
no turn leftunstoned
Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 426
Loc: Sconny Botland
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
#6431332 - 01/06/07 02:12 PM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: I don't remember.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road .. it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
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nightkrawler
explorer
Registered: 06/18/04
Posts: 2,980
Loc: new england
Last seen: 5 years, 8 months
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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? [Re: LuciferSam]
#6431338 - 01/06/07 02:14 PM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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-------------------- Not all who wander are lost - J.R.R. Tolkien
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Schwip
Never sleeps.
Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 3,937
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? [Re: LuciferSam]
#6431346 - 01/06/07 02:18 PM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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-------------------- -------------------------------- " If the sky were to suddenly open up there would be no law. There would be no rule. There would only be you and your memories... the choices you've made, and the people you've touched. If this world were to end there would only be you and him and no-one else. " .............. "MAN! You know there aint no such thing as left over crack!"
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Hyper_Panda_GO
Team Action!
Registered: 05/28/06
Posts: 9,720
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? [Re: LuciferSam]
#6431362 - 01/06/07 02:23 PM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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I laughed hardest at the Emerson one because I hate him
-------------------- There is no valid reason you should be reading this
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Silversoul
Rhizome
Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? [Re: LuciferSam]
#6431378 - 01/06/07 02:30 PM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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JOHN KERRY: I voted for the chicken to cross the road before I voted against it. When I was in Vietnam, they forced us to shoot chickens crossing the road.
GEORGE W BUSH: You've just heard my opponent -- wrong chicken, wrong road, wrong time. How do you think that makes the chicken feel? Stay the course!
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Gr8fulJ420
strange but nota stranger
Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 2,778
Loc: 0 moco
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? [Re: Silversoul]
#6431758 - 01/06/07 04:13 PM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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There are lots wild chickens in the area I live.
I wonder "why?" everytime I see one of those things cross the road.
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AlteredAgain
Visual Alchemist
Registered: 04/27/06
Posts: 11,181
Loc: Solar Circuit
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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? [Re: LuciferSam]
#6431810 - 01/06/07 04:26 PM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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PLATO: For the greater good.
FRIEDRICK NIETZSCHE: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
OLIVER NORTH: National Security was at stake.
CARL JUNG: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
JACK NICHOLSON: 'Cause it fucking wanted to. THAT'S the fucking reason.
THE SPHINX: You tell me.
LAO-TSE: If I told you, it would prove I don't know.
ALEISTER CROWLEY: Because it was his Will, and therefore the Whole of His Law.
TERENCE MCKENNA: He was impelled by the backward shockwave of the Eschaton towards the self-replicating machine hens glittering hyperspatially across the road.
ROBERT ANTON WILSON: Because the Illuminati had manipulated him into Reality Tunnel #23.
AL GORE: Because I designed the Information Superhighway so that all chickens, especially American ones, can cross under our benevolent supervision.
OPRAH WINFREY: He was reacting to a repressed traumatic caponisation in his childhood which he will now share with us in detail.
BODDHIDARMA: Bring me that chicken.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BUDDHA: There is no chicken.
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UncleLuke
Crack andlasers.
Registered: 04/28/05
Posts: 3,167
Loc: North Florida
Last seen: 16 years, 7 months
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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? [Re: AlteredAgain]
#6431890 - 01/06/07 04:55 PM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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RONALD REAGAN: I don't remember.
lmao
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GnuBobo
Frilly Cuffs Extraordinaire
Registered: 06/17/04
Posts: 43,754
Loc: Charisma
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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? [Re: LuciferSam]
#6431905 - 01/06/07 05:01 PM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
LuciferSam said:
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
roffelz
-------------------- Jerry Garcia. JERRY GARCIA! JERRY GARCIA!!!!
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Scratcher
Stranger
Registered: 01/05/00
Posts: 2,323
Loc: eH
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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? [Re: LuciferSam]
#6431907 - 01/06/07 05:02 PM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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reminds me of a dead baby joke:
why did the dead baby cross the road?
it was stapled to the chicken
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AlteredAgain
Visual Alchemist
Registered: 04/27/06
Posts: 11,181
Loc: Solar Circuit
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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? [Re: Scratcher]
#6431912 - 01/06/07 05:03 PM (17 years, 2 months ago) |
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