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ZippoZ
Knomadic
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
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for the first night in a long long time, im not drunk
#6069565 - 09/17/06 12:30 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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i think that for atleast the last 3 weeks i have drank every night, and before that wasnt any better.
i seem to have a problem with it, i admit it.
so i decided to do somthing about it.
tonight i havent had a single drink. its a nice change from what usually happens which is me drinking untill i feel like passing out in my room. every night. hell ive basically been drunk for about 3 some years.....
The god damn alcahol is destroying my mind and my creativity, 2 of the things that i hold as my greatest strengths. its getting in the way of me and my friendships and really not helping me keep rational thought in line.
all of this drinking is just destroying me, who i want to be, destroying my ability to turn my dreams into reality.
on the other hand, i have been using it as somewhat of a crutch, a shield against the harsh nature of reality, which on so many occasions is far too much to handle.
most nights i would just simply pass out on my bed, clunk, g'night
tonight im going to step into bed, pull the covers up and think, let my mind wander. God willing i can have the willpower to keep myself on the dry side.
back when i was in mexico, we would have AA and NA meetings that we would have to go to a few times a week. back then i had only smoked a little pot and never really got how bad a substance could destroy ones life.... i dont ever want to go down that path.
-------------------- PEACE zippoz "in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption" "People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."
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Phishe
Lysergic Bliss
Registered: 01/21/06
Posts: 2,908
Loc: Planet Earth
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
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Re: for the first night in a long long time, im not drunk [Re: ZippoZ]
#6069580 - 09/17/06 12:35 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Good for you. Many don't realize this type of thing and actually try to make a change.
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AlteredAgain
Visual Alchemist
Registered: 04/27/06
Posts: 11,181
Loc: Solar Circuit
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Re: for the first night in a long long time, im not drunk [Re: ZippoZ]
#6069598 - 09/17/06 12:39 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
The god damn alcahol is destroying my mind and my creativity, 2 of the things that i hold as my greatest strengths. its getting in the way of me and my friendships and really not helping me keep rational thought in line.
all of this drinking is just destroying me, who i want to be, destroying my ability to turn my dreams into reality.
hence its legal status.
glad to hear you're choosing to better yourself.
--------------------
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ZippoZ
Knomadic
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
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Re: for the first night in a long long time, im not drunk [Re: Phishe]
#6069600 - 09/17/06 12:39 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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i have the luxury of being highly anylitical of my self. I usually know when im doing wrong, to myself and other people. then again im pretty oblivious to several other social and personal issues, so i suppose that it goes both ways, i suppose.
Regardless i need to re-take my mind and clear the clutter from the battlefield and get back to work.
its a shame really, but im starting to make less and less sense to those around me, and to myself at times. change is not only needed its essential to survival
Go! Operation Late Thunder!
-------------------- PEACE zippoz "in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption" "People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."
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takk
Stranger
Registered: 02/22/06
Posts: 736
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Re: for the first night in a long long time, im not drunk [Re: Phishe]
#6069606 - 09/17/06 12:40 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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good on you!
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ZippoZ
Knomadic
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
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Re: for the first night in a long long time, im not drunk [Re: takk]
#6069623 - 09/17/06 12:43 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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-------------------- PEACE zippoz "in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption" "People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."
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Economist
in training
Registered: 10/11/05
Posts: 1,285
Last seen: 16 years, 7 months
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Re: for the first night in a long long time, im not drunk [Re: ZippoZ]
#6069638 - 09/17/06 12:47 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Good for you!
It's good that you recognized the impact alcohol had on your creativity too. I think that alcohol is singular in that it drags your creativity down more than any other drug out there.
Who knows where a break will take you, you'll probably even surprise yourself.
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ZippoZ
Knomadic
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
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Re: for the first night in a long long time, im not drunk [Re: Economist]
#6069663 - 09/17/06 12:52 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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about a month ago i tried to kick the habbit
after 3 days clean, i was designing the worlds tallest building/solar power station despite the fact that i didnt have a dime of the 300 million it would cost
What i need to be working on, and what i need my creativity for, is my new project. Designing a comercial scale bio-diesel production plant that uses Algae as a feed stock, and is financially viable.
-------------------- PEACE zippoz "in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption" "People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."
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deXtrous
complete tool
Registered: 04/24/06
Posts: 1,743
Loc: Australia
Last seen: 1 year, 1 day
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Re: for the first night in a long long time, im not drunk [Re: ZippoZ]
#6069841 - 09/17/06 02:52 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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That sounds awesome zippoz
Have you been sober the whole 3 weeks though?
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ZippoZ
Knomadic
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
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Re: for the first night in a long long time, im not drunk [Re: deXtrous]
#6069844 - 09/17/06 02:58 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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no i have been drunk every night for the past 3 weeks, this is the first sober one in a long time.
i also somewhat forgot how much of a fucking insomniac i am at these late hours.
i wont go to bed untill after the sun comes up and probably wont wake untill about 4pm....
-------------------- PEACE zippoz "in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption" "People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."
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ZippoZ
Knomadic
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
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Re: for the first night in a long long time, im not drunk [Re: ZippoZ]
#6069859 - 09/17/06 03:10 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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another night's time bends into the past another past blends into nothingness from nothingness comes the new day and with that new day comes so much a coin dropped into the well abound with a wish another wish to grant evermore hope more hope to make it through the day, the day passing and becoming another piece to the puzzle as it snaps into the great mosiac that is ones life, the mosiac, just a piece of the puzzle of the human race On and on the cycle goes, far beyond our wildest dreams and our dreams once again lying in the perception that bends time back into the past.
-------------------- PEACE zippoz "in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption" "People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."
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ZippoZ
Knomadic
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
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Re: for the first night in a long long time, im not drunk [Re: ZippoZ]
#6069883 - 09/17/06 03:24 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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once again the light is lit, the light dancing on the floor and playing into the shadows. what lies beyond the light is a mistery, the un-known, but the light continues to grow, and more and more is revealed.
The shadows hold many secrets, they hold all of the secrets. But how much of this darkness should be revealed, should be known? should there be a limit to what we are allowed to see, to what we should see? is there a limit beyond what we can percieve? and what happens when we push that boundary, and look at what we were not meant to see?
the light now is showing us a door, somtihng that we have never seen before, somthing new. A rusted brass handle is the only adornment save the cobwebs that have grown comfortable in their ways from years of being un-disturbed.
The light is all you have ever known, a boundary, a door a passage from everything you know stands before you now, and you dont know what to do.
The fear begins to set in, what have i uncovered, what have i found, what have I done..... dear lord what have i done. with a single flicker of light, my reality, everything that i have ever known about my little place in this world... my little ball of light .
Do i dare to turn the knob? to hear the creak and cracks of the door as it swings open onto.......... the un-known? it is so confortable, and safe in the light. The light is always, and to possibly forgo what i have always known is a delema that i thought i would never have to face.
But what else is there to know? the thoughts go off in your head like small explosions robbing you of everything that you have ever known, every thing that you Thought you knew.
But life is not for the comfortable, not for the timid or meek. We are able to feel and see so much, to understand and comprehend volumes. Inside there is a primal urdge to understand ..... life, the universe, our reality.... and to gain that understanding there is no other optoin.
The door must be opened, there is no other choice. slowly you grab the cold dusty handle. feeling it in your hand fils you with anxiety and excitment and fear, and you consider letting go...
but no, you know that you will always regret walking away, and there is no other option. Twisting the knob the latch pops unlocked, and clearing the cobwebs with one hand, you push the door open, as you knew you had to.
The lamp flickers from a gust of wind from the new room, and the shadows jump towards you, but the light survives, and for the first time you see what is through the door. And then everything you thought you knew, about life, about the universe, about our eternal souls, is blown away, stripped from you. every thing has changed, nothing will be the same again.
As you take a deep breath, you walk through the door, shurring it behind you, knowing that you will never go back to what you once believed to be true, to what you thought reality was. Today is truly a new day.
-------------------- PEACE zippoz "in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption" "People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."
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ZippoZ
Knomadic
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
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Re: for the first night in a long long time, im not drunk [Re: ZippoZ]
#6069887 - 09/17/06 03:26 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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with confidence in one hand, and hope in the other reality is easily melted away to allow the impossible
-------------------- PEACE zippoz "in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption" "People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."
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Tigger43
T-I-double Guh-errrrr
Registered: 08/15/06
Posts: 22
Loc: nowheresville, USA
Last seen: 17 years, 4 months
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Re: for the first night in a long long time, im not drunk [Re: ZippoZ]
#6070250 - 09/17/06 10:09 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Thats awsome dude, as for me Im sooo trashed, and its the morning after I got done drinking. But hey ill drink a few for ya to cure the un-avoidable hangover. Oh bTW i deffinately wrecked my truck last night.
The 12 pack and the few shots of so-co told me it would be a good idea to go off roading. The trees didnt think it was such a good idea though.
-------------------- "This town ain't big enough for the both of us"
Edited by Tigger43 (09/17/06 10:15 AM)
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ZippoZ
Knomadic
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
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Re: for the first night in a long long time, im not drunk [Re: Tigger43]
#6071034 - 09/17/06 03:16 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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damn
-------------------- PEACE zippoz "in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption" "People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."
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eris
underground
Registered: 11/17/98
Posts: 48,024
Loc: North East, USA
Last seen: 6 months, 16 days
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Re: for the first night in a long long time, im not drunk [Re: ZippoZ]
#6071070 - 09/17/06 03:32 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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I've cut down a lot also lately, which is rare for me. Hardly been drinking at all for the past month or so.
-------------------- Immortal / Temporarily Retired The OG Thread Killer My mushroom hunting gallery
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ZippoZ
Knomadic
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
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Re: for the first night in a long long time, im not drunk [Re: eris]
#6071079 - 09/17/06 03:36 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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its an oddly familiar feeling that i havent felt in a long time, odd clarity i must admit.
i havent even had any weed, i cant even remember the last time this happened.
-------------------- PEACE zippoz "in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption" "People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."
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