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Ashland
Space Cowboy
Registered: 02/03/06
Posts: 315
Loc: North America
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Just wrote something short...
#5794557 - 06/27/06 12:19 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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It's just something short I wrote for something larger I'm working on... just wrote it, am kinda' stoned, so I thought I might share it with you guys :-)
Come To Daddy "Fuck," he muttered under his breath. That is how he felt, frustrated and vulgar. The girl wanted something serious, she made that clear enough, it was just that he couldn't give her what she wanted. - Ha, wasn't that always the case. That's what it always was, giving something for somebody else. But that's just the way things are, he was sure. Everyone, the whole world in fact, wants something from you. Sucking young blood like a vampire, he thought. Before he left her porch, their conversation about life after college, art, doing what you truly love in life; all left him feeling speculative about his own future, and disappointed at what he had become. Why was getting a job and going to school so damn imporant? It all seemed as if he was working towards some hidden, invisible goal that may-or-may-not be success. He wasn't ready to spend his life as what, in his mind, was a prisoner of the blood-sucking world around him. "Fuck," he said again, this time louder. He wasn't going to end up a loser. That was for damn sure. But what, then, is the difference between a loser and a genius? He struggled with that thought for a moment, thinking very hard about what would forbid failure. "A genius knows he is not a loser," he said quietly, muffling the epiphone with a hushed voice.
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David_vs_Goliath
Informer
Registered: 04/01/06
Posts: 208
Loc: Chicago
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
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Re: Just wrote something short... [Re: Ashland]
#5797736 - 06/27/06 11:20 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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i like it. You should consider writing something longer. I like your style alot and had some interesting stuff in there.
-------------------- "People living deeply have no fear of death." "Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love." "Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings."
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Syle
Kenai Sigh
Registered: 10/16/05
Posts: 6,678
Loc: WA
Last seen: 1 year, 21 days
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cool ashland
how much of that storyline pertains to your own life...? (i always like when authors underline their novels/stories with undertones from their own lives)
-------------------- https://kenaisigh.bandcamp.com/ <- Just completed the 2021 RPM challenge for February - An EP in one month (5 songs or 20 minutes). Check it out!
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Ashland
Space Cowboy
Registered: 02/03/06
Posts: 315
Loc: North America
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: Just wrote something short... [Re: Syle]
#5798210 - 06/28/06 02:01 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Well, it's part of something a lot larger I'm working on, so there will be more :-)
Actually, a lot of the stuff I write about comes from experiences in my own life - although to make things flow (and for the sake of not writing an autobiography), I usually just use my anecdotal experience to base a story or a situation off of. For instance, when I wrote the excerpt I posted, I was probably feeling a lot like the character I'm describing. In fact, I think it was right after I graduated high school, heh.
Thanks for reading it, and I'm glad you guys liked it... I think I'll probably post something longer (and more exciting, I promise ) later this week.
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mr_kite
The Watcher
Registered: 09/16/02
Posts: 2,577
Loc: shambhala
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
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Re: Just wrote something short... [Re: Ashland]
#5799728 - 06/28/06 03:12 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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I got disappointed when the dialogue progressed beyond the word "Fuck". Write an entire story where the only word said by any character is "Fuck" and you're onto a winner. Maybe call the story "Fuck"? Seriously though I like your style. Post more when you're done.
-------------------- let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love
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Ashland
Space Cowboy
Registered: 02/03/06
Posts: 315
Loc: North America
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Re: Just wrote something short... [Re: mr_kite]
#5803858 - 06/29/06 04:16 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Heh, yeah, I dunno'... I like to write dialogue like a person would actually be saying it in real life. A lot of times I read character dialogue and think to myself about how no one would actually say that in that situation.
I'll post more after this weekend.. and uh, I plan to write something while tripping on Saturday, so I'll post that too :-)
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