Home | Community | Message Board

Sporeworks
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1
Offlineembodiment
Stranger
Registered: 06/12/06
Posts: 4
Last seen: 16 years, 9 months
fucked up situation / request advice
    #5742850 - 06/12/06 06:07 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

first some background:
I am 21 years old, married with twins. I am from a country half way around the world. I got into this situation by coming to the USA for a holiday, went back home and got the good news that she was pregnant. Soo i ended up flying away from home at 17 to live the married life.

The catch with that is we had to move in with her parents, who also decided it would be a good idea to invite her sister and her boyfriend to live there aswell. Trying to raise a family in a crowded house is the worst thing ever.

Things were fine for the first year or so but slowly the reality that I just did not love this woman sunk in. We ended up just becoming 'friends' but stayed married for conveniance i suppose (and immigration issues).

Anyway now we are finally breaking up, my mother/family want me to go back (home) for good (they justify it due to me not knowing anyone here and having no family here). obviously i cant do that because i have kids here.

Which brings me to the hard part, I do not really have any super close friends here, definately noone i can talk to with about this- the only thing i have here now are my kids and that makes things tough...i find it hard to talk to anyone i dont know and then when i do become 'friends' i am too disinterested to really go out and do anything, its like i have become so jaded with life that i have no motivation/ambition at all, really.

Lastly I dont know if i will be able to find someone else, not for 5+ years anyway...noone is going to want to date someone with 2 kids, not unless they themselves have kids and/or are completely retarded. it makes things so overwelmingly hard just knowing I'll be alone for god knows how long. This is my biggest fear ATM.

Then theres the whole deal with my job, where i only make $10 an hour and hate it. I have no idea how I will be able to affored an apartment, car/insurance etc and pay for child support. I just dont know.

This is a long post and i missed out some stuff but i dont know, i really dont know what i want for a reply but i really have noone else to talk to so anything will help (yes i am a long time poster who signed up under a new username)

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleZippoZM
Knomadic
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
Re: fucked up situation / request advice [Re: embodiment]
    #5742933 - 06/12/06 06:26 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

well, thats a tough one. so basically, you came to the states for a vacation and knocked a girl up. then decided to get married, and had anotheur child.

Well i have to say, that what happens in a childs life sets the frame for who they are for the rest of their lives. As much as im sure that you dont want to hear it, you have a responsibility to make sure that your children are raised in a good enviornment. weather this can be done by your wife alone, or only with you, is not somthinig i can tell you.

As for the work live situation im sure that you can work somthing out, if i knew more about where you lived, and what your situation was i would offer some more ideas.

As for finding another woman to love, im sure that you can. Im sure that it feels like there can never be anyone more, but youre at the end of a reelationsihp and should realise that your feelings are alot more intense right now, than they will be in a week or so. time does help heal wounds.

:smile:


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineembodiment
Stranger
Registered: 06/12/06
Posts: 4
Last seen: 16 years, 9 months
Re: fucked up situation / request advice [Re: ZippoZ]
    #5742958 - 06/12/06 06:32 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

nah i only have 2 kids (theyre twins) 3 and a half years old

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleMike_yy
Male User Gallery

Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 7,253
Re: fucked up situation / request advice [Re: embodiment]
    #5743187 - 06/12/06 07:18 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

I guess you should probably stay there, if you want to be in your kids lifes.
I think its important that you are about for you and for them.

If you do stay your going to have to sort yourself out. You'll have to find somewhere to live, maybe get a better job if you don't like the one you have.
And find a way to make some friends, there has to be some people around your area that you'd get on with.

As for finding someone. I think if you improve your quality of life stress wise, and by finding some security then you will be alot happier generally.

You've already been married once so im gonna guess and say that if your in a good mood, and your talking to a girl there's a chance she might like you.

I wouldn't worry about it too much, you need to sort your life out first then see what happens love wise.
Something usually comes along when you least expect it.

:thumbup:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineGrok
Has Been a Bad Boy
 User Gallery

Registered: 12/03/03
Posts: 1,262
Loc: Greener Pastures
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
Re: fucked up situation / request advice [Re: Mike_yy]
    #5744024 - 06/12/06 10:10 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Wow that must be tough. Like was said, and I'm sure you realize, your kids are you're biggest responsibility now. I think the last thing you should be worried about right now is not being able to find someone ever again. That's just how it feels when you get out of a relationship, and it will pass. Focus on getting a better job and raising your kids, and trying to do things that make you happy. Don't depend on women to make you happy - its a dead-end road to disappointment trust me. Find happiness within yourself. Work hard and love your kids. You can get through this. I wish you the best.


--------------------
Entropy is increasing.
To send me a PM, go to my journal

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineembodiment
Stranger
Registered: 06/12/06
Posts: 4
Last seen: 16 years, 9 months
Re: fucked up situation / request advice [Re: embodiment]
    #5747437 - 06/13/06 09:27 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

thanks for the replys

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: fucked up situation / request advice [Re: embodiment]
    #5747470 - 06/13/06 09:35 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Wow...that's a hell of a first post.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineembodiment
Stranger
Registered: 06/12/06
Posts: 4
Last seen: 16 years, 9 months
Re: fucked up situation / request advice [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5750603 - 06/14/06 06:48 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

haha ya not my first post :wink:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleSuperD
Cacti junky
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/05/03
Posts: 6,648
Loc: The bridgesii bridge
Re: fucked up situation / request advice [Re: embodiment]
    #5755612 - 06/15/06 10:47 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

I know what you're going through. My situation is similar but I only have one child. I'm still married however, but my wife and I are of totally opposite backgrounds and have absolutely nothing in common or share similar interests. I'm staying together so that my daughter can be raised in an environment where her father is around. My dad wasn't around for me when I was younger so I cannot allow this to happen to my own child. I wish you the best, you'll be ok. And by the way, a lot of girls find single dads very attractive when you're out in public with your kid(s).


--------------------
:super:D
Manoa said:
I need to stop spending all my money on plants and take up a cheaper hobby, like heroin. :lol:

Looking for Rauhocereus riosaniensis seeds or live specimen(s), :pm: me if you have any for trade

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineAndy21
Armchairanarchist

Registered: 01/01/06
Posts: 288
Last seen: 13 years, 1 month
Re: fucked up situation / request advice [Re: embodiment]
    #5758097 - 06/16/06 05:08 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Wow tough one, what country are you from?

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1

Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* I Fucking Hate my Living Situation Earth_Droid 3,710 18 05/10/03 10:35 PM
by si1988crx
* A little advice on my roommate situation, please! RebelSteve33 2,156 10 06/26/03 02:32 PM
by sir tripsalot
* my view = fucked up sometimes *DELETED* encryptor 827 5 12/17/03 01:28 PM
by encryptor
* How do I get out of this situation? Ekstaza 1,493 11 12/17/03 02:27 AM
by timetravel
* Difficult situation (Medication Question) Northernsoul 3,172 5 02/20/03 04:08 AM
by Anonymous
* Observable Fuck-up.
( 1 2 all )
PDU 4,748 23 03/24/17 07:44 AM
by Thisisthehardest
* advice? will be tripping vampirism 2,335 11 07/28/03 12:44 PM
by djd586
* i need some advice about this girl phishytrip 1,362 9 06/21/03 02:54 PM
by phishytrip

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: CherryBom, Rose, mndfreeze, yogabunny, feevers, CookieCrumbs, Northerner
1,447 topic views. 0 members, 3 guests and 1 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.03 seconds spending 0.007 seconds on 15 queries.