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OfflineMuppet69_420
Speed feeder
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Registered: 03/23/05
Posts: 2,592
Last seen: 14 years, 7 months
2-3y Friend's Life Issues (not I, my friend)
    #5706733 - 06/03/06 05:42 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

He's young (late teen years) and has been struggling with a lot of drastic mental and physical problems that he has tried but failed to overcome.

I rly felt bad for the kids everyday life because of his terrible experiences, but couldn't help him at all!

What he told me in as short of a story as possible (wont be short though!) is he has been idol within his guardians house for more than 6 years because of the many fights his guardians had with each other his Finlay home is one which is not his own but his widow grandmothers with his father living with his mother for aid. He also pointed out that prior to the final divorce of his parents and his idol behavior his guardians had always been fighting physically in front of the Kid and his sibling sister since he can remember. He was also introduced to sexual acts/behaviors at a very young age. Stating that he did some very taboo things with his mothers side of the family. He has been to every corner of the city he was born into frequently always switching to different homes or apartments while at the same time a family feud with his father, mother, grandparents, and other relatives tore his sister and mother away from his childhood and Kid made clear to us that his parents had divorced and remarried over 4x each being as horrible as the next.

His mother purposely overdosed on some "long drugs" medications and was seen by himself and his sister after they had walked home because they were not picked up from school on time, which he furiously said was about 1-2hr off. His mother openly allowed older guys during marriage over to the house and into her room making a lot of loud noise and left himself and his sister alone at a young age in poor neighborhoods while the mother went out and got boozed up and hurt. His father did dope to keep awake during work at post office and always complained about pain, which he slept off most of the time leaving hardly any time for family bonding. The kid said there is a lot more disastrous moments in his past life and current life that leaves him always depressed and undeveloped during the days/nights. He hasn't much to talk about or for, since he's always at his guardians house sitting around doing small hobbies that give him some fun and feelings of being happy, but no physical exercise not even any socializing experience for peer2peer relations, but the kid sadly stated that those "hobbies" mentioned a bit ways back are all (2 hobbies video-games and c++ programming) about as old as he himself is.

He started the hobbies as a young child, which became both addictive habits. The Kid notified me that he desires the fun moments he had as a child, but doesn't wanna be a child rather somebody whose mornings are greeted with passive or happy moods that give him enthusiasm throughout most of the day if not a sense of determination to accomplish new things that he never wished to (daring), but cannot use for he thinks everything he conversates about is only interesting too him and that he will never successfully socialize without some guilt/regret.

He said he never was motivated for anything besides his one or two hobbies. Love is a feeling he cannot relate too. He has never personally tried to get into a relationship rather he was helped by close-friends or sibling. He has experienced multiple deaths in his family and haystacks of medical issues and emergencies with most of his family. He told me he deeply feels for his surrounding relatives especially his father as was his statement. He is sad that his father has to see him so immobile, unmotivated, not happy, or just overall depressed because he once had adventure and thrills socializing or just attempting to make friends, which he has done and only his sister has introduced us. His sister isn't in good standing with him or most people he knows because she owes a lot of money another awful thing is she stole a lot of things, which she secretly kept to herself until she hit rock bottom with dope and accidental blurted that she took drugs and money behind his back and made it sound like no big deal. She owes him over $300, which was loaned and stolen over a years time. Now he worries and loathes his sister's unpredictable situation. His father has kidney stones, back problems, neck disks were replaced causing a hard life for his father, and now his father has heart problems and always had diabetes.

His grandmother had to go in surgery or lose her one bad leg causing more troubles after her husbands death and bestowed even more depression amongst everyone that was close to him. He does speed, op, xtc, alcohol, and mj (its basically how we met). From what I noticed in his personality is he isn't outgoing or capable of coping with most situations, which leaves him speechless or nervous. The Kid might have a slim chance of entering surgery to heal his acid reflex, so he told me. Its only days when drugs are involved does he assert himself into public or into a social group, which he specifically pointed out to as being very shameful in his perceptive, and he cannot manipulate speech very well to express how he truly feels without feeling awfully stupid as he put it. So most people get the wrong idea or first impression of him, which disturbs his already unstable desire to be noticed amongst new individuals as friends. Because of that impairment his list of friends is small and hardly grows at all.

It seems that he is strongly opposing the act of friendship yet with a bleeding-heart Kid only wants friends but wants a chance to have a fun moment of conversation that lasts for hours without any awful thoughts.

There's much more but its too long and just basically a description of whats so wrong about his life and its been unfix-able for years, which is thought to be true because he claimed to have tried being assertive or a "someone" as he called it since he never truly speaks so no one truly knows who he honestly is except for a moderately numbered group of friends. I suggested a therapist or professional help, which is no help to the Kid since he already thought of that. He says that admitting his depression openly is somehow shameful to him and he doesn't express it to anyone in the family or just any friend. Some of his close friends who also heard him out claimed it could all be in his head and that he wasn't truly depressed but confused. I thought that to be quit outrageous to believe since this Kid sounds very very depressed and shut out. Any suggestions or knowledge of any good methods to allow the Kid to openly express these feelings with family?


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Quote:

I live to learn and learn to live.

forget w/e was here b4 it was meth gibberish.... :meff: :rail2: :rail: ....thats as old as my account...

On that note fart in public and grin. :publicfart:

Hail Shroomery!



Edited by Muppet69_420 (06/05/06 11:49 PM)

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OfflineThe_Hobbit
Bilbo Baggins
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Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 1,382
Loc: The Shire
Last seen: 17 years, 11 days
Re: 2-3y Friend's Life Issues (not I, my friend) [Re: Muppet69_420]
    #5706824 - 06/03/06 07:58 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Basically, he doesn't have the best family life and he's had a rough past. Ok. That is something to take note of considering that it's a causal factor for his depression. The other factors seem to be that he has some anxiety issues caused by a negative self-image and that he basically has an unexciting, unfullfilling life based on his lack of every day activities.

Like you said, he isn't doing much physical stuff. That is problem #1. You need to live a healthy lifestyle. If I were you, I would start working out with him. It's obvious that you care about him, so set him straight as far as that's concerned. Make him understand that you cannot be a wimp. Get out there and do some real stuff like running, sprinting, bounding, swimming, biking, hiking, working out in general, and meditation. You can do these things every day after waking up in the morning. That's a lifestyle decision, which will completely change things around for the better.

Secondly, he needs to make something up in his week to week life. Go do stuff. Adventurous, exciting stuff is always good. That's another area where you could help him.

Thirdly, he needs to come to see things from a philosophical point of view. Being active and doing fun stuff will give him lots of inspiration, but it basically comes down to a decision that you make. You need to be strong for yourself. He is the one pitying himself and being depressed rather than doing something about it. Basically, just keep your head up and shove off, set sail, and get going. Don't stop. Never quit until you die. That's the only way you can see things. Nobody is perfect, but there is no reason not to try your best. This is the area where you are most important because a friend gives you hope. Just be there for him and stay realistic and positive when it comes to his issues.


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Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.

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OfflineDreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Female

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 16 years, 2 months
Re: 2-3y Friend's Life Issues (not I, my friend) [Re: Muppet69_420]
    #5711889 - 06/04/06 04:57 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

nobody is gonna read that. Use some paragraphs.


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: 2-3y Friend's Life Issues (not I, my friend) [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5712730 - 06/04/06 08:57 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

plenty of people are going to read it.

I really don't know of any advice I can give at all. It's good that he tells you that stuff. How old is he? Will he be able to get out on his own soon? Does he want to get out on his own?


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I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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OfflineMuppet69_420
Speed feeder
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Registered: 03/23/05
Posts: 2,592
Last seen: 14 years, 7 months
Re: 2-3y Friend's Life Issues (not I, my friend) [Re: leery11]
    #5717450 - 06/05/06 11:48 PM (17 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

leery11 said:
plenty of people are going to read it.

I really don't know of any advice I can give at all. It's good that he tells you that stuff. How old is he? Will he be able to get out on his own soon? Does he want to get out on his own?




Age: 17, and I wouldn't say he "wants" to get out on his own because of his depression.


--------------------
Quote:

I live to learn and learn to live.

forget w/e was here b4 it was meth gibberish.... :meff: :rail2: :rail: ....thats as old as my account...

On that note fart in public and grin. :publicfart:

Hail Shroomery!



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OfflineDavid_vs_Goliath
Informer
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Registered: 04/01/06
Posts: 208
Loc: Chicago
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
Re: 2-3y Friend's Life Issues (not I, my friend) [Re: Muppet69_420]
    #5717537 - 06/06/06 12:19 AM (17 years, 9 months ago)

I would also try to work out with him. After a long time of not working out, I started again recently and have felt alot more awake, have more energy, and am generally happier. Even if it is just going for a run outside for a half hour or so. You don't even have to talk while you guys run just be there and run with him as equals. Just a suggestion but I think it's a good idea.


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"People living deeply have no fear of death."
"Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love."
"Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings."

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