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 Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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 Self-Importance 
#5649916 - 05/19/06 12:02 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I've been confronted lately with my extreme amounts of self-importance.
I've had a bad case of it for much of my life and now that I have really looked deeply at the matter, I can see that almost all of my unhappiness has been a result of this one issue.
To me unhealthy/unskillful self importance is not totally disregarding yourself and your needs. Trying that just leads to more problems with negative self-importance IMO. Self respect and self love and unconditional self acceptance are all healthy aspects of a balanced personality structure.
Unhealthy self-importance IMO comes from demanding that the world conform to my comfort zone. Learning about all of this is has been seriously ongoing for about 3 to 4 years now. Taking on a family that I swore I never wanted has pushed all my buttons around self-importance. I was really stuck in a no growth comfort zone and I really resented having to expand myself. I found myself having tantrums much like a 5 year old.
Anyway I'm working on this an have recently made some progress. I have noticed that surrendering to what is (against my preferences) has allowed my body to relax and be happier these days. Now I am noticing some of the wonderful things this family is bringing to my life.
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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.
" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.
With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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 DoctorJ
Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: Self-Importance [Re: Icelander]
#5649922 - 05/19/06 12:04 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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wise words teacher
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Silversoul
Rhizome
Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Re: Self-Importance [Re: Icelander]
#5649923 - 05/19/06 12:04 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Thinking either too high or too low of yourself is always a stumbling block towards self-improvement. I've had problems with both at one time or another. The real trick is not focus on yourself at all.
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DoctorJ
Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: Self-Importance [Re: Silversoul]
#5649927 - 05/19/06 12:05 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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even wiser words!
you guys are smart! I'm impressed!
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fresh313
journeyman
Registered: 09/01/03
Posts: 2,537
Last seen: 13 years, 2 days
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Re: Self-Importance [Re: Icelander]
#5649930 - 05/19/06 12:06 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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5-10 year olds can teach u alot
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DoctorJ
Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: Self-Importance [Re: fresh313]
#5649934 - 05/19/06 12:07 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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yeah, but if you want to know everything, you have to ask an 11 year old
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fresh313
journeyman
Registered: 09/01/03
Posts: 2,537
Last seen: 13 years, 2 days
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Re: Self-Importance [Re: DoctorJ]
#5649948 - 05/19/06 12:12 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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i dont want to know everything, thats why i like 5-10 year olds, because they arent corrupted by knowledge of the world as it stands, or even by those crazy hormones.
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fresh313
journeyman
Registered: 09/01/03
Posts: 2,537
Last seen: 13 years, 2 days
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Re: Self-Importance [Re: fresh313]
#5649959 - 05/19/06 12:14 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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damn my rating just keeps going down, come on, anyone else, get that shit to zero already.
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dblaney
Human Being
Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
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Re: Self-Importance [Re: Icelander]
#5650026 - 05/19/06 12:30 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Realizing transience is a wonderful help to reducing self-importance.
NOTHING LASTS (including everything you've ever known and experienced)
...but nothing is lost
(kudos to Shpongle)
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"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"
"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer
Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.
"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln
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BlueCoyote
Beyond
Registered: 05/07/04
Posts: 6,697
Loc: Between
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Self-Importance [Re: Icelander]
#5650275 - 05/19/06 01:36 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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The real important thing is self-esteem, like self-worth, what fake leaders like to get you rid of.. own leadership needs more self esteem, less ego or self importance.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Self-Importance [Re: fresh313]
#5650284 - 05/19/06 01:38 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
fresh313 said:
5-10 year olds can teach u alot
In my case it's a 5 and 13 year old. And boys to boot.
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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.
" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.
With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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DoctorJ
Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: Self-Importance [Re: BlueCoyote]
#5650293 - 05/19/06 01:40 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
BlueCoyote said:
The real important thing is self-esteem, like self-worth, what fake leaders like to get you rid of.. own leadership needs more self esteem, less ego or self importance.
self esteem is a delicate balance. go too far in one direction, you screw yourself. go to far in another direction, you screw others
man, I really do crack myself up 
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MushmanTheManic
Stranger
Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 4,587
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Re: Self-Importance [Re: Icelander]
#5654848 - 05/20/06 10:45 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Myself is important to myself: Sayeth thee keniving Mushman.
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justamonkey
Stranger
Registered: 10/26/05
Posts: 292
Loc: Upstairs
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Its kind of like rights. When you have the right to (yadda yadda yadda) and then you impose a double standard for everyone else, that's self importance. The really bitch thing, is that your standards arent standards at all, they're you, and no one else has to give a damn what you think. The trouble is, if you want to really get a grip on it, you gotta deal with the fact that they won't necessarily understand, and will try to hold you to thier own self-important ways. Like being the only person in the world to believe that gravity is reversed. Your not really the only one, but other people are going to ignore your reality, and substitute their own, despite your incessant bitching.
Maybe its kind of like a bubble, try your damnedest to elasticize without popping your bubble, or touching anyone Else's. Maybe this is too metaphorical, but I can't think of better words right now.
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[quote]We don't need anyone to teach us sorcery, because there is really nothing to learn. What we need is a teacher to convince us that there is incalculable power at our fingertips. What a strange paradox! Every warrior on the path of knowledge thinks, at one time or another, that he's learning sorcery, but all he's doing is allowing himself to be convinced of the power hidden in his being, and that he can reach it. [/quote]-Carlos Casteneda
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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Re: Self-Importance [Re: Icelander]
#5654866 - 05/20/06 10:56 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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It is easy to maintain the illusion of losing self importance when all you have to think about is yourself, but when you live in close proximity to others that have needs you find that your old self oriented mode of thinking is no longer functional. In raising a familly over the years I have had to learn about putting others first to ensure that my familly stays healthy. It is easy to be spiritual in isolation or an environment like a monestary, but the proof of ones spiritual growth is in learning to deal with others directly.
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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,169
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i divorce myself from my self daily, otherwise i'd always be in court.
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 _  🧠 _ 
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SneezingPenis
ACHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!111!
Registered: 01/15/05
Posts: 15,427
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
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I think the realization that you don't matter at all, that you aren't important, that you will have no universal impact whatsoever in the huge scope of time and existence, and that all worth and value you and everyone holds dear is one of the first steps towards personal growth and spirituality.
Anyone who has read any of my posts can see that I constantly harp on how self-absorption, personal image projection, and morality are retarding forces in the spiritual evolution and coherence of humanity. Im not talking about dissolving the self or ego, but becoming more and more aware of external conditioning which slowly incorporates itself into your reality.
example: the other day, my roommate started bitching at me for not washing towels...... I explained to him that I hang my towels up after they are used, then they dry, and I can use them again. So he firmly stated that I need to start washing my towels, and I had to tell him that he needs not enforce his own socially conditioned neurosis upon my being. He is somewhat obsessive compulsive and I often have to halt him on his attempts to make his idiosyncratic routines part of my life.
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lIllIIIllIlIIlIlIIllIllIIl
Stranger
Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 11,123
Loc: Texas
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Re: Self-Importance [Re: Icelander]
#5655343 - 05/21/06 03:09 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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No growth comfort zones are sweet man. But you're probably right that actually achieving something (expanding yourself) feels better... in hindsight. 
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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So true. Being a bachelor for so long has been great. But time, finally, to move on. Adventure awaits.  
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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.
" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.
With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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