I just wrote about my some of my weekend and put it on my myspace. I kind of did all sorts of crazy stuff. Some people sent me messages say they really liked it. Since some of you seem to like the things I write, I've put this here for you guys. ___________________________________________________________________ I want to write something but I don't know where this will go.
I had a interesting weekend in all worlds. I was kidnapped, drunk, and high. I almost got into fight twice. I did meth on accident. I was on uppers, downers, all arounders, and just plain mind fucks. I saw everyone I knew, I met everyone I didn't. I saw the most beautiful lights and heard the most beautiful music. I had intense visions of fear and I met death. I've been awake for four days, and I'm still rather coherent. I feel like the bastard child of mankind. I wonder if I exist.
It started 100 miles away with decadent and the desiccated future. I could smell them before I even saw them. There was a strong sexual vibe in the air as fifteen males chased five females around the area. I sat drinking and smoking watching the parade. Words came out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying. "I'm a trans-sexual homo-sexual from Saint Augustine that's forty two years old." Looks of confusion, I've been in your mind all this time. Sly smiles out of the corner of your eye. Angry men clutching to their concept of reality challenged my very existence. Cold stares, empty spirits, and out of control cocks were my companions. I ran into the night screaming... panicked... and drunk...
"It's because this is Rattling the laughter Hinges splintering inside "
110 miles an hour... completely drunk... with non-working windshield wipers. I didn't want to waste my time on this fucking freeway in this empty wasteland. Get me home man, get me home. Pedal all the way and sucking on a burnt out cigarette wide eyed with white knuckles as the car bounced in and out of the lane. Then the call...
An hour and a half later the first line had hit me. Calm and numb, alcohol and cocaine. Manic talking about empty vessels and over-sexed hicks. What to do? What to do? Our only answer, our method was more lines. De-sensitized and raving in a warm living room while trying to rhyme. They fucking kidnapped me, and took me to a line.
I felt a gun to the back of my head as I entered the barn. Lights everywhere, lasers, hard beats. Kids, women, children, boys, girls, men, fairies, angels, devils... dancing everywhere around me. I felt the beat and I bathed in the light. I glowed in my high as the world moved by. Strongly over-sensitized and highly disconnect, I moved my head to the rhythms as I slide around the floors. Random girls touching me, random guys looking through me. I don't know man... I'm not on the right high for this place.
Sitting in the back of a car in the middle of a parking lot, I moved on down another line. Calm on the inside with frantic manic panic creeping on the outside. Just breath... just breath...
Back in the living room, warm... safe... awake... The high was wearing off in an extremely unpleasant way. Only one thing left to do. Buy the ticket, ride the ride, chop up the yellow pill and cut it into a line. A line bigger than my body confronted me and said rude things about my momma... only one thing to do...
SCREAMING! PAIN! ROCKETING UNCONTROLLABLY INTO THE FUCKING STATOSPHERE! I DON'T THINK THIS IS ECSTASY! I THINK THIS IS HELL! INAUDIBLE SCREAMING! CAN'T THINK! I'M SO HIGH! I THINK I DIED!
It was like hitting a thousand lines at once. The mind, the spirit, and the body all screamed together in overwhelming perfect harmony in protest of what it was just polluted with. Trying to run, trying to fight. Put a dent in the wall and then collapsed trying to come to terms with this new high. I wanted to scream and opened my mouth but nothing came out.
FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!
Moments later... nothing... I felt nothing... I didn't know where I was... I didn't know who I was... just nothing.
I ran around the house. I moved before I thought about it. Unable to coherently think or communicate my mind, body, and spirit went into some sort of animalistic basic survival skill set that remained within my human consciousness as merely a left over of something my ancestors needed to get by. My eyes exploded, my heart was playing the drums, my body shook like a bed at a cheap whorehouse. Just another causality. Just another zombie.
I felt everything. I felt nothing. The mind raced in a incoherent language I didn't understand. The mind was at a complete stand still like it had never moved before. I was locked in a cage and didn't have the will or desire to get out. This prison is where I shall reside for the rest of my days.
Sitting in a chair unable to move, incoherent mumbling. Eyes racing around the room looking at nothing. Painful to move, painful to think. Time raced as each heartbeat was dearly appreciated unknowing if the next one would be behind.
Sunrise... more displaced casualties arrived. Truly this place had turned into a Misfit Commune in the last six hours. Drugs kicking in and wearing off. New undiscovered waves and redundant familiar ones. Where the fuck am I going? What the fuck am I doing here?
Hugs goodbye and knowing glances at one another. No idea what we had just experienced or why, but we know we did something... something extreme and we know we came through it together.
Driving home trying to pick up the pieces. What just happened in the last seventy-two hours? What was the point?
No complaints.
No apologies.
-------------------- Hi My god... it's full of stars...
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