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OfflineStrandedVoyager
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Freaknight (My first rave)
    #4876393 - 10/31/05 06:24 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

I?m writing this in a bit of a different style, so this may be a bit of a departure for me. I know a lot of you who read my stories expect drugs, violence, and insanity. This is a story about drugs, peace, and insanity. Even as I write this the music and the images still play in my mind and my dreams. I?m finishing writing this now on Monday, Freaknight was Saturday. In that time I?ve written over sixty pages trying to convey this scene and these vibes, I?ve come up with four different versions of the story written in various states of chemical inducement. Since there?s a time factor here, I?ve put together this story from those versions and did the best I could with it. For the first time in one of my stories I was way more of a participant than a observer. There was something about this evening that just forced me into it more than just watching it. I don?t know what I have here, I just want to convey what happened and what I felt during the night.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

The car raced at excessive speeds darting in and out of traffic missing other cars by mere inches. At the wheel was The Diva crazed with anticipation and adrenaline on her way to her first rave. Next to her was The Quiet Man calm and quiet who seemed to be trying to center himself and conserve his energy for what he knew was about to happen. And in the backseat I was sitting nervous and chain smoking reflecting on how I got here.

I had forty eight hours of notice about this rave. My appearance here can be considered a mild kidnapping in the truest sense. A light guilt trip and a strong tap into my male ego made me push over my forty five dollars for the ticket to ride the ride. As soon as I spent the money I was covered with light waves of panic as I feared what I had gotten myself into.

I knew little to nothing about raves. The substance of my knowledge about raves and the raver life was limited to the little I heard people talk about and the stories in the news. From all I heard I envisioned a community of obsessive counterstrike players who listened to electronic music and dropped a lot of E. I was expecting to see throngs of closed off people who were playing Dance Dance Revolution without the machine. I braced myself in the backseat as I took a drag off my cigarette. I figured at best I could glide behind these people and observe them and their behavior to try to understand them, at worst I?d be made to stand in a corner with my nose to the wall for not being able to click with the scene. I tried my best not to think about this rave. If I had any expectations on what would happen I would surely be wrong since I didn?t know the nature of this beast. I didn?t want to build myself up or let myself down. Both mental modes can take one off center and ruin a potentially amazing night. However when flying at insane speeds through a jungle of cars, one can?t help but to try to think about anything other than the speed of the car and the coordination of the driver. Getting lost in my thoughts, I was stirred from a fantasy about being elected king of the rave as we pulled into the parking lot.

As we got out the car the three of us seemed to lock eyes with each other for a moment trying to psyche each other up. We then went about the business of preparing ourselves for what we were about to endure. There was a strong unknown current in the air pushing anticipation and nervousness on us. We opened packages of neon lights and began to dress ourselves with them. I couldn?t help feeling as if we were going into war with the silent business like manner we were conducting ourselves in as we armed ourselves with these lights. In the distance we saw women in short skirts and pink hair and men in dresses with makeup looking at us while we looked back. After about ten minutes of readying ourselves both physically and mentally we were ready for what lay beyond. I took one final look at the three of us and decided we looked like we were out of a bad My Chemical Romance video.

As we walked towards the entrance, I lit up a cigar. Now within sight of the prize I let my imagination run wild. Imagination repression is a lot like sexual repression, the longer you hold out the better it is. Wild images of angels and devils in sexy lingerie, earth shaking beats, and beautiful bright lights played in my mind. As we got closer and closer to our destination I could only sum up my thoughts and my energy into a loud yell that went something like ?This here is Freaknight motherfuckers! There is no rule! There is no law! This here is the end of days!? Shouting such a phrase in a public place would usually get you anything from a nasty glance to full fledged panic from anyone who happened to be in earshot. However, it seemed as if the only reaction was one of appreciative energy or a sense of understanding from those looking on.

As we turned the corner and saw the entrance we saw about two hundred people already in line. I had the belief in my mind that at any moment unchecked insanity would ensue. We found a nice spot on the sidewalk in the line. I began to bounce on my feet as I puffed on my cigar knowing at any minute they would let us loose on a different realm within. Any minute now slowly turned into a half hour. Thirty minutes mind-numbingly turned into an hour. Time ceased to exist as the line grew longer. After standing there for nearly an hour and a half I had come to the conclusion that this was some insane and extreme stress and endurance test to find the breaking point of ravers. Of what significant information this could yield to the science of psychology or military intelligence, I cannot fathom. After two hours of standing in line with a loud random scream from the crowd every fifteen minutes and intense sarcastic remarks, I was near my breaking point and convinced there was a conspiracy afoot. After two and a half hours there was a vibe of panic in the air and a lot of movement from the qwest facility employees. The crowd had grown to the point that it was difficult to survey the surroundings because the crowd was elbow to elbow and front to back. Everywhere you looked you could only see a sea of bodies and faces with waves in the crowd created by people?s movement. Suddenly an area of bodies dramatically moved away from one spot as if a bomb had gone off. I was confused watching this since I didn?t hear anything and I saw no smoke. Through the screen of people I could see two figures on their knees and on their back. I thought perhaps a fight had broken out or some other act of violence had befallen the man on his back. My anxiety was beginning to climb when it had already been climbing. I have been to several parties of all kind. Parties with several people who don?t know each other generally spawn fists, knives, and guns. I took a look around and I felt fear. All different people of different class, age, race surrounded me. I had flashback to watching a kid get popped at a party and I felt fear. I mumbled to myself ?I wonder if I?ll get out of here alive??

The crowd in the line were beginning to get upset. Imitations of cows mooing and accusations that the man who needed medical attention would have been fine if they had opened the doors on time began to ring out. The next few minutes were a blur. I remember an ambulance coming for the fallen man. I remember several cheers that grew to the point of the entire crowd going off for seemingly no reason. I was feeling more and more anxious as the vibe seemed to be building to blow.

And then it happened. One man in a black robe suddenly passed through the gate. Slowly another one followed. It happened in such a way that I wasn?t sure if the doors had opened or not. I said to The Diva ?I think they?re letting people in single file.? To which she replied very intensely ?Well? I guess we better get to the front.? We both looked around and realized no one seemed to realize what was transpiring. The Diva took the point leading us to the front of the line. This small five foot one tower of power began her quest to get in. Behind her she led The Quiet Man by the hand as I followed behind. It took about five or ten minutes but our rush paid it?s dividends as we significantly improved out place in line. As the gates opened people started talking up and down the line about open packs of cigarettes being contraband. I?m an intense chain smoker and in the confusion I had opened one of two unopened packs because I misunderstood what was being said. Quickly, I had to try to compose myself and stash my cigarettes. I gave The Diva a pack of cigarettes and a cigar case I was carrying to stash as I felt around in my pockets. In one pocket I had an open pack of Pall Malls and a open box of Phillies Blunts. And as I put my hand in my other pocket, my heart sank. I felt fear as I realized my hand was touching a bag of Vitamin C pills that The Diva had given me to hold on to. Now these pills were completely legal and do your body good. However, they were unmarked pills in a plastic baggie being carried by a guy entering a giant rave. I was assuming they weren?t going to see the brilliant hilarity of the situation. I was also assuming that I wouldn?t be able to convince the security guard to try one before he invited a member of the Seattle Police Department over to have a little talk with me. I figured at best I would be delayed for a hour or two until this all got sorted out. At worst, I would be spending a evening in the King County lockup until this all got figured out.

The choice was obvious, I had to sneak them in. The bag was so big and cumbersome I knew if they searched me, they?d nail it. I mentally prepared myself to deal with the authorities as I inched closer and closer to them. I recited over and over in my mind ?They?re vitamin C pills sir and if you don?t believe me pop one. Just remember to duck when you see the bats.?

There was one man ahead of me in line and I could see that security wasn?t fucking around. I paused when it was my turn to get searched and let the guy next to me go ahead. Someone behind me said ?What a gentleman? but I was just interested in seeing how the search would happen. I saw that the security guard had a good chance of missing the pills in my pocket given how deep they were. As I stepped up to take my turn I seemed to give off a bad vibe as the security guard gave me a funny look when we made eye contact. He patted me down and asked me what was in my suit pocket. I told him an unopened pack of cigarettes and a open box of cigars. My plan was to be polite but confused so security would just rush me through to get rid of me. I also figured it was a good idea to give up the box of cigars so he could find some kind of contraband and feel like he got me. I could tell my polite and confused attitude was working as I watched the security guard?s expressions as I said ?I?m more than happy to throw these away if you wish.? About the third time I said that he gave me a look them seemed to say ?You?re not smart enough to pull anything.? The security guard said ?No no, keep them, show them to that man there? as he pointed to another security guard. Feeling victorious I took a step towards the other guard when the original security guard stopped me. ?I?m not done searching you? he said.

I regained control of my body and spirit and tried to straighten up without looking like I was. As his hand went down my leg and patted my pockets, he nailed the bag of pills. I knew then, I was fucked. I also knew if I remained confident and confused I still had a good chance of pulling this off. The security guard asked me to empty my pockets. I put my hand in my pocket trying to feel for something? anything other than a bag of pills.

I felt around for what seemed like way too long trying to come up with something other than a baggie full of pills. There was an eternal pause as I fidgeted around in my pocket until my hand came across something else, some plastic and rather small. I grabbed whatever it was and pulled it out of my pocket and showed it to the security office who was searching me. He gave me a strange look and said ?Is that everything?? ?I think so? I said as I dug around in my pocket again missing the bag of pills with my hand. The security officer gave me one more look and finally not wanting to deal with me anymore sent me away to the security officer so he could inspect my cigars. I walked up to the other officer and handed him the box fully expecting him to throw them away. He took one look at the box and said ?These are fine.? I walked away from the entrance of the line to where my two friends were standing where they had been watching the situation intently waiting see what would happen. I just smiled at them and shrugged as we moved on to rave.

We were some of the first people into the building and I remember just standing in awe of the lights, the music, and the sound. The three of us walked around to each part of the rave just looking at everything and not really sure where we should begin. We looked at the pumpkin, all the stages, but my attention was mainly focused on the people we were surrounded by. I kept wondering what type of people these are, they?re unlike any others I had ever encountered. Extremely calm loose people with crazy outfits and looks of being content on their face. People who seemed to be not so much about themselves but about the vibes in the room and the general overall enjoyment and success with the whole event. I began to feel overwhelmed a bit, I felt so out of place in this environment and I was starting to think perhaps this was a bad idea. For some reason the institutional like colors of the walls along with the incredible noise and the general vibe of the people inside was getting to me. I can?t explain why but walking into that environment unprepared for what was going on and after having such an intense moment with the security staff and standing in a line for over two hours made me feel extremely disconnected and not like I belonged there. It was around this time that I dropped my first e-bomb.

I soon took off from The Diva and The Quiet Man because I couldn?t stand the thought of being a hanger on and also because this was their first rave together and I wanted them to enjoy it as a couple. I walked around for about ten minutes trying to gain a grasp of this scene but I felt just out of step with it. I went outside to have a cigarette and get some fresh air. I sat there for about ten minutes not talking to anyone and not looking to talk to anyone. I cursed myself for being stupid and for coming to this. I worried how the e-bomb would effect me if I was in this state of mind and panicked in my head about having a horrible trip. Looking for just some sympathy or connection of some sort I wandered over to a security guard outside of the gate and offered him a cigarette. We shared a pleasant moment and then as I turned around to find my spot on the wall? it hit me like a fucking hurricane.

Okay? this is where it gets a little hazy.

I don?t remember how it started, I don?t remember who was the first, all I remember is walking around the rave telling everyone how fantastic I thought their costumes were to me. I swear to god I must?ve said this to at least two hundred or three hundred people last night. I don?t know where it came from at all but you know to be surrounded by so many amazing people who actually look quite fantastic and have some excellent vibes I just wanted to express my gratitude and say I think they?re amazing. Do you feel like you?re on E right now just reading those last few sentences? Gradually the aura, the vibes, the scene, the music, and the people all started to come together and it felt so right. I remember standing in the back of one of the stages just taking it all in and not believing I was actually here for this. Even if I wasn?t an active participant or if no one remembered me or if I felt negative about the whole thing later on, I knew for that one moment I was so extremely in sync with what was going on here. I felt it, I understood it, it was a fantastic thing. I don?t attribute this connection with e-bomb I was on at all, everyone who reads this will probably think that but honestly the E wasn?t hitting me all that hard at all, I think I just dropped whatever baggage I was carrying around and just accepted what was going on. I think in that environment, with those people, and that scene you simply had no other choice. It was then I needed a cigarette.

The smoking area outside was a beautiful place. I randomly talked to so many people, and at first I don?t think I even initiated any conversations people would just talk to me. And you know, I loved it, it was fantastic. All these connections with amazing people, so many smiles and so much happiness. My goal because I think in that state of mind I would be loved in small doses and annoying in large doses, I wanted to just spend like a couple minutes with this group and a couple minutes with that group. You know, make ?em laugh and spread some goodness around and then move on to the next group. It was easily the most incredible thing I had ever seen, people generally interested in each other and enjoying each other?s company. I?m used to very fake people who put on a mask and never let you near their comfort zone. The vast majority of people I talked to at this event were engaging and genuinely open and accepting. I don?t know if this is a big thing for everyone out there but imagine (and this is going to a horrible metaphor but it?s the first one that came to mind) seeing blue apples after a life time of green and red ones. It was like seeing blue apples and having to do a double take just to make sure you actually saw them. God I hate the apples metaphor but I couldn?t come up with a better one. I spent about a half hour to a hour out there just having conversations and entertaining people before I decided to head back inside after The Diva texted me asking me to come back.

The Diva and The Quiet Man and I had been separated from each other for about an hour when we met back up. We had settled into comfortable E highs and had gotten extremely tolerant of the environment around us and were just checking in on the other. I met them in the back of the room. As soon as I saw her and we made eye contact we just shared a ridiculous smile, one of pure bliss with each other. We embraced each other so intensely and then I took her down to the ground and rolled around with her for a bit while laughing the entire time. Clearly there was something to this thing because that was so ridiculously out of character for the both of us. The three of us visited each other for a few moments and I watched them dance for a bit before heading off again.

It was a little while after this when making conversation with some people that suddenly all the good vibes I was feeling and my state of mind crumbled. I?m not going to go into it but I hit a really horrible group of vibes which I connected into and it completely killed my mood and my high. This maybe exaggerating a little bit but not by much, I seriously felt just about the worst I think I had ever felt. It was like the exact opposite of the last hour and half. I was in a mild panicked as I desperately tried to search for my two friends just wanting to be around two people I knew. The strangest thing is that in the past hour and a half I had made conversation with just about anyone who walked by me and it was totally cool, but now I was just feeling it at all. I was starting to feel bad worrying that I?d never find them when I realized that I was extremely dehydrated. Heading into the bathroom area and more specifically the water fountains I spotted them just as they were leaving. I told them what was up and they totally took care of me. It?s amazing to have such incredible friends. After about five minutes, another e-bomb and a bottle of water I could start to feel the goodness returning. The highlight of the evening was upcoming for me. We all stuck together the three of us and made our way to one of the stages. I was feeling so good and so into this and they were so in a good place too that we all started dancing together. Just a little background here, I don?t dance and I apologize if ever on the rare occasion you accidentally see me try to dance, however for that space in time with the three of us all in our world it was the most gratifying experience I think I?ve ever had. Those few minutes we spent together there on that dance floor is seriously a mental image for me now whenever I feel down. Who would?ve imagined it?

The rest of the evening is kind of a blur.

I remember being astounded by the completely calmness of the entire crowd. I have been to a lot of parties and usually when you mix guys, drugs, and girls wild violent shit will break out. But I saw none of that at all, I was absolutely shocked. I remember bumping into a guy on accident, we both weren?t looking and I was expecting him to be pissed off but he was seriously all smiles. It was amazing to see that almost every person had a smile on their face. Compare that to a lot of house parties where there?s a minimum of two fights a night, it?s crazy.

A majority of the people I had the pleasure of having a conversation with were just absolute gems. It?s so strange for me because I?m used to people my age not having their act together and completely putting up a false image to compensate for that. However, I can?t believe how many kids my age at this event knew what they wanted to do with their lives, had intelligent thoughts and opinions, and just seem to be on a road somewhere. The way I talk and the words I use usually go over people?s heads but with the people at this event they seriously were staying with me on whatever I was talking about and like were right there all the way. I was fucking shocked. One quick example this one girl from Portland who?s a DJ and her friend were two of the most engaging articulate people I?d ever met. They had theirs lives together and a sense of direction. This rave seriously restored my faith in humanity.

I remember having two rather interesting encounters with girls last night as well. I kind of made out with a random girl last night who's name I don't remember but she was dressed like an angel with devil horns. She wanted me to go to Portland with her. I seriously wasn't looking for anything like that last night, I was just there to meet people and keep it on a friendly level but I don't know what happened. It was so random like I didn't try for it or anything, I was talking to her one second and the next second we were suddenly kissing. It seriously went on forever. When we both stopped we both just laughed and then she gave me her number. Fucking Insanity. The second encounter was a girl dressed like Snow White placing a pill of ecstasy on my tounge and then running off.

And I would like to make just one more observation. I think the producers of this event did an immaculate job of taking care of people. Things were overpriced and not everything is a victory but I saw that anyone who was having a problem or feeling bad was immediately taken care of. I saw one girl in the middle of a bad trip with three staff members around her talking her down. That was just fantastic to know that they were there taking care of people.

I just want to close this by saying the raver community and that whole event was one of the most enjoyable experiences I?d had. I was talking with a guy last night about the raver community because as the evening went along I became more and more curious about these people and what makes them tick. Why are they such loose and decent people? We came to the conclusion that ravers or at least his experiences and my observations from the evening put them as a new class of people. I came up with the term Neo-Hippie last night to describe this cross section of people and just about everyone who I talked to seem to agree with me. The thing that I think separates ravers from hippies however is that ravers seem to only be interested in harnessing their energy and vibes for one small moment in time. While hippies seem to think their energy and positive vibes will last forever. It seems to me that ravers just want a pleasurable environment where they can be accepted and have an amazing time. Hippies seem to want to change the world. I?m sorry the term ?hippie? since it?s so loose but it?s just the term that I think works. What I?m trying to say is that I think ravers are the much more mature version of that energy and those ideals. What I saw last night with everyone taking care of everyone and with everyone?s energy and vibes combining to make an amazing atmosphere is heaven to me (it doesn?t hurt that every girl you look at was amazingly good looking and usually wearing rather skimpy clothes? but I?m not here to talk about that). From nine to five I think something was accomplished maybe nothing real or anything of value but I think everyone being able to experience that environment and feel those vibes is a better person for it. I barely know anything about this culture, this group, this tribe but just from what I?ve seen, what I?ve experienced, and what I?ve been told, I feel rather strongly about this.

I want the final line of whatever this piece is to be a quote of something I yelled at The Diva at the height of emotions in the night.

?I can?t believe it took us twenty years to find a scene that?s all about peace, drugs, and good music. What the fuck was wrong with us? What the fuck were we afraid of??


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Hi  :scrambled:

My god... it's full of stars...

Edited by PhatWhitey420 (10/31/05 06:29 PM)

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Invisiblethegatewaydrug
my burning sunwill some dayrise

Registered: 11/15/04
Posts: 6,987
Loc: wherever i may roam
Re: Freaknight (My first rave) [Re: StrandedVoyager]
    #4876408 - 10/31/05 06:26 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

u write the looooonnnnggggeeessstttt stories mang


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May God have mercy upon my enemies, because i won't.

General George S. Patton
:paranoid:

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OfflineDeathCompany
Oneironaut
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Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 12,662
Loc: Somewhere in my head
Last seen: 1 year, 3 days
Re: Freaknight (My first rave) [Re: thegatewaydrug]
    #4876436 - 10/31/05 06:31 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

no kidding god damn


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InvisibleSoularize
slanted and enchanted
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Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 1,178
Loc: United States
Re: Freaknight (My first rave) [Re: StrandedVoyager]
    #4876672 - 10/31/05 07:22 PM (18 years, 4 months ago)

nice post.

I'll just say however, that not EVERY party ("rave") is as pleasant and purely blissful as the one which you experienced.

Congrats on your first party and having it be such a successful one though!  :laugh:

i went to maybe 15 or so "raves" from about 1999-2002...everyone from the old school back then had told me that the current scene was dead. apparently the first raves being held back in the late 80's/early 90's were truly something spectacular. all the older folks i know who experienced that era pretty much all agree about this. heh whatever. I had some amazingly spiritual and blissful experiences at some of those parties i went to, much like the one you've just written about.

...just feeling like you wouldnt rather be ANYWHERE in space or time, being one with the moment, the atmosphere, the sea of lovely people, the music, and just the entire collective energy...it really is an intensely beautiful feeling.

its funny too, the last "rave" i went to before i sorta fell out of that scene was actually a Freaknight party  :cool: and since halloween's also my birthday, freaknight parties were always something special for me.

Im guessing that Donald Glaude was spinning at this one...since after all he IS proclaimed as being "Seattle's hardest working DJ". I dont care what anybody says...Glaude just knows how to work a crowd with his music. in fact, i was so into his set during 2002's Freaknight that i was dancing like a FIEND at the very front of the crowd. i just remember people looking at me like i was posessed or something :grin:

good times.

nice writing btw!


{Peace}


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"All but one man died. There at Bitter Creek. And they say he ran awayyy." - A little show called Branded

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