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eris
underground
Registered: 11/17/98
Posts: 48,024
Loc: North East, USA
Last seen: 6 months, 16 days
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the withdrawl battle begins
#4227710 - 05/27/05 06:25 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Here it comes, I can feel it creeping up my back, legs and joints. I'll have to muscle my way through it alone. I pretty much saw it coming, didn't care, and now it's here.
I don't want to check into a detox (however it is not out of the question depending on how things go).
I have used opiates on and off for at least 8 years. I've never used them daily. There have been brief periods of time where I have gone on opiate binges but I always managed to make out ok. Only recently I stopped caring and got carried away with it. It's like playing with fire. There is some kind of morbid curiosity in me that keeps me pushing the limits of what I would call safe. It's not a question of me being uneducated.. I know pretty much all there is to know on the subject, I've seen friends ruin their lives and people suffer. I'm facing about a 2 month stretch of daily heroin use. No syringes were involved luckily. I used the drug by snorting. The product in this area is among the cheapest and highest quality in the country and its all over the place. Every street and neighborhood is loaded with dope around here. Pretty pure, clean, white powder in a blue bag with a name stamped on it.
I love the feeling that I get from this drug. It will cure just about any damn problem that I can think of from anxiety, fear, worry and other mental problem to physical pain. Of course it brings on a whole load of problems of it's own.. Oh well, It was fun while it lasted and now it's time to let it go before it gets too far out of control.
This is day three without using. I'm not sure if the worst has passed or if it is yet to come. I have experienced strong flu-like symptoms and aches/pains in the limbs and back.
This is a first for me and I'm determined, ready and willing to fight my way through it. I have gone through some tough shit in the past so I am positive that I can do it. Just felt like sharing, wish me luck!
-------------------- Immortal / Temporarily Retired The OG Thread Killer My mushroom hunting gallery
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: the withdrawl battle begins [Re: eris]
#4227929 - 05/27/05 07:27 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: the withdrawl battle begins [Re: eris]
#4227996 - 05/27/05 07:57 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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I'll be thinking of you...it takes a lot of courage to do what you're doing.
I believe you can do it too.
good luck!
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Organic
Lloyd
Registered: 04/14/02
Posts: 5,774
Loc: Overlook
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
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Re: the withdrawl battle begins [Re: eris]
#4228027 - 05/27/05 08:11 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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I used for about 7 years and have been clean around two, it may seem impossible to quit sometimes but you can do it. The only thing that stopped me from using was realizing how pointless and damaging it had become. I had tried tapering off before but it never worked because I didn't WANT to quit. You sound like you are at the point of wanting and knowing you need to quit. Time will heal most all of your wounds from opiate use. Good luck, I am confident you can make it through this
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eris
underground
Registered: 11/17/98
Posts: 48,024
Loc: North East, USA
Last seen: 6 months, 16 days
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Re: the withdrawl battle begins [Re: Icelander]
#4229954 - 05/28/05 12:28 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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I appreciate the support. Last night I was seriously hurting. I remember tossing and turning in the bed with extreme discomfort, to the point where i was yelling and moaning outloud, out of frustration mostly. It seemed like I was laying there forever. Some how I managed to fall asleep at who knows what time. Today I feel much better. Almost back to 100%. I even feel up to going out hiking. The thought of getting high is not even really appealing to me anymore, I'm just concerned with feeling normal again.
-------------------- Immortal / Temporarily Retired The OG Thread Killer My mushroom hunting gallery
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Retired
Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 635
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
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Re: the withdrawl battle begins [Re: eris]
#4229975 - 05/28/05 12:36 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Good luck man. If you need any support you can find me here...
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: the withdrawl battle begins [Re: eris]
#4231252 - 05/28/05 07:52 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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I know the feeling well my friend, PM me any time you need to talk. Much love and good luck to you!
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Cubieman420
Sharing in thegroove
Registered: 03/20/02
Posts: 2,693
Loc: Midwest
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Re: the withdrawl battle begins [Re: Dark_Star]
#4231356 - 05/28/05 08:11 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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-------------------- "...now waters run free, no more fish in the sea..." 1983-2004
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orechron
LIVEWRONG
Registered: 05/20/05
Posts: 299
Loc: Fallout Zone
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Re: the withdrawl battle begins [Re: Cubieman420]
#4233831 - 05/29/05 03:40 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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My withdrawal battles are typically spent with a belly full of benzos. I'm not terribly prone to addiction but taking 2mg of xanax with breakfast, 1mg at lunch, and 2mg in the evening helps a lot. It's kept me functional after binging on heroin, opium, or fenatyl several times.
-------------------- Live by the foma that make you brave, and kind, and healthy, and happy.
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Adden
Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc:
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Re: the withdrawl battle begins [Re: orechron]
#4235548 - 05/30/05 02:34 AM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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That's odd, I fix my benzo withdrawls with alcohol.
What happens when the booze wears off??!
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EnCHaNTeDHoBBiT
Drug Connoisseur
Registered: 09/15/03
Posts: 337
Loc: Crawling on The Forest Fl...
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
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Re: the withdrawl battle begins [Re: Adden]
#4235681 - 05/30/05 03:14 AM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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That's great man! Good luck! Drink lots of water and tea, flush your system. This will help get the drugs out and maybe make the withdrawls less intense. Don't forget to take a multivitamin, B-complex vitamin and a vitamin C, all these could do great things for you during these hard times.
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orechron
LIVEWRONG
Registered: 05/20/05
Posts: 299
Loc: Fallout Zone
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Re: the withdrawl battle begins [Re: Adden]
#4236477 - 05/30/05 11:50 AM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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When the benzo's wear off? Nothing. Like I said I'm not terribly prone to addiction and the benzo's don't present any problem to me.
-------------------- Live by the foma that make you brave, and kind, and healthy, and happy.
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eris
underground
Registered: 11/17/98
Posts: 48,024
Loc: North East, USA
Last seen: 6 months, 16 days
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Re: the withdrawl battle begins [Re: orechron]
#4237103 - 05/30/05 03:09 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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I've tried using benzos also and they help. The only problem that I have with that, is I get so tired that I can't and don't really feel like doing anything. My whole body feels weak and tired.
Stimulants seem to help more for me. I have been using some amphetamines which have helped combat the sick and tired feeling. They keep my mind occupied at least so I'm not focused on the pain so much.
Coke is another that seems to help. It's never given me any withdrawl problems. I can put the stem down at the end of the day and say "no more". I can't afford that at all. Amphetamines seem more reasonable - they last longer and don't cost as much.
I have gone totally bankrupt due to my drug habits. My bank account has been totally drained and it's to the point where sometimes I can't even find a few bucks to buy myself gas. I found myself forced to panhandle a few times.. it's not fun at all. Living like that really sucks. So many people that I know just spend their lives looking for any sort of money that they can find and instantly go buy a piece of rock or a bag of dope with it. I know a few young girls that spend the day looking for "clients" so that they can have sex with them for money and buy more crack with it.
My friends continue to suffer and I often end up giving them money when I should just be saving it for myself because I need it right now. I have a job and work for every bit of money that I get. These friends of mine do not. I am there to help them when things go bad because I don't want to see them suffer. When things go bad for me, nobody is there to help me out because these people can;t even help themselves.
-------------------- Immortal / Temporarily Retired The OG Thread Killer My mushroom hunting gallery
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Gomp
¡(Bound to·(O))be free!
Registered: 09/11/04
Posts: 10,888
Loc: I re·side [primarily] in...
Last seen: 1 year, 28 days
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Re: the withdrawl battle begins [Re: eris]
#4237382 - 05/30/05 04:38 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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luck to you, I wish!
-------------------- -------------------- Disclaimer!?
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