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 JettaJay
PsychedelicStranger
Registered: 10/14/04
Posts: 2,829
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 Lately 
#4052774 - 04/13/05 11:40 PM (19 years, 7 days ago) |
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I haven't been on the Shroomery Lately. I have been trying to figure out life. The more I try the more I find myself want to just lay down and die. I have been in a funk here of late for some reason. I honestly held a knife in my hand last night and was extreemly close to slashing my wrists. I don't know what to do. I have been this way before but not for a long time. Most of the time, after I went through a 2 year deep depression stage, that I got down it was just a little. Now it's really bad. I'm not even sure why I'm typing this. I really do not feel like it ...
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I saw a little green light buzzing around in a tree, and it dawned on me that "they" were here
~~~LouiseLouise
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 chemistry
One.
Registered: 11/09/04
Posts: 212
Last seen: 18 years, 10 months
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hey man. whats the problem?
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c h e m i s t r y
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signoffate
Only Human
Registered: 02/22/05
Posts: 161
Loc: Where is here?
Last seen: 17 years, 2 months
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How many people go though with it and then realize just how much they want to live? If you want to go laying in a pool of your own blood with the feeling of deep cuts and regret... whats stopping you? There I asked, now don't go try and kill yourself because you don't think anyone gives a damn! I don't know shit about what your going though, so I aint gonna try and give you some BS online support... all I want to say is _____!
Try it sometime.
P.S.
Tonight, when I pray to this thing we call living, I will be thinking about you Jay. Wait for it!
Also named,
Jay
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Boom
just a tester
Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,252
Loc: Cypress Creek
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"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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IMO most of us that get depressed do so because our lives aren't authentic. The culture wants you to be something that you don't want for yourself. Depression is a sane reaction to this. I'm working on my own solution which is working for me. You have to take the chance to find what works for you. If you want to kill yourself then you have nothing left to lose. Now you can take the chance to live differently; take any risk now, to free yourself from situations or people who are holding you in a place you don't want to be. Sometimes it's easier to kill ourselves then to try some completely risky and new way of living. But really at this point what do you have to lose. 
If this resonates use it. If not, it ain't your problem and disregard. Good luck, 
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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.
" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.
With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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p4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
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Most depression stimulates from some sort of anxiety. Anxiety=Fear. What is fear original designed for? For protection yes? Protection from what? Getting hurt? We are animals not born to be in the ego based modern society but to be born free in the nature. Is it true that are minds become soo mildly consumed on todays society that we actually posses fear about things that we are not originally designed for? Look at your self from the outside, is this what lifes about? Are the problems in your life really worth being sad about? If your trying to figure out life stop.. its impossible. The key to life is living the mystery. Change your mind, change your reality and yes you can do it. If your going to commit suicide do so but kill your ego not your body. Stick in there man ive gone though the same exact thing as you have... Hope that helps.
oh yeah stay away from drugs they just screw you up even more...
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HeavyToilet
The Heaviest OfThem All
Registered: 08/06/03
Posts: 9,458
Loc: British Columbia
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Do you have a goal in life?
I think if you don't really have one, and just live life aimlessly that can lead to problems.
Try and figure out a goal, such as getting a degree in the bla bla field. Then just try and work toward achieving that goal.
I think getting a degree in a field you're interested in would be my suggestion.
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Check PMs.
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XUL
OTD Janitor
Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 28,261
Loc: America 
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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please dont kill yourself
i think before killing yourself, you should just free yourself
leave your home, go run away, see what you find
even if you dont haev money, just go, and wing it
you will find some beauty in the world eventually
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TRUMP 2020
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HeavyToilet
The Heaviest OfThem All
Registered: 08/06/03
Posts: 9,458
Loc: British Columbia
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Re: Lately [Re: XUL]
#4058277 - 04/15/05 10:17 AM (19 years, 5 days ago) |
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If he does that then he'll be a bum, and even worse off.
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Mushie_Man
Fuck Up
Registered: 05/21/04
Posts: 889
Loc: UK
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Same shit, different day 
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Ecstacy got me standing next to you
Getting sentimental as fuck spillin' guts to you
We just met
But I think I'm in love with you
But you're on it too
So you tell me you love me too
Wake up in the morning like "yo, what the fuck we do?"
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nonoman
ambassador
Registered: 06/25/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: the wood
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
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Quote:
Icelander said:
IMO most of us that get depressed do so because our lives aren't authentic. The culture wants you to be something that you don't want for yourself. Depression is a sane reaction to this.
Sage advice. Find yourself brother. The counterculture can sometimes want you to be something you don't want for yourself also.
Ditch the opiates for a while and stick to the herb if it helps. I wouldn't bother saying this if I didn't care. I've been laid off since Jan. and somewhat despondent, but I know all things will pass...
Peace.
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Gomp
¡(Bound to·(O))be free!
Registered: 09/11/04
Posts: 10,888
Loc: I re·side [primarily] in...
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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life is trying to figure you out! 
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Disclaimer!?
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Tudik
Stranger
Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 11
Last seen: 19 years, 2 days
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Quote:
Same shit, different day
 I feel the same way.
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