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OfflineCracked Egg
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Think about vs. acting it out..
    #27296720 - 05/06/21 08:22 AM (2 years, 10 months ago)

When I was younger I use to think these 2 were different from one another, but now that I'm older I am beginning to view these as the same.. at least in the same ball park.

Ok..

Let's say your significant other starts a new job and within a few weeks she/ he naturally becomes attracted to another employee.. light flirting and hanging out with eachother every day at work.

The line is never crossed. No one cheats, but it's def not ever talked about and the daily flirting is wrong.. you would be upset if you found out because it's far beyond friendly flirting that might possibly turn into a physical relationship in the near future.

Now, let's say you start a new job and find yourself attracted to someone, but you keep it respectful. Your friendly but that's it.

However, you randomly go home and masturbate to the idea of said person.

With all that being said...

Are both parties equal?

Both could eventually lead to something bigger.

I do know it's not a huge deal and they are both minor.. it was just a random thought I had earlier.

:shrug:


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People Say I'll Regret That In the Morning, So I Sleep Till Noon..

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InvisibleNifflerz
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Re: Think about vs. acting it out.. [Re: Cracked Egg]
    #27296726 - 05/06/21 08:28 AM (2 years, 10 months ago)

Interesting thought and thread topic.

:threadmonitor:


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
shoulda died already
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Re: Think about vs. acting it out.. [Re: Cracked Egg]
    #27296736 - 05/06/21 08:32 AM (2 years, 10 months ago)

I think they carry a similar weight but they come from different places. One is obviously less acting out, there's no interaction. But it represents maybe an error in your relationship with your SO that might need addressed. Or maybe not. I mean there are a lot of ways to take that kind of information. No one would want to hear that shit, for sure. But also maybe that "personal time"(:whacker:) is all it is. Some people are better than others at separating fantasy from reality. Which brings me to the flirting. I think unless there are set boundaries on that kind of thing then it represents consent. Not necessarily sexual, but nevertheless consent to interact in a way that I'd consider intimate. Flirting is a mating ritual after all.

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OfflinegopherS
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Re: Think about vs. acting it out.. [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #27296743 - 05/06/21 08:39 AM (2 years, 10 months ago)

I think if they are just thoughts, and you keep them to yourself, including things like trolling the persons facebook for photos, there should be no thought police

but then thinking leads to doing - maybe - its probably better not to think of these things, you will, but if you notice these thoughts, take your thinking on to your breathing or something, the thought should pass


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For most of the normies out there, an operating system is just a bootloader for Google Chrome.

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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Think about vs. acting it out.. [Re: gopher]
    #27296770 - 05/06/21 08:59 AM (2 years, 10 months ago)

Flirting and mastu8rbating are actions, not thoughts.

If you are in a relationship and you masturbate furiously about someone else, thats a form of infidelity. Flirting is a step up from that because you both communicate the interest to each other in playful interaction.


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Omnicyclion.org
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Offlinespirit_shadow
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Re: Think about vs. acting it out.. [Re: gopher]
    #27296772 - 05/06/21 09:00 AM (2 years, 10 months ago)

Stop using the monkey part of your brain, problem solved :house:


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This is the way.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
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OfflineYeetusdeetus
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Re: Think about vs. acting it out.. [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #27296776 - 05/06/21 09:05 AM (2 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

spirit_shadow said:
Stop using the monkey part of your brain, problem solved :house:




But what if I’m a monkey? That’s like 100% less brain bro


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Invisiblesplit_by_nine
i am the liquor

Registered: 07/11/18
Posts: 21,288
Re: Think about vs. acting it out.. [Re: Asante] * 2
    #27296801 - 05/06/21 09:35 AM (2 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Asante said:
Flirting and mastu8rbating are actions, not thoughts.




true


Quote:

If you are in a relationship and you masturbate furiously about someone else, thats a form of infidelity.




this i dont agree with. not all relationships have the same boundaries. we are attracted to many other people around us, including our significant other, and masturbating is a healthy sexual release.


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🐴:poop:
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Invisiblesplit_by_nine
i am the liquor

Registered: 07/11/18
Posts: 21,288
Re: Think about vs. acting it out.. [Re: Cracked Egg] * 1
    #27296808 - 05/06/21 09:40 AM (2 years, 10 months ago)

well, to answer your question, first we must determine how committed each person is to the relationship.

if you are 100% committed to one another then some light flirting is harmless.

sounds like the relationship isnt 100% if both people are instantly engaging in flirtatious behaviour with co-workers they have just met. not to mention how unprofessional that is for the workplace.

now, on the other hand, you may both be committed 100% but if you are spending more time at work then with each other, the feelings start to slide and you are getting more attention from this "coworker". thats when the cheating starts.


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🐴:poop:
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Offlinespirit_shadow
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Re: Think about vs. acting it out.. [Re: Yeetusdeetus]
    #27296848 - 05/06/21 10:28 AM (2 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Yeetusdeetus said:
Quote:

spirit_shadow said:
Stop using the monkey part of your brain, problem solved :house:




But what if I’m a monkey? That’s like 100% less brain bro



If you are a monkey then it doesn't matter what you do(in terms of human society) :awehigh:


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This is the way.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
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OfflineEggtimer
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Re: Think about vs. acting it out.. [Re: Cracked Egg]
    #27297104 - 05/06/21 02:18 PM (2 years, 10 months ago)

I once heard the phrase "it doesn't matter where you work up an appetite as long as you come home to eat"

That being said I definitely wouldn't be thinking about the same person a lot if you're already in a closed relationship. The more you think about something you're building patterns in your mind like ruts in the mud and they kept getting bigger the more you do it.

Personally I haven't been in a relationship for the past 3 years. I really try to avoid thinking about people in my daily life in any sort of fantasy type of thoughts because it just builds a stronger pattern. I have been the person that was with the person already in a relationship even though they came onto me and acted like they were done with the other person I still feel bad about that.

It's clear to me now it wasn't the right thing to do and I don't intend to be with anyone else unless I'm sure I want a future with them. Relationships seem to require constant work and if both parties aren't putting in what the other wants is when the cheating part happens.


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It's all for the :lol:s

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InvisibleShiithead
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Re: Think about vs. acting it out.. [Re: Eggtimer]
    #27297120 - 05/06/21 02:26 PM (2 years, 10 months ago)

I think they are the same. Masturbating is probably safer because you release the tension far away from the other person and you can get back to living your life pretty easily. It's harder to move on from making an actual connection with someone else I'd imagine.

Otherwise, just think about Jesus if you feel like sinning.

:jesusmagic:


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Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.

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OfflineCracked Egg
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Re: Think about vs. acting it out.. [Re: Shiithead]
    #27297614 - 05/06/21 08:09 PM (2 years, 10 months ago)

This thread was def quality over quantity..

Even though I see others points of view, I still stand strongly behind mine. Both can lead to a negative situation while in a relationship with another.

Jerking off is harmless, but it does me your desire and feelings will grow and will turn that friendly hello into extreme ravaged butt sex. The steps might be a bit different, but it all ends the same.

Boy flirting with girl could also lead to fisting one another.

I think, if you're in a relationship 100% you do not put yourself in situations to where something might happen. I do understand that while masturbating anybody can get you there, but that's when you have to be an adult and keep it in your fantasy spank bank.

Don't be whore. Be faithful. And :whacker: to everything except the woman/ man you work with.


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People Say I'll Regret That In the Morning, So I Sleep Till Noon..

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OfflineCracked Egg
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Re: Think about vs. acting it out.. [Re: Cracked Egg]
    #27297616 - 05/06/21 08:10 PM (2 years, 10 months ago)

I just reread my post and I got one thing to say. Don't drink and thread.

Say NO to D&T


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People Say I'll Regret That In the Morning, So I Sleep Till Noon..

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Invisiblesplit_by_nine
i am the liquor

Registered: 07/11/18
Posts: 21,288
Re: Think about vs. acting it out.. [Re: Cracked Egg]
    #27297653 - 05/06/21 08:30 PM (2 years, 10 months ago)

:migraine:


so tell us about the girl at work you wana big bang theory with


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🐴:poop:
hpoo or die

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OfflineCracked Egg
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Re: Think about vs. acting it out.. [Re: split_by_nine]
    #27297684 - 05/06/21 08:45 PM (2 years, 10 months ago)

:lolsy:

There is no girl.. only dudes and I'm not gay. Like I said, it was only a random thought.


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People Say I'll Regret That In the Morning, So I Sleep Till Noon..

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Invisiblesplit_by_nine
i am the liquor

Registered: 07/11/18
Posts: 21,288
Re: Think about vs. acting it out.. [Re: Cracked Egg]
    #27297737 - 05/06/21 09:14 PM (2 years, 10 months ago)

:pink:


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OfflinePsion
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Re: Think about vs. acting it out.. [Re: split_by_nine] * 2
    #27298115 - 05/07/21 06:03 AM (2 years, 10 months ago)

the problem with a lot of people (at least in america), i think, is that they have an unhealthy relationship with the line between fantasy and reality. they see fantasy and imagination, and seem to think that one will lead you into a slippery slope into another.

the problem is, slippery slope is a logical fallacy.

unfortunately, slippery slopes are things that see a lot of use here in america, so it's not a surprise that people fear fantasies, thinking that their fetishes and dark imaginations are going to lead them to become some perverted weirdos that are going to do dark and terrible things to people in real life.

but for those of us with a healthier relationship with fantasy, the thing is... we realize full well that fantasy isn't reality, and that real life isn't so pretty and organized as how ones daydreams would play out. fantasy is simply an escape, a way to release tension, to explore "what ifs", and it honestly leads one to becoming a better rounded person.

so honestly, it really can't be infidelity in the first place, because the imaginary person you're "having sex with" isn't really even a realistic impersonation of your co-worker/friend/whoever in the first place... or even a real person to begin with. it's an idealized fantasy, without the messy imperfections of a true person, no matter how good you are at imagining it. it's really more like an elaborate form of masturbation at best, seeing as how you're the one providing the "personality" to it to begin with. <_<;

now, if you're finding that you're fantasizing obsessively about said person, while trying to forget about your significant other entirely all the time, that's a red flag, but this isn't a negative for fantasizing - if anything, it's a good reason for why it's so important. if you hadn't been fantasizing in the first place, you wouldn't have become aware that something was wrong in your relationship to begin with - and something was wrong to begin with, the fantasy didn't cause it. maybe there's just not enough zest in your relationship, or maybe too many arguments and not enough discussion. maybe there's financial woes or other sources of stress. regardless of what it is, there's likely something causing you to have a wandering eye, and fantasy isn't the cause - merely a useful tool that alerts you to possible issues that might be arising in your life.

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