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jdawg333
Stranger
Registered: 08/22/18
Posts: 580
Last seen: 1 month, 1 day
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'Coming out' of psychedelic experiences years later? 1
#27295713 - 05/05/21 03:40 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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The title is a little misleading but it's what I initially wrote. I don't mean tripping for years, I mean feeling like it took you years to understand trips and fully get over the confusion and maybe even trauma. The question I'm asking basically: have you ever had incredibly heavy psychedelic trips that took you years to fully process/move on from? I had a series of very intense trips a few years back, at first I tried to take them as much as possible but after several trips I ended up taking a massive break. I got back into it a few times after that summer but only low doses and often felt more cathartic than recreational to trip- I'd get anxiety and feel like it was more medicine than a recreation even with small doses.
Recently, however, I feel like I have somehow integrated those past experiences and know exactly why they had to happen. Nothing specific in my life changed, but I feel as though the big pictures is clearer and I feel the same way I did before I did drugs, in a way.
The interesting thing to me is the processing seems to have done most of its work on its own. I just made efforts to be a better person continuously and in small ways and I feel like a weight has been lifted. At the same time this is likely just my life temporarily improving, and me misinterpreting that improvement, but I do feel like I have somehow 'moved on' from some haunting psychedelic experiences for the first time.
Does anybody else relate to this?
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NOS4A2
This is the way
Registered: 07/22/04
Posts: 572
Loc: -tite
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Re: 'Coming out' of psychedelic experiences years later? [Re: jdawg333]
#27295868 - 05/05/21 05:27 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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I do. I have found myself in a weird spot right now. I had a long break and I thought I was ready to really get back into it now that I’ve gotten through a painful divorce and finding someone who’s actually good to me. However, now I find that I’m apprehensive. I’m worried. This is new and exciting for my partner and I look at her and wish I had that newness again. The wonderment. I haven’t figured it all out yet by any means, but I’m definitely at that point where the trip almost feels like more work than pleasure. I know it’s just my perspective and I can change it and I try. I want to get to that point where I’m comfortable in my skin like when I was young and felt invincible. It’d be great to have it figured out. Just when I think im there, i find out I’m still broken.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,063
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Re: 'Coming out' of psychedelic experiences years later? [Re: NOS4A2] 1
#27296062 - 05/05/21 07:08 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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I have come to understand the same thing several different ways.
People used to tell me that I will understand later, but even later, and after that again, I have come to other understandings of the same experience.
not only trips.
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DERRAYLD
Constructus
Registered: 05/13/02
Posts: 9,839
Loc: South Africa
Last seen: 2 hours, 39 minutes
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Re: 'Coming out' of psychedelic experiences years later? [Re: NOS4A2]
#27296544 - 05/06/21 05:01 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
NOS4A2 said: I do. I have found myself in a weird spot right now. I had a long break and I thought I was ready to really get back into it now that I’ve gotten through a painful divorce and finding someone who’s actually good to me. However, now I find that I’m apprehensive. I’m worried. This is new and exciting for my partner and I look at her and wish I had that newness again. The wonderment. I haven’t figured it all out yet by any means, but I’m definitely at that point where the trip almost feels like more work than pleasure. I know it’s just my perspective and I can change it and I try. I want to get to that point where I’m comfortable in my skin like when I was young and felt invincible. It’d be great to have it figured out. Just when I think im there, i find out I’m still broken.
Going through the same but struggling with trust, can't see myself as an individual at the moment which is making me feel lost. I generally feel less lost when I'm around my sons but in general I feel like a lost soul. I used to have a trip friend that died from a H overdose 14 years ago, on Saturday night I started to miss him and shed a tear but this is not the first time, I don't think ill ever get over his loss.
I'm just finding that my psychedelic experience is aided by communication which I am lacking at the moment, no one to discuss the feelings and experience, therapy only helps so much.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,063
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Re: 'Coming out' of psychedelic experiences years later? [Re: DERRAYLD]
#27296590 - 05/06/21 06:26 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
DERRAYLD said:
Quote:
NOS4A2 said: I do. I have found myself in a weird spot right now. I had a long break and I thought I was ready to really get back into it now that I’ve gotten through a painful divorce and finding someone who’s actually good to me. However, now I find that I’m apprehensive. I’m worried. This is new and exciting for my partner and I look at her and wish I had that newness again. The wonderment. I haven’t figured it all out yet by any means, but I’m definitely at that point where the trip almost feels like more work than pleasure. I know it’s just my perspective and I can change it and I try. I want to get to that point where I’m comfortable in my skin like when I was young and felt invincible. It’d be great to have it figured out. Just when I think im there, i find out I’m still broken.
Going through the same but struggling with trust, can't see myself as an individual at the moment which is making me feel lost. I generally feel less lost when I'm around my sons but in general I feel like a lost soul. I used to have a trip friend that died from a H overdose 14 years ago, on Saturday night I started to miss him and shed a tear but this is not the first time, I don't think ill ever get over his loss.
I'm just finding that my psychedelic experience is aided by communication which I am lacking at the moment, no one to discuss the feelings and experience, therapy only helps so much.
this is how we come to see the vulnerable humanity in self and others, individuals but each experiencing deep raw emotionality and confusion in our individual lives.
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