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ConfettiHead
Kindred Spirit
Registered: 06/14/12
Posts: 622
Loc: Terra firma
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
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How Mescaline Killed Me
#16983699 - 10/07/12 12:14 PM (11 years, 5 months ago) |
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Not long ago I started a thread about mescaline. In that thread I mentioned how I had never tried it before, but I was wondering if I should or not. Nearly everyone that responded to my post had nothing but wonderful things to say about the sacred cacti. So, I decided to be patient as always and just wait on it to come my way, no matter how long that may be. To my surprise, it fell into my hands (without me actively searching for it) only a few weeks later.
It is now two days after my mescaline trip and I feel more awakened than ever. I feel transformed, healed and aligned. I am renewed, refreshed, open, positive. Let's just say...I am everything that I'm not. The mescaline took me by surprise; I didn't know what was coming. I am an experienced psychonaut, but this was something new.
On the morning of October 5, 2012 I ingested approximately 300 milligrams of mescaline hydro chloride. The taste was so incredibly bitter that it made me quiver in disgust. It took a little over an hour for the effects to start kicking in. As the visuals became increasingly intense I decided to depart from where I was at the time and get home as quickly as possible.
As soon as I arrived back at my place I went straight to the bathroom to brush my teeth. What should have taken two minutes in the bathroom instead took me about half an hour. I could not stop looking at my teeth, my face, my body and all my tattoos. I studied the human body. It seemed so peculiar to me. I asked myself, why is my consciousness bound by this organic structure? How can I break free from identifying with this body? Because it is surely not me. I pondered about these things for awhile.
After some time in the bathroom I left and went to go lay down in my bed. I did not turn on any music and I did not turn on any lights. I did not smoke any weed (which is something I normally do while tripping) and I did not get up from my bed for the entire duration of the trip. I spent the entire time meditating and I rarely opened my eyes. The closed eye visuals were by far the most amazing thing I had ever witnessed. I was caught in fractals, kaleidoscopes, webs, spirals, cubes and other complex geometric shapes and patterns. I WAS geometry. I was overwhelmed with awe and wonder as I realized how sacramental all of it was. I needed this more than anything. I felt like this was necessary for me because I had recently been neglecting the spiritual side of life for a more artificial, separated, negative type of thinking. As the awakening process began, I literally started crying. I cried tears of sorrow and tears of hope simultaneously. I was sad because the "old me" that I had started to identify with was dying. I was hopeful because I was realizing that a "new me" (a "better me") was beginning to manifest. However, the manifestation would not be complete until the end of the trip, so for now I just simply felt dead.
The energy in my room was getting darker. I opened my eyes in fear. I began to see cockroaches and other alien-like bugs crawling all over the walls. Cobwebs emerged as everything seemed to get dustier. I began to feel very old and disgusting. The darkness consumed my entire being. It completely broke me and I felt neglected, hated and worthless. Through all of this I realized that I was facing my own demons. I was witnessing myself from a third person perspective and I was desperately trying to tell myself that I am not supposed to live life this way. I screamed at myself.
"You are bound by hatred and negativity. Break the chains, stop the cycle...don't let it be what you are anymore. DIE! Because only through death will you become alive again."
As my being began to transform before my eyes a sense of joy showered upon me. Ancient tribal warriors and gods took over my field of vision; they were reflections of my new character. I realized that I have the ability to be anything that I want to be; I just needed to find what it was that I'm passionate about and pursue that from this moment forward. Not only would I pursue it, but I would pursue it in an uplifting and positive way. This would be my way of impacting the earth while I was still on it. Once again, just like with my other psychedelic experiences, a timeless sense of love for all things and a feeling of connectivity to all things took over me.
To me mescaline is more entheogenic than LSD or psilocybin. In comparison to the other two it felt a lot more dreamy and spiritual. I was able to meditate very, very deeply and that was extremely beneficial to my health. I would definitely consume this substance again and I would recommend it to anyone seeking a healing experience. Overall I came out a more positive, spiritual, holistic individual and I believe that this type of thinking is something we desperately need as humans. Thank you for reading, peace and love.
ConfettiHead
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jellyfish
Registered: 10/02/05
Posts: 7,457
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Rorge
Scoundrel
Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1,288
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
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Re: How Mescaline Killed Me [Re: jellyfish]
#16983939 - 10/07/12 12:52 PM (11 years, 5 months ago) |
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Sick experience.
When you looked in the mirror on mescaline, did the shadowing of your features look very different? Kind of like they were darker or altered in some way?
It's hard to explain but that's what happened to me. I also felt that disconnected feeling from who I was seeing. Very dreamy feeling, indescribable.
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felix4life
Sky
Registered: 01/09/05
Posts: 467
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
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Re: How Mescaline Killed Me [Re: Rorge]
#16984012 - 10/07/12 01:05 PM (11 years, 5 months ago) |
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Definitely a life changer. I remember losing sense of who i was while on mescaline and I had to find my way back by following the fragrant trail of my soul.
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starfire_xes
I Am 'They'
Registered: 10/24/09
Posts: 21,590
Loc: Dallas with all the assho...
Last seen: 9 months, 10 hours
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Re: How Mescaline Killed Me [Re: felix4life]
#16984080 - 10/07/12 01:16 PM (11 years, 5 months ago) |
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your ego dies even on moderate doses. I remember on bridgessi, the plastic flowers on the table were talking to me.
-------------------- [/url][/url] IF THE NEIGHBORS COMPLAIN BECAUSE THE MUSIC'S TOO LOUD, TURN IT UP SO YOU CAN'T HEAR THEM BITCH
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Rorge
Scoundrel
Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1,288
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
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It's interesting because at the time that I tripped (year and a half ago), I had a very negative self image. In my sober existence I hated what I saw when I looked in the mirror.
But when tripping it's like it wasn't me who I was seeing and I actually really liked what I saw and thought, "hey that dude is pretty awesome."
Edited by Rorge (10/07/12 01:21 PM)
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Rewindicus
Silly Goose
Registered: 06/05/11
Posts: 5,491
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
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Re: How Mescaline Killed Me [Re: Rorge]
#16984337 - 10/07/12 02:00 PM (11 years, 5 months ago) |
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Excellent write up! What were the OEVS for you?
-------------------- “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”- Dr. Seuss "Too much of a good thing, can be wonderful!" - Mae West "If you have nothing nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me." - Alice Roosevelt Longworth
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igCorcaigh
Registered: 06/17/12
Posts: 1,688
Loc: Ireland
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: How Mescaline Killed Me [Re: Rewindicus]
#16984508 - 10/07/12 02:33 PM (11 years, 5 months ago) |
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Amazing. I'd fucking LOVE to get my hands on some mescaline.
Great report OP.
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ChubbyPitbull
Delta 9
Registered: 11/21/09
Posts: 599
Loc: Stargazing
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Re: How Mescaline Killed Me *DELETED* [Re: Rewindicus]
#16984544 - 10/07/12 02:39 PM (11 years, 5 months ago) |
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Post deleted by ChubbyPitbullReason for deletion: v
-------------------- Disciple of Design and Love of Knowledge
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joemolloy
DMT is Bullshit
Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 6,525
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And your life changed because now you always keep a feather in your hat.
-------------------- Don't PM me with bullshit. I don't sell or trade cactus and I don't know where you can get any, other than your mother's ass.
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Rewindicus
Silly Goose
Registered: 06/05/11
Posts: 5,491
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
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Dang that's awesome! My last mushroom trip of 6g was producing colors I've never even seen. Like off spectrum colors it was such a beautiful light show I was literally weeping.
I know this is a cacti thread but ime high enough doses of mush/dmt/mescaline it all starts looking the same to me. But each and every time still equally amazing.
I did peyote once. It was hellish but that had more to do with the setting/circumstance/people I was with.
-------------------- “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”- Dr. Seuss "Too much of a good thing, can be wonderful!" - Mae West "If you have nothing nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me." - Alice Roosevelt Longworth
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igCorcaigh
Registered: 06/17/12
Posts: 1,688
Loc: Ireland
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: How Mescaline Killed Me [Re: Rewindicus]
#16984614 - 10/07/12 02:50 PM (11 years, 5 months ago) |
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Notwithstanding high doses, are the visuals from mescaline then very different from psilocybin?
I've never experienced that intensity and purity of colour from psilocybin, more of a warping and colour transition type of thing.
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joemolloy
DMT is Bullshit
Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 6,525
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Re: How Mescaline Killed Me [Re: Rewindicus]
#16984616 - 10/07/12 02:51 PM (11 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
I know this is a cacti thread but ime high enough doses of mush/dmt/mescaline it all starts looking the same to me.
Agreed. It's kind of strange with mescaline though. I usually take the same exact amount of tar from a very large extraction I made a long time ago and sometimes those trips destroy me and other times they don't. I really don't understand what the variables are that decide whether I have an ayahuasca type mescaline trip or a lighter one.
-------------------- Don't PM me with bullshit. I don't sell or trade cactus and I don't know where you can get any, other than your mother's ass.
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Rewindicus
Silly Goose
Registered: 06/05/11
Posts: 5,491
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
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Re: How Mescaline Killed Me [Re: joemolloy]
#16984646 - 10/07/12 02:56 PM (11 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yah I hear you. It's the same for my aya juice I keep a container of it and stir it up real good always pouring the same dose from the same batch but the outcome is never the same. Sometimes full worldly immersion other times just falling through fractals and flashing light.
-------------------- “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”- Dr. Seuss "Too much of a good thing, can be wonderful!" - Mae West "If you have nothing nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me." - Alice Roosevelt Longworth
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ConfettiHead
Kindred Spirit
Registered: 06/14/12
Posts: 622
Loc: Terra firma
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
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Re: How Mescaline Killed Me [Re: Rewindicus]
#16984963 - 10/07/12 03:40 PM (11 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rorge said: When you looked in the mirror on mescaline, did the shadowing of your features look very different? Kind of like they were darker or altered in some way?
Yes, I felt like I didn't know myself and that's why I spent so much time studying myself. I did feel like I was kind of studying a "darker" version of me. Although, I wasn't afraid of myself, just intrigued.
Quote:
Rewindicus said: Excellent write up! What were the OEVS for you?
Like I said in the original post, I rarely opened my eyes during the trip. But, when I did open my eyes I saw a lot of plants and critters even though I was inside. For instance, I saw brightly colored bat-like figures and alien bugs crawling on various vines and leaves that seemed to be growing all over the walls.
Some OEVs were beyond words though. I just don't know how to explain them.
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FoxDie
Spelunkin'
Registered: 08/19/11
Posts: 685
Loc: Seattle, WA
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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That's awesome. I've had similar realization/transformation on shrooms but not that beneficial.
-------------------- Feels like my asshole's on fire... FEELS LIKE MY ASSHOLES ON FIRE!
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Dawks
Jolly African Potato
Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 4,935
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Well written story and good thread title . I believe I was one those cactitioners that encouraged you in your last thread. It's defiantly, in my experience the best natural psychedelic.
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date ; unzip ; strip ; touch ; grep ; finger ; mount ; fsck ; more ; yes ; umount ; sleep
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