Home | Community | Message Board

Original Seeds Store
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   Kraken Kratom Kratom Capsules for Sale   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Original Sensible Seeds Bulk Cannabis Seeds   Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2 | Next >  [ show all ]
OfflineOverStoned
Tripper
Male


Registered: 04/18/10
Posts: 296
Loc: Dark Side of the Moon
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious * 1
    #16958666 - 10/03/12 12:39 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

I cold not resist sharing this.. this is the funniest article I have ever read.. too good to be true, however. I know many parents who are like this, though lol.

IS YOUR CHILD A COMPUTER HACKER?

Quote:

Author: T Reginald Gibbons.
Source: Adequacy.org archive

As an enlightened, modern parent, I try to be as involved as possible in the lives of my six children. I encourage them to join team sports. I attend their teen parties with them to ensure no drinking or alcohol is on the premises. I keep a fatherly eye on the CDs they listen to and the shows they watch, the company they keep and the books they read. You could say I'm a model parent. My children have never failed to make me proud, and I can say without the slightest embellishment that I have the finest family in the USA.

Two years ago, my wife Carol and I decided that our children's education would not be complete without some grounding in modern computers. To this end, we bought our children a brand new Compaq to learn with. The kids had a lot of fun using the handful of application programs we'd bought, such as Adobe's Photoshop and Microsoft's Word, and my wife and I were pleased that our gift was received so well. Our son Peter was most entranced by the device, and became quite a pro at surfing the net. When Peter began to spend whole days on the machine, I became concerned, but Carol advised me to calm down, and that it was only a passing phase. I was content to bow to her experience as a mother, until our youngest daughter, Cindy, charged into the living room one night to blurt out: "Peter is a computer hacker!"

As you can imagine, I was amazed. A computer hacker in my own house! I began to monitor my son's habits, to make certain that Cindy wasn't just telling stories, as she is prone to doing at times.

After a few days of investigation, and some research into computer hacking, I confronted Peter with the evidence. I'm afraid to say, this was the only time I have ever been truly disappointed in one of my children. We raised them to be honest and to have integrity, and Peter betrayed the principles we tried to encourage in him, when he refused point blank to admit to his activities. His denials continued for hours, and in the end, I was left with no choice but to ban him from using the computer until he is old enough to be responsible for his actions.

After going through this ordeal with my own family, I was left pondering how I could best help others in similar situations. I'd gained a lot of knowledge over those few days regarding hackers. It's only right that I provide that information to other parents, in the hope that they will be able to tell if their children are being drawn into the world of hacking. Perhaps other parents will be able to steer their sons back onto the straight and narrow before extreme measures need to be employed.

To this end, I have decided to publish the top ten signs that your son is a hacker. I advise any parents to read this list carefully and if their son matches the profile, they should take action. A smart parent will first try to reason with their son, before resorting to groundings, or even spanking. I pride myself that I have never had to spank a child, and I hope this guide will help other parents to put a halt to their son's misbehaviour before a spanking becomes necessary.

1. Has your son asked you to change ISPs?

Most American families use trusted and responsible Internet Service Providers, such as AOL. These providers have a strict "No Hacking" policy, and take careful measures to ensure that your internet experience is enjoyable, educational and above all legal. If your child is becoming a hacker, one of his first steps will be to request a change to a more hacker friendly provider.

I would advise all parents to refuse this request. One of the reasons your son is interested in switching providers is to get away from AOL's child safety filter. This filter is vital to any parent who wants his son to enjoy the internet without the endangering him through exposure to "adult" content. It is best to stick with the protection AOL provides, rather than using a home-based solution. If your son is becoming a hacker, he will be able to circumvent any home-based measures with surprising ease, using information gleaned from various hacker sites.

2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?

Your son will probably try to install some hacker software. He may attempt to conceal the presence of the software in some way, but you can usually find any new programs by reading through the programs listed under "Install/Remove Programs" in your control panel. Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".

The best option is to confront your son with the evidence, and force him to remove the offending programs. He will probably try to install the software again, but you will be able to tell that this is happening, if your machine offers to "download" one of the hacker applications. If this happens, it is time to give your son a stern talking to, and possibly consider punishing him with a grounding.

3. Has your child asked for new hardware?

Computer hackers are often limited by conventional computer hardware. They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory. If your son starts requesting these devices, it is possible that he has a legitimate need. You can best ensure that you are buying legal, trustworthy hardware by only buying replacement parts from your computer's manufacturer.

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

4. Does your child read hacking manuals?

If you pay close attention to your son's reading habits, as I do, you will be able to determine a great deal about his opinions and hobbies. Children are at their most impressionable in the teenage years. Any father who has had a seventeen year old daughter attempt to sneak out on a date wearing make up and perfume is well aware of the effect that improper influences can have on inexperienced minds.

There are, unfortunately, many hacking manuals available in bookshops today. A few titles to be on the lookout for are: "Snow Crash" and "Cryptonomicon" by Neal Stephenson; "Neuromancer" by William Gibson; "Programming with Perl" by Timothy O'Reilly; "Geeks" by Jon Katz; "The Hacker Crackdown" by Bruce Sterling; "Microserfs" by Douglas Coupland; "Hackers" by Steven Levy; and "The Cathedral and the Bazaar" by Eric S. Raymond.

If you find any of these hacking manuals in your child's possession, confiscate them immediately. You should also petition local booksellers to remove these titles from their shelves. You may meet with some resistance at first, but even booksellers have to bow to community pressure.

5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?

If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services. This can take up to eight hours. If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately. The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day.

6. Does your son use Quake?

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.

7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour?

As a child enters the electronic world of hacking, he may become disaffected with the real world. He may lose the ability to control his actions, or judge the rightness or wrongness of a course of behaviour. This will manifest itself soonest in the way he treats others. Those whom he disagrees with will be met with scorn, bitterness, and even foul language. He may utter threats of violence of a real or electronic nature.

Even when confronted, your son will probably find it difficult to talk about this problem to you. He will probably claim that there is no problem, and that you are imagining things. He may tell you that it is you who has the problem, and you should "back off" and "stop smothering him." Do not allow yourself to be deceived. You are the only chance your son has, even if he doesn't understand the situation he is in. Keep trying to get through to him, no matter how much he retreats into himself.

8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?

BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.

Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.

If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.

9. Has your son radically changed his appearance?

If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences.

10. Is your son struggling academically?

If your son is failing courses in school, or performing poorly on sports teams, he may be involved in a hacking group, such as the infamous "Otaku" hacker association. Excessive time spent on the computer, communicating with his fellow hackers may cause temporary damage to the eyes and brain, from the electromagnetic radiation. This will cause his marks to slip dramatically, particularly in difficult subjects such as Math, and Chemistry. In extreme cases, over-exposure to computer radiation can cause schizophrenia, meningitis and other psychological diseases. Also, the reduction in exercise may cause him to lose muscle mass, and even to start gaining weight. For the sake of your child's mental and physical health, you must put a stop to his hacking, and limit his computer time drastically.

I encourage all parents to read through this guide carefully. Your child's future may depend upon it. Hacking is an illegal and dangerous activity, that may land your child in prison, and tear your family apart. It cannot be taken too seriously.




BEWARE THE LUNIX! :lolsy:


--------------------
  IT'S ALL TOO MUCH

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJohnnieYen
Okay
I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 3,529
Loc: City Z
Re: Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious [Re: OverStoned] * 5
    #16958674 - 10/03/12 12:41 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

:woooaaahhh: not LUNIX!!


--------------------
[center

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineAbsent Minded
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/13/12
Posts: 3,300
Loc: Way Down South Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 4 days
Re: Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious [Re: JohnnieYen]
    #16958811 - 10/03/12 01:07 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

omg, brilliant. first paragraph...fucking HATE parents like that. So glad my parents never tried pulling that shit... thankfully they believe in giving something called SPACE and allowing a child to grow without constant fucking supervision. all that does is make the kids want to go nuts even more when parents aren't around.

Lunix - LOL:rofl2:

Hacker clothing made me laugh as well.

oh god.


--------------------


Beats
More Beats

sheekle: fuck peace love and unity
sheekle: death despair and misery
sheekle: is where it's at

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJohnnieYen
Okay
I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 3,529
Loc: City Z
Re: Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious [Re: Absent Minded]
    #16958832 - 10/03/12 01:12 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

My mom thinks I'm a hacker cause I can find things really fast using google. Lol

Well, considering she waits for me to come change the clocks at daylight savings. She is very technologically inept


--------------------
[center

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleDeadkndys420
The Psychedelic Messiah
 User Gallery


Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 4,405
Loc: In the land of ooo
Re: Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious [Re: JohnnieYen]
    #16958853 - 10/03/12 01:16 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

I lol'd so hard at this.


--------------------
Almond Flour said:
Thats right. I take it up the ass on a daily. It feels great to finally let this out :gay:

How to use PGP encryption
The Stoner's Cookbook

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinesun_spots
Good boob day
 User Gallery


Registered: 02/27/10
Posts: 14,306
Loc: Nirvana
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious [Re: Deadkndys420]
    #16959083 - 10/03/12 02:05 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

:lolsy:  Holy shit, you guys, we're all hackers!


--------------------
ShiVersblood said:
shut ur fucking mouth. before a penis is are be enters

LordSenate said:
Cheese poop... Who gives a fuck gotta eat lots of cheese.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineAbsent Minded
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/13/12
Posts: 3,300
Loc: Way Down South Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 4 days
Re: Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious [Re: Absent Minded]
    #16959171 - 10/03/12 02:19 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

My buddy actually knows how to hack proper, it's pretty impressive stuff.
He's majoring in something computer related, and I'll go into his room when he's doing homework, and it's always just coding, and he just sits there typing this shit out like it's nothing, and I have not a clue what ANY of it is. haha.


--------------------


Beats
More Beats

sheekle: fuck peace love and unity
sheekle: death despair and misery
sheekle: is where it's at

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineNizzyJones
Fight evil with funk
Male User Gallery

Registered: 08/22/06
Posts: 2,082
Loc: Somewhere North of Normal
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
Re: Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious [Re: OverStoned]
    #16959329 - 10/03/12 02:44 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Worst. AOL ad. Ever.


--------------------
Wildflower seed on the sand and stone, may the four winds blow you safely home
Curriculum vapidum (dry herb vapes)

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleSalomon
ಠ︵ಠ balance ಠ_ಠ weaver ಠ‿ಠ
Male
Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 25,128
Loc: America, FUCK YEAH Flag
Re: Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious [Re: Absent Minded]
    #16959336 - 10/03/12 02:45 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

damn script kiddies:shakefist:


--------------------
EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinegoodVibes
Leggo Beast
Female

Registered: 07/06/12
Posts: 138
Loc: FL
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
Re: Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious [Re: Salomon]
    #16959411 - 10/03/12 02:56 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

:lol: I actually know parents like this.


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleDeadkndys420
The Psychedelic Messiah
 User Gallery


Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 4,405
Loc: In the land of ooo
Re: Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious [Re: Absent Minded]
    #16959457 - 10/03/12 03:04 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Absent Minded said:
My buddy actually knows how to hack proper, it's pretty impressive stuff.
He's majoring in something computer related, and I'll go into his room when he's doing homework, and it's always just coding, and he just sits there typing this shit out like it's nothing, and I have not a clue what ANY of it is. haha.



The closest thing I came to hacking is having idiots download a keylogger lol.


--------------------
Almond Flour said:
Thats right. I take it up the ass on a daily. It feels great to finally let this out :gay:

How to use PGP encryption
The Stoner's Cookbook

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineAbsent Minded
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/13/12
Posts: 3,300
Loc: Way Down South Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 4 days
Re: Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious [Re: Absent Minded]
    #16959470 - 10/03/12 03:07 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

hahaha not bad. I wouldn't even know how to do that.
Hacking pretty interesting stuff, he told me he could teach me, but IDK if I even want to know. haha.


--------------------


Beats
More Beats

sheekle: fuck peace love and unity
sheekle: death despair and misery
sheekle: is where it's at

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinemazaloto


Registered: 06/10/12
Posts: 969
Last seen: 11 years, 12 hours
Re: Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious [Re: Absent Minded]
    #16960012 - 10/03/12 04:29 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

lol at all the people who took this seriously

C'mon its an obvious joke :lol:


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMilkdudTitties
My Nipples Look Like Milk Duds
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/22/09
Posts: 3,796
Loc: USA
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious [Re: mazaloto] * 2
    #16960580 - 10/03/12 05:46 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

so dressing like a 90's raver means your a hacker?:lolsy:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblefunegi
Stranger
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 1,063
Loc: lat: right, long: hi
Re: Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious [Re: MilkdudTitties]
    #16960797 - 10/03/12 06:13 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

MilkdudTitties said:
so dressing like a 90's raver means your a hacker?:lolsy:



yes. yes it does. you only used that gif so people will think its ridiculous and thus leave 90 raver dressed kids alone (so they can continue their hacking un-harrased)
these days kids learn computing stuff WAY earlier. my 16mos. nephew had a pacifier around his neck!! i had to share this article w/his parents to wise them the fuck up!

Edited by funegi (10/03/12 06:16 PM)

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinePashroomer96
Stranger

Registered: 09/11/12
Posts: 122
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
Re: Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious [Re: OverStoned]
    #16961007 - 10/03/12 06:44 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

These are exactly the parents that literally PUSH their kids into drinking and drugs and all that shit. This kid i know that had parents like this just got so curious as to why the suffocated him with their rules and curfews and started doing drugs and drinking. I would bet that 100% of these types of parents have severe undiagnosed ocd. Thanks for sharing i laughed my ass off!

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineCplus
Stranger
Registered: 06/18/12
Posts: 1
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
Re: Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious [Re: funegi]
    #16962051 - 10/03/12 09:34 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

I attend their teen parties with them to ensure no drinking or alcohol is on the premises.




I would totally spike the bowl of fruit punch with MDMA lmao.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineOverStoned
Tripper
Male


Registered: 04/18/10
Posts: 296
Loc: Dark Side of the Moon
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Re: Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious [Re: Cplus]
    #16966752 - 10/04/12 05:03 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

anyone can be a hacker :P
hackertyper.net

just choose some settings, smash keyboard, and look like ur hacking! xD


--------------------
  IT'S ALL TOO MUCH

Edited by OverStoned (10/04/12 05:04 PM)

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMilkdudTitties
My Nipples Look Like Milk Duds
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/22/09
Posts: 3,796
Loc: USA
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious [Re: OverStoned]
    #16968178 - 10/04/12 08:37 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

1337 haxorz

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineSoldier of Fortune
The Walkin' Dude

Registered: 12/15/11
Posts: 684
Loc: UK Council Estate
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Re: Is Your Child Computer Hacker?!?! Hilarious [Re: MilkdudTitties]
    #16970122 - 10/05/12 06:14 AM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Oh man, please tell me this is real?

This is some funny shit.


--------------------
Congratulations, you are one step closer to hitting bottom.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2 | Next >  [ show all ]

Shop: North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   Kraken Kratom Kratom Capsules for Sale   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Original Sensible Seeds Bulk Cannabis Seeds   Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* ARGH! (aka help me with computer problem) Thin White Duke 633 1 04/29/05 03:19 AM
by fresh313
* How to speed up my computer?? Toddo 1,669 17 05/12/05 04:49 AM
by ummikko
* The Conscience of a Hacker, aka "The Hacker's Manifesto" trendalM 2,018 19 03/04/05 06:46 PM
by delta9
* Gamers...Can u help me figure how to run/install a game DeadPhan 1,576 10 04/22/05 08:36 AM
by Turd
* Sometimes I fight with my computer. Little Shroom 2,263 17 07/24/03 03:45 PM
by oDin
* anyone here good with computers? k2nride 1,070 10 08/20/04 02:30 AM
by Charles
* The computer worm that wouldn't die... TheShroomHermit 877 5 02/18/04 03:34 PM
by Mitchnast
* question about the F.B.I and computers
( 1 2 all )
Fucknuckle 2,750 31 08/12/04 11:24 PM
by Fucknuckle

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Entire Staff
2,111 topic views. 6 members, 24 guests and 111 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.032 seconds spending 0.009 seconds on 16 queries.