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Adden
Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
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Being a gentleman &tc.
#16895430 - 09/23/12 02:41 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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So boys and girls.
Gentlemen:
- Single, dating, married, or other?
- Do you hold doors for ladies? Everyone? No one?
- Pull chairs out for them at a table? Holidays / formal only?
- If so how long? Early dating stage only? Always?
- Why should I bother?
Ladies:
- Single, dating, married, or other?
- Last time a gent opened a door / held one for you?
- Pulled out your seat at dinner?
- Wish more men did this?
- Other things you consider gentleman-like?
- Don't care.
Also, where do you live? City / suburb / rural / other.
Rural here, married, still do this stuff for my wife, hold doors for men/women alike any occasion, see a lot of it out here now but not so much growing up.
To the point -
Is chivalry dead?
Cheers.
D
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,697
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Re: Being a gentleman &tc. [Re: Adden]
#16895494 - 09/23/12 03:03 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Being a gentleman doesn't have much to do with holding doors or pulling chairs for people. It's about making people feel comfortable and at ease around yourself, in an elegant, polite manner.
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Adden
Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
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Re: Being a gentleman &tc. [Re: koraks]
#16895497 - 09/23/12 03:04 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Very much agreed but am curious Of social practices and the settings in which they are or are not applied.
A+ post tho.
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thoughts
imagining.
Registered: 10/06/07
Posts: 16,816
Loc: here.
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Re: Being a gentleman &tc. [Re: koraks]
#16895502 - 09/23/12 03:05 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Chivalry isn't dead, it's hiding thanks to the girls that mock it or simply don't appreciate it.
-------------------- I need Jesus.
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,697
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Re: Being a gentleman &tc. [Re: Adden]
#16895503 - 09/23/12 03:06 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Thanks - so to answer your question: I sometimes hold doors (about half the time, maybe) for people, but I rarely pull chairs. I don't consider myself a full-time gentleman though
Quote:
iwasaClown said: Chivalry isn't dead, it's hiding thanks to the girls that mock it or simply don't appreciate it.
While funny, it's a lame excuse: a gentleman is chivalrous despite his company being un-gentlemanly
Edited by koraks (09/23/12 03:07 AM)
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R
Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,331
Loc: subtropics
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Re: Being a gentleman &tc. [Re: Adden]
#16895513 - 09/23/12 03:11 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Single and dating
I hold doors open for anyone that I go in front of most of the time, always ladies if possible. Some seem annoyed though.
I pull chairs out most of the time, sometimes it is not convenient.
Koraks you are right.
There was a Bullshit show on manners. It was very good. Check it out!
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thoughts
imagining.
Registered: 10/06/07
Posts: 16,816
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Re: Being a gentleman &tc. [Re: koraks]
#16895527 - 09/23/12 03:16 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Yeah, a stupid gentleman with no balls. Why would you keep opening doors and stuff if the lady reacts negatively towards it?
-------------------- I need Jesus.
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damnnation
Monsieur Rêve
Registered: 09/20/04
Posts: 1,583
Loc: Paris
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Re: Being a gentleman &tc. [Re: Adden] 2
#16895534 - 09/23/12 03:17 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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I'm single. I always hold door for anyone. I make sure there's no one behind in stores or whatnot otherwise I hold the door. I don't really pull chairs, but I do stand up when a lady arrives or leaves though (only in formal setting) I always let my seat for elder people in public transports, always ask if people need help carrying luggage up stairs at a train station, let women out/in before myself etc etc.
And I don't do such things just because I want to fuck someone.
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Dudeyourgone
Gone...
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Married. I hold doors for everyone. But..if they dont say thank you i loudly say YOUR WELCOME! Like a smartass.
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,697
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Re: Being a gentleman &tc. [Re: thoughts]
#16895605 - 09/23/12 04:00 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
iwasaClown said: Why would you keep opening doors and stuff if the lady reacts negatively towards it?
I think a true gentleman will do good, regardless of others appreciating it This is also the point where the dark side of the gentleman shows, I think. It's a bit like taking a cat with an inflamed paw to the vet. The cat will struggle and resist, but it's all for its own good in the end. So if you look at the cat owner as the gentleman, does that mean that a gentleman will place himself above the people around him? I think in many cases, there is this risk.
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damnnation
Monsieur Rêve
Registered: 09/20/04
Posts: 1,583
Loc: Paris
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Re: Being a gentleman &tc. [Re: thoughts]
#16895625 - 09/23/12 04:10 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
iwasaClown said: Why would you keep opening doors and stuff if the lady reacts negatively towards it?
I find it really weird when old people refuse my help to carry heavy bags up 20 stairs, yet I'll still ask the next person just in case they would like my help. If my girlfriend would tell me to actually stop opening doors for her, I guess I'd stop but I'd find it weird and I'd probably keep on doing it since I'm so used to it. (I don't consider myself a gentlemen btw, I just do what seems right)
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thoughts
imagining.
Registered: 10/06/07
Posts: 16,816
Loc: here.
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Re: Being a gentleman &tc. [Re: koraks]
#16895626 - 09/23/12 04:11 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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I understand your point and it is a good point.
But what happens when the girl leaves you for the asshole? Your cat has run away.
-------------------- I need Jesus.
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Adden
Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc:
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Re: Being a gentleman &tc. [Re: thoughts]
#16895632 - 09/23/12 04:14 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
iwasaClown said: But what happens when the girl leaves you for the asshole? Your cat has ran away.
Either way you end up with no pussy.
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Buster_Brown
L'une
Registered: 09/17/11
Posts: 11,607
Last seen: 1 hour, 15 minutes
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Re: Being a gentleman &tc. [Re: Adden]
#16895641 - 09/23/12 04:20 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Ever see an instance where the guy gets out of the car then runs around to the other side to open the passenger door for the girl? What's up with that?
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,697
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Re: Being a gentleman &tc. [Re: thoughts]
#16895643 - 09/23/12 04:20 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Dystopia said: Either way you end up with no pussy.
Quote:
iwasaClown said: But what happens when the girl leaves you for the asshole?
One of several things: - the asshole may prove not to be an asshole, but just someone you experience competition from and therefore you think he's an asshole (while in fact, he's very much like you, hence your girl running to him) - you'll conclude that since your girl is into assholes, you're not into this girl - she has bad taste - you shrug it off and head to your next adventure; after all, relationships are like milk: they tend to go off.
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thoughts
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Registered: 10/06/07
Posts: 16,816
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Re: Being a gentleman &tc. [Re: Adden]
#16895648 - 09/23/12 04:23 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Ha.
All i'm trying to say is if the girl responds well to those gestures, then i'll definitely shower her with them. But if she's not into that stuff, then it's her loss. I'm not gonna waste my energy.
-------------------- I need Jesus.
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,697
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Re: Being a gentleman &tc. [Re: thoughts]
#16895653 - 09/23/12 04:26 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Sure, no use beating a dead horse. But to be honest, I never ran into a person whom I held a door for/carried luggage for/whatever and who proceeded to say "fuck off". People tend to just say "thanks" and smile. So it's a bit of a hypothetical debate anyway, isn't it?
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Adden
Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc:
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Quote:
Buster_Brown said: Ever see an instance where the guy gets out of the car then runs around to the other side to open the passenger door for the girl? What's up with that?
The only times I can think of having done that were when I was noobsauce, or when we're in formal wear and it's raining.
Easy for me to take a wet jacket off at an event after holding an umbrella.
Easier to get her dress off when you get home, too.
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damnnation
Monsieur Rêve
Registered: 09/20/04
Posts: 1,583
Loc: Paris
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Re: Being a gentleman &tc. [Re: Adden]
#16895662 - 09/23/12 04:31 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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has anyone laid their jacket over a rain puddle so a lady won't have to walk on it?
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thoughts
imagining.
Registered: 10/06/07
Posts: 16,816
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Re: Being a gentleman &tc. [Re: koraks]
#16895665 - 09/23/12 04:34 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Haha, no, of course they won't blatanly say "fuck off". They'll give you the fart face or a nervous laugh or something. Some girls just get weirded out because they're not used to that.
-------------------- I need Jesus.
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