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ryanmcfly
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Registered: 06/27/10
Posts: 39
Last seen: 11 years, 11 months
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mild hppd - will it go away?
#15830600 - 02/19/12 02:31 AM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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i know, i know this topic has been done to death, but i got hppd a few months ago today from over doing shrooms last yr. the last trip which caused it was intense, wasnt a bad trip, but i would label it as ego death. 3days later out of nowhere i feel into a psychosis for 8days, the worst experience of my life. my symptons have included
after images (this only lasted a few weeks) coloured metalic static vision (only noticable when looking up at the sky or at night time) shadows have a slight movement to them (this has been decreasing over time) breathing of detailed walls/white walls
i would like to stress that my case it quite mild so im trying to get in touch with people who have had similar cases and if they experienced a return to normal. i know everyone is difference but some guidence would be nice.
i cant smoke weed as it just makes me really anxious and sends me into a panic attack, which sucks as i love weed, i hope over time this will change. my visuals dont seem to get any more though, its just my head space.
alcohol doesnt seem to do anything so i can still enjoy the odd drink from time to time......but i would rather it be weed haha
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404
error
Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: mild hppd - will it go away? [Re: ryanmcfly]
#15830620 - 02/19/12 02:46 AM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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In my experience, the effects come and go. I have learned to control myself when they come, and embrace them. Visual anomalies are interesting, and never last more than 2 minutes in duration.
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ryanmcfly
Stranger
Registered: 06/27/10
Posts: 39
Last seen: 11 years, 11 months
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Re: mild hppd - will it go away? [Re: 404]
#15830626 - 02/19/12 02:52 AM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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how long u had ur hppd for?
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Comradez
stargazer
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Re: mild hppd - will it go away? [Re: ryanmcfly]
#15830667 - 02/19/12 03:22 AM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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The visual aspect of hppd will asymptotically decrease over time, in my experience.
For a while I had aliasing artifacts like the tower on the right in this image:
if I looked at closely striped patterns with large contrasts. (The worst offenders in this respect were always those metal doormat grates that a lot of buildings have at their entrances, where there's close striping of bright silver metal against black felt). Edit: Oh yeah, this right here is the kind of thing I'm talking about.
Even as I look at it right now on my computer screen, the lines are dancing back and forth, moving like two conveyors, with the bottom part wanting to go to the left, and the top part of the lines wanting to run off to the right. And the whole thing is rippling too).
Some carpet patterns would also crawl a bit, and the pavement in the center of my vision on the road as I was riding my bike would seem to tunnel into the distance like when you use the "Quake Pro" video setting in Minecraft:
But these have all asymptotically decreased to near nothing again, even while continuing intermittent psychedelic use. (For some reason it seems to me that some trips create more HPPD aftermath than others, even when controlling for dosage or exact chemical...although lysergamides tend to create more HPPD than tryptamines, in my experience).
In any case, I always thought this HPPD was pretty neat when I'd get it, and now I'll usually make a point of trying to get it going again if I run across a neat carpet pattern...usually to little avail now, though. The only HPPD that I ever found uncomfortable was the metal doormat aliasing if a particularly bright morning sun was shining on it; it would kind of give me a momentary headache looking at it.
As for "headspace" after-effects...hard to say if those ever really go away. I mean, stuff like that is so difficult for one to judge about oneself. I do think that doing salvia permanently alters any and all subsequent classical psychedelic trips, and classical psychedelic trips alter any and all subsequent weed experiences in subtle ways...there are patterns of thinking and pathways that get opened up that are difficult to forget again.
Edited by Comradez (02/19/12 03:35 AM)
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ryanmcfly
Stranger
Registered: 06/27/10
Posts: 39
Last seen: 11 years, 11 months
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Re: mild hppd - will it go away? [Re: Comradez]
#15830689 - 02/19/12 03:34 AM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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yeah i totally agree. weed just doesnt seem the same anymore. it actually feels like a slight mushroom trip, i just go into that kind of headspace on it atm. sometimes its just a normal stoned, but mostly seems to go deeper than that, so ive put down the bong. it really saddens me cause i fucking love weed, but thats just the way it is and i accept it.
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404
error
Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: mild hppd - will it go away? [Re: ryanmcfly]
#15830727 - 02/19/12 03:53 AM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
ryanmcfly said: how long u had ur hppd for?
I am 23 years old today, going on 24. I first took shrooms at 21, so just shortly after my first trip. Be real easy with these substances.
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ryanmcfly
Stranger
Registered: 06/27/10
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Last seen: 11 years, 11 months
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Re: mild hppd - will it go away? [Re: 404]
#15830777 - 02/19/12 04:57 AM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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when it comes and goes whats yours like at its worst?
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ryanmcfly
Stranger
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Last seen: 11 years, 11 months
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Re: mild hppd - will it go away? [Re: 404]
#15830779 - 02/19/12 04:59 AM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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yeah unfortunatley i really over did shrooms last yr, hence my case of hppd, but im done with tripping. i hanvt touched anything in 3months, a little bit of weed, but thats it. my tripping days are over thats for sure.....cause im tripping all the time now.
another question i have for u or anyone else that comes along this thread is would it be abnormal for my symptons to get worse? i mean for 3months now they have been declining, i mean i shouldnt fear at all that they can get worse for not apparent reason? as long as i steer clear from mind altering substances?
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Dawks
Jolly African Potato
Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 4,935
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Re: mild hppd - will it go away? [Re: ryanmcfly]
#15830895 - 02/19/12 06:33 AM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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It should subside man. My personal theory, regarding HPPD, is that that brain sort of learns to compensate for visuals when you're tripping. Then when you're not tripping it seems like you're getting visuals. Over time, if you don't trip as frequently, your brain should start learning to compensate for its overcompensation and everything should start to return to normal.
It'll be difficult, in future, to tell what is HPPD and what is just normal optical illusions. For instance, I experience the moving bars effect Comradez described. Thing is, I know for a FACT that I was seeing this illusion before I ever used psychedelics.
An acquaintance of mine said to me once, "man, when the car stops moving it looks like the road is still moving, I got HPPD man". This is a common optical illusion, yet because he's read all about HPPD he assumes that everything he sees is caused by it.
I'll tell you what, once I was sitting in the dentist waiting area, and they had this fantastic speckled carpet. As I looked at it, it would morph into all sorts of trippy shapes that were really quite spectacular. I couldn't help but to feel sorry for those other people in the waiting room, reading magazines, seemingly unaware of the splendor of the simple design on the carpet.
Maybe it's not so bad after all?
But I digress. I can speak from experience in saying that yes, symptoms, or at least perceived symptoms of HPPD decrease over time, especially with abstinence. The best thing to do is just to enjoy who you are and how YOU see things.
Play robot unicorn attack for a while, then look at an object in your room. WOAH, look at it go.
--------------------
date ; unzip ; strip ; touch ; grep ; finger ; mount ; fsck ; more ; yes ; umount ; sleep
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JacksonMetaller
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Re: mild hppd - will it go away? [Re: Dawks]
#15831381 - 02/19/12 09:28 AM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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just curious, how often were you tripping? from most of the reports i read it seems that it tends to go away but with heavy use it usually takes longer, like a year or so.
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joemolloy
DMT is Bullshit
Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 6,525
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Re: mild hppd - will it go away? [Re: ryanmcfly]
#15831425 - 02/19/12 09:43 AM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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An eight day psychosis three days after the trip? I haven't heard of something like that. Usually the trip turns into a psychosis that can last from anywhere from a few days to much longer. So for three days you were sober and then what happened? What were those symptoms like? Did you get medical treatment?
When I was teen, I slipped into a psychosis for over a week after some LSD use. Haven't had any kind of mental illness before that or since. But I also never had any HPPD either. During that week and a half, I was textbook delusional and schizophrenic. Doctors were useless. Miserable shit. Stay away from weed.
-------------------- Don't PM me with bullshit. I don't sell or trade cactus and I don't know where you can get any, other than your mother's ass.
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Dawks
Jolly African Potato
Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 4,935
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Re: mild hppd - will it go away? [Re: joemolloy]
#15831458 - 02/19/12 09:56 AM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
joemolloy said: When I was teen, I slipped into a psychosis for over a week after some LSD use. Haven't had any kind of mental illness before that or since. But I also never had any HPPD either. During that week and a half, I was textbook delusional and schizophrenic. Doctors were useless. Miserable shit. Stay away from weed.
Not to derail OP too much, but could you tell us more about that?
Was it a one off LSD dose that brought on the psychosis, or had you been tripping for days straight/redosing? What were your exact psychotic/schizophrenic symptoms (as in negative and positive symptoms)? did the doctors give you any anti-psychotics or did you have to ride it out on your own. That sounds absolutely hellish. I bet it shocked you out of tripping, for a while.
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date ; unzip ; strip ; touch ; grep ; finger ; mount ; fsck ; more ; yes ; umount ; sleep
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tokinman21
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Re: mild hppd - will it go away? [Re: Dawks]
#15831488 - 02/19/12 10:04 AM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Dawks said:
Quote:
joemolloy said: When I was teen, I slipped into a psychosis for over a week after some LSD use. Haven't had any kind of mental illness before that or since. But I also never had any HPPD either. During that week and a half, I was textbook delusional and schizophrenic. Doctors were useless. Miserable shit. Stay away from weed.
Not to derail OP too much, but could you tell us more about that?
Was it a one off LSD dose that brought on the psychosis, or had you been tripping for days straight/redosing? What were your exact psychotic/schizophrenic symptoms (as in negative and positive symptoms)? did the doctors give you any anti-psychotics or did you have to ride it out on your own. That sounds absolutely hellish. I bet it shocked you out of tripping, for a while.
Yeah, I'd really like to know more about that too. I feel like I narrowly avoided that, myself, and I feel very blessed.
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joemolloy
DMT is Bullshit
Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 6,525
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Re: mild hppd - will it go away? [Re: Dawks]
#15831508 - 02/19/12 10:10 AM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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I had a sheet of acid that I was eating once or twice a week. I had a pretty good tolerance and one Saturday night I took a bunch of hits and some valium. Great night in Manhattan, one of the best, but by noon the next day the trip was still going strong. Eventually I went home to mom and dad and I think the pain of them seeing me so fucked up helped push me over the edge. Before that, I was a machine, I was untouchable, I was Ferris Bueller, I had all of my friends tripping out all the time and I was always at the top of my game and everyone knew it. Everyone came to me for advice, everyone looked up to me as the model drug-user and the lucky one. Well, I fucked up and I knew it and that was the trauma that pushed me over the edge. At least that is my interpretation of what happened.
I got all delusional where newspaper articles and television programs were thinly veiled messages about me and to me. I read all sorts of subliminal messages into everything. Lots of crying and fear. I thought I'd be a retard for the rest of my life. We went to a bunch of doctors and I was talking about satan and God and all sorts of wacky shit. They thought I was faking it! My parents took off work until I got better and my mom talked to me and coaxed me out of it. I didn't touch anything all through my 20s. Good thing, that was a productive decade for me.
-------------------- Don't PM me with bullshit. I don't sell or trade cactus and I don't know where you can get any, other than your mother's ass.
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King Klick
That Guy Everyone Knows
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Re: mild hppd - will it go away? [Re: tokinman21]
#15831513 - 02/19/12 10:12 AM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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Bump. I'm curious to.
-------------------- Your god is dead, and I killed him. When you’re lost, here I am. Forever with your soul
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leafing
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Re: mild hppd - will it go away? [Re: King Klick]
#15831615 - 02/19/12 10:36 AM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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EVENTUALLY... BUT NOT REALLY
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404
error
Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: mild hppd - will it go away? [Re: ryanmcfly]
#15831714 - 02/19/12 11:07 AM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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Well after i did about 250 mics of lsd, it got fairly intense, or at least moreso than usual. colors and walls would breathe, i remember this happening after waking up one morning. this may not be the only thing you experience, you may also have slight adjustments in mood.
it's been since last september since i took i high enough dose of anything that caused me to trip, I've microdosed twice on mushrooms since then, but nothing really worth mentioning. my symptoms haven't come around lately.
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ITLIEDTOME
Enlighten Me
Registered: 02/15/12
Posts: 21
Loc: I am here, I am There. I ...
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Re: mild hppd - will it go away? [Re: 404]
#15831730 - 02/19/12 11:11 AM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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your hppd will never really go away.
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Freyja
High Priest of his own madness
Registered: 09/03/11
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Re: mild hppd - will it go away? [Re: ITLIEDTOME]
#15832012 - 02/19/12 12:30 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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It should pass or at least subside with time. Lay off the psychedelics for a while and ease up on the herb you'll be fine. Just have to give your brain some time with a clear head space. I used to have similar symptoms when I was in my early 20's. I could lay in my back yard at night and see patterns on the sky, but that went away. Id get aliasing like Comradz talked about and rainbows around lights, walls breathing and straight lines would bend slightly for a second. I still get the rainbows around lights but everything else has gone away.
-------------------- The future did not look good for Schrodingers cat. one shroom, two shroom, green shroom ... wait how did that get there?
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tokinman21
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Re: mild hppd - will it go away? [Re: ITLIEDTOME]
#15832141 - 02/19/12 01:01 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
ITLIEDTOME said:
your hppd will never really go away.
Tag-line "the truth" under your name, picture insinuating that the supposedly perfect drugs aren't actually perfect, blah blah blah. Quit telling yourself you won't get better and quit thinking about it and eventually you'll get better.
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