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LeViTY
I missed theark.
Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 1,988
Loc: CA
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I'm ready to die.
#1556448 - 05/17/03 03:41 PM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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I have no idea how I am living right now. The love of my life is in the hospital; with a 50/50 chance of surviving through his possible surgery. He is in so much pain, the painshots aren't working and the doctors won't even let him drink water. If he dies, I will die. I have no question in my mind that I will kill myself...
I am not doing this for attention, I just am so confused. I can't see a reason to live.
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RebelSteve33
Amateur Mycologist
Registered: 05/28/02
Posts: 3,774
Loc: Arizona
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Re: I'm ready to die. [Re: LeViTY]
#1556492 - 05/17/03 04:02 PM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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I'm so sorry you're going through this tough situation, Levity! I've never dealt with anything quite so bad, and I can't even imagine what you must feel like.
However, I have made a comment identical to this one you made, though:
If he dies, I will die. I have no question in my mind that I will kill myself...
I just want to say that even though you might truly want to do this; it is not the right thing to do. Think about it. Would the love of your life want you to kill yourself for his sake? I think the answer is unequivocally no.
You may feel like you could not live without him, but remember that we are here in this world to live for no one but ourselves. You survived and lived life before you met this love of your life, so why would you throw that all away just because he is gone???
Killing yourself because someone you love dies is like cheating on life. Death is a natural part of life, and it is something that we, unfortunately, have to go through and somehow find a way to deal with.
I sincerely hope that everything turns out all right with his surgery, and you can be sure that he and you will be in my thoughts. Stay strong, Levity! It sounds like your love needs you to be his strength right now. And try to remember that a life without him is still worth living. He can never truly be gone from your life anyway--at least not in spirit.
Good luck! And remember to smile... It can never hurt!
Peace,
RebelSteve
-------------------- Namaste.
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FreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada
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i was going to make a post but anything i could say would pale in comparison.....wise words man. Levity, pls take what RS has said to <3
-------------------- "Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"
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Anonymous #1
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Post deleted by Papaver [Re: LeViTY]
#1556726 - 05/17/03 07:35 PM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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Ripple
Ripple
Registered: 05/16/02
Posts: 21,014
Loc: the timbers of Fennario
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Re: I'm ready to die. [Re: ]
#1556749 - 05/17/03 07:53 PM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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Have Faith............
-------------------- The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!
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ArmFromTheAbyss
Old Hand
Registered: 10/09/02
Posts: 1,368
Loc: Down here in Babylon
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Re: I'm ready to die. [Re: LeViTY]
#1557063 - 05/17/03 10:21 PM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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Right now I'm sending love to you and HB.
--------------------
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Thor
Anti-Theist OVERLORD
Registered: 08/12/98
Posts: 10,017
Loc: Iceland
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Re: I'm ready to die. [Re: LeViTY]
#1557314 - 05/18/03 01:58 AM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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Wow, I'm so sad to read your pain.
I know often times some people feel utterly desperate and that death seems like a fine way to end it.
I can not speak on it other than through what I've experienced in my life. I've had my mother die from cancer, my dad lose his leg in a horrible accident 6 months after my mom died, my oldest sister be diagnosed with breast cancer 2 days after my mom died, my youngest sister suffer 2 brain aneurisms and become permanently disabled for the rest of her life.
I've lost 2 best friends, over 10 friends in passing, and seen a lot of bad things happen in my 29 years.
In many points I've felt total and utter despair during the darkest moments.. But you know what, no matter how bad things get, they always get better and years later you wonder how you could have felt so desperate because life does offer you so much hope and good fortune.
People suffer, we all suffer greatly, but there is always something to live for and the toughest times are always situations where things will most definately get better and things most definately are worth living for.
I just think that during difficult times we all put on blinders and only see the bad and that eventually those blinders go away and we see just how valuable life and living it well is.
I mean think just simply if your former loved ones (those who died) would see us give up 'willingly' when they had to leave this astral plane without a choice! They would kick our asses for that, cause life is a gift and we should never ever consider ending it intentionally.
We have to live our life for those who had no choice in the matter.. Choosing death is not an option, we choose life because there is no better alternative.
Pain is fleeting, suffering is fleeting, life is forever.
Keep your chin up, things will always get better. Like Python said; "Always look on the bright side of life"
Much love, Thor..
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Peaceful_Nomad
On the Path ofthe Feather
Registered: 06/23/02
Posts: 447
Loc: Sometimes Kansas - Maybe ...
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Re: I'm ready to die. [Re: LeViTY]
#1558075 - 05/18/03 03:46 PM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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Hang in there!
In the darkest of hours, heavens stars shine the brightest.
Peace to You and HB,
Peaceful Nomad
--------------------
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GringoLoco
I spit in theface of peoplewho ain't cool.
Registered: 10/08/01
Posts: 6,118
Loc: Monterey, CA
Last seen: 15 years, 25 days
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Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all....
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Anonymous #1
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Re: I'm ready to die. [Re: GringoLoco]
#1559845 - 05/19/03 11:20 AM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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not true.. i was quite content before i loved.
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KOPELANDIAA
Stranger
Registered: 11/17/01
Posts: 805
Loc: under a pine
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Re: I'm ready to die. [Re: ]
#1560017 - 05/19/03 12:34 PM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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please don't waste this wonderfull gift that consciousness is...and don't forget all those people that love you too...courage !
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SuperSpun
Not quite surewhat happened
Registered: 03/10/03
Posts: 625
Loc: India
Last seen: 20 years, 9 months
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I am always ready to die. Fuck Ya.
-------------------- Not quite sure what happened
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Strumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
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Re: I'm ready to die. [Re: SuperSpun]
#1560415 - 05/19/03 02:51 PM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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hey this is a serious thread, superspun....... what is your intention?
Levity, hang in there - if you kill yourself we'll all kill ourselves too, so please don't do so. See how death-chains like that just aren't logical. I think once this is over, regardless of which direction nature decides to go, you'll be OK - Remember that you're still breathing and that if you kill yourself even that wouldn't be a sure escape from the sorrow.
I'll be sending you and HB some good vibes - hang in there please post something so we know you can still type
-------------------- Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me. In addition: SHPONGLE
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LeViTY
I missed theark.
Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 1,988
Loc: CA
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Re: I'm ready to die. [Re: Strumpling]
#1561232 - 05/19/03 07:31 PM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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Thanks for the help...HB is doing much better.
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Strumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
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Re: I'm ready to die. [Re: LeViTY]
#1561500 - 05/19/03 08:36 PM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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::insert sigh of relief here::
-------------------- Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me. In addition: SHPONGLE
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djfrog
omgws!!!1!
Registered: 10/22/00
Posts: 3,710
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Re: I'm ready to die. [Re: LeViTY]
#1561602 - 05/19/03 09:07 PM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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I was gone for the weekend so I missed most of what happened, but its good to know you and HB are both doing better.
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daba
Stranger
Registered: 12/30/02
Posts: 3,881
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
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Re: I'm ready to die. [Re: djfrog]
#1562291 - 05/20/03 02:31 AM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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Levity: Please check your PM's.
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SWAY
SurrealPhantasmicSubConscious
Registered: 04/11/03
Posts: 71
Loc: A Dream...
Last seen: 20 years, 9 months
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Re: I'm ready to die. [Re: daba]
#1563150 - 05/20/03 02:07 PM (20 years, 10 months ago) |
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atleast you have somebody to die for, not everyone does.. to be honest i wouldnt mind being in pain if i knew somebody loved me like you already have and know
but also if you make it through this you will be tougher....
-------------------- ?People keep searching for happines in the outside, what they don't know is that it's in the inside? ?In an infinite universe, anything that can exist, must exist? Bear ?To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing? Eva Young
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