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Offlinedageo18
Stranger
Male

Registered: 02/21/11
Posts: 57
Last seen: 12 years, 6 months
forced introvert/extrovert
    #15015180 - 09/02/11 12:08 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I have had some ideas in my head about what happened to me from the beginning of the summer before last to a few months after summer had ended with no real words to explain them.  These untangle thoughts have caused me a great deal of stress when self reflecting over the year. Reading a passage in psychology today

“What happens when someone either doesn't know what their own typology is, or rejects it? What if you weren't able to answer the above query because you don't yet know how to recharge your battery, haven't found what works for you? When introverted types try to live like extraverts, they have problems, because they have lost connection to their true introverted selves, the re-energizing ground of their being. The same can be said about extraverted types who, wanting to be more "spiritual" or contemplative, cut themselves off from the material world. They have each lost their touchstone.”

I feel I might have figured out a part of what happened to me.  Looking back throughout my entire life I would consider myself an introvert (although that is kind of a lie, from a young age to the end of middle school I was very outwardly excited, driven, and confident.  High school I was defiantly an introvert though).  It may be possible that I somewhat forced myself to become (or at least convince myself that I was) an extrovert at the end of senior year through smoking weed all the time and socializing basically all day every day for a whole summer.  I was more social than I had ever been.  Though at the end of the summer and early fall I became more depressed and less keen on going out, and very much wanted to “understand myself” to become a “real as fuck” rapper.  I tried to force feelings out of myself in the desire to become an introvert when I was probably really one all along. 

So in all the process went like this.  Introvert forced to extrovert forced to introvert.  Leaving a socially crippled introvert with no understanding of how I used to outwardly cope with being an introvert, as I assumed I was an extrovert. 

Thoughts?  Stupid idea?  Plausible?  Worth thinking about?

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InvisibleHarri

Registered: 10/29/08
Posts: 1,452
Re: forced introvert/extrovert [Re: dageo18]
    #15015218 - 09/02/11 12:19 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

That's interesting, I'm looking forward to seeing some comments on this.

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OfflineShroom lover
Lord Shiva
Male


Registered: 08/09/09
Posts: 580
Loc: LSD island
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
Re: forced introvert/extrovert [Re: Harri]
    #15015455 - 09/02/11 01:24 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

i used to be an introvert person but once i started doing drugs i loved socializing and hanging out with people. Once i slowed my usage down i noticed that i took extrovert emotions into my sober life and now i can do it without drugs and its great! i m glad that being an introvert is behind me cause this is way better.


--------------------
Lets go back in the time machine to ancient india and smoke Hashish with Lord Shiva.

"nuthin beats a couple bowls at midnight when the world around you is fast asleep" - LetsGetBlazed

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OfflineWithinity
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Registered: 04/11/10
Posts: 1,357
Loc: Côte d’Ivoire
Last seen: 2 years, 28 days
Re: forced introvert/extrovert [Re: Shroom lover]
    #15032642 - 09/05/11 12:54 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Growing up i was extroverted and very confident , at the same time i could also be alone and be fine with that, but i had friends friends everywhere all over the city and whatnot

I would play the gullible role and buy into peoples bullshit trickery just for the sake of laughs , it made people happy to think there lies were being bought (all in good nature of course , nothing serious)I say that because it gets me thinking the introvert was there all along even when i was heavily extroverted & confidence driven with limited limitations.

What i cant do now is pretend as well I don't want people to think i am a dumb ass. ( a fuck you to the self and its belligerent clutches to outside attacks)

Whats changed ?

I once had the ability to jump on rapport with anyone and everyone. (i factor this to only child)

I had always been clever also but blatantly considered myself to be dumb and to not know shit. ( this would tie into hierarchy of school and always having some of the lowest marks int the class, back then grades were what made you smart :P some people still duked by this systematic shit ).. erm most***

I didn't drop out because of my will to never give up, even if that meant cheating my way through tests instead of memorizing the information although if the subject genuinely interest me all good i would soak that shit up.



I guess my three year bout with Mary J and her daily usage would definitely tie into this somewhat turning me into more of an analyzer then a doer but at the same time i always have had grand observation except that it never got in the way

I doubt this helps you , but i in turn thank you really got me thinking here and this post was relevant to me , i feels ya , and you have got me in the mood for a writing frenzy

yeah drugs do link to this , back in those days i never knew what a psychedelic was and smoked weed rarely but was an animalistic drinker being my drug of choice

I am now 20 something days not smoking weed and find myself talking more , hence actually posting not just lurking  but still its bigger then simply 'drugs' all this shit is connected in one way or another and that's what i'm planning to map out now lol

Writing to get things out , even that before i had many different friends all different aspects of me and i would talk to them all like an open book sharing different chapters with different comrades 

I think 'growing up' has alot to do with all this to, actually i'm done  thanks again got me thinking out loud

Edited by Withinity (09/05/11 12:55 PM)

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