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Amphiphilosophical
Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 433
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Magic Mushrooms(4 g, level 5) "Bad trip, Good Revelation" (long read)
#14759134 - 07/12/11 08:11 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Psychedelic: Magic Mushrooms Species:Psilocybe cubensis Amount: 4 grams (dry) Level: 5 Experience: Fourth trip ever and first time ingesting more than 3 grams at one time. Location: Friend’s house 1# and then Friend’s house 2# Age: 19 Preliminary information: I got into the idea of tripping mushrooms when I was in my 10th year of high school. I always had an allure toward psychedelics because of their shamanistic implications and mystical culture that surrounded them. I remember back then I had a completely opposite thought about how the effects of magic mushrooms would have on the mind because I thought by ingesting them I’d see “cartoon” like hallucinations and crazy magical colors. Never did I consider the profound deep thinking that would occur while on these illusive little fungi. However, I didn’t go on my first trip until I had graduated from high school mainly because I knew many people ate them when trying to find certain “guidance” through the trips. As I said, though, I had no idea how any of this “guidance” would be attained through the fungus because my idea of the tripping was rather ignorant and I had no idea that a substance could give you extravagant ideas of life and existence. After, high school, however, a few things had occurred that influenced me to seek whatever guidance I could gather. First of all, my brother had passed away of cancer rather unexpectedly. This impacted me a lot but I had kept a lot of my emotions inside and never fully expressed them to other people or even truly myself. Then at the end of high school my girlfriend broke up with me also unexpectedly after I had gotten back from an extended vacation where we were only able to talk maybe three times over. This impacted me a lot as this girl had been really significant to me even before we started dating. I was left with so many unanswered questions from her as to why she made the dramatic change in attitude towards me. This left me alone over the next freshman year of college and I had also not expressed much of my true attitude towards all of it. Thus, I took three subsequent trips during the school year: two with a friend and one by myself although during these trips I only tripped hard one time. Also, I didn’t go into any of these really seeking much despite what I swept away into my subconscious. Nonetheless, I had that fleeting feeling that maybe trips could be a little deeper than just nice visuals and rather ridiculous thoughts. So, I decided to go big, a full jump off into a pool of suppression, depression, and anxiety. I would now take four grams of shrooms…
Pre-trip:
For reasons I won’t get into much detail with, as I don’t want to make this excruciatingly long, my ex-girlfriend and I had recently been “talking” again. Although, the “talking” between us seemed so forced and after a year I tragically discovered that she had changed a lot since our break-up. She was no longer the girl I had once fallen in love with. Despite this, we had hung out a few hours before I took the mushrooms of this trip. There was quite a tension between us and the conversation seemed forced on my part more than anything. I left this altercation with a little bit of disappoint but didn’t really think the leftover emotional baggage would have any constitute on the nature of the trip. I stopped by my dealer’s house and picked up the mushrooms. I feel as though I originally planned on buying three but decided to make the leap and just grab four grams. I left his house with haste and went to a friend 1#’s house. When I got there I rushed inside excited I was about to reach a milestone as to how many shrooms I’d ever eaten at once. My friend looked surprised and a little uneasy as I scarfed down the four in a hurry. My other friend C was there and was equally surprised as he had only taken three before and knew that four would be very intense. Neither 1# nor C had taken shrooms that night. They were just having a smoke out and were planning on just chilling. Little did they know…
Beginning: After about 12-15 minutes I began to feel the familiar body buzz yet thought it odd I felt it so strongly so soon. I told my experienced mushroom friend C about this and he said it was no wonder because of the amount I had just put down. C then got a phone call from his girlfriend and walked out of the room. 1# and I stayed in his room and talked about what I was feeling and then just generally what had occurred over my day.
About 20-30 minutes later I was getting the tribal-like kaleidoscope visuals I usually get on the verge of fully dropping into the trip. This concerned me because of the rapidness of all the stages I was going through and how they had never come on this fast. I put it out of mind though and thought the sooner I fully get into the trip the better. 1# continued to ask me questions about what I was seeing, feeling, and thinking and then we got on the topic of music. I was telling him that usually when people trip they listen to The Dark Side of the Moon but I’d never really had the chance to. My friend smiled really big and asked if I’d like to hear it. I agreed, he cut out the lights, and started with my favorite song “Time”.
Too much, too soon:
About mid-way through “Time” I began to have an odd case of de javu. I felt as though I had possibly maybe forgotten about tripping at this friend’s house before and asked him about the occurrence. My friend tilts his head up slightly and says “You’ve never tripped shrooms at my house…” in what at the time seemed very menacing. This gave me a very odd feeling and I began to get very sick at my stomach. I knew there is a stage of nausea that you sometimes go through with shrooms but this felt a little odd considering the circumstances. Suddenly, C comes back into the room and notices that I am tripping pretty hard and pretty soon. He tells me that I look as though my mind is probably going a million miles a minute and that if it’s already this intense this soon then I should expect it to continue to grow. I tell him about the nausea I am feeling and he says that seems pretty normal and asks if I’d think eating bread and drinking water would help me cope with it. I tell him I’d think that would help and he brings me the food. Him and 1# then contemplate whether they should go out and smoke one more time or not because 1#’s mom would be home soon and they didn’t want to be blitzed when she got there. This sent a red alert off in my head and the anxiety of the thought that any figure of authority being in my presence hit me like a ton of bricks. I asked how we were going to get away with me tripping this hard and his mom being at home. He told not to worry and that when she got there I could just lie down on his bed and act like I was sleeping until she went to her bedroom. I told them I was already feeling like I needed to lie down and they could go out and smoke while I did this. Loss of time and the subsequent loop: My friends left and I lied down on the bed. However, when I did this it felt as though I continuously kept falling and the closed-eye visuals I was having were quite intense. It reminded me a lot of what Alex Grey paintings look like with their interlocking designs and variations of color. All this made me quite uncomfortable so I decided to get up. Surprisingly, I found my friends in the room with me talking. I asked them if they were going to go smoke a blunt and they looked at me with shock telling me that they had done that 15 minutes ago. Again, I was hit with a very uncomfortable vibe and told them I needed to go lie down but thinking it best if I were to go to the guest bedroom and be alone.
I walked towards the bedroom down the hall and when I arrived I saw in the shadows of the dark what looked to be someone lying on the sheets. I put it out of mind though knowing still that I was just tripping really hard. Again, when I tried to lie on the bed I got the same feeling of falling and even creepier looking closed-eye visuals. I forced myself though to cope knowing my friend’s mom would arrive soon. However, the anxiety of the realization that someone would be in our immediate presence that is not accepting of tripping made me very uncomfortable. I got up because of this and walked to the room C and 1# was in. I told my friend I think it best that I take a shower and use this as a getaway of coming in contact with his mom. He told me he didn’t think it was a good idea so I said I would just try resting in the guest room.
This didn’t play out too well. I kept having the same sensation that I had earlier and a need to get out of the room. I went back to my friend’s room and just stood there. C asked me why I was back so soon and that he thought I was going to go to sleep. I told him I was and then went back, but when I got there I was compelled for some reason to walk back into my friend’s room again. I told them that this trip was pretty intense and that I need to lie down. They told me that is what I had just said earlier and were wondering why I was back again. At the time though, I remember this playing out totally different and it seemed like they were telling me the same things over and over again. Finally, I convinced my friend that I needed to take a shower and because his mom was about to walk in the door he hastily sent me into the bathroom. C came in also just to make sure I could get into the shower okay by myself and stood right behind the door that was in the shower room and kept asking me if I was doing alright. He told me after the trip that I was actually in there for 10 minutes without the water running and was concerned that I might have passed out because I wasn’t saying or making any noise.
However, I remember this totally differently and it seemed as though I had only been in there five seconds when he started to knock and ask me if I was doing okay. Breakdown and wildest ride of my life:
After having spent a few more minutes in the bathroom trying to undress while my friend beat on the door asking if I was doing alright, I finally turned on the shower. My friend though began to beat louder and told me I needed to talk to him and tell him that I was alright. For some reason, I couldn’t tell him anything and he began to try to open the door. I was naked, so I freaked out and pushed on the door. He told me to put on some clothes and come out because he was worried and I was now making a lot of noise. I put on my shorts without putting on my underwear (haha) and came out shirtless. My friend looked at me with the utmost concern and this freaked me out. I then tried to run to the other door that led into the hall but he grabbed me and said 1# mom was right outside. I began to freak out and then glanced at myself in the mirror that was in the room with us. I looked very skinny and anorexic like. I am an avid runner so I am quite skinny but I never noticed my predominant bone structure and veiny anatomy. 1# comes in and looks very spooked. C grabs the rest of my clothing and they rush me down the hall into 1#’s room. I tell them I need help and that I feel like I am going insane. At this point I had forgotten all about the shrooms even though my friends were trying to make me remember that I took them and that’s why I was feeling the way I was feeling. Then, I began to feel as though I’d never snap out of this state. I told them to call one of my friends because I thought he would know what to do though for some odd reason when my friend began to call him I was convinced he was calling my mom. I grabbed the phone and began to yell for my mom on the phone and told her I was so sorry and that I wanted her to come pick me up. My friend told me it wasn’t my mom and grabbed the phone from me. I then started yelling really loud and told them to let me out of the room. I wanted to see my mom and was convinced she was right outside. My friend blocked the door and I was almost to the point of punching him but instead just pushed him into it. After I did this they both jumped on me and constrained me on the bed knowing it was best because I was getting too aggressive. I shouted for my mom and began to cry. Out of nowhere, I started to have a flash back of the whole course of the day. Remembering the encounter with my ex only made me regret the state I thought I was subsequently in even more and began to shout her name telling them I wanted to see both her and my mom. Finally, my friend arrived and my friends led me quickly outside where 2# and another friend “A” were waiting on me with the car. I thought I saw my ex in the back seat and jumped inside really quickly only to find her not present. We began to drive down the road towards 2#’s house and I ranted about random topics about the infinity of the Universe, wanting to see my ex, and that I felt as though I could teleport outside of the moving vehicle. Eternal contemplation: When we arrived at my friend’s house I was completely at lost with my location. Having been one area one minute and then seemly another the next made my perception of time very eradicated. I ran indoors and went immediately to the back balcony. Both of my friends chased after me and found me about to dive off the balcony. Thankfully they both grabbed me and forced me back indoors. This is when the true trip began.
I was now seemly at lost with reality. I had no concept of my actual self and had memories of people, places, and events that I thought weren’t related to my life. I didn’t know my meaning in life and thought I was searching for my true self. This idea though soon fleeted and I snapped back into my life and thought now I must be feeling the in-between state of life and death. Maybe this is exactly what my brother had felt when he passed away: the feeling of not wanting to resist death but the inability to have life.
I then sat down by recommendation of my friend and he started to ask me questions. I think he was trying to get me to snap back into my senses by asking me about the events that had taken place over the course of the day before this state. This only stressed me because I thought about my ex and the realization that she was now a completely different person. He told me that I shouldn’t be down about it and that maybe there was still a chance for me and her. I told him he didn’t know what he was talking about and I started to have that searching feeling again. I thought I wasn’t myself. Maybe I was just some being, entity, or incomprehensible thing that was only mustering this state of reality in my vision. Was human-kind really the way I thought human-kind was? Could I really know how to truly feel about things when possibly the only things I knew were just created by my own perception. I contemplated all of these hypothesizes for so long eventually thinking I would never know what it meant to truly “be” in any physical, mental, or spiritual sense. Then, seemly out of nowhere I came to. It was actually quite amusing because my friend looked at me and knew I was finally back also and said “Now, you see what I mean…that’s a true trip, haha”. We had a good laugh and I was still slightly unsure if I was completely done thinking I was about to fall right back into that state of madness again.
Revelation: If you read this entire trip report completely through then I congratulate you. I wanted to put down as much as possible just to allow as much insight for people wanting to go that extra leap into the powerful abyss known as a level five trip and what they might experience. I never thought I would ever attain such a state and be totally convinced that what I was thinking, hearing, and seeing was not being mustered up by a substance I had placed into my body but that it was actually physically present. It’s very strange how psilocybin has the power to do this on the human mind. What I learned from this trip was that I need to be a lot truer to myself with the feelings I have about people, events, and conflicts that have arose in my life. No longer should I suppress them and put them out of mind but I should appreciate what I can learn from them and how they shape me for the future. Once again, thank you for the few that read this completely through and I hope all of you have awareness and respect when experimenting with psychedelics at levels such as this.
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Curiousgeorge22
Mad Man
Registered: 08/17/09
Posts: 1,924
Loc: mommas womb
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Re: Magic Mushrooms(4 g, level 5) "Bad trip, Good Revelation" (long read) [Re: Amphiphilosophical]
#14759163 - 07/12/11 08:16 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Try dmt
-------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “The people who were trying to make this world worse are not taking the day off. Why should I?” - Bob Marley
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Amphiphilosophical
Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 433
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: Magic Mushrooms(4 g, level 5) "Bad trip, Good Revelation" (long read) [Re: Curiousgeorge22]
#14759267 - 07/12/11 08:38 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Are you laughing at the inexperience, which I admit I had at the time, or the fact that what I think is intense isn't relative to what you think is intense?
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puttz
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Re: Magic Mushrooms(4 g, level 5) "Bad trip, Good Revelation" (long read) [Re: Amphiphilosophical]
#14759373 - 07/12/11 09:02 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Good read. I'm glad you had a positive experience, if a bit intense. Don't pay any mind to those who say your trip wasn't meaning full because they have tripped harder. It's not a contest. If you had a meaningful or enjoyable experience then it was a worthwhile trip and thats all that counts.
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Amphiphilosophical
Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 433
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: Magic Mushrooms(4 g, level 5) "Bad trip, Good Revelation" (long read) [Re: puttz]
#14759494 - 07/12/11 09:27 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Exactly. Thank you for the kind word puttz. It might not have been the most intense experience ever but for me it was. Trips are relative.
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Cynosure
allow me to be your guide.
Registered: 10/06/09
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Re: Magic Mushrooms(4 g, level 5) "Bad trip, Good Revelation" (long read) [Re: Amphiphilosophical]
#14762802 - 07/13/11 02:06 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Haha, I liked the report.
It definitely helps hit home the fact that set and setting are very important when melting into the cosmos.
Did you happen to bring anything useful back?
-------------------- "You can peel it [language] off the ceiling and make it dance in front of you" - McKenna <3 .
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Curiousgeorge22
Mad Man
Registered: 08/17/09
Posts: 1,924
Loc: mommas womb
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Re: Magic Mushrooms(4 g, level 5) "Bad trip, Good Revelation" (long read) [Re: Amphiphilosophical]
#14763438 - 07/13/11 04:13 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I was only laughing at the fact that you remind me of myself and pretty much everybody else when they first start tripping.
-------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “The people who were trying to make this world worse are not taking the day off. Why should I?” - Bob Marley
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Amphiphilosophical
Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 433
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: Magic Mushrooms(4 g, level 5) "Bad trip, Good Revelation" (long read) [Re: Curiousgeorge22]
#14763859 - 07/13/11 05:43 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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Thanks for the explanation. I didn't take it personally. Just wondering what the laughing was about.
I personally think I have more appreciation for the beauty of life and the people I meet along my day to day.
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POV
Aquatic Patterns
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Re: Magic Mushrooms(4 g, level 5) "Bad trip, Good Revelation" (long read) [Re: Amphiphilosophical]
#14767779 - 07/14/11 12:53 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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HAHAHA That's awesome bro! I remember saying/thinking the same shit the first time I had a TRUE trip on psyches. Three hits of LSD, I started going into loops, talking to people didn't make sense anymore, I kept asking people "wait.. who am I talking to?" I remember coming out of it like "Oh.... THAT'S what a true trip is like!" And then I did nine hits once and said the same thing
All in all, it's a good thing you had this experience. Bad trips come from within. Usually delusions, ideas and thoughts that seem negative in bad trips are REALLY things about yourself that you're unhappy with in your life being projected out into your reality. The one thing that I can say is good about "bad" trips, is that you always learn the most from them, unless of course you're a complete moron who blames the SUBSTANCE for having a bad time.
-------------------- Love, Sincerity, Desire... "If you're frightened of dying, and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the Earth." "I am totally impressed with you people... Seriously, we live on a planet where we're very crammed together and I think we do really well. It's just when we watch the news and we watch entertainment... it's about peoples' conflicts tied together in the most exciting possible way."
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Amphiphilosophical
Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 433
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: Magic Mushrooms(4 g, level 5) "Bad trip, Good Revelation" (long read) [Re: POV]
#14769667 - 07/14/11 08:44 PM (12 years, 9 months ago) |
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I agree, even though the trip was "bad" I probably learned the most from this one than any other subsequent trips.
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quebus
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Re: Magic Mushrooms(4 g, level 5) "Bad trip, Good Revelation" (long read) [Re: Amphiphilosophical]
#14781143 - 07/17/11 10:44 AM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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"I got into the idea of tripping mushrooms when I was in my 10th year of high school."
10 years??? What took you so long to get out of high school? Sorry - couldn't stop myself.
Enjoyed reading about it. Remember - Set and setting.
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Amphiphilosophical
Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 433
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: Magic Mushrooms(4 g, level 5) "Bad trip, Good Revelation" (long read) [Re: quebus]
#14783713 - 07/17/11 09:22 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Haha, I actually noticed I said that and was waiting for someone to comment on it. Should have just said my Sophomore year.
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Quint92
Psychedelic Warrior
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Re: Magic Mushrooms(4 g, level 5) "Bad trip, Good Revelation" (long read) [Re: Amphiphilosophical]
#14867051 - 08/03/11 12:31 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Awesome read dude.
I had a very similiar experience. Made some sense of mine.
Anyway, I hope you still trip..??
-------------------- "There's a Hell. Believe me I've seen it. There's a Heaven. Let's keep it a secret!"- Bring Me The Horizon
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Amphiphilosophical
Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 433
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: Magic Mushrooms(4 g, level 5) "Bad trip, Good Revelation" (long read) [Re: Quint92]
#14917515 - 08/13/11 08:09 PM (12 years, 8 months ago) |
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Oh yeah bro, I have went on two great trips since then. Sort of had a flash back to this experience in my most recent trip but it faded soon and the night turned out to be really fun.
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malevolence
Mathematician
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Re: Magic Mushrooms(4 g, level 5) "Bad trip, Good Revelation" (long read) [Re: Amphiphilosophical]
#14945730 - 08/19/11 03:37 AM (12 years, 7 months ago) |
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Great report man. Even though it was long I liked the detail. I just got some 2C-E (never done it) and I'm about to wade into foreign waters. I hope mine comes out as meaningful as this!
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SineWaveHighway
Registered: 04/02/12
Posts: 102
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Re: Magic Mushrooms(4 g, level 5) "Bad trip, Good Revelation" (long read) [Re: malevolence]
#17866628 - 02/25/13 11:00 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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relate so well to this..
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Amphiphilosophical
Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 433
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: Magic Mushrooms(4 g, level 5) "Bad trip, Good Revelation" (long read) [Re: SineWaveHighway]
#17870508 - 02/26/13 05:22 PM (11 years, 1 month ago) |
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Thanks dude, PM me if you'd like and we can talk. This was a life changing trip for me 2 years ago. It definitely put things into a bit more relaxing mindset for me.
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Austin181
Psychonaut
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Re: Magic Mushrooms(4 g, level 5) "Bad trip, Good Revelation" (long read) [Re: Amphiphilosophical]
#20357126 - 07/31/14 07:11 PM (9 years, 8 months ago) |
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I know this thread is old, but why did you try to jump off the balcony?!?! You would have been another suicide on hallucinogens!
-------------------- “Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behaviour and information processing. They open you up to the possibility that everything you know is wrong.” – Terence McKenna
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Amphiphilosophical
Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 433
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: Magic Mushrooms(4 g, level 5) "Bad trip, Good Revelation" (long read) [Re: Austin181]
#20536872 - 09/08/14 08:25 AM (9 years, 7 months ago) |
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Purely unintentional behavior. I wasn't trying to jump off the balcony for the hell of it but because I was so wrapped up in the moment that I saw it as an escape.
It hindsight I don't believe I would have gotten killed jumping from the balcony. Would have definitely been hurt but the balcony wasn't high enough to kill me. At least I don't believe it was. Haven't been to that house in three years now.
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