The Fourth Kind - Spirituality & Mysticism

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Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Kickle
Wanderer

Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,978
Last seen: 2 days, 15 hours

The Fourth Kind

1
#12335310 - 04/05/10 12:43 PM (14 years, 14 days ago)

Alright, so it's been a little while since I've posted something really out there.
Especially something that pushes my level of comfort to its edges.
But this is the one thing I have experienced that I have absolutely no explanation for.
It completely obliterated what I thought I knew about the way things work.

Slight background of why this post, and why now...
A co-worker lent me the movie The Fourth Kind and I got around to watching it last night.
Prior to him lending the movie to me, we had been discussing aliens.
I had relayed to him one of the most profound experiences I've ever had.
One that felt distinctly alien.

It freaked him out that shortly after I told him this story, he watched the movie and saw some similarities.
He promptly lent me the movie to watch for myself.
When I watched the movie, it sort of freaked me out as well.
Not in a bad way, just in a way that causes one to wonder about things we normally push down.

For the majority of the time I watched the film, I was just analyzing it, catching little screwy things with the film timing (e.g. a scene that was supposed to be at a later time than the one prior, actually had an earlier time showing on the clock), taking in their use of a psychologist, thinking about what internal factors could be influencing the story line, etc.

But then something happened towards the very end. The man from the University who is interviewing the psychologist asks, "The alien described itself as God. Do you think this is true?" to which the psychologist responds, "All I could feel from them was hopelessness, so no, it couldn't have been God."

Which rocketed my mind back to my own experience.
So, without any more background, let me describe for your my experience.

I was on a medium sized dose of mushrooms, maybe 2.5-3g, and I was talking to a long time acquaintance on Yahoo messenger.
As I was talking with her, her roommate messaged me.
This was strange, he didn't usually talk to me.
They are both in their late 40's, both unmarried.
He's ex-military. She writes for a newspaper.
I've always wondered what their relationship really was, but she always denied any sexual relations.
And I mean really denied, as if it were disgusting to think about.

And the dude always seemed a little off to me.
As if he maybe had a disorder of some sort and was unable to take care of himself.
So I started asking her if they were related.
The delay between responses started to increase the more pressing my questions became.
Eventually, I asked a key question and never got to see a response...
Shit got weird in a hurry.

My computer screen went black -- everything shut down.
I'm looking at it in bewilderment when I feel a tugging.
Nothing gentle, but very forceful. It's prying into my head.
It takes control to which spurs emotions of sheer terror.
Fight or flight is in full gear, but I can't do anything.
My systems are slowly shutting down, as if all the energy in my body is being drained away.
Like being sucked dry from the inside, and all you can do is watch.

Just as I've given up hope, the world is dimming, my eyes are drooping, I'm heavily slouched in my chair,
not supported by any of my normal abilities...
release! I prop back up and take several breaths.
I get up and pace around, having no idea what to do or what the hell just happened.
I go into the bathroom and look in the mirror, I look completely mad.
My hair is askew all to one side and I slump against the entryway.
In shock, I would say... just trying to make sense of my surrounding but finding it difficult.

I pace around a moment more and then a good friend calls me.
Asks if I'm alright, he thought something might be up.
I tell him that I'm having a real strange go of things, tell him I'm not comfortable explaining it.
He just says he gets it, we kinda chat a bit and I start to calm down.
We get off the phone and I head back towards the computer.

It's back on....
Everything is exactly as it was before all of this.
Except for one thing... the chat windows from the messenger are all blank.
They are all open -- my conversations with everyone are all open -- but they are blank!
So I shut the computer down and went out for a walk to shake out some of the adrenaline that built up.

For nearly 2 years I barely told anyone of this experience.
And when I did, I told it to them in a most delicate manner.
So there you go Shroomery, that's my story.
I've never felt so hopeless in my life as I did during that experience.
Everything was out of my control and what was controlling it was shutting down my life-force.
It terrified and shook me to my core.

What makes it so difficult for my mind to grasp, is the physical correlates to this experience unfolding.
If my computer hadn't shut down and then come back on with all my chat erased,
I might have simply written the whole thing off as a reliving of a near-death experience I had when I was younger.
Experiencing and living through those repressed memories of dying.
But I just don't have any explanation for the changes in physical reality.
Nor some of the thoughts that went through my mind upon returning from this state.

--------------------
Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain

Extras:

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