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Offlinexaos01
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Registered: 08/31/09
Posts: 5
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
Any nitrous lovers in St Louis?
    #10983168 - 09/01/09 10:24 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Greetings fellow psychonauts!

Im a long time lurker, first time poster.  I finally joined the forums to tell you all a story. 

    Many many years ago (1996 I guess?)  while I was going to Columbia College in Chicago for digital audio production/audio engineering,  I met a fellow named Stephen Kat..... (name obfuscated to protect him).  Meeting him changed my life forever.  This is the story.

    I was working at a place called "Fat Tuesday" at the pier.  It was a daiquiri bar on the lake where cigarette boats of the ultra-rich would pull up and buy gallons of daiquiri. I was a waiter there and every night after our shift, all us waiters would go to "Dicks Last resort" to get blasted.  Now this particular night a customer of mine had tipped me a fat bud and I didn't have a pipe with me to smoke it, so I stopped at the head shop in the mall there to get one.

    Inside there is this guy with a backpack talking to the shop-keep behind the counter, in an attempt to get him to buy these dugout like devices he had invented.  They were like dugouts in concept, but they were made out of plastic.  They were all swirly and multi-colored and each one was unique.  They were bad-ass.  The shop-keep wasn't interested, but I was and I said to the guy "Wow!! those are completely bad ass! Ill take one."  The shop-keep goes, "Now wait a minute, I carry these" and he buys some from Steve, and I buy one from the shop-keep for $20 bucks.  I go outside to find my co-workers and get blazed with my completely kick ass new toy.

    When I get outside, there stands Steve.  He's like "Man thanks alot! That guy bought a hundred!" and he gives me 5 of them and his card.  He says he's in town trying to drum up interest in his product and that although he has some stuff to do that night, he'd like to buy me a drink tomorrow at Dick's.  So we shake hands and I find my co-workers, get blasted, head to Dick's for some boozing.

    Now at this point were all pretty blazed/hammered and all my co-workers want to buy a dugout from me.  I sell all 5 for $20 each.  Sweet! Boozed all night for free.

    The next day I call Steve and tell him I and the rest of the crew will be there about midnight.  When we get there Steve is already there at the bar.  He buys me a Foster's oil can, which at the time was my beer of choice (don't ask. I was young).  We get to talking and I find out he is an engineering student at Purdue.  He has developed these devices and is traveling around the states in the vicinity of Indiana to drum up interest.  He tells me that he tried to sell the idea/design to dug-out corp or whatever they are called, but they threatened to sue him because the "bat" in a dugout is patented.  They come to an agreement whereby, he is allowed to sell his product for a period of 5 years while he is in college so he can pay his living expenses.  When he graduates, they will buy his product so he can pay off his student loans.

    I complement him again about his product and tell him that the 5 he gave me are already sold.  That Im a born salesman and could easilly sell the hell out of these things.  I had made $80 bucks that night slinging daiquiri, and he sells me 10 for $50 bucks (I had to save some money for Fosters and a cab).

    So the next day Im workin' the dock as usual and I come up with an idea.  These people that slide up in their Cigarette boats are loaded and usually reek of pot.  I say to one of them, "Hey want to see the coolest dug-out in the world?"  He buys one for $20.

    I sell out.  This goes on for a week. Me buying more and more from Steve for $5 a pop, selling them to customers while at work for $20.  Eventually I start telling customers they can use their credit card. "Just put it on the credit card as a tip- plus my actual tip of course".  Im making a killing.

    Steve goes back to school but we keep in contact, him shipping to me, me selling.  Eventually I have a brain storm.

Fuckin' Phish tour!!!

    I call Steve and tell him my idea. He loves it.  I tell him I think me and my 2 room-mates can sell 1000 while on tour hitting every show east of St. Louis.  We agree that he will front me 1000 at $3 each.  If I run out he will ship to me while on the road.

    So the 3 of us (me and my roommates) load up the Tercel and hit the first show (Deer Creek or Alpine Valley, I can't remember).  We load up back-packs and separate, go mobile at the shakedown/lot/campground.  WE ARE SELLING A FUCKTON OF THESE THINGS!!!  For $20 bucks. Especially to chicks. For some reason they they just fuckin' love 'em.  Like they look sorta urban-camouflage in their purse.  When its like starting to get dark we decide to try and sell to the other vendors themselves at $10 each.  Our rationale is that since its getting dark it will be difficult for us to show our wares.  The vendors have lights.  Its not fair that we steal their light.  The vendors buy a fuck-ton.

    Day 1.  I think between the 3 of us we sold maybe 600.  We are a little freaked out.  Jesus.  This is big.  We are rolling around with like $12000.  We call Steve and tell him we are going to continue to the next show (Deer Creek?) sell out, drop off his cash,  pick up another 1000 (not on the front.  we got bread now) and continue east.

    So we hit the next show, Im pretty sure its Deer Creek now that I think about it, and set up camp at Glo-Wood.  The dude next to us has a nitrous tank.  I slide over and say, "How many balloons can I get for your pick of one of these dug-outs?"  He says 5.  I sit down with him and huff my balloons, give him his dugout and ramble on.  Its like a 3 day camp if I remember correctly, and he makes a killing with his balloons and we sell out with our dug-outs.  By this time, Im telling people they are made out recycled bowling balls.  I know I know. Im a shit. I was young.  Drunk with power.  Mea Culpa.  As an aside, a decade later I ran into someone who had one of Steves designs, now emblazoned with KAOS on it.  He tells me "its made out of recycled bowling balls".  Too funny.

    So my crew and nitrous guy are breaking our respective camps to roll out to the next show.  He comes over and asks me why I never bought any more balloons from him?  I say, "Man I LOVE that stuff but I'd blow all my money on it.  Better to just say no.  He says "You know you would be perfect to sling balloons.  Interested?  Uh. sure.  What did you have in mind?  He says you hook me up with the supplier of those dug-outs, and ill give you this empty cylinder, and the name, address and a good word with a supplier of mine in Chicago.  Ok done deal.  He says there are 4 rules.

  1) No reusing balloons because of cross contamination/cold sores.
  2) 18" Tuf-Tex only.
  3) Every 30 minutes or so while you are raging the tank,  purposefully over-fill a ballon so it pops.  Its like a "Dinner Bell".
  4)  Towards the end of the tank start trading balloons for 50 empty balloons to the "Nitrous Trolls" (his words- not mine) to clean up the site.

    We shake hands and part.

    We go to Purdue, meet Steve, square up, reload and head back to Chicago to see about filling this tank.  Its some speed-shop and its like totally on the level.  Its medical (dude shows me an invoice) and $3.50 per pound for our 50 pounder tank.  We buy a second tank outright as well.

    We rent a station wagon and on the way to the next show (Ohio maybe- shit I dont know. we just followed the VW micro-busses)  we get to talking and feel like maybe we are "too successful".  Like maybe taking to much from the scene.  So we decide that we well vend 1 tank and give away balloons off the other.  We also decide we will miracle 1 pair of tickets at each show.

    We do the entire tour this way.  Along the way we trade our nitrous spot to other vendors for other spots further east.  Filling, vending, trading, partying, giving, huffing, tripping, reloading.  One thing I remember from this entire experience (the first of 3 tours).  For sure. no hazyness. Is this.

    We made $65,000 that tour.

    We could have easily doubled that had we not given half the gas away and miracled tickets at each show .  But the look on peoples faces when we would hear the crowd noise begin as the show started and people at the gate with no ticket when we would slap 2 tickets on them was priceless.  Many cried.

    We eventually quit selling the dugouts in favor of gas.  We had "Huffy" bicycle shirts.  We had a system where we would pick a currency like egyptian pennies or some shit for each show and I would sit at the table selling "tokens".  My guys would take tokens and sell balloons.  We would fedEx money home each night.  We finished that tour with 6 empty tanks.

    Looking back on this time in my life (Im a Systems Engineer now)  I can see that we should have been _more_ giving.  I will say this.  We made a killing but we tried to give back in our juvenile small-minded way.  We never bought provisions from town like food water beer etc.  We "supported the local economy"  We bought everything we needed from other vendors trying to make it to the next show.

    Meeting Steven Kat..... that night, changed my life.  I was able to get my audio engineering degree and a computer science degree because of those 3 summers.  That man and those awesome hippies at the shows gave me a life.  I will never forget those years, nor those people.  There is no way to pay them back.

    I have a zillion other stories about those days,  and I still toy with the idea of writing a book and perhaps a screen-play.

    Last month I bought a case of PureWhip chargers.  ExacExacExacEactly the same as I remembered!  Almost as good as the gas I sold...  :grin:

    So...

    Any nitrous lovers in St. Louis?  I'd love a tank and a spot to fill it.  PM me if you can help out.

Peace,
xaos01

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OfflineNastyDHL
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/04/08
Posts: 3,586
Loc: New England
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: Any nitrous lovers in St Louis? [Re: xaos01]
    #10983206 - 09/01/09 10:30 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

wow, GREAT FUCKING STORY! but dude, weak how all of a sudden you transformed into an undercover cop there at the end, you shneaky pig!

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