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Offlinecurious mouse
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Hoping to reconcile my distaste for my mother, shroomery psyche team.
    #10931923 - 08/25/09 02:10 AM (14 years, 7 months ago)

I've grown to really dislike my mother for her many perceived personality defects....
i really wish i could stop nitpicking at every little thing she says or does...and be more welcoming and kind to her....
but at the same time...i don't feel like i should hide my true feelings and act as if everything is alright. i feel like that would just perpetuate the problem.

I'm 25 years old now...almost 26....
i don't necessarily want to distance myself from her....but I'm beginning to think that our relationship could be damaging to the both of us.

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InvisibleMufungo
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Re: Hoping to reconcile my distaste for my mother, shroomery psyche team. [Re: curious mouse]
    #10932018 - 08/25/09 02:28 AM (14 years, 7 months ago)

If you'd like advice, ask a mod to transfer this thread to the Physical and Mental Wellbeing forum.


If she wasn't your mother but instead was a good friend's mother, would the perceived personality defects bother you as much?


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OfflineBooby
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Re: Hoping to reconcile my distaste for my mother, shroomery psyche team. [Re: curious mouse]
    #10932021 - 08/25/09 02:29 AM (14 years, 7 months ago)

I don't know how much the role of instinctual distancing in familial relationships plays in interpersonal relations, but it wouldn't surprise me if instinct has a way of overpowering or getting in the way of our rational objectives.

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OfflineBooby
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Re: Hoping to reconcile my distaste for my mother, shroomery psyche team. [Re: curious mouse]
    #10932104 - 08/25/09 02:49 AM (14 years, 7 months ago)

Perhaps unhappy situations with our mothers can be linked to less-than-optimum protein formulas in bottle-feeding.

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Offlinecurious mouse
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Re: Hoping to reconcile my distaste for my mother, shroomery psyche team. [Re: Mufungo]
    #10932348 - 08/25/09 04:24 AM (14 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Mufungo said:
If you'd like advice, ask a mod to transfer this thread to the Physical and Mental Wellbeing forum.


If she wasn't your mother but instead was a good friend's mother, would the perceived personality defects bother you as much?




I think that if she wasn't my mother I wouldn't dispise her even more.

I generaly do not like her "kind." And I hate what this says about my self.

I'm not necessarily looking for any particular advice....just want to explore this all too common problem.

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Offlinecurious mouse
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Re: Hoping to reconcile my distaste for my mother, shroomery psyche team. [Re: Booby]
    #10932354 - 08/25/09 04:27 AM (14 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Booby said:
I don't know how much the role of instinctual distancing in familial relationships plays in interpersonal relations, but it wouldn't surprise me if instinct has a way of overpowering or getting in the way of our rational objectives.




i'm not sure what my rationale objective is...and i all to often seem to have this problem.

I'm constantly torn between things....question which way is better...and I usually have some inclination towards the other...but it usually a "gut" feeling that tips the balance...and I'm always resistant to move on something that may infact turn out to be the wrong course of action. but really i think i might just be justifying my inaction out of fear of something.

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OfflinejivJaN
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Re: Hoping to reconcile my distaste for my mother, shroomery psyche team. [Re: curious mouse]
    #10933039 - 08/25/09 09:14 AM (14 years, 7 months ago)

what are these personality defects ?


--------------------



---------------------

All my posts in this forum are strictly fictional.
They are derived from an acute mental illness , from which i am forced to lie compulsively.
I have never induced any kind of mind altering substance in my life  and i have no intentions whatsoever of doing anything illegal.
If I have ever suggested such a thing it would have most likely been , due to my personality disorder and i probably do not remember it at all..

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Offlinecurious mouse
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Re: Hoping to reconcile my distaste for my mother, shroomery psyche team. [Re: jivJaN]
    #10933170 - 08/25/09 09:50 AM (14 years, 7 months ago)

jumping to conclusions (automatically assuming the worst), extremely materialistic, never satisfied with what she has, vain, when out in public she seems to always put up a facade, whiny and complaining all the time, nitpicking at other people's looks, naive and ignorant about many things, childish in her arguments, talks shit about people behind their backs, and manipulative

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InvisibleMufungo
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Re: Hoping to reconcile my distaste for my mother, shroomery psyche team. [Re: curious mouse]
    #10933235 - 08/25/09 10:08 AM (14 years, 7 months ago)

Gee, seems like you've been keeping a list... What are her good traits?


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Offlinecurious mouse
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Re: Hoping to reconcile my distaste for my mother, shroomery psyche team. [Re: Mufungo]
    #10933309 - 08/25/09 10:26 AM (14 years, 7 months ago)

nope no list.....

her good traits are that she can be very nice and jovial if the mood strikes her, she loves cats and furry animals in general, and she's empathetic towards disadvantaged people

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OfflineAlphaFalfa
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Re: Hoping to reconcile my distaste for my mother, shroomery psyche team. [Re: curious mouse]
    #10933538 - 08/25/09 11:21 AM (14 years, 7 months ago)

HAHAHAHA - If your definitions are identical in meaning to mine, we have a similair mother.

What I do is intentionally ratify the reality that your mother is just a person and is in no way entitled to meet expectations about you. However, this does not mean that you will like her more. All this does is employ the reality behind our mother; they are just people, they need what people need, in reflection to our needs and considering that she was raised in a vastly difference culture with a vastly different experience about that culture, probally lacks alot of education as well, then what occurs is that she becomes a person who you are simply no longer compatible with.

Does she also pretend like there isnt a problem all the time? That what my mom does to, we argue and she comes with smiles after as if nothing happened, only to repeat that cycle hours or days later. I've cut off from that cycle, just sick of being disapointed, especially because we have compleltly different communication styles and completlty different ways of expressing emotions. Scratch compleltly more incomptable.


--------------------
if you ever feel lost, just remember, life is not a journey, it is entertainment, all 4 fun...


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OfflinejivJaN
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Re: Hoping to reconcile my distaste for my mother, shroomery psyche team. [Re: curious mouse]
    #10933610 - 08/25/09 11:34 AM (14 years, 7 months ago)

Tell her all this stuff...

can you ?

have you ?


--------------------



---------------------

All my posts in this forum are strictly fictional.
They are derived from an acute mental illness , from which i am forced to lie compulsively.
I have never induced any kind of mind altering substance in my life  and i have no intentions whatsoever of doing anything illegal.
If I have ever suggested such a thing it would have most likely been , due to my personality disorder and i probably do not remember it at all..

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