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Poptart
Registered: 11/05/08
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So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter.
#10320528 - 05/11/09 01:51 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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here it is.
I know you guys are probably angry, hurt and disappointed in me right now but please try to understand what I am trying to say and where I am coming from. First of all I’m so sick of trying to have to lie about the way I choose to live. I understand how you guys feel about me using marijuana. To you no good can come out of using a drug.
You have been told by politicians, religious leaders, and just the general population to stay away from marijuana and then they list the side effects of marijuana from shaky sources and assumptions about cannabis with a one sided way of understanding marijuana and its affects. I know you think you are looking at unbiased information when it comes to weed. But you are only understanding it from one side. And I know you guys feel the same way about me. You think that I am only listening to one side of the argument too. What you don’t understand is that I have done a lot of researching and thinking about using an illegal substance. I have balanced out the pros and cons many times in my head when I am either sober or high. And every time I come to the same result.
My concentration improves dramatically when I use weed. When I am just living my normal adhd life I have nonstop thoughts that have no correlation between one another. My thoughts are disconnected with what is going on around me and the thoughts in my head do not match with my immediate suroundings. I feel like I am just going through the motions of life because I have the silly idea that I have already experienced enough of life that I can’t enjoy it anymore. But when I am high I realize that I have just experienced a very small portion of life and that there are a million ways to approach and think about a situation. And a million ways to change my situation.
When I am sober the same thought processes go through my head everyday and I am stuck in a depressive mind state. But when I smoke I am instantly removed from that mind state and point of view. I am better able to concentrate and observe my situation through an unbiased opinion of life. I notice so many new things and I take a completely different approach to my everyday situations and am able to view my situation with many different perspectives. For example when I was working at subway I was having a very hard time catching on to how I was supposed to work. I was frustrated because I would just stand around and try to act busy because I didn’t know how I was supposed to be doing. I wanted to do a good job but I wasn’t sure how to.
One day I decided smoke a little before going into work which I know sounds very irresponsible but keep in mind I put a lot of thought into it and decided that I should try something new. I suddenly understood what I should be doing and how I should be doing it. (Nobody really trained my on how to do my job they just said I need to watch and observe)
So as I was working my coworkers and my manager noticed my improved performance and gave me compliments about how I was catching on quick. And I was able to focus completely with the task at hand throughout the day. And the next day I went into work without smoking and I was able to retain that information and remember how to do my job almost as well as when I was working high. I’m not saying everything about marijuana is positive I know there are some minor health concerns about choosing to live this lifestyle. However most of the stuff the general media and research says about weed is blown out of proportion and purposefully so. Or they say the truth without really saying the truth and all sides of it.
You need to understand that I didn’t just jump into the decision to use pot. I remember when I was young I was scared to death of drugs and was given horror stories about them. The dare officers most likely had good intentions as they were just doing what they thought was best but I believe they shouldn’t be using scare tactics and bending the truth. They clump weed in with dangerous drugs like meth, speed, cocaine, and heroin. And they tell you that if you use weed you will end up on the streets injecting heroin. If I was to have an honest description of myself I would say I was a thinker. Perhaps it is my adhd mind but I always catch my mind wandering off to think about everything like the universe and all the mystery and wonder of it all. So about 3 months before I left for Utah I was casually browsing a forum for philosophy, spirituality and religion. And I noticed a lot of people mentioned using entheogens to get into a philosophical and spiritual state of mind. So I wondered what an entheogen was and I looked it up and was terrified they were talking about using drugs like weed and mushrooms! I didn’t understand I thought drugs made people completely brain dead and stupid and that weed acid and mushrooms would literally melt your brain because that’s what my dare officer told me. Yet these philosophical people were using drugs. So I decided to do lots of research from lots of different sources and points of view. And I decided that one day I would like to just experiment with weed.
And so after I moved out I met my roommate who let me know that he was using weed and I asked him if I could try it. So one day we went out and smoked in a hidden area where we wouldn’t be disturbed. I had no idea what was going to happen and was waiting to see how it would affect me.
Suddenly I saw textures enlarging and contracting. Everything looked so beautiful I could examine every little detail on an object. Colors were brighter and contrasted better and the shading was more defined and the combination of it all made me go into a trance like state where I felt like my consciousness was expanding and I noticed I could actually feel the trees and hills and everything in my surroundings. “It’s hard to explain unless you have felt it before” I noticed if I closed my eyes I could remember what everything looked like perfectly. And then I started to reflect on my life and every little decision I have made and how it has affected me. I also put myself in everyone else’s shoes. And gained a different perspective on how my actions affect everyone. This made me sad as I realize how selfish I am most of the time absorbed in my own thoughts.
I noticed what made me different from others and I understood my personality better. I then reflected on my whole life as far back as I can remember to the present. I got up and we walked back inside our apartments and I looked at the clock and realized only 20 minutes had gone by and I just did about a month’s worth of thinking. I noticed it came on in waves. My thoughts would drift off into a completely different way of thinking that was very abstract and alien to my brain and then I would come back down to what everyone calls “reality” just long enough to explain to my friends in astonishment what I just experienced. But I found I couldn’t explain it or do it justice. My thoughts were beyond explaining with words. I felt like me and my roommates were on the same wavelength anyways and our thoughts were somehow connected and there was no need for explanation.
My roommate then recommended that I try to draw what I experienced and so started to draw and ever since then I have had a new found appreciation of art. I felt like art was a pure expression of the soul. I then realized how incredibly worthless words were in this state of consciousness. After I finished drawing I decided to listen to some music. It was mind-blowing. The music sounded four dimensional. I heard every little detail and each sound brought out a different emotion and it all connected together so beautifully. I noticed I could feel the vibrations of the music and I felt like the music became a part of my body. It was an incredible experience. I felt like I understood what the artist was trying to convey and I found a new appreciation for music.
I then started thinking about the universe and all the possibilities, theories and different ideas associated with it. I then came to the realization that matter was just condensed energy moving at a slow vibration. I then realized I could feel the energy vibrating in my body. I had complete body consciousness and I could feel everything around me. I felt like I was literally connected with everything. It is impossible to describe that feeling or understand it without experiencing it. People practice meditation and yoga their whole life to just to get this feeling and realization. It was probably the most interesting inspiring moments of my life.
As I was coming down and having more normal thoughts I was shocked. I felt like I had been lied to all my life about drugs. And so I did more research and found some of the side effects of smoking weed to be quite funny. • Trouble remembering things • Sleepiness • Anxiety • Paranoia • Altered time perception After experiencing what It was like to smoke marijuana I found this to be quite funny. First of all I want you to read this article. http://www.paradigm-sys.com/ctt_articles2.cfm?id=53 I know it is long but I just want you to understand where I am coming from. So please read up to at least The Nature of Knowledge.
Anyways after coming down from a high I noticed I couldn’t really remember what if felt like to be high and all that I had learned from it. This is due to state specific memory. A lot of times when I’m high I think in ways that would just completely overload my sober mind and so I can’t understand it when I am coming down. My sober state of mind didn’t have enough imagination to sense what I it is missing. This can be overcome by reflection upon coming down. Next is sleepiness I don’t know if you are aware of this or not but there are two main types of marijuana. One is sativa and the other is indica. They provide a different high and the indica type of weed is what makes you feel tired and has a very calming mind clearing effect that makes it easy to sleep. Sativa is used for people who have to be active from day to day and is used more for the way it alters consciousness then the way it makes the body feel. The stereotypical stoner the media portrays is the sativa type of weed smoker.
The anxiety and paranoia are obvious. Who wouldn’t be paranoid and anxious when participating in an illegal activity that has been a huge taboo in society for a long time. The truth is marijuana has been used for a long period of the earth’s history back into pre civilization for thousands of different purposes. The reason why we are not being told the full truth of marijuana from both perspectives is because it makes people uninterested towards the values of industrial capitalism. It makes people not want to work every day of their life to save up money to buy bigger and better things. It makes people realize they would rather live a simple life in which they can observe reality and all of its wonders. But there is a balance and I didn’t work that out very well when I was in Utah.
Altered time perception being listed as a negative for weed is laughable. When someone is high we perceive time differently because our brains are thinking differently and we usually don’t think in words it’s a much more complex and intuitive way of thinking. Sometimes it feels like I get trapped in moments of eternity. This is not a bad thing.
Wow I have already typed up four pages and I could talk on and on about this subject. I feel very strongly about this and I know it is hard for you to understand why I would want to participate in an illegal activity associated with criminals by the media. I know it is very heart breaking to know that your son uses drugs and will continue to use them. But I need you to try to try and understand why I do. I don’t just smoke to feel good for a while and escape what we call “reality”. (To me it’s embracing a new reality) I do it for inspiration, intuition and a philosophical spiritual experience. I feel so strongly about this and it saddens me that nobody will ever understand why I choose to live this way. As far as addiction goes I’m not going to lie it is hard for me to go a long time without smoking because I feel like I am missing out on a huge experience. I love thinking in a philosophical, spiritual, and creative state of mind and it fascinates me every time.
After observing myself and the way I feel I have noticed that when I choose not to smoke weed for long periods of time (2-5 weeks) I forget what the whole experience felt like and was about and it draws me back in. I’m a very curious person and it makes me sad that I have to lie and try and hide the way I choose to live. I just wish you guys can understand where I am coming from. Anyways I love you and it’s really late right now so I’m going to go to bed. I hope we don’t have to fight or argue with each other too much.
Edited by Poptart (05/11/09 01:54 AM)
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niteowl
GrandPaw
Registered: 07/01/03
Posts: 16,291
Loc:
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Re: So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter. [Re: Poptart]
#10320552 - 05/11/09 01:56 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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I can't believe you were dumb enough to get caught again
-------------------- Live for the moment you are in nowDon't be bogged down by your pastDon't be afraid of what lies in your future
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Maverick
Lover of Earwigs!
Registered: 12/18/05
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Re: So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter. [Re: niteowl] 1
#10320566 - 05/11/09 02:00 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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I can't believe you're dumb enough to be underage and posting...;) Go take a big rip and walk out and chase your 'rents around the house blowing smoke at them. Be like "ACCEPT IT "
Seriously, when it happened to me I was 19 when they found out and I just kind of shrugged and said "hey you know, I'm not out drinking and driving, getting wasted, and I'm being safe, but I'm not going to quit." Mom was kind of crying but now years later all she does is go "god that stuff smells bad." They'll get over it. Or you could move out and do it anyway.
*edit* Oooh the stereotypical would be the indica, unless you're thinking of kumar and harold...
Edited by DRTMaverick (05/11/09 02:04 AM)
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Sparkey_STi
Boomer
Registered: 06/19/08
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Re: So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter. [Re: Maverick]
#10320575 - 05/11/09 02:04 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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Yea, i got busted and they didnt care. Then i got busted again, and again with coke, boxes of coricidin, and a meth pipe... she cried like fuck and i got counseled. So my mom now just says as long as its just weed, then what ever... that and im over 18, and pay my bills and part of rent so she can suck it if she doesnt like it...
Your letter was to long. i got threw the first paragraph... But seriously, sit and talk. Instant feedback is great...
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Maverick
Lover of Earwigs!
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Re: So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter. [Re: Sparkey_STi]
#10320578 - 05/11/09 02:05 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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Yeah, and don't get stoned before you talk to them.
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Poptart
Registered: 11/05/08
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Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter. [Re: Maverick]
#10320588 - 05/11/09 02:09 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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I have a hard time communicating all my thoughts verbally. And just get too irritated with my parents ignorence. I can't explain myself fully and so thats why I decided to write that letter. And yes I wrote it while I was high.
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orison
mcfluffysugarnuts
Registered: 01/19/09
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Re: So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter. [Re: niteowl]
#10320590 - 05/11/09 02:10 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
niteowl said: I can't believe you were dumb enough to get caught again
I cant believe he was dumb enough to write that long ass letter.. Cut and paste. hit print, my man!!1!.. /,
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niteowl
GrandPaw
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Re: So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter. [Re: Poptart]
#10320594 - 05/11/09 02:12 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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Surely you didn't get caught smoking in the house again.
-------------------- Live for the moment you are in nowDon't be bogged down by your pastDon't be afraid of what lies in your future
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Maverick
Lover of Earwigs!
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Re: So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter. [Re: niteowl]
#10320599 - 05/11/09 02:14 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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are you implying typing the fucking thing? Just talk to them damnit.
Smoking in the house is gonna get you caught though. No matter how you look at it.
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Poptart
Registered: 11/05/08
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Re: So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter. [Re: Maverick] 1
#10320602 - 05/11/09 02:15 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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I have a hard time communicating all my thoughts verbally. And just get too irritated with my parents ignorence. I can't explain myself fully and so thats why I decided to write that letter. And yes I wrote it while I was high.
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Poptart
Registered: 11/05/08
Posts: 1,821
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter. [Re: orison]
#10320606 - 05/11/09 02:16 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
orison319 said:
Quote:
niteowl said: I can't believe you were dumb enough to get caught again
I cant believe he was dumb enough to write that long ass letter.. Cut and paste. hit print, my man!!1!.. /,
I typed it out on the computer...
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Poptart
Registered: 11/05/08
Posts: 1,821
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter. [Re: Maverick]
#10320610 - 05/11/09 02:19 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
DRTMaverick said: are you implying typing the fucking thing? Just talk to them damnit.
Smoking in the house is gonna get you caught though. No matter how you look at it.
I smoke in the middle of the night when everyone is already asleep. There are two seperate rooms in my basement and one is a room nobody ever goes in. So I sneak in their at night and blow the hits outside the door. So it's not like I was just blazing up in the living room in the middle of the day.
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g00ru
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Re: So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter. [Re: Poptart]
#10320625 - 05/11/09 02:23 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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How did you get caught...I smoked in high school for years and only got caught when my friends did dumbass shit.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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niteowl
GrandPaw
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Re: So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter. [Re: Poptart]
#10320633 - 05/11/09 02:26 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Poptart said: I smoke in the middle of the night when everyone is already asleep. There are two seperate rooms in my basement and one is a room nobody ever goes in. So I sneak in their at night and blow the hits outside the door. So it's not like I was just blazing up in the living room in the middle of the day.
You got caught the same way you did last time.
Can't manage to walk your dumb ass outside
Yea, you deserve the sermon you are gonna get.
-------------------- Live for the moment you are in nowDon't be bogged down by your pastDon't be afraid of what lies in your future
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Poptart
Registered: 11/05/08
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Re: So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter. [Re: g00ru]
#10320644 - 05/11/09 02:28 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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I have no fucking clue I"m like a ninja when I smoke. I didn't make a fucking noise. And it was like 1 in the morning. So I snuck off in the room and opened the door to my backyard and blew my hits out. Then I retreat to my room and hide the weed and the apple I was using. Then ten minutes later my mom runs downstairs and goes in the workroom. she then goes up to my door and bangs on it angrily and says that that wasn't a very good mothers day present.
She fucking gave me a heart attack when she pounded on the door to my room.
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niteowl
GrandPaw
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Re: So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter. [Re: Poptart]
#10320650 - 05/11/09 02:31 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Poptart said: So I snuck off in the room and opened the door to my backyard and blew my hits out.
Why didn't you just go out side and close the door.
Problem solved
-------------------- Live for the moment you are in nowDon't be bogged down by your pastDon't be afraid of what lies in your future
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Poptart
Registered: 11/05/08
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Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter. [Re: niteowl]
#10320659 - 05/11/09 02:34 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
niteowl said:
Quote:
Poptart said: So I snuck off in the room and opened the door to my backyard and blew my hits out.
Why didn't you just go out side and close the door.
Problem solved
Because then I coulden't hear if my parents are coming. Besides it smells like shit in the workroom because thats where our dogs sleep. And I let the room air out to so I don't think it smells that strongly.
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Poptart
Registered: 11/05/08
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Re: So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter. [Re: Poptart]
#10320665 - 05/11/09 02:38 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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I have no idea how she knew I was smoking. She obviously didn't see me smoking unless she had cameras set up or some shit lol. (paranoid stoned thought)
So the only other way is that she ran downstairs hoping to catch me in the act or she was going downstairs to feed the dogs and noticed the room smelled like weed.
Lol should I just deny it? she has no proof. But then again she woulden't believe me.
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Maverick
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Re: So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter. [Re: Poptart]
#10320686 - 05/11/09 02:47 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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smelt it?
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tpihkal
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Re: So my parents caught me smoking weed again so I wrote them a letter. [Re: Poptart]
#10320712 - 05/11/09 03:00 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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You're a fucking idiot, period
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