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OfflineFreedomForAll
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Registered: 11/30/08
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Re-education through Education- A Trip Report
    #10256491 - 04/29/09 03:04 PM (14 years, 10 months ago)

Sorry for the long words my friends, if you want you can read my thoughts in the last paragraph or too where my spiritual sensations were lifted. :cool: This is my first trip report but hopefully not my last!

A bit of background information regarding past drug use. I've smoked pot (obviously) for a few years, but not as much as I used to. I progressed to other drugs, from legals to OTC to illegal. When I decided to traverse the Psychedelic realm, I was unsure where to start. A few weeks ago I decided to order a 12 inch cutting of San Pedro. Unfortunetly I arrogantly thought that I was above everyone else and could withstand this so-called "foul taste" everyone noted. Needless to say I only ate enough of this raw gloop to create a colorful vision. What would be next? I had always wanted to try psylocybe mushrooms, and little did I know that I would get the chance to trip soon enough.
This past week I got my hands on an eight from a friend and decided that I was going to experiment with only half the eigth (2 grams aprox). I decided I would take them during the weekend (this past saturday) alone and without my friends so I could focus on a solo and possibly spiritual voyage. I decided to go with my family (whom I do not live with anymore) to a family and family friends park gathering.
Preparing a tea that I could consume on the road, I hastily left my apartment in the hopes they hadn't left without me. I made it when they were about to leave, and thus my adventure had began. The park was a good 30-40 minutes away and I had a fairly empty stomach when I was consuming the tea. It was rather enjoyable, I don't know what I expected it to taste like but it tasted to me like cashews. I turned on my ipod touch and opened my pre-planned playlist. Half an hour later a little before we had arrived to the park I began to feel a familiar feeling. A dilation of my eyes, and a transformation of my surroundings later, I had jumped into a Dr. Seuss book it had seemed. I enjoyed the Lancaster farms that were simply beautiful in the early-mid afternoon glow. I should note that my trip seemed to begin at 3:00 Pm when we had almost arrived at the park and ended later totally at about 10:00 Pm.

So we made it to the park. It was an unfammiliar sight, uh-oh, bad vibe number 1. My dad parked the Toyota in the lot while I scrambled to get my belongings in check. I had my water bottle to keep me hydrated in the high 80*F weather as well as my Ipod, Phone, and some other random trinkets to keep me entertained if Mother Nature failed me. As my family began leaving the car I suddenly froze in mid-air, a family friend who I had not seen since a good number years ago and with whom I had serious issues with was present in the lot. Already beginning to have objects shimmer and breathe I received an ever deeper negative vibe. Great, I thought. I stood where I was, not knowing what to do. My family had already began walking to where our family friends had set up a barbecue spot. I walked away from the guy with my sanity still intact. I walked into a trail, and began to admire what I'd always wanted, the cycle of life in it's purest form, un-trifled nature. I was probably walking (with much difficuly I must add) for about a half-an-hour. I suddenly had a horrible urge to urinate. I didn't want anyone to catch me pissing on a tree so I went back near the parking lot where I knew there was bound to be a restroom. One of my mom's lady friends walked up to me at that moment, and I began to get nervous. I started to squint my eye so she couldn't see my dilated eyes.

The lady whom I didn't know was asking how I was but I was only concerned about one thing. I asked where the bathroom was and she pointed one way. I thanked her and started walking earily towards where she was pointing. I walked down the path and saw a group of young boys (probably in their early high school years) skating. I was laughing hysterically at them for some reason because they simply sucked at skating. By this time the visuals were getting very intense. I was near a playground and the wood chips were making an infinite pattern of diamond-shaped magic that ran like a river. I sat down on a little kiddie bench because I was being overwhelmed. All the negative vibes that had been with me hadn't left and things were about to get worse. A group of Blank Girls had moved near me and I was getting very nervous. I turned my music on louder and I thought that one of the girls shook her head at me. I started to get some pretty paranoid thoughts and the fact that I was about to wet myself if I didn't go to the bathroom gave me even more bad vibes. I looked toward the bathroom entrance and saw a some kids sitting near it and for some reason I became scared. What if they rob me? I thought. Normally I wouldn't even give a shit if they were brandishing Klashinovoks but the mushrooms had made me a child. I decided a new tactic, I ran around the building to see if I could urinate around it but was in for a big surprise.

I said I was new to the park and I didn't know the layout. The whole flipping building was surrounded by the park and people were everywhere. I had no other choice, I hid behind a bush that was waving and changing colors and releived my bladder. I was afraid someone saw me so I ran to the family car and let myself in with a door open because of the heat. I was having a bad trip, and I knew it. Now, I knew I had to turn the trip around or else my Psychedelic days might be over.

I managed to overwhelm my paranoid thoughts and with a rush only a hero could feel boldly ran wildly into the bathroom. I can only imagine what everyone there was thinking. This young man, hair all messy in the drenched sweat,jeans barely intact, with a manic expression on his face. Maybe that saved my neck, I didn't know or care, however. I releived myself in what seemed like infinity and not wanting to humiliate myself further ran to my car. I stood motionless in the middle seat behind the passanger seat and sighed. I had made it. But I was still in a bad mood and though my vibes were getting cleaner I wasn't in the clear. I began to breathe in and out slowly and stare at the rippling images that spawned inside my closed eye, it was very similar to the peak of my meditation sessions. I seemed to be one with God or Nature, and was content for a second or so before the bad vibes returned.

I began to ponder, and thought of myself as a young Siddartha, alone outside the comforts of family and wealth, where wealth and family were my securities that I had left to find true enlightenment. But I was not like this great man. I was weak, I realized that all I was was another leach to this sacred planet. And what are we? Merely animals with a superior understanding of that around us (I made this observation while seing a couple walking by, and imagined seing his likely hidden thoughts to fuck her in the image of a nudge protruding from his shorts.). Yet... still we go to war, forget the unfortunate, perform narcistic actions and work to bring ourselves more, more, and MORE. The supply is finite, the demand, infinite. And with our selfish endeveours and meaningless lives, there is a moninant group that expresses imprisonment of freedom. And not for the obvious murder or harmful crimes made by our other evil nature. The banning of using nature's fruit. Man had become obsessed with the tale of Adam and Eve and a rennesance of stupidity had been cast forth in the early 1900s and into the new millenium. Perhaps all there was needed was re education through education. Those without knowledge would be amazed to find that rumors are those that are led on false reason. Would they see the difference? Or are we doomed to repeat the same mistakes as usual?

Well, the world needs good talkers. Like with African's rights to equal rights, this drug war needs a revolututionary figure, and I might as well try to be that figure, or die trying. I was in my prime, in college. I had the power to enter a field. Yes, I had a new goal in life! My vibes returned to normal as I felt a simulatenous feeling of wonder and happiness. I would be known!

And then I saw something walk past the car that made me jump. An almost naked baby crying in the sand from afar. Images of my trip to Iraq and seing my brother and sister orphans crying in the street amid gunfire made me lunge at the floor. Evil, senseless violence. Those men who called themselves Muslims were not like us at all. They had raped the name of Islam and carved its body on the tourist map to ward off visitors. And in this respect damned the world. Look how bad the state of the world is. It seems to be worsening. Does one person really have a chance to change it? Or should I aspire to my goal of setting US laws right? Are there more important things in life than our personal desires? Of course! What was I thinking.

And I began to cry, Because I knew that in the end, I would have to let it be. Let it be... the famous Beatles song. How did it go? "...And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be." And then I understood. It would get better. But why should I worry to such a large extent now? My fuitile efforts of overdoing the helping will only backfire. Gradual change will be needed to heal such a large wound.

Do what you must where you live. Be better than everyone else. Perhaps it will have a domino effect, perhaps not, but the world is cruel. It does as it pleases and after all, who knows how significant humans really are. Let it be? Is that how it was going to end? With solemn defeat? Spiritually really is pointless if that is all I can learn... I stayed in silence and waited till my family came to the car to go back home.

The End

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