"The urine leaving my penis was like a rainbow of hope"


 I laughed so hard when I read that line! Thanks for that...

But yea man, crazy ass trip you had. I had one that was on this level that was somewhat similar.

I started out really groovy, with intense visual hallucinations and a feeling of euphoria and what not. Through out the entire trip, everything I touched felt like it was soaked in water, especially when I sat down on a couch or chair. But yea, after a few hours it started to go way downhill. I literally felt my mind fall apart. It started out with me questioning everything around me and everything I know about reality. What is time (it had lost all meaning to me at this point)? What is space time? What happens to me when I die? Ect. Then I started to lose to grip on reality. I wasn't sure if these people around me were real anymore... like they were all fake programs designed to trip me into believing in this reality. Some of them were best friends, some of them were strangers (it was a bit of a shroom party, so most of them were tripping too, just not nearly on my level) but all of them seemed unreal to me. Then my ego was destroyed and I lost all sense of my own identity. I had no idea who or where I was, but I had this undescribable feeling that I was the "master of reality" and that I could control everything around me. Thats when I knew I had gone insane. Everything around me was confusing, I had no idea what was real or fake, true or false. The only thing I was sure of was that I had lost my fucking mind. This was also about the time that all the really entertaining visuals and completely and abruptly stopped. I felt my mind shatter and the pieces fall into oblivion and then it was just all a confusing dream after that, only I was actually living it for real. Im lucky I have amazing friends, because they made sure I got home alright and they explained to my family that I had taken too many shrooms and that I would be okay after they wore off. I remember talking to them for a while (about what, I do not remember) and I started to feel... almost normal. Maybe not normal.. but safe.. and not so scared of what was happening to my mind. But after they left, I fell into a whole other reality that was so terrifying I cant even describe it. From what my sister told me the next day, after my friends had left I just layed in my bed curled up in a ball staring at the clock and talking to myself for a couple hours. I remember talking to myself because I was so fucking scared and I found the sound of my own voice to be the only thing that was comforting in this complete state of schitzophrenia.

."I had visions of myself in a hospital bed, then in a psychiatric ward, with all my family standing around shaking their heads in disappointment. I convinced myself that I was stuck in this trip for the rest of my life, my body was just a shell and my brain was just left in a loop of colours and hallucinations and I was rendered crazy"
 
Yea, I can totally relate to that. Pretty much the same thing happened to me in my room that night. That was what terrified me the most. Only instead of feeling like I was stuck like that for the rest of my life, I literally thought I would be stuck like that for all of eternity because by this point I felt as if I had transcended time and space and that I had become a god. A god that had lost control of his creation (that being reality). A "Master of Reality" as I called it that night, that had been stripped of his power to sustain the reality that he created. It was as if all of the universe had snapped back at me like a broken rubberband that had been stretched to its breaking point. All of everything had shrunk down to the point at which it was created, suffocating my mind and leaving me trapped, all alone for eternity, in a tiny pocket universe where nothing (not even space/time) existed, just the essence of my broken consciousness.

Of course, I eventually came out of it. Slowly at first... after I regained control of my physical body again, I was still very much afraid, but happy to at least be back in the physical world where my body existed. I still had a scary feeling that I was trapped in my room, though. Trapped with no one to talk to and nothing to do. I tried to read a book but found that I was completely illiterate and could not make sense of the words. I tried to watch tv, but it was just repeating itself over and over and it intesified the feeling of being stuck in an infinite time loop that I had going on (I later realized it was an infomercial, lol) so I turned the TV off and paced around my room for some minutes trying to figure out how to get out. Thats when I realized that there was a door, and that it could indeed be opened. So then I paced around my house, feeling somewhat like myself again but still not sure if I was tripping or if I was sober. It was all so confusing, thinking about what I had just been through. It all felt like a dream, but I know that it wasnt. When my step dad got up to leave for work, I ran into him in the kitchen and he asked me if I was okay.  I told him I was fine and thats when I instantly snapped out of it and was back to being my sober, although a bit shaken up, self. Like hearing myself say that to another person proved to me that I was okay and that everything was back to normal again.

That was my first "bad" trip. A terrifying trip is a more accurate description. I had taken shrooms many times before this event, and never did I have an unpleasant trip. They were all wonderfully euphoric and adventurous. This particular trip though, I had taken a lot more than any other time before. I had never done more than an 8th to myself before, but that night I ate close to a quarter. This happened about a month ago, and I havent taken shrooms since. I didnt quit doing them altogether, but I did decide to take a break from them. This past summer I had been doing them every other weekend or so, sometimes even twice a week, so its no surpise to me that I finally came across a bad trip. I learned a lot from it though... and one of those things I learned is to never eat that many shrooms again... unless I feel like losing my fucking mind.


P.S.

Sorry for the super long comment that turned into a trip report, its just that this is my first time being on these forums and I dont know how to post my own report. Maybe once I figure it out, I'll eventually get around to actually making this a trip report on here. Thanks for reading.

sounds like a real trip