(04/07/15 11:44 AM)
I had almost the identical mental process that you had so you're not alone haha.
Let me run you through my trip.
So me and 4 other friends were planning to take shrooms at around 6:30 I believe. I had another friend who was planning to come but I told him last minute that I don't think he should come since he wasn't planning on doing shrooms along with us. This started me off in a negative state of mind but I didn't think it would bother me much (I'm not good at telling people no lol). We decided that we would go out to smoke a joint beforehand but 2 of us decided they wanted maximize their time so they took theirs right away while three of us did them after we smoked. I had a bit of alcohol before we smoked, around 3 or 4.5 drinks (just to take note of what was in my body), I usually drink when I smoke weed because it takes away the paranoia for me and I have done this in shrooms before. So we went out and we debated how much we would take and after a bit of discussion (I wasn't really comfortable with taking higher doses most i had taken before was about a gram and both my friends decided they wanted to take above 2 so i was feeling competitive and obliged to take it along with them) we decided on 2.5 which seemed like a reasonable amount. So we went back and popped them, the first two of my friends ' shrooms were just starting to kick in. It started off well we were goofing around and there was the typical laughing fit as the come up started. We decided to go out and smoke another joint. They really started to kick in on the walk there and everything felt really distorted and off which was strange. To describe what I was feeling was that we were all walking on a conveyer belt through some strange world. On the way back it really started to hit me and I was getting hardcore visuals of geometric shapes, like there was an underlying reality. When we got back to my house we started watching cosmos (if you are not familiar with the show it's about science/physics, origin of the universe type of show) this really set me off, I don't remember exactly the host said that set me off but led me to recall what I learned in philosophy and about one philosopher's view on the senses. What I remembered is that he said that if our senses can deceive us once can we be certain of reality? Something along those lines, which led me to believe that these hallucinations were the actual reality and that my external world was all fake. It really felt like I was losing my reality and I thought I was going schizophrenic and wondered if I would ever come out of the trip and return to myself. I began going through a process of elimination of everything around me in my reality, including my friends which led to this intense terror of being alone/lack of meaning etc. I thought I went through the process of accepting death. I eventually told my friends "hey I think im going crazy" in which one of my friends recognized that I wasn't looking too good so he helped me out. I kept going upstairs to get some water and returning and I did this a couple times and my friend suggested I make tea to warm myself up. When that was done and my friend came upstairs to check on me I was still really out of it. He suggested I put in my headphones as they were dangling from my shirt collar most of the trip. I had some really warm and bubbly, nice music set for the entire trip. I had taken my headphones out for some reason and was too distracted by the trip to remember to put them back in. Once I did this I immediately felt like I was being pulled back into my mind and into my body and my reality and I experienced the best relief/happy feeling I ever had. in the time of the trip this was just after the mushrooms had peaked and they began to suppress.
I tripped again two weeks later and experienced almost the exact same thing but on a slightly lower dosage.