Posted by OldmanandtheSpore (10/08/23 11:55 AM)
So you don't mention if this was your first or fiftieth trip.  As others have said it sounds like issues you still need to deal with are more of an issue than the trip itself.  Though for me 2.5 grams of GT's would be a very light trip for me.  Also you don't mention enough info on whether you had others substances like alcohol which should never be taken when doing most recreational drugs.  Also unfortunately unless you've had years, decades of therapy like myself as I also lived through over a decade and a half of a living hell with violent drunks for parents as a small child through my teen years including living with alcoholic siblings.  Two things come to mind.  Get some help, focus on that first.  You don't have to swear off psychedelics though you might want to either cut way back both quantity and frequency.  You can always revisit them at a later date.  Finding a decent therapist who knows your struggles and knows there will be no quick fixes is critical. The good news is most work on a sliding scale or if you're on your parents plan they should have at least some limited counseling benefits to get your foot in the door. I'm 67 and had quit alcohol in 1984 and stopped pot smoking in 2010. I had tripped twice as a teen once on acid and once on shrooms.  Finding clean acid is too iffy. Buying shrooms at my age and circle of friends was not going to happen. So I learned to grow them and not only have my own verifiable  clean source of shrooms, I have found a wonderful hobby! Something you should consider once you are out on your own. Remember, set and setting is key to a good trip.  In other words you don't want to walk back into the lions den for at least 24 hours after tripping.  You don't want to start a trip when you're head is not in a good setting.  So I'd suggest you be in a safe place a day ahead of your trip with no or minimal contact with negative sources that day before tripping. Now my very last suggestion is that you get a basic physical, it can't hurt and it may show something in you're blood test and screening like High Blood pressure which can be stressed induced.  Have a honest conversation with your Doctor with the understanding he keep it confidential with in his ability as a practicing Doctor. Good luck and best wishes.

Posted by DBoone01 (09/30/23 12:43 AM)
Your story suggests to me that "blackouts" may not be the main problem here, so here are my thoughts"

I had a horrible home life growing up and consumed everything I could that I thought would make me feel better. 

So I can relate to your situation.

 Then went through many years of life still tasting what was available to make me feel good.

What I've learned is that nothing you can consume or indulge in will fix anything that relates to your  personal relationships with family, friends or lovers.

Best thing I can suggest is start forming your launch off / escape plan from home, and live the life you want to live, with passion!

Some higher education / college could be useful. Other paths wait for you as well.

If you've got access to a medical plan that gives you access to counselors - take advantage of that no matter what you have to cop to. 

I did and it was a good thing for me.


I wish you the best in life.....   time for you to take control...  and find a direction that works for you






Posted by Feeling squishy (09/24/23 04:29 AM)
Ive seen something very similar happen to a person that I was very close to. He also had a lot of trauma from childhood, rape, violence, bouncing around living situations. One of the best men I have ever known. Gifted with empathy and understanding Ive never seen in another person, truly an amazing human being. He punched his girlfriend in the face out of nowhere and beat the shit out of our close friend who tried to help. He was nonverbal and didnt remember a thing.

People who occasionally black out and do crazy things, I have always kind of thought probably shouldnt do psychedelics in large amounts. Like no more than two grams of mushrooms. But thats completely up to whoever that person is, I dont judge if they do, I%u2019m just concerned about them. I fear for their safety.

I do not think anyone can tell you why that happened or if it will happen again. I do not think it means that you are a fucked up person. Large amounts of psychedelics are not for everyone, in every stage of life. I have seen others black out and go into cycles of repetitive behavior (more on lsd but also one on mushrooms). But I have been around a lot of drug use, and this is fairly rare. You just gotta be careful and stay out of jail, and do not get yourself of someone else hurt.

Maybe for a while you should take smaller doses, maybe under two grams. I would use those smaller trips to look inward and decide how to proceed with psychedelics. 

Edited 9/24/2023 3:44 AM