Posted by Bcreed123 (08/23/20 10:51 PM)
Dez: Yes, I%u2019m lucky I didn%u2019t experience that. However, if I had I would have embraced it. Fearing what%u2019s inside of me makes zero sense. If going down the rabbit hole is diving into myself then that%u2019s like saying I%u2019m fearing myself. Right? I did see a lot of dark things when I started mediating but freaking out over those things wouldn%u2019t have benefited me in the least. It would have only done as you said and increase my fear, which is what PTSD is. I agree about the nature part. I%u2019ve got a spot that I go to on a regular basis that%u2019s on a river bank. It%u2019s very quiet and no one knows about it. I try to make it there Twice a week to mediate. 

Tryptamine: I%u2019ll do some more research on it for sure. Sounds like I%u2019ve got a lot to learn about shrooms, HA. Mediation has helped me with the depression/anger significantly. I%u2019ve been much better about slowing my roll before going off on someone. I%u2019ve found that it has improved my relationships with friends and family. If you ever need a stranger to bounce things off of... I usually get on here a couple times a week. 

Thanks gents! 
Posted by DezGWest7 (08/23/20 06:02 PM)
There's a few ways I'm looking at this. You left out your set/setting though. If you're dealing with serious depression & anger and you're trying to force shrooms to make you feel better, they probably won't in the way you want. As a matter of fact you should be glad those emotions didn't show up during trip cause you'd be going thru PTSD right now. I say find nature and make regular visits there to go on walks or just chill. You can also try your trip in nature. Don't take my word for it though, just search the effect of being in nature on exactly what you're bothered by right now.
Posted by tryptamine14 (08/23/20 01:53 PM)
You can take more zoomers!  My normal tea is ~5g dry.  Sometimes 7g!

Or you might carefully consider an MAOI ike Syrian Rue/B. Caapi to up the ante.
Of course be mindful of potential interactions - do your research first. 

I also hit a bit of a wall with mushrooms; was looking for a little more a while back.
I think it was due to me going down the rabbit hole too frequently; the quantity of experiences had me getting more and more familiar with the space.
However, Rue changed the quality of my trip significantly.  As I'm sure B. Caapi would or any other B-Carboline containing compound. 
Huge potentiating effects.

Great insights, btw.
I also deal with depression/anger.  I haven't gotten very far in "dealing" with them. Mostly I've just been in a place to better witness myself.
Trying to understand and be at peace with why I am the way I am.  I wish you the absolute best for yourself and hope you find what you're looking for, man.
Good luck to you.  Be careful.