Posted by Kasumi (08/19/15 04:40 PM)
the film 'altered states' and remember the quote what morpheus said "the mind makes it real", remember to stay centred, peace :)
Posted by Kasumi (08/19/15 04:35 PM)

hey you :) 
I have experienced the same, discipline yourself, this is where ur strength will come from, you have to be in the middle, not tripping from left to right, face ur fears by being sturdy at the centre, when rushes of emotion take over then accept this as ur first challenge, reject everything uncomfortable ur mind presents to u to believe during this moment - because u need to practice/exercise discipline, remember that life has many chapters, a new and evolved chapter will occur next as it always does, you will look back at this chapter and remember the darkness you came through, this is the making of a real ninja :D a ninja must travel through the darkness in order to learn true strength as this strength will be used/needed in preparation for the next chapter, its kinda like exercising hard core at the gym or training religiously for 2 years in martial arts and then being badass at .. martial arts lol only those that go through it are given the ability which they will find useful / necessary for their next chapter (the now), there is much you need to learn about life, consciousness and reality, don't beat urself up because u are only getting glimpses of understanding about your true nature, don't fill the gaps with terror thoughts, just be patient, and be disciplined, reject abstract or spontaneous random thoughts or instincts until you are balanced enough to learn from them and progress further in your understanding, reject, meditate with discipline and ride in the centre, not all over the place, I hope that makes sense, don't forget to take it easy but I guess you will feel that in time, a true master dusts themselves off and continues :)  organisation is a cool emotion

Posted by XanderCage (07/09/15 06:29 PM)
Man i could totally imagine when you mentioned you felt you had to go to the insane asylum. I took half an 8th one point in my life and i tried calling 911 but was afraid to tell them about how i took drugs lol. So i called 411 information and talked to them to calm me down lol. But right now i have 2.5grams stored away. I hope i have a great trip and learn from it like you have learned from your experience. Thanks for sharing and informing us. 
Posted by Clloverhater (05/28/15 04:02 PM)
Thanks for the insight Lost Bear! I was interested/thought about getting  in wicca or Buddhism. I was mentally and spiritually  plagued for years about God, the existence, what ifs and why's and how's. On the 40th night, God came and spoke to me. I kept hearing the word "atonement". I've heard that word before but, never knew what it meant. I looked it up and wow! I had prayed/talked to Him the day before, asking Him to help me get back to Him! 
Posted by Lost Bear (05/14/15 12:49 PM)
@Clloverhater, definitely sounds close to a bad trip. Bad trips can often be frightening and can often occur from instability or conflict. 
I would also recommend what those prior have recommended. 
A healthy body is nothing without a healthy mind, and vice versa. I would say take care of yourself physically and mentally before going in again. 
Personally, my beliefs are most closely related to Wicca. PM me if you have any questions about it. 
Posted by Clloverhater (04/17/15 05:20 PM)
That is good advice PureSaffronz! Thank you! I do find myself unfilled spiritually. I have been looking for a long time. I try Christianity, but I don't feel it. I can't make or force myself to feel or believe something in my heart, no matter how hard I try(tried). I do believe in the earth and the universe. I would like to check out Buddhism and wicca. I am lonely most of the time. I feel like I can be with a group of people and still feel just as alone. I guess I've just come to accept this. I'm a lonely soul. I really do want to find myself! Idk where to look or how to go about it? I also would really like to start meditating, but whenever I've tried before, I can't totally clear my head. My mind races (like always) and I see things (visuals) when I close my eyes, and that's not from psychedelics, it's always been this way for me! Thank you again for your comment and advice! 
Posted by PureSaffronz (04/17/15 11:11 AM)
your trip sounds amazing/scary - but what i also learned from reading a lot of books about the brain, is that we have two separate brains - right and left - which also have different personalities to a certain extent - and in our reality the left brain usually has the dominance - thus allowing us to process the world around us in a linear way, which is why on shrooms the concept of time is hard to understand. However the right brain doesn't work like that - and usually experiences the world as energy and in a more spectacular way, with colours and amazing patterns. Shrooms usually stimulate the right brain much more then the left - and you finally get a break from the left side - which allowed you to feel the energy around you. it seems that the energy you felt around you wasn't so good - and that could be the area you live, the feelings towards your friend, or the general lonely feeling you sub-consciencely have (perhaps something you feel, without actually something you activily thought about). Also another thing - you thought your friend and sister was jesus - and you was asking them if they were - also you was thinking about the devil etc - i find that usually people who have this kind of thing are unfulfilled spiritually. im not saying go church  or anything - but perhaps you should actively seek out fulfilment through meditation, being more active, eating better, or finding yourself. once you find yourself its more likely your next trip won't be you walking around the universe alone - take this trips advice and fulfil yourself.
Posted by Clloverhater (04/16/15 03:50 PM)
Yeah it did stir up a bit of fear inside me. What do you mean by, it could be something that I didn't transcend? I will try that advice! Thank you! 
I don't really think that I'm dead anymore. Which is a good thing. But, I've been wondering now what if I'm stuck in my coma! And or what if everything I am and have experienced and EVERYTHING. is just a projection/illusion in my conscious! 
When I tripped numerous times on Salvia and this one time on shrooms, it's like an empty existence that I'm in.  I fear that I perceived what hell is or could be like, or that's what afterlife is, just me Alone. What are your thoughts on this? I tripped a good amount of times on LSD and don't remember ever experiencing anything like that. I read that acid is like a trip without a soul. 
Posted by Mummitrollet (04/16/15 09:35 AM)
Sounds like the trip has stirred up a tiny little bit of fear in you. Not to worry. I was pretty sure I was about to go insane for a few weeks after my first trip (5g). But it didnt happen. it also never happened to another friend of mine who had the same thoughts.

This is only my two cents on the matter, but the fear and paranoia you experience (the messing with you part and the made up or fake part) could be just something that you didnt transcend during the trip and thus it may follow you for a while after. What to do with it? Expose that illusion! See it for what it is! A mirror that shows you some part of you that you dont like. Next time you meditate, why not sit in the darkness and ask the fear to come and then when you really feel it you just bombard it with as much love and compassion you can throw at it! Tell it that you are ready to accept it. Then it will either just go away or become transformed into a power inside you you can use for good!

Take care!
Posted by Clloverhater (04/15/15 04:58 PM)
Yeah it does make me kinda happy to be with company. Though, since that trip I've been having a lot of really weird anomalies. I sometimes think that I'm back in Wonderland and some people know it and maybe messing with me, or we're both in it. Also get the scary thought that my "reality" is just made up or fake in my (un) conscious! I also sometimes get the vibe/thought that everyone is me, an aberration of myself. I still have been dwelling on the thought that I could be dead. I'm really trying to get rid of that. I tried meditating once while listening to NIN song Corona radiata. My mind races and I see stuff when I try meditation. Thank you for your response to this! 
Posted by Mummitrollet (04/15/15 04:00 PM)
What a trip that must have been! It really took me down memory lane/rabbit hole just reading your story. It reminds me to be careful with the mushrooms myself. So thank you for that!
I have had much of the same feelings like you did. Extreme loneliness f.ex. I went from being a guy who like to spend most of my time alone (being super happy about it, not depressed or anything) to missing company. After seeing that you are the only one in this universe it kinda makes you miss just hanging around people dont it? :)
Dont worry about feeling different afterwards. It happens to most people and then it passes, unless you cultivate it. Like meditating or similar. So just keep cultivating the love and compassion and you will have a wonderful second trip and life in general <3
Posted by Clloverhater (04/15/15 10:19 AM)
Sorry, I messed up spelling eighth lol. 1/8th of an ounce. Thanks, I hope I have a better one next time I go down (or up) the rabbit hole too! I read someone's comment somewhere on here that acid is like a trip without a soul?! 
Posted by with_TEETH (04/15/15 06:52 AM)
Wow, dude... That IS a crazy fuckin' trip hahaha!

"he eyeballs two eight's one for each of us" - What are eights??

I gotta say i had a trip not too dissimilar from this on new year eve but that was on acid. I felt very lonely, cold and afraid. It was fucking horrible actually. Kept seeing a shadow-like figure walk by behind me in all the mirrors but wasnt there when i turned around.

I tend to feel a lot more relaxed and 'one with the universe' kinda thing when im on shrooms though.

Hope you have a better one next time!