Posted by GGTBod (01/25/11 03:58 PM)

Love the fungi for what they continue to teach me about myself

 

 

Edited 1/25/2011 11:00 PM


Edited 6/19/2011 2:10 AM
Posted by physicist (01/16/11 08:46 PM)
Wonderful story.  This is a great way to put psilocybin to use as a tool.  keep doing what you are doing!
Posted by GGTBod (12/27/10 04:59 PM)
The darkness is how you explore your mind and not resisting whatever it is your are seeing, feeling or hearing is the key, do not try to force a specific vison of something you know you want to sort out, just go into the darkness with it and your subconcious will take you where you need to go, if you need to go anywhere. 

If you have any outside influences then your trip will involve these influences. You ask about music, if i play music whilst sitting in the dark i get beautiful imagery and geometric patterns stimulated by the music and the stronger the dose does not change this they are just more intense visuals, this is great fun but not what i was after.

I hear the "ego death" that the Mckenna brothers refered to regularly regarded as something not good, to me this is the key to real tripping. With your eyes open affected by stimulous from your regular reality, like being outdoors walking in the woods or fields or the beach or watching a movie or being creative and painting or modelling, sculpting, anything with your eyes open is your ego playing with the molecule, in these situations we are letting our ego use the molecule for entertainment, it is only when your ego dissolves and you give in to the molecules and your subconcious brain that you get any messages that your subconcious has been trying to get across to your ego, the molecules are just the tools and if you don't use a tool properly you never get the true benefit from it.

This is just what i am beggining to understand and interpret from my years of using the molecules on both sides of the scale, for years and years since I was 14 my ego played with the molecules and had the time of its life with them and only through looking for a more intense experience with my ego aged 25-26 I ventured into the darkness and discovered the other side. The deeper the darkness the more it devours you, I used to hang a very thick dark blanket over any window and make sure there are no standby lights on any electricals, you should be able to wave your hand infront of your face and not see it, well at least not whilst you are not hallucinating. I swear by it.

I do not know anything about psychology, I am just a regular person with a love of all natural hallucinogens because of what their use has helped me learn about myself from myself.
Edited 12/28/2010 0:01 AM
Edited 12/28/2010 2:54 AM
Posted by surfedout (12/26/10 07:00 PM)

Great report. I've dabbled with cubensis at low doses several times and once at high dose specifically for self therapy. had some interesting experience with regressing to a  primal state, released some infantile screaming and crying, but am yet to confront any vivid traumatic events. They were intersting trips but not all that healing I felt.  I was following Mckennas lead on the high dose but didn't really commit to the dark room. I now know this was my mistake. I wonder if the dark setting and high dose can bring that type of experience on for most people. Does music ever play a part or best quiet?

The bubbles you describe are interesting too, I've read somewhere that our subconsious/energy body encapsulates unprossesed experieces in a type of energy bubble much like the physical body would a foreign object. I'd love to hear more information on this subject.


Edited 12/27/2010 8:49 PM
Posted by GGTBod (12/16/10 12:59 AM)

Thanks for the comments, I am glad it makes sense to more people than just me.

Bad trip is a strange thing, parts of them at the times are bad but if you're in one there is no point resisting it,. It's a age old thing that we (psychdelic users) all say over and over along the lines of "go with it" "relax  and breath" but the difference between thinking you have let go and actually really truely sliding and giving yourself to the molecules with no resistance regardless of what you are seeing/thinking/feeling and just exist as part of the experience is sometimes hard to do but if you can i've always found it worth whatever it makes me go through.

Still to this day these times hold some of the best trips of my life, The days following each one where i really solved a problem that had made me develope certain mental ticks or habbits of behaviour which had since development had hindered my daily life, these were really amazing with excessive natural endorphin release randomly but especially when i was gaining access to areas of persoanal communication and interaction in society and my life that my recently lost mental tick would have prevented me even realising existed, also i don't have a regular supply of Cyanescens anymore at the moment.
Posted by gsk (12/15/10 10:27 PM)
Excellent report, thanks for sharing, it means a lot.
Posted by lilmissbitty (12/14/10 12:19 PM)
That is an inspiring story and just goes to show that you can't fear a "bad" trip or else you won't learn and grow from it.